by Zoey Castile
“If you would take two seconds to talk to me instead of avoiding me, then maybe I would understand.”
“I can’t talk to you about this. Don’t you get it? I don’t want to bring you down.”
“I’m supposed to be your best friend, Robbie. I feel like I don’t know you anymore.”
This is the moment Sophia decides to walk around the corner and notice us. She takes in Lily’s red cheeks and my stiff posture. “Everything okay here?”
“Fine,” I say curtly.
“Lil?” she asks, ignoring me.
“We’re fine. I’ll be right in.”
Sophia smiles politely. “We have to start the toasts in fifteen, okay? Nice of you to drop by, Robyn.”
I shut my eyes and breathe until my desire to smack her subsides.
“I’m sorry you feel like you don’t know me anymore, Lily,” I say. “But I’m the same person.”
“The Robyn I know wouldn’t keep secrets from me.”
“What secrets?” I’m close to shouting. My wine sloshes over my glass and onto my dress. Great.
“That your date threatened Lukas. That you’re putting your career in jeopardy.”
“Whoa, hold on a minute,” I say. “Who told you about Lukas?”
“David did.” She smiles and waves at a couple walking into the dining room. “Lukas is one of his groomsmen and he wasn’t sure if he should tell me.”
“And you just believe that?” I ask.
“I wouldn’t. Not if you’d talk to me.”
“Don’t you understand I’ve put all of my energy into not bringing drama into your wedding?”
“Well, you’ve done an excellent job so far. Because Lukas was Sophia’s escort. I can’t even deal with having to rearrange all of this.”
“You don’t have to,” I say. “I can walk down the aisle with him. It’s one day. I can be around that lying, two-faced piece of shit for one day.”
Lily stares at me like I’m a stranger, and I hate that I’ve caused her all this stress. I should try harder. I should be better, even if it’s just for her. I place my hand on her shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Lily. I really am. You won’t have to worry about me. I promise.”
And I truly hope it’s the one promise that I can keep.
FALLON
Vinny and Wonderboy have a place in Sunnyside, Queens. The bottom half of a two-family house. Its decor is better suited to a suburban housewife, but it’s just a rental.
I drink vodka from a red plastic cup and sit on a single recliner watching the others act a fool. There are scantily clad women downing shots of Midori that makes my stomach turn just by thinking of it. Instead, I let my mind wander to Robyn and how amazing she feels in my arms. I rewind our fuckfest in her bed. In her shower. On her couch. How I left her looking rumpled in her fancy evening dress. If I were a better man, I’d feel sorry. But I just can’t help but think that I fucked her to claim her. To let the world know what we’d done just moments before.
“What’s wrong with you, bro?” Vinny asks, walking over to me. He sits on my armrest. I can barely hear him over the ratchet rap pumping from his sound system.
I shake my head. I’ve decided to give him a chance. “I’m just tired.”
“Did you finally hook up with the teacher?” He takes a drink, the corners of his lips peering from the rim like the Cheshire Cat.
At the thought of Robyn, I smirk. I can’t stop myself, no matter what exterior I want to put out. Robyn makes me happy and I have to give her up.
“That’s my dude!” he shouts and bumps my fist. “You should’ve brought her around.”
“Nah, it’s not her scene. She’s at a wedding rehearsal for a friend.”
“Oh, one of the girls here’s talking about some wedding next week. Her coworker or something.”
I look around the room and my eyes meet those of Anise, one of the girls from the bachelorette party. I look away, but it’s too late. She’s noticed me and raises her glass.
“Here comes trouble,” Vinny says, then pulls out a little plastic bag of blow. “Hey, you want to party?”
I shake my head. I don’t care if the other guys put that shit in their bodies. There was a time I did, too. I’m not proud of it, but I thought I was invincible. I loved the high. Then one day, I woke up not knowing where I was, buck-naked in a stranger’s house. When the owner got home, he nearly fucking shot me, until I explained it was a prank by my friends. “I’m good.”
