I was ready to do anything—a blowjob, sex in the park, whatever he wanted—if only he’d just hurry up and fuck me. He retrieved a blindfold from the drawer, and I read in his eyes what was coming.
Oh, yes. Yes!
He secured the fabric over my eye, and immediately the smell of candles and aroused bodies heightened. As our breathing resonated through the pregnant silence of the room, he took my hand and placed it between my thighs.
“Go on,” he whispered in my ear. “You like this.”
I do, I love it. At the first touch of my clit, I let out an aching moan, but Robert’s fingers clawed around my wrist, interrupting me in the act.
“Don’t come,” he instructed.
No fucking way!
“Oh please, Robert…” He held my hand back. “All right, all right,” I babbled incoherently.
I sighed with relief as he placed my hand back on my pussy, and, once again, I began circling my clit. Just as I attained the right amount of pressure to keep me on the edge without going over, Robert slid two fingers inside me and closed his mouth over one nipple. The triple stimulation was staggering. My head lolled about, a cry trapped in my throat as I balanced on the brink of an explosion for what seemed an eternity. His mouth was set to destroy me—licking, biting, kissing my breasts as his fingers glided in and out of my pussy.
Oh, God, oh, God. His mouth on my breasts, his thumb pressing my clit, his fingers fucking me, it was all too much. I couldn’t take it. But I did. One heartbeat after another, I thought I’d die from desire as I pulled at his hair with a strength that must have made his eyes water.
Suddenly, he stopped kissing, pulled his fingers out of me, and brushed my hand aside.
“No!” I wailed, removing the blindfold, and sat up ready to demand that he finish what he started.
But a look at his face stopped me short.
With one fluid motion, he covered my mouth with his, pinned me to the mattress, and slid inside me. I closed my eyes in ecstasy. I wished I could have stayed that way forever, yet if I didn’t come soon, I’d die. Every excruciating detail of his cock—the ridge of the head, the bulging veins, the silkiness of his skin—was imprinted in me as he moved inside my wet, swollen channel, withdrew, and thrust deep. I began to levitate. The pressure on my clit, ears, and head forebode an otherworldly orgasm.
I arched into him, our damp skin sliding as we moved in unison. I circled his back with my legs, and he slid his hands under me, cupping my ass as he rammed into me. His tongue swept into my mouth, and I imploded. My vision went black. A giant wave took me on a ride that seemed to go on forever. My only focus was his cock inside me and my quest for the last shudder to end my sweet agony.
We lay sated in post-coital bliss for a long, long time before Robert spoke.
“I love you.”
I blinked twice, too shocked to react, not moving or saying anything for a full minute. Did I hear him correctly? Surely not!
I turned my head and our gazes locked. His watchful, gray eyes seemed to say, “You heard me correctly.”
I turned away and stared at the ceiling. Wow! Robert loves me. I hadn’t seen that one coming. I never really considered the possibility of any of my lovers falling in love with me.
I felt flattered…happy…unsettled…but mostly shocked.
His words echoed nonstop in my mind. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” What did that mean, though? And how was I to answer?
The deep silence wasn’t broken by either of us for a long time. Maybe I was making too much of it. His words just might have been a natural reaction to a highly passionate moment. If I were to lie there quietly, we would probably fall asleep, and by the time we woke up, Robert would have forgotten all about his emotional outburst.
“What are you thinking?” he asked quietly.
So much for my strategy. I should have known Robert always meant what he said.
What do I do now? What do I say? How do I feel?
For a start, I liked being told more than I ever thought I would. That was shocking, considering I didn’t want things to change.
I don’t want to hurt his feelings.
I cared enormously for him, though I thought he understood I didn’t want a long-term commitment with any one partner. I assumed he wanted the same.
My answer was evasive. “I don’t know.”
I should have guessed Robert wouldn’t be content with such an ambiguous reply.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, sitting up. Although his voice was calm, I sensed the underlying tension.
