by Guy Estes
Aleena was running up out of the depression when the path slanted to a vertical angle and she slid back down. She felt the tears coming and buried her face in the snow, trying to shut out the mocking replica. She felt the reverberations of its footsteps as it approached her. Slowly, against her better judgment, Aleena turned and beheld her tormentor, who now stood a full eight feet high. Even as Aleena's heart sank at seeing this, she watched the duplicate grow another foot in height. Now standing ten feet tall and laughing at Aleena cowering in the snow at her feet, the duplicate sprouted two more arms. Aleena wished it all to go away. The replica only laughed, but most of the snow was gone. Aleena blinked at this. Then she felt enormous pressure around her torso and found herself in the replica's grasp. Two of her clawed hands held Aleena aloft in triumph. Aleena wished again for it all to end, but she remained within the replica's grasp. However, more snow disappeared, and a breeze picked up.
"You know," the replica said as she pulled Aleena close to her face, "this all could have been stopped moments ago, if only you'd had the courage to look upon the truth." Then she cast Aleena away. She sailed out of the depression and landed in a huge snow drift. Aleena did not know how to stop her giant nemesis, but the germ of a thought was taking root in her mind.
Yes, I did see her in the mirror during my rampage in the laboratory. That was what I looked like when those treatments merged with the Strength of the dragon.
The riddles in which the replica had spoken were beginning to take on some sort of order.
The predicaments she got me out of.
The lack of gratitude.
She has my memories.
She knows my thoughts. Yes! Every time I felt anger or fear or doubt she grew. She fed off that negative energy. She has my form, my thoughts, my sarcasm, even my sense of humor. She does things to me that I would do to an enemy, things to undermine his confidence or concentration. Suppose she speaks the truth? Suppose she is me? No, if that were true, I could not be here having these thoughts.
"Aleena!" Her duplicate thundered her name as she crashed through the trees towards her.
She sounds scared! And if she knows my thoughts, and what she hears frightens her...
"Aleena! I'm coming for you, Aleena! And when I get my hands on you I shall tear you limb from limb and eat you raw!"
Yes, she is definitely trying to break my line of thought. But if she cannot be me, she must be a part of me.
“Very good, Aleena,” a woman’s voice told her. It had all the power of the deepest sea, yet all the gentleness of a soft breeze.
Who said that? Aleena wondered if it was Donya, come to save her.
“No, Aleena. Donya is not required for this. Only you are. Does evil truly originate from demons? Do demons wage wars in your world and enslave innocent people?”
No, we wage the wars. We commit the depredations, just as my double said! If the evil can reside in others, it can reside in me, as well, for I am no different. Being Chosen does not erase human shortcomings. My double gained power every time I had a negative thought or feeling. Then she is the evil in me. She is the part of me that wants to dessert slaves and flaunt my gift. She is the part that wants to slay all rivals and revel in their blood. She is the anger, the hate, the selfishness, the arrogance, and the vanity. She is my temper. She is my gift. She is the Strength, and she is the treatment my captors gave me. And if that is true, than this place must be -
“Your own mind.”
Yes, the snow would disappear when I wished for things to get better. And if this is my mind, than you must be -
“You.”
Aleena extracted herself from the snow drift she'd landed in. She noticed that it was smaller than she'd thought. She heard her duplicate stomping towards her, then she saw her. Her four arms were pulling and snapping trees out of her way as if they were mere weeds. Aleena saw her glowing eyes dim as doubt and trepidation crept in. She was not as tall as she had been. Aleena felt the total relief of one who has vomited out sickness. This strange and chaotic place was no longer strange and chaotic. It now made perfect sense. Even as she experienced this emotion her replica seemed to shrink, but so did Aleena's surroundings.
She's not coming back down to my size. I am going up to hers.
The duplicate screamed a horrible wail as Aleena's eyes drew even with her own, then passed them.
