by J. H. Croix
My panties were drenched and my breath came in rough gasps. I broke free and stumbled away from him. My gaze swung wildly to the back doorway to see a cluster of people I didn’t recognize entering. Thank God. The chances it could be someone I knew were high. I’d been born and raised in Willow Brook and knew most everyone local. But it was early spring, and the tourists were already crowding into town.
The group filed down the hallway between Ward and I. His eyes never left mine, my gaze drawn back to his like a magnet. The force of his gaze was so powerful, it felt as if he were actually touching me. After the customers made their way past us, their footsteps echoing on the hardwood floor and the sounds from the bar filtering into the hallway, he reached across the space between us again, catching my hand and reeling me close.
My brain tried to fire off a thought. But it was as if all of the signals were crossed, haywire in the heat of the desire between us. Flush against him again, my nipples tight, need pounding inside of me, and my breath barely under control, I couldn’t manage a word.
“Let’s go,” he said, his gruff voice sending a prickle down my spine.
I nodded wordlessly. He turned, my hand held tight in his. I suddenly remembered what it felt like to be held by him—beyond the pounding need, there was more. This man, so handsome, so sexy he was dangerous, somehow made me feel safe. Though there was a distance to him, a wall I didn’t know how to scale, I felt safer with him than I’d ever felt with anyone in my life.
Chapter Three
Susannah
One month later
The little blue line stared at me, distinct and clear. There were three of them sitting in front of me on the bathroom counter. Three blue lines, all telling me the same thing. I had a fourth pregnancy test with me. Maybe I was crazy, but I wanted to be sure. Plus, I liked the number four. It was nice and even. I pulled the last test out of the box. With my heart pounding and anxiety spinning through me, I was almost sweating. I squatted over the toilet again—another undignified moment where I tried to direct my pee onto the little plastic stick.
Tugging my underwear and leggings up again, I looked at the test immediately, watching as the distinct blue line appeared. I still couldn’t quite absorb the fact that I now had four drug store pregnancy tests telling me I was pregnant. My mind tumbled wildly, thoughts racing every which way, as I scrambled to make sense of this.
I can’t be pregnant. This has to be a mistake.
Just go to the doctor, and you’ll find out it’s some weird fluke.
My mind lobbed these points back and forth, but my gut instinct was reacting otherwise. I was never late for my period, but I was over a week late now. How the hell could I have gotten pregnant? I thought back to that night with Ward, just over a month ago. We had used a condom every time.
I flushed hot all over, just thinking about it now. Because that night had merely served to trump my other night with Ward. Over the four years that passed since the first night with him, I tried to convince myself my memories were exaggerated, that sex with him hadn’t been that amazing.
My memories hadn’t done the first night justice. Sex with Ward was a sensual feast. The entire night was a blur of sensation. We couldn’t get enough of each other. Oh. My. God. He was insanely good in bed, a shattering mix of rough, demanding and gentle. If you had asked me before if I would’ve liked a man to take control the way he did, I would’ve laughed the idea off. Ward melted me, inside and out.
I forced my mind off this train of thought. I didn’t need to recall how hot I was for Ward. Most definitely not. Not when I was facing a rather shocking reality. I was absolutely positive we’d used a condom every time, but I had four pregnancy tests with damning blue lines on the bathroom counter. I sat down on the toilet, tunneling my hands through my hair with a sigh.
I would go to the doctor to be absolutely certain. Yet, the evidence was fairly clear. I was almost one hundred percent certain I was pregnant, and Ward was the father.
Restless, I stood quickly, striding out of my bathroom to a small desk in the corner of the living room. Opening my laptop, I inanely searched can you get pregnant with a condom?
Great, just great. According to my trusty Internet search, even if we’d used every condom perfectly every time, there was still a two-percent chance of pregnancy. The overall statistic was even more sobering. In real life, condoms were effective a lowly eighty-five percent of the time. Because real life translated to how well people paid attention to detail when they were so hot for each other, they were practically on fire.
With a slow sigh, I closed my laptop and leaned back in my chair. I idly glanced around. I loved my small home. My father had helped me build it a few years back. My family owned lots of land in and around Willow Brook. My place was on a lovely few acres not too far from my parents’ home. My father and I had built a cute A-frame cabin for me with decks on both floors. The downstairs living room area was bright and airy with windows comprising the entire front wall and overlooking a field with a view of Swan Lake in the distance.
The kitchen was toward the back of the downstairs with a bathroom and laundry off to one side. Upstairs, there was a loft with two bedrooms and a bathroom. The space was bright and open with modern, clean lines. I wanted a dog, but I kept holding off because I felt like my lifestyle didn’t fit a dog very well. As a hotshot firefighter, I was gone for weeks at a time during the summer months.
All of a sudden, my mind skipped from a dog to a baby. The first thought that passed through my mind was relief I had two bedrooms because there would be a room for the baby. My thoughts came to a screeching halt, so screeching it was a miracle I didn’t get whiplash from the force of it.
What the hell was I thinking? Was I seriously thinking about actually having a baby?
