It took less than two seconds for me to sober up and soften up. "Oh, baby, I'm not going anywhere. Don't cry. I'll try to," I paused and forced the next words out, "act right."
Angel stepped back. "Will you?" she asked, sounding like she wanted to do some kind of pinky promise with me.
I nodded, then looked around. "All I need is another glass of wine."
Angel shook her head hard. "I don't think that's gonna help."
"Yeah, it will. I need it so that I can loosen up and get rid of all this stuff I'm feeling."
"Angel!"
We both turned at the sound of Caroline's voice, and I stared her down as she moved to where we were standing. Her gaze moved from Angel to me, then back to Angel. "What are you doing in here?"
"Nothing. I was just showing my mom the kitchen."
"Oh," Caroline said. Her eyes narrowed as she studied Angel. "Well, your father is looking for you. Daphne and her parents just arrived."
"Cool!" Angel turned to me. "Mom, you have got to meet my best friend, Daphne. Well, she's my best friend when I stay here, but you're gonna love her."
"Okay." I was glad to get away from Caroline because if I stayed with her for one moment, I didn't know what I'd do.
But just as I took a couple of steps, Caroline called my name.
When I turned around, she asked, "Can I talk to you?"
I moved back to her, and Angel did, too. "What do you want?" I wondered if she could hear it in my tone—that if she wanted a fight, she'd chosen the wrong one.
"Mom!" Angel called out, but to be honest, I wasn't sure which mom she was talking to.
Then together, Caroline and I said, "It's all right."
Still, my daughter didn't move.
"Go ahead," I told her, a little more forcefully. But I said it with such a wide smile, that Angel relaxed a little. "We'll be fine here," I added. "We're just gonna have a little talk."
Caroline gave Angel her own nod of assurance.
"Okay," Angel said softly. She began moving, walking backwards so that she could keep her eyes on us. Without saying a word, she pleaded with both of us, and with our smiles, we made promises to her.
But once Angel was out of our sight, it was on. All smiles were gone and there was no promise that I planned to keep.
"What was that out there?" Caroline asked, getting right to her point.
"That's what I should be asking you. It felt like you were trying to push me to the side, like I didn't matter."
At first, Caroline didn't speak, as if she were letting my words hang in the air. As if she were telling me those were my words, not hers, but…
Then she said, "This is our home, these are our friends, and I would appreciate it if you would take that into consideration the next time you open your mouth."
"Then stop trying to belittle me and embarrass me."
"What are you talking about? I was simply introducing Angel to the Petersons."
"Introducing her as if you were her mother. And that's what you need to understand." I got in Caroline's face. "Nothing will ever make you Angel's mother. She's my daughter, and you need to respect that; you need to respect me."
"Oh, the way you respected me when you slept with my husband? For all of those years?"
I pulled back a little. Was that what this was about? I gave her a half-chuckle. "Really, Caroline? You're still holding onto that?"
"Holding onto it? As if that were something small." Now she got in my face. "You slept with my husband, Asia. And I will never forgive you for that."
I have to admit, the venom in her voice made me back up a little. "So then, why did you invite me here?"
She didn't hesitate for a moment. "To remind you, Asia. To remind you of your place."
I frowned. My place?
Then, she broke it down for me. "I wanted you to see Bobby's life," she said with a smirk. "And to see that you would never fit in here."
Okay, this chick was bunny-rabbit-boiling crazy. "So you're saying that you still see me as a threat?" I laughed. "This is classic. Sweetie, I don't want your husband." I paused. "Though all this proves is that I could have him any time I wanted him."
Now, the truth was, I didn't believe that. From the moment Bobby had told me that our affair was over, he didn't even come close to giving me any signs that he still wanted me. But for some reason, this heffa wasn't so sure about her husband.
And I'd just scored a point, because the way her eyes darkened let me know that she was worried about Bobby. What was going on in their lives?
"All I want to do," Caroline began in that high-brow tone of hers, "is find a way to keep the peace for the rest of this evening."
