“In the meantime, Ibi-Ludim has refined the gas even further for weapon applications based on what you and he came up with, Veryn,” Dusty finished. “The Exemplar may not be in the fight for a while, but we’ll have been a major contributor in any skirmishes. Thanks to Nia for finding this all to begin with, a lot of lives are gonna be saved.”
“Thanks to us,” Nia corrected. “We all worked on this together. I couldn’t have done any of this without you guys. Your persistence and dedication were no less valuable than my contributions. I honestly feel like a slacker lately.”
“We love you too and don’t mind that you snagged yourself a bona fide hottie.” Dusty grinned widely.
“And are marrying him in two weeks.”
Grinning, Nia dipped her chin. “Thanks. I love you too. I just wish….”
Veryn didn’t need to hear the words to know Nia wished their group could remain together. The sentiment remained unanimous between them, but fate had other plans. As the exarch’s wife, Nia would remain on the Exemplar, and Dusty’s contract had been renewed as a civilian member of the ship. So had Veryn’s until....
Maybe she should have declined.
Nia’s warm hand took hers and squeezed. The simple reassurance meant more than words could convey, so she didn’t try.
Somehow, Veryn would make it all work. She wouldn’t give up the research she enjoyed and the friends she loved.
There had to be a way.
I’m speaking and thinking as if Catherine is already dead.
Her eyes burned, insidious tears fighting to sneak beneath her lashes. Veryn blinked them away and turned a winning albeit insincere smile toward her friends, ever the face of cool and collected serenity. “Two weeks will be plenty of time to get more work done if we really hustle. No massage required until you’re on the beach being treated like the honeymooning queen you’ll be.”
“Well, I want a massage,” Dusty said right on cue, making them all laugh.
“Work first.”
“Fine,” he replied, drawing out the word. “Now, what do you think about adding this protein to the chemical for enhanced absorption of the compound into their system? It took all night, but I may have a way to incorporate last week’s ideas toward our current objective,” Dusty said, tapping a control on his WristGear to activate the holoscreens.
“All night, huh?” Nia said slyly.
“Yes. Ludim—” Dusty cleared his throat. “Ibi-Ludim and I may have struck gold.”
Nia met Veryn’s gaze briefly, open triumph in her brown eyes.
How did I never notice this?
More and more, the sense of being the galaxy’s worst friend hung above her head like a guillotine. Her gaze darted across the laboratory to Ibi-Ludim. The enormous scholar sat behind his desk, studying a report on the screen with a pair of thin spectacles perched upon his narrow nose.
“Anyway, Veryn’s idea had merit, and we’ve seen it work in the past with common pest control agents. We don’t need to send marines into the colony if we can guarantee they’re taking this agent into the motherships.”
Veryn perked, distracted from their previous line of conversation. “You know how to guarantee that the mothers pass this on to their brood, don’t you?”
“Mm hm. It’s all in the proteins. Proteins are the building block of the Zaecady cell structure, just like with all other living organisms. But last night, we stumbled upon a potential method to create Blighted ovums in every young and developing queen. Not unlike common insects we’ve studied, every Zaecady queen hatches with a finite number of eggs awaiting fertilization. Once this infection occurs, the eggs may as well be rotten chicken eggs, as useless as they’ll be to the Zaecady. They shouldn’t develop after a mating. And if they do progress past initial fertilization, the larvae will perish and break down.”
Veryn cocked one brow. “You’re playing with genetics now.” Dusty hated genetics work.
“We are. And that’s your field, Veryn. That’s where Ibi-Ludim and I hit the wall. He isn’t a geneticist.”
The Lexar loathed genetic manipulation, viewing it as an offense against the natural order. They abstained from cybernetics, and even in the case of lost limbs, most purists refused even lab-grown flesh replacements. Of course, she’d seen variations of devotion to that religious doctrine and read the medical case files of a small number of Lexar Marines willing to undergo surgical repairs and grafts created from their own tissues.
