Reality: The Struggle for Sternessence

by Daniel A. Liut

  Laida sipped her seeb. “As far as I know, we haven’t. The last we heard from him was that short message he sent a couple of weeks ago.”

  “Mission completed according to alternative plan,” Clara recited.

  “The same. Nobody has heard from him since. But you know how he is. He likes to disappear, as if he didn’t exist.”

  “Right.” Clara smiled.

  “He was reporting from the Aggar section,” Laida added.

  Clara tilted her head quizzically.

  “You know, the Zwilitian Star Fields.”

  “So, Aggar section; this must be the new normalized nomenclature. I guess I’ll have to bring myself up to speed with it. I’ll get a file with the new classification from the comm station today.”

  “Hasn’t Victor brought one up to you yet?”

  Clara delayed her answer. “I guess it’s in that card, over there.” She pointed at the small desk by her bed.

  Laida smiled. “You shouldn’t postpone checking your mail.”

  Clara grinned.

  “I wouldn’t want to intrude in your personal life—”

  “Please, Laida.”

  “It is about Lieutenant Commander Victor.”

  “What about him?” Clara blushed.

  “Well, in Armonia94 you were assigned together on the same mission. Later, during the navigation between Armonia and Karisol, I noticed that Victor liked to spend time with you. But lately I haven’t seen you talking much to each other.” Laida sipped some of her seeb. “Besides, to be frank, Victor doesn’t seem to be quite the same.”

  “I don’t think you should worry about that.”

  “I am the X.O., responsible for the morale of my crew, and one of my officers is not behaving as usual.”

  Clara filled her cup and Laida’s with more seeb. “True, after the mission on planet Armonia, Victor started showing interest. In the beginning, I didn’t pay much attention.

  “A couple of weeks ago, he invited me over to the officer’s mess for a cup of amis. I was not in the mood, but he’s always been such a gentleman that I felt obliged. At some point of our rather casual conversation, he suddenly confessed his feelings and said he’d like to have a special friendship with me.” Clara paused. “I didn’t know what to say.”

  “Surely Victor is a handsome man, and a true gentleman,” Laida commented.

  “He took me by surprise. That’s why I really didn’t know what to say. His feelings had been evident before; I knew I had to talk to him, to sort of make things clear? But I didn’t want to hurt him. I wanted to wait until finding the right occasion. That was a mistake.”

  “What did you say to him?”

  “That I already loved another man, and that I already had a special friendship with him.”

  Laida nodded. “How did he react to that?”

  “He asked me if that man was Dahncion.”

  “He doesn’t know him personally, does he?” Laida inquired.

  Clara shook her head.95 “He said he could imagine the feelings that I may have for someone like Dahncion, yet we belonged to very different realities, different universes.” Clara sighed. “You can guess my answer.”

  Laida moved her knees together from side to side, holding them with her hands. “Knowing you, I guess you said something along the lines of how you already loved Dahncion, and that was that.”

  Clara chuckled. “I said I appreciated his words, the nobility of his intentions, but that my affection for Dahncion is something deeper than my feelings, something very real I can’t explain. I also told him that I had considered many things very carefully—especially the fact of our being from different universes.”

  There was a moment of silence, partially filled with the sound of the old-fashioned seebpot brewer. Clara’s surrogate mother had given it to her adopted daughter before her embarking in the war. The seebpot had been in the Veritian family for many generations.

  “Your love for Dahncion is strong, and pure . . .” Laida paused and reclined on her chair. “But it could be premature to take it beyond friendship.”

  “I don’t think so,” Clara replied harshly. “I fell in love with Dahncion soon after meeting him. At first, I knew he didn’t feel what I felt for him.” Clara shrugged. “I knew he was adapting to a new life, to a whole new universe. It was not the time for romance yet.

