by Sarah Markel
*****
Shit, I hope I’m not too late. Alex thought to herself when she finally arrived. An accident on the freeway had slowed her down by almost thirty minutes. Walking into the dress shop, Alex asked the woman up front for directions to the consultation area. Following the woman’s indication, she walked down a short hallway to the right of the entrance. When she came to the right room, Alex stood in the doorway and stared in awe at the sight before her. She watched as Kelly stepped out of the fitting room wearing a white strapless dress. The bodice fit her like a glove, hugging her curves in a way that accentuated the woman’s physique. Meeting the bodice at her hips was a full, billowing, skirt that fell to the floor. “I don’t know, do you think she’ll like it?” Kelly asked Marsha. Before the woman could answer, Alex stepped forward and said “I think she won’t be able to take her eyes off of you.” Startled by Alex’s presence, all three women jumped and turned to look at her.
“Alex Walker, is that you?” Marsha shrieked, pulling the woman into a hug. With a nod, Alex bussed the woman on the cheek and returned the hug. “I can’t believe it! I haven’t seen you in years.” Marsha said excitedly. Smiling, Alex went to Kelly and wrapped her arms around the woman’s waist. “Oh holy shit, I don’t believe it.” Marsha said, looking from Alex to Kelly. “You don’t believe what?” Karen asked, confusion on her face. “That Alex Walker is actually getting married again.” Marsha replied. “Well Marsha, I never thought I would. But it didn’t take long for this beautiful creature to tear down my defenses and conquer my heart.” Alex said dramatically. Chuckling at the look of confusion on Kelly’s face, Alex kissed her cheek and asked what was wrong. “When I mentioned Marsha at the office, you looked like you had no idea who she was.” Kelly replied, looking from one woman to the other. Laughing, Marsha answered the inquiry. “Alex and I went to college together. And after rebuffing every advance I ever made towards her, she asked me to design her wedding dress when she and Callie got married.” Kelly shot her fiancée a glare before returning her attention to the dress maker. “Really? Well now, why don’t you tell me all about College Alex?” Alex shot a warning glance at Marsha and shook her head. Marsha laughed and gave her friend an evil grin. I’m a dead woman! Alex thought to herself with a groan as Kelly and Marsha walked over to sit next to Karen.
CHAPTER 8
“Thank you for coming today, honey. It really meant a lot to me that you were there.” Kelly said, lacing her fingers with Alex’s. After their meeting with Marsha Jenkins, the pair had said goodbye to Karen, picked up the kids, and headed home. Once supper and homework had been finished, the group had decided to watch movies until bedtime. After two movies and a bedtime story, the children were tucked into bed and the two women had settled down on the couch to relax. Smiling as she held the woman she loved, Alex replied “Baby you don’t have to thank me. In fact, I owe you an apology.” She added, turning Kelly so that the woman was lying on Alex’s chest. Once they were both comfortable, Alex explained. “I haven’t been helping you out like I should and that was wrong of me. When Callie and I got married, we did every step together. But even though our wedding turned out beautiful, all of the choices were hers. The only thing that she didn’t have the final say on, was my dress. I guess I was scared that the same thing would happen again this time. I do want to help you, but I don’t want my opinions to be ignored, either. Does that make any sense?” she asked. Smiling, Kelly leaned up and kissed her softly. “It makes sense, honey. All I have wanted from the beginning is for us to make the decisions together, even if that means making compromises. I never wanted to be in charge of the whole thing.” Kelly said reassuringly. “I haven’t actually made any decisions yet, I’ve just narrowed down my options. Will you come with me to make the final decisions?” she added, looking into Alex’s eyes. Wrapping her arms around Kelly, Alex smiled “I would love to.”