"Okay, I'm down for that," I said with my arms still crossed. "We'll make it through tonight, and then you won't ever have to worry about me coming back."
She smiled as if I'd just made her very happy. "Well, in a few years, we won't have to worry about any contact. We only have a couple of years of co-parenting."
"You mean, Bobby and I only have a few more years," I corrected her.
Caroline smirked, "If that's the way you see it, then yes."
"And it's more than a few years. But you're right, once Angel graduates from high school, there won't be any reason for any of us to see each other."
Now Caroline's smile got so wide, I had to frown. "What?"
She turned her back on me…again, and started to walk away, but I caught her by her arm. Caroline looked down to where I held her, then her eyes slowly rose.
I released my grip, but not because I was afraid of her. I just wanted to know what had her grinnin' like that. "What? What did I say that you find so funny?"
Caroline pushed her shoulders back. "Okay, you want to know, Asia? We'll be out of your life sooner than you think."
When she didn't say anything more, I said, "Stop talking in circles. Just say what you have to say."
"All right. You and I won't have to see each other once Angel enters high school. Because she'll be going to school in New York. We're moving there…me, Bobby, and Angel."
"What?" I couldn't stop my eyes from blinking. All I was trying to do was understand her words.
"Yes, Angel will be able to pursue her modeling career and attend Performing Arts High School. And then, all of this stuff that goes on between us will be minimized. You won't have to deal with me, and I won't have to deal with you." It sounded like her last words gave her great pleasure.
"What are you talking about? Angel's not going to New York. She's not going anywhere with you."
This time when Caroline turned away, she didn't stop moving.
"I'm her mother!" I yelled out. "No matter what you try to do, I'm her mother!"
But Caroline never turned back, and seconds later, she was gone.
I just stood there, with all the clanging of pots and pans, dishes and glasses. But even though I heard all of that, Caroline's words, still ringing in my ears, were louder. What was she talking about? New York?
I thought about those people out there, the Petersons. They were from New York. Did they have anything to do with what Caroline was talking about?
But she and Bobby couldn't take Angel to New York. We shared custody; the court would never allow it. He couldn't just up and take her.
Then I thought about who Bobby was, the beloved ex-Laker who was now a real estate developer. He could probably pay off a judge.
Even if he did that, though, Angel wouldn't leave me…would she? In that moment, I thought of all of my daughter's dreams. How she wanted to model, and act, and dance, and sing. She didn't have to go to New York, though, to make that happen…did she?
Oh, god! I didn't know what this was about, but I didn't feel good. I was too weak to stand, so I just fell back onto the bench. As one of the waiters passed, I grabbed a glass from the tray, and in one gulp, I swallowed half the bubbly liquid and closed my eyes as it burned all the way down my throat.
But the champagne didn't make it any better. I hated to
admit it, but I could feel the fear boiling inside of me. It wasn't just fear alone. It was fear and truth.
And the truth was if Bobby wanted it, there might not be any way that I could stop him from taking Angel from me. Things like this were happening all the time. I saw it a lot on that TV show Snapped. That's why a lot of those women snapped!
Oh, god! I was gonna lose my little girl, and then what would I do?
Chapter 14
"Miss! Miss!"
They were calling out to me as I sauntered down the runway, crisscrossing one of my long legs in front of the other. I got to the end of the long stage, pivoted, and then saw—it wasn't my face.
Angel was the one who was strutting her stuff. Angel was the one they were calling and photographing. Angel was the model.
"Miss! Miss!"
And then, the earth moved. At least it felt like the earth at first, but it was mostly just my arm. I tried to pull my eyelids apart, but it felt like they were stuck together with Krazy Glue. With a moan and another push, I finally got my eyes opened.
"Miss! Ms. Johnson is serving dinner."
"What?" I said, looking up and into the face of an Asian woman who looked so familiar to me.
"Dinner," the woman said. "They're ready for everyone to take their seats in the tent out back, Miss."