  “The last night we were together, in Iluminia, we spent time walking around the campground,96 talking about many things. He said he liked me and that he was very thankful for everything I had done for him; that he would never forget I had saved his life, twice.” Clara lowered her eyes. “He said he knew I loved him, that he was still adapting to his new life, here—that his feelings towards me were growing stronger every day.

  “I asked him how he regarded our friendship already. He said that he didn’t believe in uneven loves, that whoever is not loved with the intensity he or she loves suffers for it, that he needed more time to be sure he could love me the way he said I deserved to be loved.

  “I wanted to say that I didn’t care about suffering for him, if I had to. But I just kept looking into his eyes.” Clara paused with a thoughtful stance.

  “I understand. We are quite alike in many ways.” Laida nodded slightly. “But I think there are certain things you might have to consider more carefully and—I know it’s not easy—objectively.”

  “I’ve been thinking a lot,” Clara said.

  “Like you said, Dahncion needed to adapt. And yet, regardless of how much he may adapt, he still comes from a different universe.” Laida raised an eyebrow. “Someday, he might want, or even need, to go back to his world. Even if he liked to take you along, that might just not be possible. The bio-assimilation is non-symmetrical. Assuming your size and body functions could be adjusted to that of a human being from Earth—which is a big assumption with our current technology—you would still retain your tori complexion. And it might not even be possible for you to be exposed to the new environment without harm.

  “If Dahncion—hypothetically—would someday want to marry you, it would be he who would most likely have to stay here, and that might not be the best for him. His being among us is mostly due to an immense conflict. But eventually this will come to an end, and Dahncion may very well have to leave us.”

  Laida paused and gazed into her friend’s eyes; Clara lowered hers. “His feelings towards you are still not clear, Clara. He is right: it is not truly love yet. Love meets in one truth, not two.

  “You have a deep . . . profound . . . capacity for love.” Laida opened her arms. “And to fall in love. I would not like to see you suffer for trying to be part of a love—a mutual love—that just wasn’t there yet.”

  The time for Clara’s watch was getting closer, and Laida had yet to discuss a few details about the upcoming mission. So she decided to set aside personal matters for a moment. “O’sihn still has to confirm this, but you—along with nine of us—have been included in the landing team for Aquaelight. Non-conventional pods will be used for reentry. The operation is scheduled five days from today.”

  “Acknowledged, Commander.”

  “I thought you’d have some special reasons to get down to this particular planet, so I put your name down in the list of recommended officers.”

  Clara smiled. “I can hardly wait.”

  “Well.” Laida put her cup on Clara’s desk. “I guess you need to

  start getting ready for your watch.”

  “I needed this conversation—with a friend,” Clara said, taking Laida’s hand.

  “We can talk more about this later,” Laida added, and headed to the door.

  “I don’t want to take more of your time,” Clara said. “But there is something I’d like to share with you—short, but important to me.”

  Laida turned back from the door.

  “I understand your concern. I appreciate it so much.” Clara nodded. “But I do love Dahncion. That’s just the way it is. I will always love him.”

&n
bsp; In humans, such statements, even when honest and full of ideals, are often the product of a temporary, though sometimes prolonged, emotional state. But Clara’s last words sounded like a stream of pure light, the type that could not be ignored.

  51.

  As Laida walked towards the bridge, her mind went over the conversation she had just had with her friend. Had she used the right words? Had she said all the things she had to say, or perhaps she had said too much? Had it been the right moment for such a talk?

  As she pondered Clara’s last statement, a visible concern crystallized in her expression. It brought back to her mind the last words a Veritian admiral had said to Clara a few weeks before, after a brief inspection on board the Intrepid. Laida slowed down, reflecting on the traditional salute the admiral had used, customary among Veritian marines. As she thought of that, a hidden jewel within the phrase lit up her eyes: “Yes, my friend, stern strength, if at war.”

  The X.O. stepped onto the bridge. Her last thought was left alone in space where it had materialized, perhaps as a beacon of things that were meant to be, the way they were given to be.