Come on! Give me a break.
What did he expect? He couldn’t just out of the blue open his heart to me and assume I’d follow suit. I didn’t know where to begin. This was what I knew for sure. I was always happy to see him, and I enjoyed his company…though the same could be said in relation to Jack and Alex. More than that, I couldn’t say.
“Robert, what makes you think you love me?”
He looked at me, his thoughts unreadable. “I want you all to myself. No sharing,” he answered swiftly, and my heart skipped a couple of beats.
“You do?”
“I do.”
“Aren’t you happy with the way things are between us?” I couldn’t help but ask.
“No, not really. Not for a while.”
Oh, no!
I wasn’t ready for that. I wanted to cover my ears, curl on my side, and go to sleep. To wake up and have everything be the same. I didn’t want things to change. I had no idea he wasn’t happy with our relationship. Maybe he would change his mind…I hoped.
Robert’s next words immediately robbed me of that notion.
“I’m done with part-time dating,” he said. “I want what other men have at my age—a steady partner, children, a home. Roots. And I want them with you.”
I was honored, floored, scared. My heart was beating so fast, I believed it would jump out of my chest. I soothed it by rubbing the heel of my hand over my left breast.
Taking my hand in his, Robert brought it to his lips.
“Does this have anything to do with Iraq?” I asked tentatively, but Robert’s scowl gave me the answer before he spoke.
His eyes were dark and intense as he placed my hand over his heart. “I’m in love with you, Amanda, and I have been for quite some time. Only you weren’t ready for me, so I’ve been biding my time.” He paused, gazing deeply into my eyes. “I wanted you to hear me out without running scared. But my trip to Iraq made me realize that one shouldn’t postpone happiness. Or love. A person just doesn’t know what the future has in store for them, and when they are as sure of their feelings as I am of mine, one more day of waiting is one day too many.”
I couldn’t get my head around what he was saying. Robert was in love with me? Truly? And had been for a long time? Wow!
Does he think I’m ready now?
Although skeptical and frightened, I shuddered from the joy his words evoked in me.
“I’ve waited for you to grow out of a single’s life, but I’m done with playing games. I want you all to myself now. I’m done sharing you while you convince yourself you’re happy surrendering your body and not your heart. I know I love you, and if you’re true to yourself, you’ll admit you love me, too. So what’s it gonna be, Amanda?”
“Robert! Come on. You can’t spring this kind of news just like that and expect me to give you an answer right away,” I said lightly.
“Oh, yes, I can,” he almost shouted. “We’ve just made love, Amanda, and it was wonderful for me. Perfect. But if you don’t feel the same, if you don’t think that’s enough, if I’m not enough for you today and for the rest of our lives, then you aren’t the person I need by my side.”
He jumped out of bed and quickly got dressed as I sat in a state of shock.
“Where are you going?”
“Home.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ve said what I had to say, now it is up to you to decide.”
He looked at me, his lips pressed together in a tight line.
“What happens if I say no?” I was scared. I was so scared of his answer, I began tearing up.
Robert reached into the inside pocket of his leather jacket and fished out two pieces of paper that he flashed at me. “These are two plane tickets for a flight to Paris on Friday evening.”
My heart thudded wildly in my chest. His proposal was not a spur-of-the-moment decision fueled by incredibly beautiful lovemaking. He had planned this. He was really serious about wanting to commit to me. He loved me. I was shocked. I was—
“I’ll be taking one seat, and it’s up to you if you take the other. If you do, be sure there’s nowhere else you’d rather be, and that you’re ready to spend the rest of your life with me, Amanda, for there’s no going back.”
As I struggled with the implication of his statement, he turned and stormed from the room without a further word.