Anise sits on the other armrest of the recliner. She’s in a white slip dress that hugs her tiny body. Vinny’s in a red shirt. I can’t help but think that they’re like manifestations of my conscience. An angel and a devil sitting prettily on either side of me. Though neither of them offers any good choices.
“Why are you being antisocial?” Anise asks, her voice as perky as her breasts.
“He’s the serious one in the group,” Vinny tells her, and winks. “But I’ll be social for him.”
I laugh at the pair of them. “See? You wouldn’t even miss me.”
“You could always join,” Anise says suggestively, lifting an eyebrow toward me as she takes Vinny’s hand.
Vinny is trying not to crack up behind her, but failing.
“You guys have fun,” I say, and lift my cup to them.
I should be pissed that Vinny’s sleeping with clients. But a part of me just doesn’t care because all of me would rather be with Robyn right now. I was supposed to tell her that I’m leaving the week after her best friend’s wedding. Instead, I invited her on a fucking weekend getaway.
I down my drink and Irish-exit out of the twins’ apartment. I take a cab back to my place where there’s a girl slumped in front of my door.
“What are you doing here?”
“Hey, loser,” my sister says. “Thanks for answering my calls.”
* * *
“Mary Lee Fallon,” I say, sounding more like our dad than I want to. I unlock the door to my apartment and let her in. “What the fuck are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in school.”
“It’s a Friday night,” she says matter-of-factly, rolling her eyes as only seventeen-year-olds do. “I don’t have anywhere to be tomorrow.”
She drops her backpack on my couch, and Yaz runs into my sister’s arms. Mary falls into a fit of unintelligible noises because Yaz is cute as hell. “When did you get a dog?”
Yaz licks my sister’s face and barks.
“Since none of your business.” I go to the kitchen and grab a beer and a can of soda. Mary tries to grab the beer from me and I slap her hand.
“You’re in high school.”
“So?” she says. “You dropped out of high school when you were younger than me.”
“I did that for a good reason.” I lick my lips and slump onto my couch. A headache pushes against my temples. “You shouldn’t do what I do.”
“That’s easy for you to say.” Mary sits on the couch beside me. Yaz dozes sleepily on my sister’s lap. “You’re the reason he’s so strict with me. My curfew is seven p.m. SEVEN. No one even bothers to try to be my friend because I’m the girl who can’t leave her house.”
“Good,” I say. “Keep the boys away.”
“I don’t like boys, Fallon.” She flicks the top of her soda can, and gives me a sheepish smile. “You’d know that if you were home. Even Dad knows. He still just wants me home, studying, and never leaving. I just want to have your life. Traveling and being, I don’t know, free.”
I let go of a long breath. How do I make her understand? “And running away is your answer?”
She lifts one shoulder and drops it. “You’re the only person I thought could understand me, but I never see you.”
“Let me shower. Take my phone and order food. My passcode is Mom’s birthday. There’s money on the kitchen counter. Don’t spend it all in one place.”
This is not how this weekend was supposed to go. My little sister just came out to me, sort of, and I haven’t been t
here to show her my support. Not that she needs my permission, but she’s right. I should be there. I should be home more.
And to hear that she wants to be like me, that I’m the person that she thinks of when she thinks of the future. That terrifies me.
I hear the doorbell. I open the shower curtain and shout, “That was fast. What’d you get?”
She doesn’t answer for a little while and I wonder if she didn’t hear me. I lather, rinse, repeat when the doorbell rings again.
“Zac!” Mary says, suddenly playful and giggly. “Robyn’s here!”
Oh, fuck.
ROBYN
After the rehearsal dinner, I head back. Instead of going home, I stop at his floor. What I don’t expect to find when I knock on Fallon’s door is a teenage girl. She has bright green eyes and dark hair pulled back in a high ponytail. She has broad shoulders and wears a Patriots hoodie. She gives me a smile that is achingly familiar to Fallon’s.
“Are you Zac’s girlfriend?” she asks, grinning and blushing all at once. “Nice.”