In Lexar culture, their bodies were considered sacred, and they abhorred all permanent modifications with exception to the art they inked into their skin in tribute to their gods. Art wasn’t a desecration. The Lexar viewed tattoos as tribute and honoring their living temples.
“Two weeks isn’t going to be much time, but I’ll see what I can come up with. Not like I have anything better to do until then.”
If fate was kind, maybe she’d have something—or someone—to do after all.
4
Music whispered from an auditory aperture adjacent to Bennu, filling both his soul and the elegant bar space with the serene instrumental of woodwinds and harps. He stared at the polished table surface and let his gaze drift over the establishment’s other occupants, an assortment of their warriors and a trio of environmental-suit-wearing Eloran diplomats traveling aboard their vessel to the Exemplar’s next destination. The aquatic people spent an immeasurable amount of time in the bar socializing, and he wondered if the floor-to-ceiling coral habitat of the starboard wall reminded them of home.
Impulsive, rash decisions had no place in the life of a calculated and strategic military officer. Taking Veryn as a lover had broken numerous personal rules and left Bennu unbalanced. Off-kilter.
Fuck. It was bad enough that he’d gotten involved with a human scientist, but she was more than that, a valuable member of human royalty and well beyond his reach, even if he wished to pursue—which he did not.
Bennu knew better than to fantasize about courting Veryn. He had no time for romance and even less time for the relationship she deserved. What he and Veryn shared had been an unrepeatable moment of exhilarating passion destined to forever remain a singular occurrence.
Amun returned with more drinks and took his seat across the table. It was their fourth round of the afternoon. “An exarch’s alpha should not appear so grim.”
Classic Amun. Little escaped his notice.
“No wonder you’ve played such a weak game,” the exarch continued while resetting the Senet board. They preferred physical pieces over the virtual games, taking turns bringing a choice for the evening each week. Amun’s was a true work of art gifted by Empress Tal-Jin Maat when he was a child, polished jewels in green and ivory. “I’ve never managed to win three games in a row against you.”
“I suppose my mind is elsewhere. It does not make me grim.”
“And here I thought perhaps the gods were truly with me in the days preceding my bonding. Is it the assignment?”
“Personal matters. The assignment is not a problem.”
Amun relaxed comfortably back in his seat, a small glass cup held between both hands as he studied his friend. Bennu recognized the look and his folly. Now, Amun would not let the matter rest until he spoke what was on his mind.
“So… tell me about it then. Have you finally met a woman worthy of you? Frenzied and competing with another?”
Bennu froze. How the fuck was this man so perceptive?
Because we have been friends for decades, and were our situations reversed, I would notice the same.
“I’m close, aren’t I?”
“Yes,” Bennu breathed on a heavy exhale. He slumped forward, propping his weight against both arms. “No Frenzy, but there is a woman.”
He hoped Amun would leave it at that, but he should have known better. His exarch possessed the endless patience to outwait him and remained in the same position, watching him over his drink, eyes focused and unblinking.
“I was intimate with Veryn this morning.”
“Ah.”
“That’s it?” Bennu prompted after waiting for more. “No sage advice or words of warning?”
“You seem to realize the difficulties of the situation already. What more could I add?”
Bennu snorted and then tossed back his drink in a single, long swallow. The rich, fruity taste burned down his throat and settled warmly in his gut. “I should not have initiated such an encounter with her. She is... a formidable woman. Strong, both in body and mind. Capable with a weapon.” He hadn’t expected the latter.
“You forgot to mention beautiful. Or do you find her unattractive?”
“Of course she’s beautiful,” Bennu snapped, irritated further when his friend grinned. “Beauty is not what I look for in a woman.”
“Of course, but it still gladdens me to know you are not blind. So what is the problem if you do not feel the Frenzy toward her? Nothing prevents future dalliances without guilt.”