*****
As Halloween approached, Karen had started visiting on a daily basis. Every evening after supper, she would call and ask for permission to be buzzed through the gate. On Saturdays, she spent most of the day with the family. Sunday was the only day she didn’t visit. On the Saturday before Halloween, Dej made an observation to the woman. “Gramma Karen, why are you so skinny?” the girl asked. Unsure of what to say, Karen looked from Alex to Kelly before replying. “Well my dear, I was thinking of dressing up as a skeleton for Halloween. Have you ever seen a fat skeleton?” she asked with a smile. Satisfied with the woman’s answer, Dej went off to play in her room. “She has a point, mother. Have you lost weight since you’ve been here?” Kelly asked. Blowing out a breath, Karen replied “How about a drink? Alex would you mind if I stole my daughter away for a little while?” Looking to Kelly for signs of hesitation, Alex agreed. Before the pair left, Alex pulled Kelly aside. “If you decide you want to come home before she’s ready to leave or she pisses you off, call me. I will come get you.” she said. With a smile, Kelly kissed her goodbye and followed her mother out the door.
A half hour later, the two women sat at a two-top near the back of Smokey’s Bar. “Alright mother, spill it.” Kelly said when they had their drinks. Tossing back her shot of whiskey, Karen took her daughter’s hand. “I’m sick, Kelly. I have been for a while now.” Looking at her mother with unease, Kelly asked “What do you mean sick? And how long is a while?” When the woman said nothing, Kelly persisted. “Mother, I’m a doctor, remember? What are you sick with?” After ordering another drink, Karen sighed with resignation and began.
“Two years ago, I started noticing bruises all over my legs and I couldn’t for the life of me remember where I had gotten them. I ignored it for a while, but a month or two later I started feeling off. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, I had sores in my mouth even though I am diligent about oral hygiene. My husband suggested I see a doctor when he noticed that I was pale all the time. I kept telling him I was fine, and kept putting off being seen. Six months later, when George passed away, I was rushed to the hospital after I fainted at the church. When I woke up, the doctor told me that my lab results had come back and that my white blood cell count was low. He asked for permission to run some more tests and I gave it to him. When he had finished running them, he came back in, sat down next to my bed, and told me I had Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. He referred me to a specialist who ordered chemotherapy and put me on Prednisone, Doxorubicin, and Vincristine. That seemed to do the trick and I went into remission.” Pausing, she finished her drink to bolster herself and continued. “This past June, I started noticing the bruises again and got seen immediately. The leukemia was back and it was progressing quickly. I asked the doctor about treatment, and he said that with as quickly as the cancer is spreading, the best course to take would be a bone marrow transplant. Unfortunately, Kristen is not a marrow match, and neither is my mother. I am on the donor registry, but it could take months or even years before a match becomes available.” Looking into her daughter’s eyes, Karen finished. “I was hoping that you would be willing to be tested.” Shocked by her mother’s confession, Kelly felt the anger building inside her.
“So that’s why you finally made contact with me? Not because you thought I had gone straight, but because you think I can save your life!” she boomed, making her mother jump. “You haven’t changed at all. All the work Alex and I have put into trying to show you that being gay isn’t unnatural, and you don’t even care! You’ve spent the last eighteen years of my life pretending I don’t exist, but now that my existence could be beneficial to you, suddenly you’re the reformed bigot! I cannot believe your audacity!” she finished, slamming her fist on the table. Walking away without another word, Kelly pulled out her phone and called Alex. When she stepped outside to wait for Alex to arrive, Kelly fought back tears. “Kelly Shane, how dare you walk away from me like that, I’m your mother!” Karen chided loudly, stepping out of the bar. Unable to hold back her anger, Kelly replied “How dare I? How dare I? How dare you, mother. You spend eighteen years ignoring me and
then turn around and get me to trust you, just to spend nearly a month deceiving me! I knew something was up with you, I just knew it! I should have listened to my gut and had you thrown out on your ass instead of giving you the benefit of the doubt. I want you to leave mother. Go back home and stay away from me. If I see you near my family again I’ll file a restraining order against you.” She finished as Alex pulled up to the curb. Seeing that Kelly was angry, Alex stepped out of the car and went to her. “Babe, what’s going on?” she asked, attempting to pull the woman to her. Shoving Alex’s hand away, Kelly silently stormed off and climbed into the car. “Alex, please. I honestly do want my daughter back in my life. Please make sure she knows that.” Karen said sadly before walking back into the bar. Not sure of what was happening, Alex climbed into the driver’s seat and looked at her fiancée. Deciding to let the woman have some time, Alex started the car.