Chapter 2
We usually met at the gym. Today was no exception. Alex arrived seconds after me, and I couldn’t help admiring the effect his dazzling smile had on the two young receptionists when he greeted them. He walked up to me with a proud, straight gait. He is so adorable. He kissed me on the cheek and complimented me on my new outfit. I’d taught him well. His words came out sincere and with just the right amount of flirtation to be believable and in good taste. We went into our separate changing rooms and met again five minutes later in the cardio room, where we began a grueling session that ended an hour later with a lot of sweat and aching muscles. I retired for a half-hour massage while Alex hit the pool. Showered and dressed, we met up at the bar for a juice and a chat before we headed out into the cold spring night.
We walked to a nearby Italian restaurant, where we shared a bottle of red wine and delicious lasagna. In his usual bubbly way, Alex gave me an account of the gossip on campus. But when I jokingly asked him the name of his latest love interest, instead of laughing about it as he usually did, he changed the subject. My suspicions heightened. I wondered if he fancied himself in love with someone other than me and searched for clues to the nature of his feelings. He’d grown from a boy into a man in the months we had been together. The boyish, awkward look had disappeared and been replaced with a more mature and confident person. He’d gained more substance, more focus. He’d become a man.
I thought of the first times we’d met, how unruly and immature he was. I also remembered how charming and delightfully refreshing it was to see the world through his eyes. The first time we made love was not memorable to me, although I came three times in succession, his enormous sex drive making up for his lack of finesse. But he learned quickly. A keen student, he was always willing to try again and again ’til he got it right. And he got it right, all right. More often than not, I found myself begging for mercy from his relentless, passionate lovemaking.
I’d made him an expert at oral sex, and he had spent hours learning my body and what makes it tick. I’d introduced him to sex toys and every position in the book. There were times when we first met that we didn’t let go of each other for more than five minutes for several consecutive evenings and nights. We were insatiable. We were addicted to each other.
But lately I hadn’t been as excited to make love with him as I once was. He was still irresistibly handsome and charming, and he’d grown in confidence and expertise, but unfair as it may be, I missed my role as his teacher. His sexual inadequacy when we first met worked for me. I liked my role as an experienced cougar sharing my knowledge with a young, eager student.
I sat back from the table. Tonight, for the first time, I didn’t feel like going to bed with him. I would be happy to just enjoy a good meal in his enchanting company and nothing else. But he was expecting to have sex and would be disappointed if he didn’t. He is, after all, only twenty-one, and abstaining is not a concept he grasps well yet. Well, no time like the present for him to start learning he couldn’t always get what he wanted. I guess I’d still be teaching him a lesson after all.
“…and Hannah said…”
It was the third time he mentioned this girl Hannah. I smiled, amused by his infatuation with a new girlfriend. This was probably the last time we’d be together, and the thought saddened me. What was happening to my well-structured sex life? First Robert was demanding exclusivity of feelings and time, now Alex was staking claim somewhere else? Damn it! I’d had such a good time with Alex in the past eighteen months. I’d miss his fabulous body, his contagious energy, and, most of all, his joie de vivre.
Oh, hell, I’ll miss him period.
“Shall we go?” I asked, watching him closely.
He briefly hesitated. So briefly that if I hadn’t known him so well, I might have missed it. But he smiled, obviously reconciled with whatever doubts he had, and stood.
“Yes, let’s go.”
On arriving at my apartment, we shed our coats, and, contrary to previous times, we didn’t instantly latch on to each other. I waited for his next move, letting him take the initiative. I didn’t want him uncomfortable with his decision. If he couldn’t—or didn’t wish to—betray his fondness for this girl, he needed to learn to control his sexual urges and act accordingly.
“Do you mind if I have a beer?” he asked.
He was stalling. He hadn’t quite decided yet if he was going to stay faithful to her. But although he wasn’t prepared to jump into bed with me as readily as he once was, he was not quite sure if he wanted to forfeit a night of good sex either. It would be interesting to witness this battle of wills.
I smiled, amused. “Of course, help yourself.”
