by S. J. West
It’s composed of five canapés, which he tells us represents the world. He patiently explains to me what some of them are. The first represents China and is a cone of pickled vegetables with plum cream. Another one is a ceviche broth from Peru. Mexico is represented with guacamole, tomato water, and coriander. And the Moroccan portion is composed of a yogurt concoction with almond, rose, honey saffron, and spices.
While we eat this, Aiden strikes up a conversation about Yale and if I’ve found a place to live near the college yet. We end up discussing our plans for our time there, and I discover Aiden has signed up for all the same classes as I have.
“How did you know what classes I would be taking?” I ask him as the waiter takes away our dishes and says he will be back with the main course.
Aiden smiles. “I had a spy within your midst.”
I sit there for a moment to think, but it doesn’t take me long to figure out who fed Aiden the information.
“Jess.”
Aiden nods.
“That’s why she was so interested in helping me decide what classes to take,” I say. “I wondered why she cared so much.”
Aiden shrugs. “She knew my plan and figured I would want to be able to go to your classes with you.”
I make a note to myself to give Jess a big hug the next time I see her.
Our faithful waiter brings over our main course. He tells me it’s a signature dish of the restaurant consisting of Iberian suckling pig with artichokes, decorated on top with artichoke flowers, orange, lemon, and beetroot arranged in the middle of the dish to look like a beautiful flower.
While we eat, Aiden informs me that after he steps down from being the head of the Memphis Watcher Headquarters, Mason plans to place Jered in the position.
“I’m sure that doesn’t make Uncle Malcolm too happy,” I say.
“No. He isn’t happy about it, but he isn’t our leader yet either.”
“So, Mason must really trust Jered if he plans to place him in charge of one of the headquarters.”
“Mason has always tried to help Jered. I think he feels sorry for him more than anything. And, over the past few years, they’ve become friends. It took a while for Jered to stop craving blood enough to be around humans again. Mason was the one who helped him the most during his darkest days.”
“Who helped you?” I ask, knowing Aiden would have gone through a similar experience in order to earn his forgiveness.
“Desmond,” Aiden tells me. “He was one of the few who thought I was worth saving. We were friends before the fall and before I chose to become what I became.”
Alongside my note for Jess, I make another note to thank Desmond for being such a good friend to Aiden.
After we finish our meal, I expect our waiter to bring a dessert but he doesn’t. Instead, Aiden stands from his chair and comes around to mine to pull it out for me so I can stand too.
“Are you taking me home?” I ask, thinking it’s way too early for that.
“No, we’re going to my house in the Bahamas for dessert,” he tells me.
I see Slade and Jered walk towards us.
“Enjoy your meal?” Jered asks me.
I smile. “Yes, I did. How about you?”
Jered gives Slade a sideways glance. “It was interesting.”
“So,” Slade says, “beach house now, right?”
“Yes,” Aiden says. “The places I showed you earlier.”
Each man nods and phases.
“What places?” I ask.
“I showed them each spots outside the house where they would have good vantage points to keep an eye on things.”
“So, we’ll be alone inside?” I ask, my heart beginning to race because I remember Aiden’s vision of how this evening is supposed to end.
Aiden takes my hand and phases us to the living room of his home.
“Yes,” he says, a sly grin stretching his lips as he turns to me.
“And now that you have me here,” I say looking up at him, “what exactly do you plan to do with me, Aiden?”
“Feed you?” He asks, like he hopes I won’t be too disappointed by his answer.
“Feed me what exactly?”
Aiden pulls me alongside him as he heads to the sleek, modern kitchen at the back of the house.
He opens up the freezer section of the large stainless steel double door refrigerator and pulls out a tub of chocolate and a tub of vanilla ice cream. From the refrigerator section, he pulls out a jar of maraschino cherries, canned whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and caramel syrup.
“Ice cream sundaes?” I ask.
“Yes,” Aiden says, walking over to one of the glass wall cabinets and pulling out two white bowls then grabbing some spoons out of a nearby drawer. “I’m not a cook yet so I couldn’t exactly make you anything edible. I thought this would be something we could do together.”
I smile because I think it’s sweet of Aiden to come up with this plan. It’s not something I would have expected him to arrange for us to do together.
I look down at what he has and ask, “So, where are the nuts?”
Aiden sets the bowls and spoons in front of me on the kitchen island before looking up at me.
“Nuts?” He asks, like the concept is foreign to him.
“You know the little can of toasted pecans.”
“I don’t have any,” Aiden says slightly worried. “Do we need them?”
“It’s better with them,” I say.
“Any grocery store should have them, right?”
“Yes, they should.”
Aiden holds his hand out to me, and I soon find myself standing at the back of a small, mostly empty of customers, grocery store.
“This way,” Aiden says, holding my hand tighter and walking quickly down the aisle we are on.
A girl wearing a red vest is stocking one of the shelves.
“Hmm,” Aiden says looking at the empty shelf. “It looks like they’re out.”
“Can I help…,” the girl says as she turns around but seems to utterly lose her train of thought when she sees Aiden.