*****
“Where are we going?” Kelly asked sharply. The pair had been driving for nearly two hours before Kelly had calmed down enough to notice that they were not heading home. “I thought you could use some quiet time, so I dropped the kids off at Angie’s for the night.” Alex replied softly. Pulling up to the access shack to receive their pass, Alex patted Kelly on the knee. “I brought you out here so you could yell, scream, cry, or whatever else it is you need to do.” She explained. After driving a bit further down the gorge, Alex parked and got out to lay a blanket on the ground. Opening Kelly’s door, she held out her hand to help the woman out of the car. Stepping out of the car, Kelly brushed Alex’s hand away and stomped over to the blanket. Once Kelly was seated, Alex pulled a large, thick comforter and a thermos of coffee out of the car. Securing the comforter around herself and her fiancée, Alex asked “What happened back there, baby? I have never seen you so upset at someone.” Sighing sadly, Kelly curled into Alex and cried. A short time later, once Kelly had cried it out, she was finally ready to tell Alex the real reason for her mother’s visit.
“So your mom has cancer and only wanted to find you so you could have your bone marrow tested. Is that the gist of it?” Alex asked. Nodding, Kelly wiped her eyes and stood, walking down to the edge of the water. Picking up a few stones, she threw them as hard as she could into the river. Giving her fiancée some time to release her frustrations, Alex poured herself some coffee and waited. After a few minutes, Kelly turned and walked back to the blanket. Taking her seat and curling up under the blanket, she looked to Alex. “What, baby?” the woman asked, rubbing Kelly’s thigh gently. “I don’t know what to do. For so much of my life, she refused to even acknowledge my existence. Now she’s back, granted it’s only because she wants something, and I can either get tested and possibly be the match she needs, or I can turn her away for good and possibly be the reason she dies.” Watching the resignation on her fiancée’s face, Alex implored “Can you live with yourself if you turn her away?” Shaking her head, Kelly replied “I honestly don’t know.” Pulling the woman close, Alex sat with her lover, unsure of how to help Kelly with her conundrum.
*****
For the next several days, Kelly’s mood stayed sour. Alex and the kids did their best to give the woman her space, and on Thursday Kelly finally realized how much her mood was affecting the others. That afternoon, after the children got home from school, Kelly was sitting on the living room couch and heard Dej scream at her brother. “Zane, you idiot, I said watch where you’re going!” startled by the girl’s biting tone, Kelly went upstairs to investigate. “What’s going on up here?” she asked calmly. Looking up at her, Dej threw up her hands and stomped into her bedroom, slamming the door behind her. “She’s been such a brat the last few days, Mom. I came out of my room and I didn’t see her coming out of the bathroom. I bumped into her by accident and she screamed at me.” Zane said, running his hand through his hair. Patting the boy on the shoulder, Kelly assured him she would talk to his sister. “Why don’t you go see if Mom wants help with dinner, son?” She suggested before knocking on Dej’s door. When the child permitted her to enter, Kelly went inside and closed the door.
Sitting on the child’s bed, Kelly asked her “Dej, what’s going on? Why are you so mad at your brother?” Placing her hands on her hips, Dej glared at Kelly. “He knocked me down. He’s always knocking me down, because he never pays attention.” the girl spat. “Sweetheart, Zane doesn’t do it on purpose. I understand that you’re frustrated, but that’s no reason to scream at him or call him names.” Kelly said gently. “But you’re mad at Gramma Karen and you call her names.” Dej said in a matter-of-fact tone. Taken aback by the child’s words, Kelly asked “Sweetie, when did you hear that?” Rolling her eyes, the girl replied “On Sunday when you were on the phone with your dad. You said your mother was a ‘backstabbing, no good, lying bigot’. Is that why you have been sad?” she added, looking at Kelly intently. Speechless, Kelly wasn’t sure how to respond. After a moment, she patted her lap and helped the child up. “Listen, sweetheart. Sometimes grown-ups do things that are really mean to people they are supposed to care about. And when the ones who are hurt by those mean things get angry about it, they sometimes say things they don’t mean. It doesn’t mean that they don’t still care about the other person, it just means they are tired of being treated badly. Do you understand, Dej?” After a moment of silence, Dej nodded. “Yeah I get it. You’re saying that I was tired of Zane knocking me down and even though I love him, I still said mean things because I was mad.” Smiling, Kelly nodded. “So what did Grandma Karen do to you to make you mad?” the child asked curiously. Letting out a sigh, Kelly explained her past as simply as she could. When she finished, Dej looked up at her and asked “Do you still love your mom?” Smiling, Kelly nodded. Getting down off of the woman’s lap, Dej went to her door and opened it. Before she stepped out, she turned back to meet Kelly’s eyes and said, “If you still love each other, then what you guys said to each other shouldn’t matter. Not everyone is as lucky as me and Zane. Most people only get to have one mom.” With that, the child walked out of her room and went down the stairs.
