Savannah’s eyes darkened. “I’m afraid it is. Mother never cared for Lucas’s musical abilities. She thought they were an indication of our father’s lower-class origins and not something to be celebrated.” Savannah’s mouth tightened as she discussed her mother. “Mother believed in appearances, and her version of respectability mattered above all else. When Lucas stopped working at our father’s store, she saw it as a betrayal.”
“How sad,” Genevieve murmured, her gaze drawn up the hill to Lucas, now teasing Billy and Myrtle.
“It was devastating for Lucas,” Savannah said, her focus on Jeremy and Gabriel who had decided to race. “Oh my.” She clasped her hands in front of her chest as they rushed down the hill. They put their feet out to act like brakes and laughingly called the race a tie.
After a deep breath, Savannah said, “The McLeods have always been close. The brothers, that is. They have an aunt and cousins they don’t acknowledge. However, Rissa and I came here to escape bad memories in Boston.”
“Isn’t one of their cousins here in Butte?” Genevieve asked.
Savannah stilled as her husband and brother-in-law teased each other as they walked back up the hill. “Yes, he is. However, he isn’t considered part of the family. He is a mean, vile man who relishes hurting those around him.” She shuddered.
“You seem to know quite a bit about that type of man,” Genevieve teased, unable to provoke an answering smile in Savannah. She frowned at Savannah’s arrested expression. “You wouldn’t be Savannah Montgomery, would you?”
Savannah flinched at the name. “I was her, for a while. I’m Savannah McLeod now, a woman I am proud of.”
Genevieve’s eyes widened, and she bit her lip before looking away.
“I can see I’ve shocked you,” Savannah said with a wry smile. “I prefer not to think about that time of my life if I can help it. However, it seems to me that you were attempting to escape a similar fate in which I found myself ensnared. Am I wrong?”
Genevieve shook her head. “I wish it had all been different.”
“Genevieve, as I’m sure others have said, but which I know to be true, the lacking of your parents’ regard is no reflection on you. It’s on them. In your instance, your father lacked integrity in his duty to care for you as his daughter. In my case, in Lucas’s case, it was our mother.” Savannah’s eyes flitted to the hill as an impromptu snowball fight began.
“I understand what it is to fear a man,” Savannah whispered. “I know what it is to learn to trust again.” She met Genevieve’s startled gaze. “For my brother’s sake, please make the effort.” She turned away then, laughing as the snowball fight intensified. She ran up the hill to join in, leaving Genevieve alone.
Genevieve shivered as they entered their rooms at the Finlen. She moved to the screened-off area and shucked her sodden clothes, leaving them in a damp heap on the floor. She donned her flannel nightclothes and heavy wool socks, and emerged. Lucas had changed into a clean red-checkered flannel shirt and was slipping on a dry pair of black pants.
“I beg your pardon,” she stammered as she averted her gaze. Shivering, she climbed into bed under the heavy covers.
“Vivie, what are you doing? We are due at Pat’s tonight for dinner.” He buttoned his pants closed and moved to the edge of the bed, frowning as her shudders seemed to intensify. “My little love, are you all right?”
He scooted under the covers, tugging her closer. “You’re freezing,” he gasped, fighting his instinctive recoil to move away from her. Instead he pulled her tighter into his arms, gifting her with his warmth. “You should have said how cold you were and insisted on returning sooner.”
“I didn’t want to ruin anyone’s fun,” she stammered. “Although I should have known better than to make snow angels.”
Lucas laughed. “I’ve yet to meet anyone who can turn down Billy McLeod.” He ran soothing hands over her, murmuring sweet nonsensical words as he held her. “Did you enjoy the day, Vivie?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “I love your family.”
“You are not to fall asleep,” he demanded. He pushed and pulled on her shoulders until he’d rolled her to face him. “I want you to keep talking to me.”
“I don’t have hypothermia,” she said with a smile, her eyes closed. “I’m simply tired after all that fresh air.” She giggled. “Even with three races, you never beat Melly.”