Apparently, I was. The gravity of my situation slammed into me, and I lost my breath for a moment. I would go to the doctor to be absolutely certain, but four pregnancy tests were shouting the answer loud and clear—I was pregnant.
I knew without a doubt that Ward didn’t expect this. We had used protection every time. That night was just supposed to be one night, and then we’d forget about it. The following morning he had made me coffee, and the mood had been relaxed and easy. Somehow, I’d convinced myself we’d carry on without a hiccup. We’d even been all adult about it.
I’d said, “So when you get back, we forget this ever happened right?”
His silver gray eyes flashed. “Of course.”
Now I was pregnant, and he was due back tomorrow. This was a colossal mess.
Chapter Four
Ward
“Here ya go,” Rex Masters said as he handed me a cup of coffee.
I took a quick sip, savoring the flavor. “Thank you,” I said with a nod.
Rex rounded his desk, gesturing towards the chair across from it as he sat down. I slipped into the chair, leaning back and shifting my shoulders to ease the tension that had been bundled there for the past month straight.
I’d buried my mother a week ago, and my younger brother had belatedly shown up for the funeral. I tried to remember the last time he had seen our mother before she died. I couldn’t because I had figured it was best not to dwell on the past.
After the pain of watching cancer steal my mother, I had to deal with Dwight’s resentment. To give him some credit, I think he felt badly he hadn’t bothered to come see our mother in hospice. I’d been close to my mother, but otherwise, my family wasn’t particularly close. One thing that bound us together was money and lots of it.
For that reason alone, I shouldn’t have been surprised at Dwight’s appearance. Dwight’s father had married my mother for her money and had been furious when he got none of it in the divorce. That detail had been a festering resentment for Dwight for years. Part of me would’ve been relieved if she’d left all of it to Dwight, if only to excise his resentment for once and for all. Yet, much as I didn’t need the responsibility of dealing with it, I didn’t care to watch
Dwight blow through whatever he inherited.
She’d played it smart in her will. My mother wasn’t a vengeful person, which was why I’d been so pissed at how Dwight essentially ignored her for years. She left him one of the family homes and a massive chunk of land in Bozeman, Montana, along with a small fund to be overseen by an executor. The fact his actual cash assets were overseen by someone else pissed him off. I’d had to listen to him bitch about it for days.
Thank God she had the sense to keep my inheritance private. Dwight could only guess at what he thought I might have inherited, although he’d made plenty of cutting comments about how I wouldn’t have to work another day in my life. As if I had any desire to be that lazy.
I loved my job, and right now, I needed it. Being outdoors working would keep me focused on something other than the wheels spinning in my mind.
This past month had been rough. There was one memory I’d visited time and again when I wanted to banish everything I was facing—my last night with Susannah. I knew it was rational for me to keep a wall between us. But, dammit, I didn’t want to.
I forced my attention back to Rex, taking another sip of coffee. Rex Masters was the Police Chief for Willow Brook. Willow Brook Fire & Rescue shared the station with his small force, and Rex essentially ran the station. Stepping in as a superintendent for one of the three crews based out of here, it would behoove me to get to know him.
Rex was easy going with a ready grin, which he cast my way just now. “Good to see you. I’m sorry to hear about your mother,” he said, his gaze sobering.
I took a sip of coffee to buy myself a moment and managed a nod. “Thank you. She meant a lot to me. It wasn’t a surprise, although the timing was certainly bad.”
Rex nodded politely. I trusted Rex on sight based on nothing more than a feeling he gave me. While I wasn’t one to share much personally, I’d learned over the years if you kept too much to yourself, people had more questions. I’d learned to walk that line well, offering just enough.
“She was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago. She fought it, but it was hard on her. We knew it was simply a matter of time. She was comfortable at the end, and that’s all that mattered to me.”
Rex was quiet, his gaze warm, before nodding slowly. “Well, that’s about the best you can hope for. Do you have any other family?”
“A brother,” was all I offered.
Rex didn’t push for more. Like Dwight’s father, my father had married my mother for her family’s money. Unlike Dwight’s father, my father got a tidy settlement in the divorce, and we never heard from him again. I had very few memories of him and that was perfectly fine with me.
I offered none of this to Rex, simply nodding again, thanking him for asking and deftly moving on. “So I understand you’re the nerve center here at the station,” I commented.
Rex chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “You could say that, although I would argue that’s Maisie. You met her when you were here before, right?”
“Of course. She’s the main dispatcher, right?”
“That she is. Her grandmother was our dispatcher for years. We have a few backups, but Maisie’s the only full-time dispatcher. The Anchorage station covers the line during night shifts and then we have a weekend person. If you didn’t catch it when you were here earlier, Maisie’s married to Beck Steele, one of the other firefighters here,” he explained.
“Oh right. Seems like a tight group here.” I was also aware one of the other superintendents, Cade Masters, was Rex’s son.
Rex leaned back in his chair, his gaze considering. “So it is. You signed on for a two year contract.”
His words were a statement, yet I could sense the question contained within them.