*****
“Honey, I’m going to have the test.” Kelly said to Alex later that night, as the two lay spooned together in bed. Lifting herself up to rest on her elbow, Alex replied “Are you sure, honey? What swayed your decision?” Laying back slightly to see her partner’s face, Kelly blushed. “To be honest, Dej did.” Raising her eyebrow, Alex chuckled. “Dej huh? How’d she do that?” Taking a deep breath, Kelly replayed the conversation between her and the child. “When she asked me if I still loved my mother, and then told me how lucky she is to have been given more than one, it just kind of clicked in my head. She’s right. I have only ever had one mother in my life. No matter how mad she makes me or how badly she has treated me, she’s still my mother. I have to at least try to help her, otherwise I am no better than her.” the woman finished. Smiling down at her fiancée, Alex pressed their lips together. “I love you, Kelly Shane.” Rolling onto her back with laughter at the glare on Kelly’s face, Alex added “You know, one thing you said isn’t true. Karen isn’t the only mother you have ever had. From the first day you met my mother, you were adopted into the family.” Smiling as she rolled on top of Alex, Kelly replied “You know, you’re right. I never thought of it like that.” Shivering when Alex leaned her head up and flicked her tongue over Kelly’s bare breast, the woman added “I love you too, Alexis Renee.” Snorting, Alex attempted to glare. “Hey don’t call me that. It feels weird to hear my mother come out of your mouth.” Laughing at the horrified expression on the other woman’s face, Kelly leaned down and pressed her lips to Alex’s.
CHAPTER 9
The next morning, Kelly called her mother after arriving at work. “Good morning, Mother.” she said when the woman answered the phone. After a moment of awkward silence, Kelly explained “Mother, I’ve decided to do the test. If I am a match, I will donate the bone marrow you need.” Taking a seat in her office chair, Kelly listened as her mother thanked her rep
eatedly. Once Karen had given her the number of the Oncologist that she was seeing, Kelly hung up and made the appointment. A little surprised that she was able to get in that day, she went to Alex’s office. “Honey, can I talk to you for a minute?” she asked, stepping through her fiancée’s door and closing it behind her. “Sure babe, what’s wrong?” Alex replied, noting the look of unease on Kelly’s face. “I called and made the appointment with my mother’s Oncologist to get tested. I have an appointment in an hour and I was wondering if you would come with me. The test is non-invasive, but I would still feel better about it if you were with me.” Smiling, Alex nodded.
*****
“Alright Dr. Taylor, open wide.” Opening her mouth so the nurse could swab her cheek, Kelly rolled her eyes. While she fully understood the desire for health care workers to present themselves as non-threatening, she dearly hated being spoken to as if she were a child. Once the sample was collected, Kelly was surprised when Alex stopped the nurse. “Swab me too.” she said. A bit hesitantly, the nurse shook her head. “I’m sorry ma’am, but you have to fill out the required paperwork before I can do the test.” Huffing out a breath, Alex left the room. A few moments later, she came back in and handed the nurse a piece of paper. Chuckling to herself, the nurse prepared another swab and collected a sample from Alex. “Alright ladies, Dr. Peck will call you with the results once they come in.” the nurse said as she sealed the swab. After she had labeled the specimens and collected signatures from both women, the nurse informed them that they were done. When they got into the car, Kelly turned to Alex and leaned over to kiss the woman’s cheek. “What was that for?” Alex asked with a chuckle. Shrugging, Kelly said “It was a thank you.” With a smile, Alex started the car and headed back to Serenity Home.
