The night was still, the lake smooth, the sky as clear and crisp as it had been all day. She ambled along, picking a few forget-me-nots, which she wound in her hair as she wandered along the shore.
This was her native soil. Her nomadic ancestors had migrated across this land for thousands of years, taking advantage of the caribou, the moose, and the mighty salmon, and giving back to the spirit gods in thanks for their bounty. She lay on the sand, leaned against a weather-worn log, stretched out her legs, and closed her eyes as she took in the sounds and smells of her homeland.
The fast growth of plants and flowers during the long summer days gave a spicy sweetness to the air as winter had finally shed its heavy cloak. Something small rustled in the bushes, but it didn’t concern her. Probably a fox or porcupine. The loons called to each other again, followed by the cooing of a pair of chickadees high within the birch trees.
A new smell joined the mix, faint on wood smoke, sharp on pine, and heavy on musk.
Man.
She opened her eyes and looked straight into Gage’s.
Gage had ventured toward the lake to wash up after the long day. Though he hadn’t lingered in the glacial-fed water. He was headed back when he’d come around a bend and found her.
Tern.
The woman who haunted him. Kept him up more nights than he wanted to admit.
Reclined against a log, bleached white from the elements, her long legs were stretched out in front of her, ankles crossed. Her face lifted to the heavens, thick dark hair, the color of raven’s wings with hints of fire within its depths, fell behind her. A serene smile played upon her lips as though she were the keeper of secrets. Her exotic almond-shaped eyes were closed. Her left brow bisected with a scar that she’d received as a child, gave her a rakish appearance that was damn right challenging.
He should leave, now before she realized he was here, but he couldn’t move as he drank her in.
Christ, he craved her.
He’d purposely stayed away all these months. Though at the moment, he couldn’t remember why. Not when he wanted to sink to his knees, gather her up into his arms, and bury his face in her hair. Hair that smelled of fireweed and rosehips and drove him to distraction.
The taste he’d had of her this afternoon had only left him starving for more. He should give up on this game and think seriously of hiking his way out of here. But ‘here’ was so far away from any part of Alaska that he’d ever been to, and it could be weeks before he stumbled upon another human being.
He was stuck. Stuck with Tern. And stuck with the other men who had been important in her life. Maybe still were. The thought twisted his insides.
Tern opened her eyes and looked directly at him. A sharp stab of desire stole his breath. She’d always had this otherworldly sense about her that had sometimes freaked him out. Like now. She didn’t blink, didn’t act surprised to see him standing there staring down at her. It was like she’d known he was there before she opened her eyes.
“Gage,” she greeted him in that sexy come-and-get-me voice. It had undertones that sent blood pulsing to his nether regions. Just like that first time he’d seen her. She’d been behind the counter in her shop, head down, a black curtain of hair covering her face as she’d studied an invoice or something. Then she’d raised her head and looked straight at him, welcomed him into her world, and he’d fallen right then and there.
Shit, he wasn’t strong enough to resist her tonight after fighting off her allure all day. “I thought you went to bed,” he said, the statement coming out like an accusation.
“Nope.”
Just the one word. Those mystical eyes of hers toured his body, from his damp hair, probably still in spikes from being rubbed dry with the towel hanging loose in his hand, to the clean clothes he’d donned after his cold dip. He sure as hell didn’t feel the effects of the cold now. He was back to the state of arousal that had drained the smarts out of his brain all day.
“What the hell do you want from me?” he snapped.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing? It didn’t feel like ‘nothing’ on the glacier when you taunted me.”
“Whatever.” She had the audacity to yawn.
“Am I boring you?”
“Yes.” She stretched and rolled to her feet in a movement so sensual that it had him clenching his hands on his towel to help remind him to keep them off her.
He wanted to throw down his towel, grab her, and then he’d—
Oh, hell, what was he doing? After all the time he’d forced himself to stay away, worked to get her out of his system, how did she still get to him so easily?