Aiden smiles at her, and I fear we’ve lost her after that because her eyes look completely glazed over as if she’s just been placed into a trance and all she can do now is stare at Aiden with her mouth slightly ajar. I just pray she doesn’t start to drool on herself.
“Hi,” Aiden says, looking down at the nametag on her vest, “Jean. How are you doing this evening?”
Jean just nods at Aiden. Frankly, I’m surprised she’s retained even that limited motor function because it’s obvious she’s fully lost the ability to speak.
“Jean,” Aiden says, “this lovely lady and I really need a can of those toasted pecans that you put on ice cream sundaes. Would you happen to know if you have any in the back? Possibly needing to be stocked?”
Jean closes her mouth and the glazed look in her eyes fades a fraction.
She clears her throat and says, “I can go see.”
“We would really appreciate your doing that for us. Thank you, Jean.”
Jean practically runs to the back of the store. I’m not sure if she’s walking so fast because she wants to help Aiden out as quickly as possible or if she just wants to get back as soon as she can. Either way, I find myself immensely amused by her reaction.
“I take it you never had any trouble getting a date,” I tell Aiden.
Aiden looks down at me. “No, not really.”
He doesn’t say it in arrogance, just fact.
“And I suppose women rarely said no to you when you…wanted more than just a kiss from them?”
Aiden continues to look at me. His eyes are contemplative, like he’s wondering why I’m asking such a question. He finally decides whether to answer.
“I never heard no,” he tells me. Still, no arrogance, just fact.
“And your last time being with a woman was the day I first called you, right?” I ask.
“Yes,” he says with no hesitation, “why are
you asking me these questions, Caylin?”
I’m saved from answering his question by the out of breath return of Jean and our can of chopped roasted pecans.
“Here you go,” she tells Aiden holding out the can to him.
Aiden takes the offered can.
“Thank you, Jean. We truly appreciate your help.”
“Sure,” Jean says, smiling from ear to ear as she openly looks Aiden up and down. “Anytime. Anytime at all.”
Aiden turns me towards the front of the store where the cash registers are located.
He seems to be in a hurry because his pace is much faster than before.
He quickly pays the cashier and tells her to keep the change. Without bothering to conceal what he is, he phases us back to his home. Once there, he sets the can of chopped pecans on the kitchen island beside the other ingredients for our ice cream sundaes.
Aiden lets go of my hand and begins to take off his jacket and then his tie. He walks over to the dining table in the room and drapes both items on the back of a chair there. He turns around to face me and unbuttons the top three buttons of his shirt.
“Now,” he says looking at me with his hands on his hips and legs slightly spread apart, “why the questions back there? What is it that you really want to know, Caylin?”
The way he’s standing, and the way he just asked his question makes me feel like I probably shouldn’t have brought the subject up. But, the can of worms are open now and there really isn’t any putting them back in.
“I’ve been wondering if we should just go ahead and make love sooner rather than later,” I admit.
Aiden stares at me. He just stands there and stares at me hard without saying a word, without changing his facial expression.
I’m not sure he’s going to say anything until finally he asks, “Have I done something that would make you wonder such a thing? Have you felt any pressure from me at all that would make you think I expect that from you?”
“No,” I say, “you haven’t done anything.”
I see Aiden’s shoulders sag in relief after hearing my statement.
“Then, why are you even bringing it up?”
“Because you’re a man who is used to having sex with anyone he wants, anytime he wants. How long are you going to be satisfied with just kissing, Aiden? It’s already been a really long time since you had sex, and you told me how important it was to you in the past. I just don’t want you to think you have to find it somewhere else.”
Aiden continues to stare at me for a little while before closing his eyes and lowering his chin to his chest. He remains like that for quite a long time, and I worry that something’s wrong with him. He just stands there unmoving, not talking.
Finally, he lifts his head and opens his eyes to look at me.
My heart instantly aches against the walls of my chest because of the pain I see in his soul. His usually happy blue-green eyes are swimming with unshed tears as he looks at me.
“I’m sorry,” he says to me. “I’m sorry I’ve made you think you would ever have to give yourself to me like that just to keep me faithful to you. I guess I hoped you would trust me more than that.”
Now I’m the one who is stunned.
“I didn’t say that,” I tell him. “I never said I didn’t have any faith in you.”
“Yes,” he says in a whisper, “you did. Maybe not in so many words but that’s exactly what you’re thinking. You think that I’ll become so frustrated sexually that I’ll go find someone else to satisfy that need. I guess…I guess I hoped you would think better of me than that, Caylin.”
I take a step forward to go to Aiden but he puts up a hand to stop me.
“No,” he says, “we need to come to an understanding about this first.”
“Forget about what I said,” I beg. “Please, Aiden. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. I just thought…”
But I can’t finish my statement because it’s only now that I understand how stupid I was. How could I have thought I needed to have sex with Aiden to keep him? He’s right. That’s exactly what I was thinking. But that’s not what true love is built on. It isn’t centered on a base physical need. It’s founded on mutual respect and trust. And now the man I love thinks that I don’t trust him when he’s someone I have complete faith in.