Dinner? It took me a minute to even figure out where I was. It was Christmas…with Angel, Bobby…and Caroline.
As I sat up straight, I moaned. My butt hurt, and that's when I remembered where I was. Still in the kitchen. Sitting on this hard bench in the corner. And all around me, the staff rushed by, moving even faster now as if something big were about to happen.
What was I still doing in here? I closed my eyes and tried to remember. There was that exchange with Caroline and then the passing waiter who'd given me a glass of champagne. Right after that, I'd spotted my Asian friend, and she'd refilled my glass with the Moscato that I'd really wanted. Yes, she was the one who’d just woken me up.
But after that? Did I have another glass?
A flash of a memory hit me. No, I didn't have another glass; I'd asked my friend for the whole bottle! And there it was—the empty bottle of Moscato sitting in the middle of the table.
I pressed the tips of my fingers against my temples, trying to soften the throb. But the way my head ached was the least of my worries. If Angel saw me now, she would have no questions. She wouldn't have to ask—I was officially drunk.
I had to find my daughter, though, but when I stood up, it was only because I was holding onto the edge of the table that I didn't fall down. It took a few moments, but finally the world steadied, and I was able to step slowly through the kitchen into the hallway where a whole bunch of people walked by, moving toward the back of the house.
The walk from the kitchen to the hall had been long enough; I didn't have the energy to go staggering through the house looking for Angel. She'd just have to catch up with me in the backyard.
At the sliding glass doors, several men and women stood in matching tuxedos with clipboards in their hands.
"What's your name?" one of the women asked me.
"Uh…Asia Ingrum."
The woman scanned through the sheets she held. "You're at table sixteen."
If I'd had enough energy, I would've rolled my eyes. Really? Did it take all of this for a Christmas dinner?
I stepped onto the parquet platform that covered the grass and entered the humongous tent. I paused for a moment, taking in the Winter Wonderland that Bobby and Caroline had created: from the mini Christmas trees with glittering lights that stood in the corners of the tent, to the angels that floated above, it felt like Christmas in heaven.
At any other time, in any other place, I would've looked around and probably really liked this set up. But right now, all I wanted to do was find my table and sit down.
Of course, table sixteen was all the way on the other side of the room, and I had to stumble through the maze to get there. All of the noise—talking and laughing and music—was making my headache worse.
It felt like it took two forevers to get to that table, and when I slid down into that chair, I had to resist putting my head down, too. I really wanted to do that, but it would be too embarrassing for Angel if she came in here and found me that way.
All I had to do was suck it up for the next hour or two, and then I could go back to the wonderful world that was my home.
Then after I slept, I'd grill Angel on this New York mess Caroline told me about. Though to be honest, I was beginning to think that Caroline had made it all up. Yeah, it was a lie just to make me feel bad. And really, it had worked.
"Mom!"
Even with the way my head ached, I smiled as I spotted Angel bouncing across the room with two other girls behind her. My daughter glowed with happiness, and right then, I forgot about the rest of the day. Yeah, I'd been pretty miserable, wanting to get out of here a thousand times. But looking at Angel's face right now—this was what it was all about. Her joy, her Christmas. Anything for my daughter.
"Mom! I've been looking for you," Angel squealed.
"Well, you've found me," I said, glad that my daughter hadn't seen me just minutes before passed out in the kitchen.
Angel turned to her friends, "This is my mom. Mom, this is Daphne and Megan."
"Hi, Mrs. Johnson," the two girls said together.
"Oh, her name is not Mrs. Johnson." I looked up and wondered when Caroline had swooped down on her broom. "Her name is Ingrum," Caroline said as if that were a bad thing. Before I could curse her out, Caroline said, "Now, Angel, you won't be sitting here. You'll be sitting with me and your dad. Your friends are at this table."
"Mom, I want to sit with Daphne and Megan."