"No!" Aleena's shadow side screeched. "You can't do this! You mustn't do this! I must come out! I can stand my prison no longer!"
Aleena looked down at her as she fell lower and lower in Aleena's gaze. She stopped only when Aleena was six time her replica's size. Her dark side's head did not quite reach Aleena's knee. Aleena reached down and picked the screaming woman up.
"You godsdamned bitch," the four-armed duplicate raged as it struggled in her hands. "Why did you have to be so damned smart? Why couldn't you have given up and surrendered to me!"
Aleena saw that her captive, once a fearsome and omnipotent enemy, was weeping and on the brink of hysterics. Aleena was surprised to see that she felt pity for her.
What shall I do with her? I cannot be rid of her. She is my gift, an integral part of me, and she did speak the truth. The energy she gave me enabled me to overcome my foes. If it weren't for the Strength of the dragon, I never would have bested some of them. I cannot destroy her, for she is a vital part of me. What Nevawn is to Donya, this woman is to me.
“Give her what you have denied her.”
It took a moment or two, but then it dawned on her. She slowly drew her shadow side to her breast and held it there, as securely as she would an infant.
"What are you doing?" it raged. "Trying to suffocate me with your tits? I'll bit them off and spit them in your face, you righteous bitch! Put me down! I'll never go back to my prison!"
"I do not wish to imprison you. I wish to live with you. I wish to accept you and love you."
"Love," she spat. "Ha! What use have I for love?"
"The same use I have for you. We cannot exist without each other, for we each have our place. We each serve a purpose. You need me as much as I need you. Without that balance, we will both perish."
Aleena raised her captive to her face and gently kissed her on her forehead. She instantly felt opposite emotions at the same time. She longed to feel her blade hacking flesh while longing to kiss a total stranger for no other reason than to brighten his day. Rage and hate was matched by peace and love. Aleena felt her shadow flow out of her hands and into her soul, and she felt the gratitude and love of an outcast child accepted by her mother alongside strength and confidence of a dragon perched on her mountaintop during a raging storm. She stretched her arms and back, taking a deep breath and a long look at her surroundings.
Standing at her current height, she was able to see much farther than she had been. She detected a beauty in the land she had not seen before. A short distance away stood mountains composed entirely of ice, their blue depths glinting and winking like immense diamonds. Light from an unknown source reflected off thousands of varying facets of the great formations. It was strange, she thought, how a substance as mundane as water could form objects of such breathtaking majesty. In a different direction lay open meadows of pure snow, their gentle hills undulating like the folds of Donya's robe. The cold wind no longer bit into Aleena's bones. Instead, it felt crisp and pure, cleansing and refreshing her spirit, making her feel like she was standing under a cold waterfall after a long, sweltering day of unrelenting work.
Aleena closed her eyes and breathed deeply for several moments, drinking in the cleansing air. When she opened her eyes, she saw that the countryside was no longer a pristine winter wilderness. It had become a bright meadow surrounded by lush forest, the greenery haloed by a golden-white aura. Aleena stretched her lithe body once more and lay down on grass like a velvet quilt. She took one more deep breath and closed her eyes, her spirit already heavy with a satisfying fatigue. As she drifted off to sleep, her last thoug
ht was, When I get home, I must have Mother make this dress for me.
CHAPTER 16
“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” – Helen Keller
“The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.” – Ayn Rand
Aleena awoke inside a cell. Her body felt as if a catapult had slammed it against a castle wall, and her skull felt like a horse stall that hadn’t been shoveled out in months, but her spirit felt strangely exuberant. Marcus stood outside her cell, regarding her with distaste and disappointment, shaking his head.
"Now what am I supposed to do with you, my treacherous little vixen? You refused to fight under normal circumstances, and when we conditioned you to, you fought us instead of the other gladiators. You have slain all but the most ignorant of my scholars and destroyed all of their records, along with the entire laboratory! It will be ages before I can start making beast men. Tell me, how did you resist our conditioning?"