“You left, Gage. We’re over.” She swept a strand of hair from her face, and he had the feeling that she’d like to sweep him away just as easily. “So what do you want?”
He didn’t know what he wanted and that had his temper spiking. “Someone else already warming your bed, sweetheart?” He should shut up and leave. “You sure don’t waste a lot of time, do you?”
“Fuck you, Fallon.” Hot color slashed across her sharp cheekbones. She moved to brush past him, and he reached out and seized her arm.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean that.”
She stared at him, stared right through to his soul. “Yes, you did.” She glanced down at his hand shackled around her forearm. “Let go.”
He tightened his hold and she must have read his intent for she said, “I’m not yours to grab any longer.”
Frustration ate at him. He wanted to haul her into his arms, kiss away that shuttered look that his angry words had caused to fall. But then to invite her back into his life, when he’d purposely done everything he could to kick her out of it, would undermine the last six months of hell.
He slowly released her, while her bewitching eyes took in more than he wanted her to see.
“For the record,” she said, “we aren’t together. What I do with my life and who I have sex with is none of your business. You chose to walk away. Now stay away.” She gave him one last long stare before giving him her back.
Watching her stride away from him, knowing that he’d severed his chances with her, should have reassured him, but it made that hole in his chest where his heart had been ache in a way no bandage would ease.
No woman made him ache like Tern had, did. He’d never had a relationship, that wasn’t made clear upfront, this was casual, no expectations. Yet each time he’d tried to convey that to Tern he couldn’t get the words past his lips as they seemed like lies. He wasn’t proud that he’d let their involvement go until the situation in his own life forced his hand. But he could have called, explained, rather than not do anything.
Had he made the right choices six months ago? Or had he royally fucked up his life?
Tern entered her cabin to find Robert waiting for her.
What the hell was this? Old lovers’ week?
“What do you want, Robert?” She tossed her jacket onto her bunk. Robert had made himself comfortable on Nadia’s cot while he’d waited for her.
“What’s going on between you and Fallon? I thought that was over.”
“None of your damn business.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Listen, Tern. You know how much I care about you. Hell, I asked you to marry me. I still want that.”
“Stop right there.” She held her hand up. “We’ve been over this. I’m not the right woman for you, and waiting around for me to change my mind isn’t going to happen.”
“We were good for each other.” He stood and reached for her, his hands gripping her shoulders. “I know you want a family. Chloe loves you. You know I’d love to have more children with you as their mother.”
The mention of his six-year-old daughter had her softening her tone. “I love Chloe too. You know that. I’m there for her. But marriage between us wouldn’t work, Robert.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t want to rehash this.” Why, oh why, had she gotten on that damn plane?
She saw his in
tention but didn’t stop the kiss. He tried to coax a physical response from her, but it wasn’t there. He tightened his hold on her shoulders, until his fingers bit into her skin, and pressed his body against hers.
“Damn it, Tern.” He groaned. “Why can’t you care for me?”
Regret for what wasn’t there had her framing his face with her hands. “I’m sorry, Robert. I can’t force feelings that aren’t there.”
He dropped his forehead to rest against hers. “But I love you.”
“No, you don’t,” she said gently. “You love the thought of us. You’ve got to let it go.”
He sighed heavily. “It’s Fallon, isn’t it? You’re in love with him.”
She stiffened and moved out of his arms. “No.”
He gave a bark of laughter that held no humor. “You’re in the same place I am, aren’t you?” He rubbed the back of his neck again, a habit of his that she used to find endearing. “It sucks to be here.”
“You’ve nailed it.”
He shook his head. “We make so much sense together.”
“I know, but you can’t force what isn’t there.”
“I’m not giving up.” His eyes met hers, and he hardened his jaw. “Get Fallon out of your system.”
Oh, hell. “Don’t wait for me, Robert. You need to look elsewhere.”