Sit with Daphne and Megan? I wanted to ask my daughter what about sitting with me—her mother. But my thoughts didn't stay long on that question because I was trying to figure out what Caroline had said. It didn't take me long. Especially when Daphne and Megan sat down. And then, two other girls joined us.
That was when I got it for sure.
I jumped up so fast, I knocked my chair over. I didn't bother to pick it up; my focus was on Caroline. As I stomped toward the table where Caroline was sitting with my child, every moment of this day replayed in my head, and I was so mad that it felt like I was on fire. By the time I got to the table, my fury had to be showing.
Leaning across the table, I put my finger in Caroline's face. "If it wasn't Christmas, I'd call you a son-of-a…"
"Mom!" Angel exclaimed, leaping from her chair.
"Asia!" Caroline's eyes were wide with innocence, though she knew what was up. I could see it in the way she was fighting to hold her laughter inside. "What's wrong with you?" she asked me.
"What's wrong? You know what's wrong, heffa!" I shouted. "You sat me at the kiddie table. I should be sitting up here with you…and my daughter."
"First of all, this table is for family—"
"Caroline!" Bobby yelled out as if he knew that wasn't the right thing to say to me.
But his wife ignored him. Caroline continued, "And secondly, I didn't sit you at the children's table. I sat you at the only open table. If you remember, you didn't tell us until yesterday that you were coming, and the seating plan was already completed."
"Well, you should've done it over, you trick!"
As gasps filled the room, Bobby grabbed ahold of me. "You don't want to do this," he whispered in my ear.
But I snatched my arm from his grasp. "You knew exactly what you were doing," I shouted. "You've been trying to embarrass me, trying to put me in my place ever since I got here. If it wasn't Christmas, I'd beat your—"
"Mom!" Angel grabbed my hand, but just like I did to Bobby, I jerked away from her. "No, you sit down and stay out of this, Angel. I need to tell this skank about herself."
"Mom," Angel cried, as she looked around at all the wide eyes that were on us. "You're embarrassing me."
It was the tears that had starte
d rolling down Angel's cheeks that made me pause, back up, and wobble away to my table.
I grabbed my purse, stepped over the fallen chair, and marched out of the room with as much dignity as my unsteady legs allowed. I should've done this a long time ago. Yeah, I was trying to stay for Angel, and I didn't want to spend Christmas at home, alone. But anything was going to be better than this.
"Mom!" I heard Angel crying behind me, but I couldn't stop.
That made me feel bad because I always wanted to comfort my daughter. But how could I comfort her when I needed someone to comfort me?
I could feel everyone staring at me, but do you think I cared? Not one of these bourgie snobs had said a single word to me today. So I didn't give a flying frig what they had to say now!
As I staggered from the backyard and into the house, I could still hear the cries of Angel. She didn't catch me, though. Not until I was almost at the front door.
"Mom, where are you going?"
"Home!"
"You can't," Angel said with tears crawling down her cheeks.
"You think I'm going to stay here?" I asked Angel. "Caroline doesn't want me here, and I can't believe that I let you and your father talk me into this. I'm going home!" I tried to take a few more steps. That's all I needed to get to the front door, but my world was swaying again.
"Mom, you can't drive."
I leaned against the wall. Angel had a point. But still, I had to get out of here.
"Okay, maybe this isn't the best time for me to be driving. I'll call a cab."
"Even if you can get a cab today, your car will still be here. How are you gonna get it home?"
I shook her head. It was a good thing that Angel was doing all the thinking right now.
"You can go up to my room," Angel said. "You can rest, and I'll stay there with you."
Rest! Oh, my god. That word sounded so wonderful. All I wanted to do was close my eyes, even for just a few minutes. That would be the best Christmas gift right now.
So when Angel took my hand and led me up the steps, I didn't protest at all. We had to move slowly, though; the winding staircase made me swoon. At the top, I felt like I was walking the longest mile, following Angel down the hallway. But finally, we stopped.
Merry Ex-Mas Page 12