“The problem lies in who she is.”
“She is not the queen any more than I am the emperor.”
“But she is closer to the throne. It was irresponsible of me to give in to impulse.”
“Ah, my friend, impulse is what keeps us feeling alive and makes life worth living.”
“So you don’t think I made a mistake?”
“I think it is what you make it to be. She will be leaving us soon, and you have a vacation to focus on.”
If only he were truly going on vacation. Were such the case, he would ask Veryn to travel with him, if only to enjoy her company for a few more days. It would have been pleasant to show her around Opsyssa, to introduce her to their gardens and sparring grounds. Even if only as a friend.
“You’re frowning again.”
“I was merely thinking. What if I never experience the Frenzy?”
“Why would you say as much?”
“I have met many worthy Lexar females. And if there were a human who met my expectations, surely it would be one such as Veryn.”
Amun finally sipped from his drink and shifted in his seat, his face taking on a pensive expression with drawn brows and slightly pursed lips. Bennu waited, recognizing his friend had something to say but was considering how best to express his thoughts.
Fuck, he wished he had another drink.
“It is not uncommon for our kind to never experience the Frenzy; you know this,” Amun said after another long moment.
“I do. I suppose, with your good fortune, I wished for the same. But I realize now is not the time.”
Leaning forward, Amun reached across the table and clasped his arm. “You will return, and the time will come when a woman, whether human or Lexar, knocks you off guard. No one is more deserving, Bennu.”
“Thank you.”
“Thank me by playing a good game this time.” Amun leaned back, grinning, and reset the board. “I want a true challenge.”
His friend always knew what to say. Bennu laughed, his heart already lighter in spite of the dangerous mission looming ahead of him.
At the end of a long but productive workday, Veryn wasted no time in dragging Nia away to talk matters that had no place in the laboratory. Dusty lingered behind, no doubt to spend more time with his handsome scholar.
Too restless to return to her room, she instead guided Nia to the ship’s arboretum. Only a few other inhabitants walked the pathways through the expansive meadows and forest.
“Whoa, girl, slow down some.” Nia laughed and dug in her heels, forcing Veryn to pause.
“What?” Veryn asked.
“Look, I like a good brisk walk as much as anyone, but I don’t have your boundless energy.”
“Sorry, I’ve just been itching to talk to you all day.”
“Then let’s do it at a sedate pace.” Nia linked her arm through Veryn’s and nudged her toward one of paths that led through the more private, forested area of the gardens.
The whole place was beautiful, as was everything the Lexar crafted and put their minds to. All UNE military ships contained a biofarm to help produce oxygen and food, but nothing so vast as the operation ran by their alien allies. It was easy to believe they were in a planetary forest at sunset.
“You’ve been in a great mood all day. Now spill,” Nia demanded once they were well away from any prying ears.
“I fucked Bennu,” she blurted, speaking the words she couldn’t utter with Ibi-Ludim hovering nearby in the lab.
Nia came to a full stop and turned on a heel to face her. “Come again?”
“I. Fucked. Bennu.” Veryn raised both hands to her flaming cheeks and made a small sound of frustration. She had never been the blushing type, but speaking those words flooded her face with unbearable heat.
“Huh. I didn’t quite see that one coming. I mean, I knew I’d seen you drooling—”
“I don’t drool!”
“You totally do, and why shouldn’t you? The man is amazing. So... when? Where? Did he invite you back to his stateroom again? I thought you two were doing sparring lessons or something this morning.”
“Oh, we sparred all right,” she muttered under her breath, much to Nia’s amusement. Her friend giggled and dragged her farther up the path.
“Well?”
“Well what?”
Nia bumped a hip into her. “You know what. Does this mean you two are…?”
“He didn’t go all primitive and crazed on me, if that’s what you mean. Nothing to suggest the Mating Frenzy.” Why did that disappoint her?
“And?”