“Uh—” That I don’t know how to answer.
“He’s taking a shower, but we’re about to order food if you want to stay. I’m Mary Lee.”
“I can come back,” I stutter, taking her hand.
We didn’t cover meeting family in our arrangement. I didn’t think it’d have to come up at all. But here I am, shaking hands with his little sister.
“Please stay. I need a girl on my side. Fallon is being lame and telling me that I can’t run away from home.”
I chuckle. She has zero filter and I love it. “Tell you what. I’m going to put on something less formal, and then come back.”
She nods with a smile, and I run up to my apartment to change. Fallon’s little sister is here and she’s run away from home. We’re getting into super-personal territory. And yet, it doesn’t feel weird. It feels right. Like I should be there as some sort of support system for him. I rummage through a closet and find some board games. Do teenagers even like board games anymore? I feel about a hundred right now. But it could be a nice icebreaker.
I tuck them under my arm, run down, and ring the bell again. Mary Lee opens the door and shouts after her brother, “Robyn’s here!”
I set the board games on the coffee table. Yaz barks and runs onto my lap. The husky pup is everything I need in this moment. She’s warm and fluffy. Nothing bad can happen while holding a puppy in one’s arms. That’s a scientific fact.
“Do you want something to drink?” Mary Lee asks. “Fallon’s got a bunch of booze. He’d probably get pissed if I have some, huh?”
“That’s a safe assumption,” I say. “And I’m okay for right now.”
She sits next to me and examines me. “Are you a model or something?”
“Me? No, I’m a schoolteacher.”
“I didn’t know teachers dressed like that.”
“We have personal lives, too! I was at a rehearsal dinner. My best friend’s getting married.”
Mary Lee throws her head back and laughs. The pitch of it is just like Fallon’s. “I hate weddings. I never want to get married.”
“Smart. My parents have been saving for my supposed wedding since I was in diapers. It’s too much pressure.”
“Wow. You’re the first person to not say, ‘One day you’ll change your mind.’ I hate that. Like I don’t know my mind.”
I brush Yaz’s head and she makes a tiny growling sound, also kind of like Fallon. I must remember to tell him of this later.
“Well, this whole year since my best friend’s engagement, everyone in our lives has been asking when I’m next. And I hate that question. I hate the assumption. Only you know what you want, and even if you do change your mind, that’s up to you.”
Mary Lee takes a drink of her soda and stares at me with curious eyes. “How did you and my brother meet?”
I nearly choke on my own spit. “Well—”
“Don’t answer any of her questions,” Fallon says, running out of his bathroom so quickly he nearly slips on his own wet feet. He’s in a Red Sox T-shirt and basketball shorts. He dries his hair with a towel, and I lean toward the scent of his clean, musky soap. “She’s a tricky little hobbit.”
“Excuse you,” Mary Lee says, holding up a finger. “If I’m anyone in Middle Earth, I’m a powerful wizard. And I’d save your ass. You’re an ugly dwarf.”
“I don’t know,” I say, tracking Fallon’s movements as he goes to his refrigerator and brings out two beers. “The new dwarves are kind of hot.”
“Gross,” Mary Lee says.
“Do you want me to put you on a bus back home tonight?” Fallon warns her. He hands me a beer and musses up her hair. “Because those are a long five hours.”
“Fine,” she says. “I’ll behave. Let’s play Scrabble. I don’t think Fallon knows how to spell, so we’ll kick his ass.”
Fallon rolls his eyes. “This is the kind of abuse you get from family.”
“It’s sweet,” I whisper, and he sits on the footstool across the coffee table.
“Okay, so let’s establish some rules.” Mary cracks her knuckles. “Whoever skips a turn has to answer a question.”
“What kind of question?” I ask.
“Any kind. It just has to be the truth. Why is the sky blue? Why did you abandon your family to travel around the world? That kind of thing.”
Fallon narrows his eyes at his sister. “Fine. If I win, you go home on the first bus going back to Boston.”
