by RGAlexander
“I’ll always help you, Brady.” Solomon placed his hand on his brother’s shoulder. “And I’ll always be here if you need me, even when I’m worried, and even if I don’t agree. You know that, right?”
“I do.”
He never doubted his family. They didn’t always understand him, and he knew Solomon didn’t always approve of his decisions, but he stuck it out and never let him down. It was love, Aunt Ellen always said, more than genetics or Sol the Elder’s obsession with the Finn name. Love kept them together as a family. Love was the glue.
But Brady was no longer sure Ellen was right. Unless she’d only meant a particular kind of love. Not the kind that was intense and full of passion—not the kind that was obviously one-sided. Ken had sent him away so easily. Shut him out and moved on with his life without looking back.
Brady had spent the better part of a week going over everything that had happened, what they’d shared, and he was no closer to understanding how something so powerfully profound and life changing for him could mean that little to Tanaka.
It had happened so fast—falling in love. He knew it could—Ellen and Shawn were proof of that. But when he looked at Owen and Jeremy, at Tasha and Stephen, he saw a whole life of shared memories and experiences mixed in with the romance. Maybe that was the real truth, the real key. Maybe all that was between them was chemistry. Passion. Maybe Ken was right and time would make it fade.
What did he know? He’d never been in love until now.
Brady forced the painful memories down and glanced up to find Seamus and Solomon watching him with matching expressions of concern. “I’m fine. Stop hovering.”
“You know what Jake would say to that?”
“Jake is twelve.”
Seamus ignored him. “Jake tells me fine never means fine unless you’re talking about a girl. Or in your case, a man. He says whenever people say they’re fine, it means that they are too worn out from crying to go over why life sucks so bad.”
Solomon snorted. “He’s a prophet, that one.”
“I think so,” Seamus replied with a glance at Brady. “He’s also an eavesdropper, and overheard me mentioning Terry Wahl to Noah. When he found out Tanaka had a foster brother, he told me it made sense.”
Brady frowned in confusion. “How’s that?”
Seamus took out a rag to wipe the sawdust from days of construction off the bar. “You weren’t around when my kids came into my life. Jake was the first. He was six going on sixty back then. Introverted and in pain, but smart. He was at my side when Penny and Wes were born a year later, and he was the first to hold Little Sean when I agreed to help Mira out of a tight spot. He’s a special boy and he’s always been a people watcher. He usually figures things out long before I do.”
Brady would have described Seamus exactly the same way.
“You should get his advice before you date again,” Solomon joked.
“Nice, Younger. I’m working here.”
Brady sent him a look. “What did he say about Ken?”
“He said Tanaka was good at everything because he has to be. When you don’t know what it’s like to have family to rely on and people you trust, you’re all you’ve got.”
There was a lump in Brady’s throat. “He’s a smart kid.”
“He likes Uncle Necky,” Seamus said chuckling. “All the kids do. Lord knows I owe him a kidney for the way he helped with Little Sean.”
“We all owe him for that,” Solomon agreed. “And I owe him for giving me back my brother.”
Brady lowered his brows and looked at Solomon, wondering if he’d gone crazy. “What are you talking about, Younger? I’m back now? Forgetting the fact that it’s been eight months since I took off the uniform, I’m still homeless and unemployed. I still have bad dreams and I’m still not returning to the police force the way you and Sol want me to. Nothing’s changed.”
Solomon’s smile was subtle, but for him it might as well have been a parade. “I never cared about that. Dad might still give you shit about it, but that wasn’t what I was looking for.” He paused for a moment, and when he spoke again his voice was thick with emotion. “You were gone a long time, Brady. Even when you got home… Don’t tell me I wouldn’t recognize my own brother when you finally came back.”
Damn it. “Don’t start, Solomon. I can’t…” His laugh was watery and rough. “Great. I’m back to my old self again, just in time to get kicked in the teeth by everybody’s favorite hacker. What am I supposed to do now? He’s smart and sexy and I love him and none of that means shit because he sent me away.”