He opened his mouth to object when the door burst open. Nadia fell in looking flushed and clearly used, a smile of supreme satisfaction on her face. “Oh, sorry.” She turned back to look at the door. “You’re supposed to hang something on the knob when you’re entertaining.”
“Robert was just leaving.” Tern tried to stamp down the jealousy poking at her over Nadia’s satisfied expression. Since she’d been with Lucky, herself, she knew firsthand how Nadia felt. Maybe she should have taken Gage by the lake shore. Use and abuse him like Nadia planned with Lucky. Though with Tern, since she still cared more than she wanted to admit for the jerk, she’d be the one who ended up used and abused.
Robert glanced between the women, offered a mumbled, “goodnight,” and left the small cabin that had gotten considerably smaller with the three of them crowding it. The door closed quietly behind him.
Nadia waited a few beats, giving Robert time to walk out of hearing distance before she whispered, “What the hell is going on? I thought for sure you’d give Gage another run before Robert.”
“No one is getting ‘another run.’ They’re all history.” She gestured wide with her arms to include all the men in camp. “I’m off men.”
“Okay, then.” Nadia cocked a knowing brow. “Finally want to try experimenting with women?”
Tern threw a pillow at her, and Nadia giggled. The sound was carefree, making that jealousy monster snap its teeth.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me how focused Lucky was? Man, he had me screaming to the heavens more than once.” Nadia changed into her silk pajamas.
In the mood Tern was in, the last thing she wanted to talk about was how great Lucky had been in the sack. It had been too long since she’d screamed to the heavens herself. “Don’t get too invested in him. I don’t want to see you hurt.”
A shutter passed over Nadia’s eyes. “What makes you think he’d be the one to hurt me?”
“He isn’t in it for the long haul.”
“Maybe neither am I.”
Tern wisely held her tongue. Every relationship Nadia had entered into had been with wedding bells ringing in the background. She didn’t do causal. If anything, she was so committed to the men that they ran off scared. “Just be careful, okay?”
“Don’t worry so much. Besides, if one of us needs to worry, it’s you. What was Robert doing in here?”
“I don’t want to get into it.”
“What about Gage? How was the trek up the glacier today?”
“Cold.” No point in adding the searing kiss they’d shared on that piece of ice. “Let’s try and get some sleep. It’s been a long day.”
But when she was zipped up into her sleeping bag, sleep was the last thing coming her way. Silence settled over the camp, and all that could be heard was the repeating ‘who-who’ of an owl.
She wished she had an answer.
CHAPTER FOUR
Tern was the first one awake the next morning. She’d given up the pretense of sleeping and silently snuck out of the cabin in the wee hours of the morning and crept back down toward the lake to wash. When she’d been there the night before, she’d caught a whiff of sulfur and decided to investigate. Sure enough, a half mile or so west of the lake was a pocket of hot springs. The interior of Alaska was pitted with thermal activity. She tested the water for heat with a long stem of pootschki—a member of the parsnip family which made an okay celery substitute in soups and stews. Stripping off her clothes, she slowly waded into water just this side of scorching. It was heaven to relax and let the heat burn off the stress and unrest of the day before. When she started to feel like her insides were beginning to boil, she quickly washed, dressed, and hiked back to camp with renewed energy.
Mac was already up as she knew he’d be. The man might be older than the rest of them, but that didn’t mean anyone was going to get the jump on him.
“Morning,” she greeted.
He paused in pouring a cup of coffee, the strong, dark smell enticing her closer. “How do you do it?” he asked.
She raised her brow in question.
“Look so fresh and inviting all the way out here?”
“Like I’m going to give away my secrets. You don’t look too bad yourself.” She admired his rugged appearance—salt-and-pepper hair in a military cut, fresh stubble soon to be a beard, and laugh lines crinkling around steel-gray eyes. Not many men could roll out of a cot and look as sexy as he did in the morning.
She took the cup of coffee he poured her, reaching for the sugar and evaporated milk he’d set out for those who needed to dilute the strong brew. “How’d you sleep?” she asked.