"I didn't."
"What do you mean?"
"Your conditioning had taken full effect. All I did was use it on the ones who I felt were the most deserving."
"But it appears to have left you entirely. How did you manage that?"
"I adapted."
"To the treatments?"
"To myself."
Marcus looked confused, then shook his head. "Well, to my original question: what am I to do with you? I cannot make you fight, and I shudder to think what would happen if I tried to force you to bed. What else is there?"
"Death or freedom."
"I think you realize that I cannot just let you walk out of here. Were I to do that, everyone else would begin to get the same idea and I would quickly go out of business."
Aleena told him what he could do with his business. He laughed, and Aleena felt her dark aspect’s influence within her. She fought off the urge to reach through the bars and grab his shirt and slam his face into the cage.
"No, my dear," he said. "I'm afraid I can do nothing with you except feed you to the dogs at tomorrow's games. I was hoping for so much more. You would’ve been the most spectacular gladiatrix we’ve ever seen. It seems a shame to render such gorgeous flesh into dog meat, but you have no one to blame for it but yourself. Farewell, my dear."
The games got underway the next day, and the first part of them involved the gladiator failures being fed to the animals. Various carnivores were employed, but the most loathsome were the pack hunters. They did not kill their prey as quickly as the other animals would. They tended to drag things out. Indeed, their prey was often still alive as they began to feed on the vitals.
Aleena had long since come to grips with her own demise, but she refused to watch the others die. When her turn finally came, she walked out into the arena, tall and proud, to stand in its center with the calm poise of a queen. In addition to being prepared for death, she had spent some time last night thinking of a possible escape from the dogs' bellies. She accepted death, but she certainly did not welcome it with open arms. She still wanted to go home.
She had remembered a joke among the fishermen on the coast of the Primean Ocean just west of her home.
"Fear not the sharks, for they do not wish to hurt you. They only wish to eat you."
Dogs are predators and, contrary to popular belief, predators do not want to fight. They want to eat. Grazing animals have the luxury of their food being rooted to the spot and ready for the taking. Predators had to hunt their meals down and kill them, using only teeth and claws. They expended much energy to ingest a little. This was what all the naturalists and her education said. She was gambling that hunger would take precedence over everything else. They would rather eat than fight. They preferred taking energy in to putting it out.
Aleena stood loose and relaxed. No matter what happened, she supposed, she would be free. A gate opened on the far side of the arena wall, and the dogs came. Aleena cleared her mind of conscious thought, merging with her environment. She took slow, deep breaths to center her spirit and channel her strength, for she would need it. They were good-sized beasts. The crowd had fallen silent, enthralled. Rarely had anyone tried to stand up to the animals, but this girl was different from those suicidal few. They could not name the quality that set her apart, but they all saw it.
Aleena stood stock-still, waiting. Even though the distance between her and the gate through which they'd come was great, the dogs were already almost upon her. She continued to breathe, relaxed but focused. The lead hound was upon her, then, leaped for her throat. Aleena's hands shot out, quicker than thought, and latched onto its neck. She then sidestepped, letting the brute's momentum carry him past her as she hung onto its neck. Its head remained stationary, but its body continued on its way, and the neck became the fulcrum of the resulting pendulum effect, giving Aleena the leverage she needed to snap its vertebrae and kill it. She spun with the dog's motion and threw the body to its comrades, who were opening their mouths to sink their teeth into Aleena's legs. They stopped, surprised and wary. She had just given them an excellent argument for leaving her alone. At the same time, she fed them. They ate their former leader with relish. Aleena backed a few paces away so they would not be able to come upon her quickly, then she sat down so as to not appear threatening.
The crowd was stunned. No one had ever pulled that off before. No one had even tried it, and yet it was so simple. Some of them laughed, some cheered, but few showed displeasure. This girl was sharp. She had coolly taken on insane odds and won. Or had she? Two of the dogs had only gotten mouthfuls. They were still hungry, and they cast their yellow eyes at Aleena.