“He’s a fucking idiot for being such a genius,” Seamus frowned. “But I expect more from you. You heard what I said right? He isn’t used to family. Isn’t used to having people to lean on.”
“Yeah?”
“Let me remind you about the advice you gave to Owen a few weeks ago after taking a bath in rum. You’re a Finn, you said. We go all in or not at all. All in or not at all. Do those sound like the words of a man who’d let a little thing like being sent away for your own good get in your way?”
“You think he sent me away for my own good?”
Seamus glanced at Solomon, who nodded. “A part of you thinks it too, otherwise you would have taken my calls. Think about it, Brady. You were there, looking into those men’s eyes, close enough to touch them. And Tanaka is the one that put you there. The same men who smiled at you were responsible for that blood-soaked crime scene we found only hours later, and erasing your connection to Grimes. It crossed my mind they could erase you just as easily, which is why I lost my temper.”
Still… “He told me to leave so casually, like I’d just been there to install a fucking light bulb.”
“My guess is he knows you,” Seamus offered kindly. “You’re a big man with a big heart, Brady. If he’d showed you how much it hurt him, nothing he said would have convinced you to leave.”
That big heart started to race. Like it was waking up for the first time in days. He looked over at Solomon. “What about you? Do you think I should go all in? What if things aren’t over with the Slaver’s Club? What if we have to deal with those bastards again?”
Solomon shook his head. “I hope that day never comes, but I’m not an idiot. And I know you’re not the kind of man that walks away from a fight. Not when it matters.” He lifted one shoulder. “If it gets too dangerous… If that happens, don’t forget you’ve got family who loves you. And some of us own guns.”
Brady got up from the bar stool and slung his arm around Solomon’s shoulders. He got a lot of flak for being too uptight, but Brady knew that he’d been the one to raise them. Not their father. Solomon had forgone fun and a life of his own because he had five brothers to take care of. “Thank you, Younger.”
“I told you I hate that nickname. Now stop drowning in your root beer and act like a man. And just be happy, damn it.”
A few hours later, he wondered if Chief Finn would approve of the fact that his first attempt at being happy included breaking and entering.
He hadn’t really had a choice, Brady told himself as he jabbed with his left, the force of his blow jarring his shoulder. Ken wouldn’t answer his phone and Brady had never thought to make a spare key to the warehouse.
Throwing out another punch, he wiped the sweat off his face with his forearm—since his hands were encased in Ken’s MMA sparring gloves—and scowled. Where was Tanaka right now? It was still light out, but maybe the club was already open. Maybe he should call Tasha and see if she knew someone there who could find out. Someone who could tell Brady if Ken was busy “playing” with someone. If he seemed relieved to have things back to normal.
And maybe you could act like a grown man with balls instead of a teenage girl. Tighten up, Marine. He’ll have to come home eventually.
He hadn’t been planning it. Breaking in. But Trick wasn’t the only one who knew how to pick a lock, and when the police didn’t show up in the first twenty minutes, Brady knew Ken hadn’t re
set his security systems since he smashed the hell out of his hard drives and disconnected the cameras. It was going to take some elbow grease to get this bat cave up and running again. Ken would need help with that.
“Jesus,” he muttered, punching the heavy bag more aggressively and finishing off the combination by driving his knee hard into his imaginary opponent’s ribcage. He was pathetic.
Brady danced around the bag, throwing kicks and elbows, trying his best to wrench it from the steel anchor it swung from. Trying and failing to work off his nerves. He’d been doing a lot of that since he got here. Push-ups. Pull-ups. Jump rope. Weights. He’d gotten so drenched he’d taken off his t-shirt, and then his jeans, until all he had on were his boxers.
“If he doesn’t get home soon, I’ll go for a naked run, get arrested and he’ll never know I was here.”
And now you’re talking to yourself.
He couldn’t help it. Couldn’t shut down his mind. There was a part of him that worried he was making a fool of himself. That coming here on secondhand advice of a twelve-year-old and his perpetually single older brother was not the smartest move. Particularly since it hadn’t been his decision to leave in the first place. Ken had said they might not be the best fit. Ken had said that they both needed time to think about everything that had happened.