“I’ve had better nights. Doesn’t help that Robert is mooning over you. Damn, gal, does every man fall under your spell?”
Gage obviously hadn’t. She ignored the question and asked one instead, “Why the rough night?”
“Something doesn’t feel right about this setup. I can’t place my finger on it. But I’m uneasy.” He sipped his black coffee.
Gage had said almost the same thing yesterday. She took a sip of her coffee and held back the wince as the bitter concoction hit the back of her throat and burned its way down into her unsuspecting stomach. One cup of Mac’s coffee would erase her sleepless night. “How so?”
“Do you realize how easy this situation can turn into a survival game?”
“Anywhere you go in Alaska can turn into a survival game.”
“True, but I think we might be tested more than we signed up for.” He sipped his coffee again. “It’s too much of a coincidence, all these men and you as the common dominator. You know what I think of coincidences.”
“Yeah, but I did introduce all of you to geocaching.”
“I want to know who the mystery person is behind this expedition. He clearly knows all of us. Or at least you. Any ideas?”
“Not a one. I’ve racked my brain.”
“Might want to rack it again.”
“I’ll do that.”
Mac took a deep sip of his coffee. “Seriously, are these idiots really in your level of found caches? Besides, me, of course.”
She bit back a smile. “Lucky, definitely. Gage can hold his own against you, but he falls short of me.” In many ways, it seemed. “Nadia and Robert I’d still consider amateurs, but you didn’t hear me say that.”
Mac nodded as though he’d already come to the same conclusions. “You have any enemies?”
She scoffed. “Are you serious?”
“As a rutting moose.” His piercing steel eyes met hers and had her sobering fast.
She swallowed and put aside the coffee, her stomach suddenly pitchy. “No, Mac. Not that I know of
.”
“Rack your brain for that too.” He refilled his cup. “Like I said, something doesn’t feel right.”
The rest of the group eventually woke, sauntering toward the fire pit looking for coffee and something to eat. Mac rehydrated eggs with boiled water from the lake and scrambled a pan’s worth, adding in cheese and cubes of steak. Tern dug up some Hedysarum alpinum, better known as Eskimo potatoes, boiled and served them with the steak and eggs, and made a poor man’s biscuit out of the flour.
Gage silently studied her under his brows, while Robert tried to engage her in conversation. She ignored them both. Robert eventually wandered off toward the lake, but Gage continued his scrutiny. Lucky and Nadia were cozy as doves while they ate, and Tern felt a pang every time she looked at them. It hadn’t been long ago that she’d had that kind of connection with a man. And no matter how many times she told herself different, she still wanted Gage. Wanted that intimacy they’d shared, the rapport, the promised future. The reality of it pissed her off and had her scouring the pan until its reflection had the power to blind someone.
Mac came up behind her after everyone had taken off to do whatever they needed to do to get ready for the day. “Woman, you’d better figure out what you’re going to do about him.”
“Shit. You’re kidding me.”
“Yep, pretty damn obvious.” He gave her a pathetic look. “Give me that pan before you scrub a hole in it.” He took it out of her hands. “Take a walk. Shake it off.” Mac glanced at his watch. “Meet back here in thirty.”
“You running a drill camp here?”
“All you nitwits would be lost without me.” He smiled and ruffled her hair. “Now, get.”
“Yes, sir.” She saluted.
“Smartass.”
Laughing and feeling more herself, Tern gladly handed KP duty over to Mac.
Since Robert had ventured toward the lake, and she didn’t want a repeat of last night, she headed for the hills. Mac’s comment yesterday of her being more mountain goat than human wasn’t all in jest. It was one of the things that had attracted her to Lucky Leroy. He’d shown her some amazing views in the time they’d spent together. Why couldn’t she have been satisfied with him and what he offered? Life would have been one wild ride. But then she knew herself well enough to know she was too set in her ways. She wanted roots, family, and someday grandkids to tell tall tales to.
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