“And it was bloody wonderful,” Veryn admitted. “Totally unexpected and totally irresponsible.”
“So, the best kind.”
“The absolute best. I feel great, even though I should be walking crooked or something. I’m not even a little knackered.”
Nia chuckled. “It’s Lexar semen. You do know that a chemical component found in their ejaculate is what’s used in nanogel, right?”
“I…. Fuck. I forgot. Wow. That does explain a few things.”
“Yeah, I’ll say. Amun and I can go at it for hours, and I can walk away feeling like a million bucks. Are you going to see him again?”
“Doubtful. I mean, I’m leaving soon, so what’s the point?”
“That’s exactly the point. You should enjoy what time you have together.”
“It’s not like we’re in a relationship, Nia. I don’t want to complicate things by assuming it was any more than a heat-of-the-moment impulse for the both of us.” Because that was all it could be, even if she couldn’t get the blasted man out of her head now. The memory of his hands on her skin, the trace of his lips and tongue against her throat, had distracted her more than once while they were working. “Besides, if we were more involved, do you really think he’d drop everything and leave to stay with me in UNE space?”
“I guess not. Amun says he’ll be an exarch within a year, but don’t go telling him that. He wants to promote Bennu after his vacation.”
“He deserves it.”
“He does. And you deserve to enjoy yourself with some companionship, even if it is only for a week or so.”
“I don’t know.”
“Why not? You're both adult enough to enjoy a small fling and part as friends. The Lexar don’t get so sentimental about sex as most humans still do.”
“Is this your way of telling me not to worry about him getting attached and needy?”
“Maybe.”
“And what if I’m the one who wants more?”
“Do you?”
Veryn sighed. She loved Nia like a sister and hated that she would be leaving both her and Dusty behind to carry out their work without her. More, she’d miss their friendship.
“I’m attracted to him, obviously.”
“Obviously.”
“But I’m not looking for a relationship. Especially not now, when everything is changing so fast. Maybe I’ll feel differently once Catherine is out of the danger zone, but even then, I feel like I’m not gonna have much
freedom in things. Best-case scenario is that she recovers and continues ruling like the kick-ass, strong woman she is. But she’s already creeping up there in age. Whether it's another ten, twenty, or even thirty years from now, eventually that responsibility is still going to come down to me.”
“Queen Veryn Barclay, first of her name. Not gonna lie, it has a nice ring to it.”
Veryn wrinkled her nose and held back a snort. It did have a nice ring to it. Too nice. Despite that truth, she still didn’t feel ready or worthy. There were too many things in life she wanted to explore, and becoming queen would bring those dreams to a screeching halt.
5
The stunning Lexar homeworld of Aaru provided the ideal location for a wedding beneath the open sky. Somehow, it all seemed perfectly tailored to her best friend, the deepening blue sky streaked with golden light, dusky purple clouds edged in a ruby glow.
Veryn came close to tears more than once, struck by the simplistic beauty of the ceremony and the heartfelt vows Nia and Amun exchanged. Her part in it all had been easy, standing as witness and to help Bennu tie silken cords around Nia and Amun’s wrists when the time came. Rather than a diamond ring, Amun set a gorgeous bond collar around her friend’s neck, rubies and dark-blue sapphires glinting against the mixture of gold and silver beads.
More than anything, she wished her friend happiness.
“You seem displeased.” Bennu offered his arm along with the quiet comment, guiding her from the altar behind the newly bonded pair.
“What? No, I’m not.”
“You are crying.”
She blinked up at the giant man, certain he had to be joking, but the look he wore was one of genuine concern.
“I’m happy. Don’t Lexar cry when they’re happy?”
“Lexar do not cry.”
His delivery was so concise, so deadpanned certain, that she actually believed it might be true. In fact, she’d never seen them show any sort of weakness. They displayed kindness and concern, empathy and immeasurable patience, but she’d never seen one show sorrow in the same manner as a human.
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