Ken had asked him to leave.
But he hadn’t asked Brady what he wanted. He drove his knee deep into the bag, then swung his other leg around in a powerful kick that rung the iron rafter above his head. He reached out his hand to stop the wild swaying of his canvas enemy.
Ken didn’t know what Brady was feeling, because he’d never gotten the chance to tell him. There’d been too much going on.
He’d wanted to. In the middle of the ugly mess they’d fallen into—a mess that still wasn’t cleaned up—Brady had wanted to tell Ken he loved him.
Seamus was right. He was an all or nothing kind of guy. He couldn’t just turn his feelings off because they might put him in high-risk situations at some point in the future. He wouldn’t live like that. And Ken might call him a fool, but Brady wasn’t going anywhere until that man knew exactly what he was sending away.
“Finn?”
Thank God. Brady brought down his gloved hands and looked over his shoulder. “Tanaka,” he acknowledged. “Busy day?”
“What are you... Did you forget something?”
Not exactly a warm welcome, but Brady would work with it. “I didn’t forget anything. What’s in the box?”
“My new office.” Ken set down the box of computer parts he was carrying and stalked toward Brady, those usually wicked lips tight and thin. “You don’t have a key.”
“No, I don’t. We’ll need to fix that when I move back in.”
“I told you to go.”
“And now I’m back.”
When Ken’s torso twisted and his leg swept out, Brady was ready for him. He side stepped the kick, wrapped his arms around Ken’s shoulders and they fell together. Brady rolled until he was on top, his legs straddling Ken’s hips and arms so he couldn’t move. “This feels familiar,” he laughed.
Ken bucked beneath him. “Damn it, Brady, this isn’t funny. Why are you here?”
“Because you need me.”
He stilled at that. “I don’t. I’m backing off, for the moment anyway. I’m rebuilding and recoding and— They won’t try anything now. I have time to find out who—”
“No.” Brady shook his head, cutting off Ken’s words. “Not for that.”
“What else?” Ken’s eyes were slightly dilated and his breathing was shallow. “I mean, I don’t need any—”
Brady kissed him. Closed his eyes and felt everything inside him melt when Ken sucked his tongue deep into his mouth as if he couldn’t help himself. As if he’d missed him just as much. Yes. Something that strong didn’t go away overnight.
He lifted his head and Ken moaned, shaking his head. “That doesn’t prove anything. I don’t I need you. And you don’t need the trouble I’d come with.”
Brady looked into Ken’s eyes and smiled. “You thought you knew what we needed before. You thought sending me away was the right thing to do, but you were wrong. I know exactly what you need.”
“Sex won’t solve these problems.”
“You need someone who isn’t intimidated by that brain of yours, or that mouth,” Brady was trying to ignore that mouth so he could finish. “You need to be dragged to chaotic family dinners and get the third degree from people who care a little too loudly. You need someone who’ll take you by the side of the road, in the shower, anywhere he can have you because he can’t get enough.”
Ken opened his mouth as if to interrupt. Brady couldn’t touch him like he wanted through his gloves, so he kissed him again. When they were both breathless, he lifted his head and whispered, “You don’t need to be alone, genius. What you need is someone who loves you. Someone who didn’t think he could love like this. Not this much. Not so completely. And that’s me, Tanaka. I’m the right guy for the job. The only guy. I also still happen to be unemp—”
“Shut up.” Golden eyes closed and Ken took a shivering breath. When he opened them again, Brady saw something in them that gave him reason to hope. “I need my arms back, Finn.”
“Shit. Sorry.” He rolled, getting to his feet and bringing the strap of one glove up to his teeth. He was already edgy, and aroused from being this close to Ken. He didn’t need to add stuck in boxing gloves to that list.
Ken stood up with him. “Give those to me.”
Brady held out his arms.
“How long have you been in here?”
“A few hours.”
“Why didn’t you wait in the loft?”
Brady’s cheeks heated. “I thought this way I wouldn’t really be invading your privacy.”