Lucas grumbled. “I’d hoped at least one of the races would be fair.”
Genevieve opened her eyes, her gaze warm and relaxed. “Jeremy only held you back twice.”
He mock-frowned, although a smile teased his lips. “He pushed her so hard the third time she almost slid off her toboggan!”
Genevieve laughed and raised a hand to his chest. “My poor Lucas, thwarted at sledding.” She leaned forward, resting her forehead against his. “Can we stay like this all night?”
She heard his breath hitch but didn’t move away from him. “Vivie, I know you want very little from me. That you tolerate me at best. There’s no need to act like you want more than you do. I won’t hurt you or be angry with you.”
“Where do you go at night when you leave our room? I wake with the memory of you holding me, but I’m always alone,” she whispered.
He pushed back a little to meet her worried gaze. “To the piano in the basement here. I work on compositions or play old ones. Whatever I’m in the mood for.”
She intently searched his face for any signs of deceit. “You don’t roam the streets of Butte? Looking for a … a …” She blushed, unable to finish her sentence.
He laughed. “No. I’ve no interest in the so-called pleasures Butte has to offer.” He ran a hand through her long brown hair. “I saw you speaking with my sister today.”
Genevieve nodded and bit her lip once more. At his silence, a question burst out. “Did you marry me because you wanted to make amends for what happened to Savannah?”
His fingers gently massaging her head stilled a moment before continuing to move. “I must admit that I thought of Savannah when I considered what I would do.”
“I don’t want your pity.” She glared at him, the joy and contentment from minutes ago evaporating.
“It wasn’t pity, Vivie. It’s concern. A desire that you shouldn’t suffer as my sister did. No woman should feel threatened and fearful of her husband, although I know it’s too common an occurrence. The thought that I could do something to prevent you from suffering a similar, or God forbid, worse fate than befell Savannah and do nothing …” He shook his head. “You’re right. I couldn’t protect my own sister, and that guilt has eaten away at me for years.”
“If you need absolution, speak to her. Or a priest,” Genevieve snapped. “You shouldn’t have tied yourself to a woman you can barely stomach.”
“That’s just the problem,” he said. “I do like you. I like your spirit. I like that you speak your mind and ask difficult questions, even though it’s challenging for you. Your determination to be seen as your own person is something I greatly admire. I’m delighted you are interested in social causes that affect those less fortunate than you.”
She flushed but continued to meet his gaze. “I don’t want you to feel trapped with me.”
“The truth of the matter is that we are trapped together. We are married. I know we could divorce, but that would do you no good. You’d be destitute, and I highly doubt you’d desire to return to Boston to live off your sister’s charity.” He cupped her face and stroked fingers against her soft cheek. “Why don’t you want to be married to me now?”
She shook her head and lowered it, butting her head against his chest. “It’s that … I … I worry …” She jerked as a loud knock on the door interrupted her.
“Dammit,” he muttered. “Don’t forget what you were going to say.” He climbed out of bed and opened the door. “Jer. We’ll meet you there. Vivie is still warming up after our snow adventures.” He laughed at something Jeremy said in a low voice. “Don’t think I
won’t get you back for today!” He closed the door with a chuckle.
He flicked the lock on the door and returned to the bed, climbing in again. He sighed with pleasure as she curled into him. “Where were we?”
“You take great delight in your family, don’t you?” She traced a pattern on his chest. He nodded. “I wonder why you’ve spent so much time away from them.”
“Vivie, I’ll answer all your questions. Later. First I want to know what you were going to say.” He met her fearful gaze. “Please. Trust me.” When she remained silent, he coaxed, “You worry …”
“I worry that I’ll come to care for you more than you’ll ever care for me. I don’t want to be that woman. I don’t want to be bitter and resenting fate.”
Lucas bit back a smile. “So you’re saying you do care for me?”
“Yes, but I … I know you …” She broke off and sighed.
Lucas eased her onto her back and half leaned over her while resting the majority of his weight on an elbow. “I really need you to finish that sentence.”