“That I did. I enjoy the work. I was up here one summer with a crew from Montana, and I loved the area. When I saw the position open up, I decided to jump on it.”
Rex eyed me thoughtfully. “Good. We requested the two years because this is a tightknit community, and relatively speaking, it’s isolated. We needed a leader committed to being here for a bit.”
“Absolutely understood. I didn’t question it.”
“I understand from Susannah Gilmore that you trained in California with her,” he commented.
Simply the mention of Susannah’s name sent a prickle of awareness through my body. If I were being honest with myself, I couldn’t wait to see her again. In fact, I’d already come up with a rationale for why we should keep having nights like the one we had before I left last month.
But I couldn’t exactly mention that to Rex. Instead, I nodded politely and took a sip of coffee.
“Susannah is an excellent crew member. You’ll be glad to have her on your team,” Rex said, setting his coffee down. He picked up a pen, twirling it idly in his fingers. “So I suppose I should fill you in on a few dynamics for the crew. One of the advantages I have being over here in the police part of the station is I have some separation from you guys. I usually know what’s up though. Anyway, Chad Meyer has been a problem lately. Frankly, since he was hired. He’s not what I’d call a team player. Honestly, he’s an ass. He was a bit of a problem with Susannah at one point, on her about going out with him, but she kept her distance. When Al retired, Chad put in for the position. He’s too clueless about how the rest of the crew perceives him to realize he didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell. I advised against even bothering with an interview,” Rex explained.
“So I’m guessing he’s not too thrilled I’m here,” I offered.
“Oh, it’s not you. It’s the position. It doesn’t matter who got the job, he was going to be an ass about it. To be blunt, I thought Al should’ve fired him sooner, but I think he decided to put this one off because he was on his way out. Al’s a great guy. He got injured about a year ago and lost the spark for the work. I wanted to give you that heads up about Chad because my guess is you’re going to want to do something about him sooner rather than later. Aside from him, you’re walking into a solid crew.”
“Thanks for filling me in.” I finished my coffee and stood, catching Rex‘s eyes. “I appreciate you being direct with me. I’ll try to deal with it quickly. To be honest, I have zero patience with bullshit. Either you’re committed to the team and your role on it, or you’re not.”
Rex nodded. “Sounds good to me. I’ve got your back on this if he tries to pull any bullshit in the meantime.”
I nodded, although my thoughts were already drifting to Susannah. Hearing this guy had been on her case sent a wash of protectiveness rolling through me. It infuriated me to think the jerk tried to hit on Susannah. This train of thought should’ve been a wake up call for me, but it wasn’t. It barely registered for me that I could lump myself in the same category. Yet, Susannah kicked rational thought to the curb in my brain.
Only one word came to mind when I thought of her.
Mine.
Chapter Five
Susannah
I watched as Ward walked across the parking lot outside the station, his black curls tousled and his silver eyes piercing me from a good twenty feet away—ridiculously sexy and downright dangerous for my sanity.
He’d been back in Willow Brook for a full two days now, and by sheer luck, I’d managed to avoid being alone with him the entire time. He’d set up meetings with everyone on the crew, including me. I’d begged off with the excuse of a doctor’s appointment—an entirely factual excuse. I did have a doctor’s appointment. Yet, he’d lose his mind if he knew why.
Dr. Jensen confirmed what my four pregnancy tests had already told me—I was pregnant. She estimated me to be approximately four weeks along. It was easy to figure out when I’d gotten pregnant, seeing as I’d only had sex once in the entire past year, although I hadn’t shared that rather depressing detail with her.
She’d been my OB/GYN for years now, so she knew me fairly well. When she’d asked me if I was excited, I’d promptly burst into tears. At which point, she realized that this pregnancy
was a massive surprise.
She’d graciously asked me what I wanted to do and carefully explained my options. There would’ve been a time in my life when I would’ve been appreciative to consider options. Even though I was confused and conflicted about my circumstance, I knew with certainty I wanted to have this baby. And that? Well, that put me in a hot mess.
I didn’t like to lie. I was a straightforward person, preferring to cut to the chase and cut through any bullshit. Yet, I had no idea how to talk to Ward about this. None. At all.
Not to mention, I didn’t know how to deal with the small problem related to the spark that just wouldn’t fucking quit between us. Every time I passed through his orbit in the station, my body felt electrified. Little bolts of lightning sent sparks scattering through me. And his eyes, those silver eyes flashing at me, the heat contained within them seared me inside and out.
From the look in his gaze, I was starting to get the sense he had no intention of forgetting what happened between us. Little did he know, there would be a huge reason that would make it impossible to forget.
Ward reached me, stopping a few feet away, the force of his presence setting a subtle vibration off inside of me. He was a strong man with a potent presence—all coiled strength and languid power. He didn’t throw his weight around like some men did, as if they needed to prove their power. He was so damn confident, masculinity and power simply oozed from him.
The moment my gaze collided with his, I had to catch my breath as my pulse took off at a gallop. He stared at me, his eyes locked to mine and his gaze far too knowing for my comfort.