  Yes, since in Veritas, in the vast and marvelously far-reaching culture of Veritas, everybody knew that in the original ancient tongue, at war and in love were pronounced just the same.

  52.

  The elevator was going up with the characteristic slow cadence of any Australitian elevator, its destination the eighteenth floor. Right above it, a large heliport crowned the building. Nobody was there.

  An official had told Duncan, in a short telephone conversation, that his unexpected, upcoming trip was closely related to other unexpected, upcoming events he could not yet reveal. For a moment, Duncan had thought of calling Erina on the phone, but he changed his mind. He had just asked the building manager to tell her about his trip after he had left, and that he would contact her as soon as he could.

  Now, as he waited at the heliport, Duncan wondered if he had done the right thing. During the past few days, he had noticed his own tendency to overprotect Erina. Though she had been living in the current universe for about two months, it was too soon yet to expect her to be adjusted either to the new cultures, or to the universal war. Duncan would often think that the course of events—constant attacks, meetings with Aquaelitian officials, training for potential enemy incursions—was applying more pressure than she, or anybody else, could take. But, then again, perhaps his growing feelings were starting to influence his objectivity. Erina was an intelligent woman, very independent, and she did seem to be adapting very well and very fast. Duncan would find enticing new facets of her personality every day.

  “If only Clara . . .” Duncan thought, and shook his head slightly. “Every person is different,” he redirected his mind. “We must accept people the way they are.”

  The woman from Veritas was still present in Duncan’s heart. Her spontaneous faithfulness and simplicity, the pure, almost naïve love she had showed towards him had inspired in Duncan a special affection for her. And yet, her external appearance, her childish drawing-like features . . . Duncan rejected the perception once again, and once again he felt the same strange sense of embarrassment, plus a new dose of conflicting feelings.

  Looking at the skyline with its tall and predominantly bluish buildings, Duncan let his mind drift back to Erina. He did seem to share many things in common with her. Both coming from the same old Earth, they were apparently the first to have traveled to a different universe outside their own. There was common ground even in apparently trivial matters, Duncan realized. All that, combined with Erina’s noticeable external appeal, made it desirable for him to have a much closer friendship with her.

  Yes, that was very enticing, much as it would crush Clara’s heart. Why did it worry him that much? He did not seem to have a good answer. But certainly the woman from Veritas still managed to touch his feelings in a mysterious way.

  Skyscrapers loomed above, boasting twice as many floors as those back on Earth. The imposing view of Austral City met Duncan’s homesick gaze. The city’s engineering standards were multiplied by a factor of two or even four, consistent with the size of its citizens. There was no pavement on the streets: instead, a smooth and compact ice was constantly kept in shape by an army of ice groomers. Street vehicles had many similarities with those familiar to Duncan on Earth. Private cars would typically carry four to six occupants, and they usually had four doors. All of them had radios, stereos, and even lighters mostly used for some cigar-like canes or sweektoclots, which produced a sweet innocuous substance in one’s mouth97. The smell reminded Duncan of spruce trees, very abundant in his hometown.

  In addition to the ice groomers and private automobiles, there were public transportation buses, police vehicles, and ambulances. Besides their size and robustness, the main distinctive feature was that, instead of wheels, they had synchronized articulated skates that moved to provide propulsion and direction. There were no tire problems in Austral City, or any other city of the Austral Union.

  From behind a tall building, about ten blocks away, a massive helicopter appeared, rapidly approaching the heliport. The aircraft looked heavily armed, with military marks on its sides. Duncan hurried up inside a small shelter beneath the level of the landing platform. Except for the shelter, he would have been easily blown away by the powerful drafts stirred by the spinning blades.

  The helicopter landed on top of the building, idling its engines rapidly. An aft hatch opened, and a bear-like soldier with a blue beret—somehow fixed to his head —jumped out right away. Leaving the shelter, Duncan approached the vehicle with caution. The Australitian hurried to meet him.