“I know you’ll never care for me the way you cared for Parthena. I’ll always be second best. And I hate that.” She blinked rapidly and met his astonished gaze with a mutinous one.
Lucas nodded and held her gaze. “I can’t change the past, Vivie. I can’t lie to you and say I didn’t care for your sister. I did, desperately at one time. However, she chose a different path, and I had to let her go.” He kept a firm hold of her when she moved to wriggle away. “Do you know that at one time I believed she’d be a perfect wife for me because I thought she’d understand when I disappeared in my compositions for hours?”
Hurt and jealousy flared in Genevieve’s gaze.
“What I’ve come to realize these past weeks is that we would have constantly competed against each other. She craved the limelight and recognition of her talent as much as she craved any affection from me.” He stroked a finger over Genevieve’s brow. “It’s no criticism of her but just reality. I wonder if we would have lasted a year before the fighting began.”
“She’s extraordinarily talented,” Genevieve said.
Lucas laughed. “Of course she is, and I admire your loyalty. But she needs someone different than me. Someone who isn’t also in the pursuit of creative inspiration. Someone grounded.” He shook his head. “I would never have admitted this a few months ago, but I think she needs someone like her husband.”
“What do you need?” Genevieve whispered.
His eyes flared with hope as he looked at her. “I need someone who sees me. Lucas. Not some famous composer.”
Her gaze softened.
“I want someone who understands that I mean no disrespect when I disappear to play the piano or compose. Someone who will listen with an open ear to my compositions and tell me when they are good and where they are lacking. Someone who finds beauty in what I create. Honesty. Trust.” His eyes flared with heat. “Passion.”
“I fear I can’t be that woman for you.”
His thumbs brushed over her cheeks. “Don’t you know you already are?” He canted his head toward hers, their breaths mingling, but refrained from kissing her. “I won’t kiss you, caress you again, until I know it is what you desire.” He pushed away from her, releasing her from his hold. “For now, I think we should journey to Patrick’s. I’m sure we’ll receive enough ribbing once we arrive.”
Genevieve faced him. “If it’s all right with you, I think I’ll stay here. I can’t possibly venture into the cold again, and I’m not at all hungry.”
Even though concerned, he nodded his agreement. “I’ll bring back something for you.” He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead before he turned, donned his coat, hat, and gloves, and departed.
Chapter 9
Lucas knocked on Patrick’s front door, and, when no one opened it, he let himself in. He heard laughter coming from the living room where a large slab of plywood had been placed over sawhorses, creating a long dining table. He poked his head in, his family laughing and teasing each other as food was passed around. He saw two empty seats and smiled.
Patrick looked up and saw him. “Lucas! We thought you’d never arrive, and we were starving.”
Lucas smiled and sat at one of the empty seats, next to Melinda. “Please forgive Vivie for not coming tonight. She didn’t want to venture forth into the cold again.”
“Especially not after you’d worked so hard to warm her up,” Colin teased.
Lucas laughed and accepted the bowl of mashed potatoes. He continued to fill his plate and pass dishes until all had been served everything. “Thank you, Fiona, for cooking another wonderful meal.”
She smiled. “’Tis nothing. I enjoy cooking, and it is a true pleasure to have Patrick’s family visit.”
She stiffened when Patrick clasped her hand.
“How is darling Rose?” Lucas looked around the table to see her absent.
“She’s abed. She was exhausted after the adventure of sledding with her father today,” Fiona said, a warm smile lighting her features and masking her discomfort with Patrick’s touch.
“I think what froze Vivie was making snow angels,” Lucas said in between mouthfuls of food. He glared at Colin and Jeremy as they snickered.
“We know you needed to warm her up before venturing here,” Gabriel said, laughter tingeing his voice.
“Gabriel, hush,” Clarissa admonished. “I’m certain he acted as any attentive husband would.” Rather than her words subduing her husband, they caused him to burst into peals of laughter. She clenched her jaw as she attempted to remain serious and sent Lucas an apologetic look.