“So you’d only be breaking in my gym, not my house?” When he nodded, Ken chuckled and reached for the other glove. “You really are a giant Boy Scout.”
He shrugged. “Cops…Marines…we’re all just bigger, older versions. We still get badges when we’re good and everything.”
The last glove came off and then Brady felt Ken’s hand slip inside his boxer shorts, his fingers sliding over his erection. “Have you been good, Brady?”
Fuck. “I might lose my badge if you keep doing that.”
Ken stopped touching him long enough to drag his own shirt off over his head, and then he was pulling Brady’s head down for another kiss. “Fuck the badge.”
Brady groaned and wrapped his arms around Ken’s hot body, turned to press him against the gym wall. That mouth. Damn, he’d missed that talented mouth. He tilted his head and let their tongues tangle, his hands brushing Ken’s as they both fought to get his pants unbuttoned.
“I should shower.”
“Don’t you fucking dare.”
“Upstairs,” Brady gasped. “The lube’s upstairs.”
Kicking off his pants, Ken turned in Brady’s arms to face the wall and then thrust back with his hips as he bent forward. “Now. Fuck me right now, Brady. I can’t wait that long.”
Brady shuddered. “Tanaka…”
“Finn, please. Don’t make me take you down. Fuck me.”
That was all he needed to hear. He gripped Ken’s hips, spread his cheeks with his thumbs and dropped to his knees, sliding his tongue wetly over that tight hole he loved. So good. He wanted to make this good.
“Yes,” Ken moaned. “Damn it, Finn you make me crazy. You don’t know how many times I thought about th—God. Do you want me to beg again? I’ll beg.” Brady pushed his tongue inside Ken’s ass.
“Christ, yes, okay, I’m begging you. I need that big, thick cock in my ass. Don’t you remember how tight it was? How good? I need it. I need you to fuck me until I forget my name, forget you weren’t here—yes. Brady, baby, please.”
Climbing up to stand on shaky legs, Brady wet his palm with his tongue, sliding it over his erection. Ken’s cries had destroyed the restrai
nt he’d been clinging to, and now Tanaka was going to get what he’d asked for.
They both shouted when he thrust inside, muscles wound tight and shaking as he filled and stretched Ken’s ass until he was all the way in.
“Brady.”
“Fuck. No, Ken don’t move.”
But Ken wouldn’t listen, pushing his hips back and swiveling them seductively. He looked over his shoulder and Brady saw the wild need, the mischief in his eyes. “If you don’t want me to move, Finn, then hold me down.”
Brady dragged them both to their knees and pushed Ken down until his face met the floor, then held him there with a hard grip on the back of his neck, under his braid. “Like that?”
“Yes.”
He’d needed this so much. Needed Ken. He’d wanted this to be perfect, instead he was covered in sweat and pinning his lover to the ground like an animal ready to rut.
“Fuck,” he swore, gripping Ken’s shoulder tightly with his free hand as he gave in to the call of the damn wild.
“Yeah. Oh, Brady, you’re so good. I can’t get enough. Faster. Yes, like that. Don’t stop fucking me. Don’t stop. Never stop.”
Never. He would never fucking stop. Brady flexed his ass and pumped his hips in a rhythm that was no longer controlled. He felt primal. Possessive. His fingers tightened and Ken quaked beneath his touch.
“Mine,” Brady muttered low and dangerous.
“Yes,” Ken moaned back. “Yes, you bastard, I’m yours.”
Ken’s easy submission stole the last of his control. “Say it again.”
“Anything you want. I’ll do anything. I’m yours, Brady. Fuck, I’m—”
Ken cried out and Brady knew he was coming. Knew he had to join him. “Yes.”
Mine.
Brady wasn’t sure how long he’d laid there on the floor, wrapped around his lover, his cock still buried inside him.
His. Ken was his.
He hasn’t said it back.
“You’ve started thinking already,” Ken murmured, clearly amused. “I’m impressed, Finn. I’m still not sure I have.”
“I was thinking about negotiating a scene.” Hopefully he’d worded that correctly.