“What if I win?” Mary asks, her bright green eyes defiant. “Do I get to stay?”
“Then you still go home. I just tell Dad it was my idea and I bought you a ticket and forgot to mention it to him. I’ll even put you on the Amtrak instead.”
Mary goes serious. “You’d do that?”
“Do we have a deal?” Fallon asks.
“Wait,” I say. “What if I win?”
“Then you get to give your points to one of us. You’re tiebreaker.”
“That’s not fair!” I say.
“Tough shit, Flores.” Fallon winks at me. And in that wink, I know exactly what we’re playing for.
Mary Lee kicks off the board with BRASH. I have all vowels and end up with BEE. Fallon surprises us with THRIVE. I’m the first to pass.
“How does this work?” I ask Mary, since she’s making up her own rules. “Do I have to answer a question from both of you or just one?”
The brother and sister glance at each other. Fallon looks relaxed, comfortable, happy. He looks whole. It’s a side of him I haven’t seen before, and the intimacy of it all scares me, because there’s nowhere else I’d rather be on a Friday night than playing a board game with his little sister and cuddling with his puppy.
Lily’s words echo in my mind. I don’t even know who you are anymore.
I don’t know, either, but this Robyn, sitting in this living room. I like her. She’s happy, and she’s not going to apologize for that.
“Both,” Mary says. “Let’s see. How did you two meet?”
So I tell her about the laundry incident.
“Ew, you have a sequin thong? Doesn’t that itch?”
“It’s a specialty show, get over it. My turn.” Fallon levels his eyes with mine. “How was the dinner tonight?”
I line up my letters in alphabetical order. I have a lone L, and now I just need somewhere to put it.
“It was good. Actually, I got demoted from maid of honor to a run-of-the-mill bridesmaid. I don’t mind, but now I have to be paired up with my boss.”
Fallon knocks over his beer. His reflexes are so quick he grabs it just before it hits the floor and brings it to his lips before the foam starts overflowing. Then he keeps drinking until the bottle is empty and sets it down with a light thud.
Mary Lee makes a face that says, “Shit’s about to get real.” It’s better telling Fallon this now. Though probably not fair to catch him off guard with his sister in the room.
“Principal Pervert gets t
o take you out after all,” Fallon says, stroking his smooth jaw.
“It’s just a couple of hours.”
Fallon shrugs. “It’s fine.” But the subtext is, “It’s not fine.”
“I take it there’s history with this Principal Pervert?” Mary Lee asks, her ponytail swishing with the turn of her head.
I hold up my finger. “I think the rules dictate that you have both asked your questions.”
“Dammit!” Mary shouts, then we resume the game.
Fallon comes in with ZEST, and I could throttle him. He pumps his fist in the air and laughs at both of us. I manage a weak EVERY. Mary curses up a storm that even makes Fallon blush.
“I’m about to wash your fucking mouth out with soap.”
It sends Mary Lee and me into laughing fits and a round of calling him Dad.
Mary Lee smacks her hands on her head. “Why are there so many Rs in this game? Pass.”
I sit back and let Fallon ask the first question.
“Why’d you run, Mary?”
She frowns and pulls at the tufts of cotton from the pillow on her lap. “Dad had a relapse.”
“What?”
“Rules are rules,” Mary says, trying to smile.
“Fuck the rules,” Fallon says. “Why wasn’t that the first thing out of your mouth when you got here?”
I place my hand on his shoulder. He sits back and tries to calm himself.
“Mary,” I say. “What’s wrong with your father?”
“I’m not sure. But he’s been taking more pain meds. He doesn’t complain in front of me, but I know that there’s something wrong. He’s just so freaking stubborn he won’t talk to me. No one talks to me.”
I give Fallon a look that says, “Talk, you big idiot.”
“You can talk to me,” he finally tells her, his voice strangled with hurt.
She scrunches up her face and gives us her cheek. “How? You don’t pick up. When you have free time you’re halfway across the world. It’s not like you’re going to come home. We’re not as cool as some mountain range in India, I guess.”