She stood, preparing for another attack. This time she knew she would have to take them both, and there was no way she could do that without shedding some of her own blood, but she remained calm. Hysteria never saved anybody. The dogs circled her, one on each side, and they soon had her outflanked. Aleena had to admire the clever bastards. Their cunning was almost human.
The crowd was roaring again. The crafty vixen had cheated death one time, but she would not escape now. No one could take on the combined might of two vicious mastiffs. They leaped at her, one lunging low and the other high. Aleena twisted out from between them and grabbed the one who'd gone high before his paws touched the ground. Aleena lifted him high, then brought his back down upon her rising knee as if he were kindling and broke his spine. This did not kill the dog, but he no longer posed a threat. All he could do was pull himself through the sand with his front legs, his unresponsive hindquarters dragging behind him, but then the other was upon her, its teeth digging into her thigh. Aleena jabbed her thumb into its eye. She succeeded in getting it to release her leg, but it instantly engulfed her left hand. She could not overcome the terrific strength of those jaws, and her hand was seconds away from being splintered. She did the one thing she knew it would never expect of its prey – she shoved her arm down its throat. The hound tried to withdraw, backing away and shaking its head back and forth, but now it was Aleena who refused to let go.
"You wanted me, you miserable cur,” she snarled through gritted teeth, her free arm wrapped around the dog’s body, “well now you've got me!"
Aleena stayed with it until it had choked to death. Those dogs that remained were well fed and posed no threat. They growled at her, and she slowly backed away from them, showing them that they had nothing to fear from her.
The crowd went wild. They had all heard tales of gladiators slaying animals in this fashion, but none of them had ever actually witnessed it. What had started out as a simple feeding was turning into the best exhibition of the day. What was in store for them next?
Aleena did not want to know, but she found out as she was examining her wounded hand and thigh. The damage was more painful and ugly than serious, but that would mean nothing to the lion that had just padded out into the arena. He was a big male with a
thick mane that rendered his neck invulnerable. Aleena saw no way that she could kill him. Perhaps she could somehow get on his back and wrap her arms around his neck and strangle him, but such tactics were more theoretical than practical. Even half-starved, a lion is a tremendously powerful beast. She considered intimidating him, but that depended on how much they'd starved him. Extreme hunger always took precedence over fear, and judging by how visible his ribs were, Aleena decided that scare tactics were out. All that would do was anger him.
Or, she thought as she cast a speculative glance at the dogs, I could feed him, too.
The big cat was walking straight towards her, taking his time. Aleena eased herself in the dogs' direction. The first one she'd killed was already reduced to a glistening skeleton, and the survivors had been called out of the arena by their trainer when the lion was released. That left the last two she'd dealt with. One was crippled and the other was dead, and both of them were untouched. The lion followed her, and as soon as she judged him close enough, she grabbed the dead one and tossed it towards him. She could see the lion weighing his options. While he was mulling things over, Aleena tossed him the yelping crippled dog. The lion could either expend valuable energy to bring down the animal farthest from him, or he could get twice as much meat with no effort at all from the animals closest to him. He ignored Aleena and padded over to the dogs. Aleena let her breath out and walked to the nearest gate. She knew Marcus would want to talk to her. He would not wish to lose any more animals.
* * *
"All right, my dear, would you mind explaining to me just what the bloody hell is going on in that pretty little head of yours?"
Aleena was in Marcus' office again, the four customary guards around her. The games were still in full swing, the roar of the crowd washing through the room's open windows.
"I don’t know what you mean."
"Enough games," he yelled, his fine veneer finally giving way to his underlying evil. The guards tried not to nervously shift their weight. They had never seen anyone irritate (and perhaps intimidate) Marcus to the point that he lost his composure. Marcus went on.