We moved to the kitchen, where we both got a beer, clinked bottles, and said, “Cheers.”
We took long sips before I set the bottle down and stepped closer to him.
His smile was feeble, his gaze intent. He was torn. Placing his bottle next to mine, he leaned against the kitchen counter, arms by his sides. I sensed the conflict in him and decided to give it a nudge by taking another step to close the distance that separated us. If he didn’t make his move, then I’d know.
His arms thrust forward and closed around me, holding me tight for quite a long time—his shallow breath caressing my hair, his hard body against mine. It was so wonderful. I kissed his neck, loving the texture and scent of his skin under my lips. I would miss him. Our affair had meant a lot more to me than a casual fling. We had something beautiful together.
Suddenly, Robert’s image popped into my mind. Strange, that had never happened to me before. I was usually very good at staying in the present.
Our last exchange persisted in crowding my thoughts. Recalling our lovemaking, I couldn’t help getting aroused in spite of being in someone else’s arms.
I drew back and looked into Alex’s eyes. Beautiful, confused blue eyes stared back at me.
I couldn’t go on with it. I stroked his face and kissed him lightly on the mouth. “Why don’t we leave it at that?”
I saw…relief? Regret? Both?
“Do you mind?” he asked.
Did I mind? No, I honestly didn’t. This was it for me and Alex, and I wasn’t even sad. In fact, I was quite okay with it. This was the end of a beautiful affair that had run its course.
“Alex,” I said, stepping back. What I had to say was important, and I didn’t want it to be hindered or lessened by sex. “We both know that our…connection has come to an end.”
It was done. I said it.
He slowly shook his head, his eyes sad but not surprised. Yes, this was the right decision.
“But I hope we stay friends.”
He smiled, probably relieved by the easy manner in which I took the news. “I know we will. I want us to,” he said, then leaned over and kissed my cheek. “Thank you.”
We were okay. We would move on, though we would never forget each other or the wonderful times we’d shared.
* * * *
As I closed the door on Alex, the phone
rang.
“Hello.”
“It’s me, Robert.”
I knew exactly who it was. How could I fail to recognize the deep, sexy voice that had the power to turn me on with a simple hello?
“Hi.”
“Hi.” Brief hesitation. “Listen, are you alone?”
Wow! That was going straight to the point. I liked his candor, though I didn’t want him to think I did. “Why do you ask?”
“C-can you please just answer my question? Are you or are you not alone?”
“Aren’t we a little testy this evening?” I said, and he sighed. I smiled. “How can I help you?”
“Amanda, I need to see you.”
Now? My heart faltered for a moment. “Why?”
“Can’t we talk about this when I see you?”
“That’s assuming I’m alone and you’re coming over…which I haven’t yet decided,” I teased.
“You’re enjoying yourself, aren’t you?” he asked, his tone lighthearted.
I laughed. “Some.”
“Stop teasing and just say the word, Amanda.”
Yes, I was enjoying the flirtatious talk very much and couldn’t help but to prolong it a little more. “And what word would that be?”
“Yes. Just say yes to both, will you?”
I was elated. There was nothing at the present I wanted more than to see him. “Yes.”
When the doorbell rang three minutes later, I suddenly realized Robert must have been right outside my building, and probably saw Alex leave.
“Are you stalking me?” I asked as I opened the door.
“May I come in?”
I moved aside, and he stepped in, shoving the door shut behind him.
“Look, I’m not stalking you, but I needed to see you tonight. It wasn’t until I got to your doorstep that I realized you might have company, so I called. Okay?”
I nodded. “Okay. Do you want a beer?”
“No. Thank you. But I’ll take a coffee if you’ll join me.”
I moved to the kitchen with Robert right beside me. The two beer bottles stood on the counter side by side. We stopped, and his inward curse was almost audible. I pushed forward and grabbed both bottles, emptying the remaining liquid into the sink.
Triple Pleasure Page 2