His amused gaze met Savannah’s worried one, and he smiled in reassurance. She studied him a few moments, only relaxing when Jeremy stroked a hand down her back.
“Sav, will you take Vivie shopping tomorrow?” Lucas asked.
“I don’t understand why a woman from a well-to-do family doesn’t have the necessary items after only a few weeks away from her family,” Fiona said.
Lucas squirmed in his chair. “Well, she had to fool her father, so she couldn’t pack any trunks. She’s had three dresses for the past weeks, and I think she’d like some new clothes.”
“I love shopping,” Melly said. “And Mama loves to go to Hennessy’s. She says that, even though we have the Merc in Missoula, nothing compares to Hennessy’s.” Melly smiled at her uncle. “I bet Aunt Vivie will like it better than anything in Boston.”
Clarissa choked back a laugh. “It is a marvelous store, but wonderful stores are in Boston too. Including your grandfather’s linen store.” Clarissa smiled as Melinda blushed.
“Why don’t all the women go shopping tomorrow?” Gabriel said. “We can watch the children, and the women of the family can have some free time away from us.”
“Who will prepare the dinner?” Fiona asked.
“Tell us what needs to be chopped, and it will all be ready when you return,” Jeremy said. “None of us are strangers to a kitchen.” He winked at her as he played with loose strands of Savannah’s hair.
“Well, if you will give us such a boon, then you should have one too,” Fiona said as she glanced at the women around the table. “Off with you to the pub. You know you’ve wanted to go there for a right proper chat since you arrived.”
Gabriel raised his eyebrows, unable to hide the triumphant smile he shared with Jeremy. He rose, slapping Patrick on the back as the men left the table to collect their coats. They attempted to act disappointed as the women shooed them from the house but shared a gleeful smile once they were on the porch with the front door closed securely behind them. “Let’s get going before they change their minds,” Patrick said.
“Which one?” Colin joked as there were over two hundred bars in Butte.
Patrick laughed and led them to a local bar not far from the house. They skidded on some ice and climbed over a snow bank as they crossed a street to enter the small bar.
Lucas watched with interest the scene
inside as a man attempted to create music by playing spoons. As his family moved to the bar to purchase drinks, Lucas paused near the doorway, listening to the disharmonious notes somehow creating a harmony. He jumped as Colin slapped him on the back and pushed him toward a table to one side of the bar.
He sat, nodding his thanks to Gabriel, who slid a glass of beer in front of him.
“Cheers,” Lucas said as they clinked glasses before drinking a long sip. “Ah, that tastes heavenly.”
Patrick sat next to him with unconcealed curiosity. Jeremy and Gabriel were seated next to each other, and Colin was on the other side of Lucas. They all stared at him, waiting in silence.
He frowned and rubbed at his mouth. “What?”
“Why is it that you aren’t with your wife tonight?” Patrick asked.
Lucas frowned and shook his head.
“It’s obvious you care for her,” Colin said, “even if she is the sister of the daft woman who failed to have the good sense to marry you last summer rather than the heartless businessman she tied herself to.” Colin stared at him for moment. “Have you shown her that you want her, not her sister?”
“It’s really none of your business,” Lucas said, slamming his glass onto the table with a loud crack.
Jeremy laughed. “Of course it is. We’re family, and our family always interferes.” He raised an eyebrow at his brother-in-law. “You knew that when you decided to travel here.”
Lucas sighed and leaned against the back of his chair. He listened for a moment to the spoon music, but that failed to ease any of his tension. “I care for her. Each day I’m with her, I care for her more.”
“Why did you marry her?” Gabriel asked. “I never thought you were the marrying kind. You seemed content with your nomadic ways, traveling from city to city, performing and composing as you went.”
Lucas raised his gaze to meet Jeremy’s, knowing he would understand. “Her father would have wed her to a man as bad, or worse than, Jonas. I couldn’t allow that to happen.”
Escape To Love: Banished Saga, Book 6 Page 9