  “Mister Dahncion?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  The soldier saluted politely. “Colonel Ber-Meglacontl.”

  “Good morning, Colonel.” Duncan’s words were obscured by the sound of the engines and the blades.

  “Ready?”

  Duncan nodded, squinting his eyes.

  “You may board the aircraft!” the Australitian shouted through the very loud sound of the idling engines.

  “I’ll try!” Duncan yelled, looking up at the massively powerful sluggish blades whirring twenty feet above the platform. With no further ado, he lowered his head and ran inside the vehicle.

  53.

  Once again, Captain O’sihn checked the coordinates on his G.G.F.98 Three minutes had passed since the first capsule should have hit the ice. There was no reason to be worried yet; everything was still within the expected time margins. But there were many unknowns about the Establishment’s activity in the quadrant, which increased the risk of an operation that was not standard to begin with.

  Colonel Meglacontl had been assigned to the reception of the incoming Realitian team. One day before, he had picked up O’sihn, the first to arrive in a landing capsule. Today they had flown back to a widely uninhabited area where the landing of the rest of the team was scheduled to take place.

  O’sihn looked to the sky once more. It was a clear evening, with the local sun hovering close steadily above the horizon. The tangential path of the sunrays through the thick polar atmosphere turned the star’s dazzling brilliance into a muted icy glow. The light was still capable of projecting long and wavy shadows across the frozen wilderness, which extended over an endless plain to the pristine horizon.

  As Captain O’sihn checked his G.G.F. for the umpteenth time, a tapping on one shoulder made him turn around. He looked back at Colonel Meglacontl, and immediately to the sky.

  A smile of relief spread over the captain’s face.

  54.

  It was her twenty-fifth military capsule reentry, but this one was going to be different. Its landing phase was designed to end several hundred feet beneath the surface of a planet. Although Clara99 had spent many hours in the simulator rehearsing the new procedure, it was still not as second nature as other standard routines. In any case, if everything went as expected, the onboard computer would take care of almost everything.
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br />   A display went on and a synthetic voice announced the next phase: “Ten seconds to solid immersion.”

  As Clara focused all her attention on the instrument panel, the capsule hit the ice, stopping moments later deep inside a thick polar glacier. Spinning over, it was finally ready to initiate the emerging phase according to plan.

  The vehicles100 had proven quite successful. Yet when Doctor Caricia Castor had first discussed the project with Doctor Oyhtter, his reaction had not been very encouraging. After listening to her, his only comment had been that she should not spend time and effort researching “fancy methods of preparing scrambled yems.”101 Humor and tact were clearly not among Oyhtter’s talents.

  A few weeks after the exchange, Oyhtter learned that Caricia had already finished and tested a computer model of the vehicle, with very promising results. Oyhtter apologized and assigned an official status with high priority to Doctor Castor’s project.

  Clara’s capsule was now engaged in a slow trip towards the surface, and her thoughts drifted towards the rest of the team. All nine capsules would complete their reentry trajectories during a thirty-hour period, hitting the surface—one at a time—over a widespread area in an uninhabited region of the planet’s south polar continent, according to the native convention. The night previous to the first launch, O’sihn had given her a card with a list of numbers from one to nine, arranged in a column. The first line had O’sihn’s name. Clara took the card without any need for the captain to explain anything else.

  She had first checked with her good friend, the X.O. Not surprisingly, Clara’s name already appeared second after O’sihn’s, which had caused some squabbling with Laida. Eventually, Laida yielded, accepting a third place. It was not easy to have the rest of the team agree in which order each one was to be launched. Everyone seemed to prefer being ahead; waiting for one’s turn only increased anxiety. Clara felt reluctant to resort to her seniority to resolve the matter, and sooner than expected, O’sihn asked for the list. Only three names were still on it. It had been a long day for the captain. With an uneasy glance, he took the card and put together the final sequence right there.