“I’ve had sex, Caylin,” he says. “I’ve had a lot of it in my time. And yes, I admit, I want to make love to you. I want to bring you pleasure. I want to be the man who awakens that side of you. But, making love to you comes in a distant second to what I really want from you.”
“What do you want?” I ask breathlessly, on the verge of tears myself because I can’t stand the thought that I’ve made Aiden second-guess my love for him.
“I want you,” he says. “I want all of you, not just your body. I want to know you so well that I can silently finish your sentences in my head. I want to become a part of your soul that you can’t live without. I want you to know you can trust me with all that you are, and that I will always respect your thoughts and opinions. I want to be someone you can share your hopes and dreams with and not worry that I will ever ridicule any of them. I don’t just want to become your lover, Caylin. I want to become your best friend. I want to be the person you willingly share every aspect of your life with and not feel like you have to lose any part of yourself to do it. I thought we were heading in that direction but now I feel like we’ve just taken a giant leap backward.”
“Don’t say that,” I beg. “Please don’t even think that.”
“But you don’t trust me,” he says, wiping at his eyes with the back of one hand. “And I’m not sure how to fix that.”
“I do trust you,” I tell him openly crying now.
And then I think of something that will prove it.
I walk up to him and pull Jess’ bracelet off my wrist.
“Put this on,” I tell him, even though I see him shaking his head at me. “You made me use it. Now it’s your turn. Ask it to tell you how I feel. I did it when you asked me to do it. I think you owe me the same courtesy, Aiden.”
Aiden sighs and reluctantly holds out his right arm to me so I can put the bracelet on. I slip it onto his wrist and grab hold of his hand.
“Please,” I say to him, as I look him in the eyes, “please ask it to tell you how I really feel about you.”
Aiden stares down at me for a long while, as though he’s bracing himself for what he’s about to learn.
I know when he asks the bracelet how I really feel about him because his grip tightens on my hand.
I watch as his eyes widen in wonder. I know he feels how deeply ingrained inside my soul he already is. I can’t imagine my life being complete without him in it and sharing every aspect of me: mind, body, and soul. I want to be his best friend too. I know he’s had a hard life and all I want to be is his sanctuary. I want to be the one person in the world he can come to and just feel happy and safe with. And, I know he feels my faith in him to be the man I need by my side in sad times and in happy times. I trust him completely with all that I am.
“I trust you,” I tell him, making sure he understands that simple fact. “I’m so sorry I made you doubt that. I think I just let my own insecurities overrule my better judgment. I’m still mostly human, Aiden. I’m not nearly as perfect as you might want to make me out to be. I’m going to make boneheaded mistakes like this again. Not on purpose though, just remember that. And please, never doubt that I trust you completely. And never, ever doubt how much I love you.”
Aiden doesn’t say anything. He just pulls me into his arms and holds me.
“I don’t deserve the way you feel about me,” he says, tightening his hold on me. “But, I’ll take it.”
I hold him just as fiercely and sigh.
CHAPTER TWELVE
After we both pull ourselves together, I feel the tension between us has fade. I think Aiden is still a little hurt by what I did. But, by making him use the bracelet to feel the depths of my love
and trust in him, he seems to be slowly recovering.
After we make our ice cream sundaes, I sit on one of the stainless steel stools at the kitchen island while Aiden stands across from me on the other side.
A large glob of caramel is covering my spoon, and I pick it up and begin to suck on it to get the caramel off. My eyes just happen to wander to Aiden, and I see him staring at me as I work the spoon in and out of my mouth.
“What?” I finally ask, wiping at my mouth thinking I must have something on it to make him stare at me so intensely.
Aiden shakes his head and directs his gaze down to his ice cream sundae.
“Nothing,” he says.
“No, do I have caramel on my face or something? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t think I should say anything considering the conversation we just had.”
I admit. It takes me a few seconds to figure out what he’s talking about, but I finally do.
I feel my cheeks grow warm as I stab the spoon in the ice cream and pick up a large portion of the chocolate and stuff it into my mouth.
“This help break the image?” I ask in an ice cream muffled voice.
Aiden laughs. “Uh, yes, most definitely.”
I smile and swallow the ice cream in my mouth before I choke on it.
After we finish eating, Aiden tells me he has a new movie for us to watch in the living room. I happily follow him because I hope this becomes the promised part of the evening where a lot of kissing is supposed to happen.
I sit on the chaise lounge while Aiden finds the movie on his holographic TV. After it starts, Aiden lays on the lounge chair propping his back firmly against the back of it with one leg bent up and the other straight out. I sit beside him and he wraps his arms around me seeming content to just hold me while the movie starts.
I see the movie playing, but I have a hard time concentrating on what’s happening. I keep wondering when Aiden will make his move. A half an hour into the movie, he still hasn’t done anything, and I begin to wonder if he’s changed his mind about the way he saw this evening ending because of what I did earlier. I thought ‘watching a movie’ was just code for ‘hey, let’s go make out’.
