by Jade White
Louis curled up on Katherine’s limp lap. He pulled one of her arms over himself, and he cuddled up onto her chest. He buried his head into her neck, and his crying momentarily stopped. Louis looked happy for the time being, like he got something that he wanted. One last hug.
“Mason!” Lucca called out from behind. “You found her?” His voice was saddened.
“I sent you to make sure she didn’t die!” Mason sobbed. Slowly, he laid her corpse back on the ground. He removed his son from Katherine’s body, and Louis started to cry all over again. Mason didn’t think he would ever stop crying.
“We were distracted helping her!” Erik said getting in front of Lucca. His rainbow eyes singled out to one violet shade. He looked Mason up and down, his nostrils flaring.
“You shouldn’t have been distracted. She’s dead now.” Mason pointed at Katherine’s corpse. He felt his beast getting ready to erupt. It wasn’t happy with the turn of events. It wasn’t happy with Katherine being dead.
“Mason, she saved Louis, and us,” Torrent calmly said. He walked over to Mason, putting his hand on his shoulder. “She did more than any of us could. If it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t have a wife, son, or brothers.” Torrent pulled Mason close, patting him on the back. Slowly, he took Louis from his arms. “Gather her. We will give her a proper burial.”
Katherine didn’t deserve to be left with all of the remains of her people. They did nothing good for her. They caused her more misery, and more pain than he’d ever seen. She deserved to be at peace, in a place where she found peace for possibly the first time in her life.
Mason scooped Katherine up into his arms. He tried to move, but couldn’t. He only looked down at her. So much of his strength was drained at the sight of her ghostly figure. So much of his sanity was ripped away because of her death.
He didn’t want this. He didn’t want her to be dead. He didn’t want to be left alone. There was no one else who could amass to her. There was no one who could even begin to try and replace her.
Mason met her as a slave, and bought her to be his wife. It was strange to think the first time they ever talked was aggressively. It was strange to think that he tried to make her go against her nature. It was strange to think that he fell in love with her at the mere sight of her. It was strange to think that the two of them were separated by the one thing that was meant to bring them together. It was strange to think that his only remaining memories of her was her clothes in his closet, a burnt room, and a child that would spend the rest of the night screaming for his mother.
Mason took a step forwards. His legs were weak and shaky. He didn’t know if he could carry his wife’s corpse back to his home. He would try though. Mason took another step forwards, almost falling to his knees. His friends were there to pick him up.
Erik and Lucca were there, their arms under Mason’s. They took on his weight. They tried to help with Katherine, but he wouldn’t allow them. Katherine was his woman. She was his bounty, and no one else’s. He wouldn’t dare to share the unnerving guilt. My fault.
*
Mason didn’t know how to bury a phoenix. He didn’t know if there were any rituals that were special to the event. He had a raised slab of stone specially made for her. It had carvings of fire and angels dancing around in circles.
She laid peacefully. Her skin had grown even more pale, her freckles completely disappearing. Her eyes had dark shadows under them, and parts of her facial features were sunken in. Mason dressed her in the first clothes of his she wore in his home. He had her hair pulled back into a single braid, and it fell ever so delicately over her shoulder.
Mason tried to refuse his friends the chance to watch him burn her corpse. They refused to let him be alone. Erik, Torrent and Lucca were better men than he deserved to have as friends. They were understanding of him, and even more so of how particular he wanted to be with her.
Torrent passed a torch down to Mason. It ran through each man before it finally got to him. Mason’s heart sank into his stomach. Looking down at Katherine, he got a flush of each memory he had of her.
She was naked the first time they met. She was so scared on that stage. Katherine looked like she wanted an escape, and after being thrown into a crowd of woman-hungry shape shifters, she was so close to finding it until she stumbled into him. The moment their eyes met, Mason knew there was something more to her than her smoky grey eyes, and timid personality.
Katherine was consistent in smart ass things to say. She was consistent in surprising him. He never knew what to expect from her, and he sure as hell didn’t expect her to be such a goddess. The night they first slept together, was more than he expected, and more than he could have ever gotten from any woman.
She gave him a child, a beautiful son. Katherine was fiercely protective of him. In fact, she was so fierce towards his safety she killed any threats towards him without any regret or heed towards her own beliefs. She went above and beyond for him, and got so frustrated when she couldn’t figure out how to make him stop crying. All Katherine ever wanted was for Louis to be happy and safe. She gave up her life for him.
Now, here they stood, gazing over her corpse. She told him many times that when phoenixes died, they returned to the place they were created. Hell. Mason didn’t think she would go to hell though. She didn’t deserve that. Katherine belonged in the heavens with the angels and gods that looked over all of the supernatural world and the natural world. The gods and angels that looked over the immortals and the mortals that once worshipped them, and the ones that still did.
Louis didn’t need to see this, but he screamed and cried when Mason tried to put him down for bed. He wanted to see his mother pass completely, body and soul. Mason didn’t want him here, but here he was, resting in his arms.
Louis’s head was buried in Mason’s neck. His eyes were barely fixated on Katherine. This was just as painful for him, as it was for Mason. He took Louis’s hand and put it on the torch. Together, they reached over, and put the flames to a bed of twigs beneath her.
They watched as the flames licked her up and down. They watched as the fire slowly consumed her flesh, burning and tearing through the clothes that dressed her. The fire danced all around her, so delicately.
Mason gazed into the fire. The longer he stared at it, the more he saw her face in it. She seemed to stare back at him and Louis, smiling. Mason couldn’t help but smile back at her, his eyes tearing up. She looked so lovely, so angelic. As fast as she appeared, she disappeared, the crackling embers taking her up into the air.
Louis reached into the sky, opening and closing his hands. “Bye-bye, Mommy,” he said. He had cried so much; his little voice was nasal.
The fire extinguished itself, dying out with a burst of low energy. It left nothing but ashes, and those blew away into the air, dancing around Mason and Louis. Good-bye. He held his son even closer, wiping away his droplets of tears. “Come on,” he said to his men. “I have work to do.”
“Mason, do you think it’s best to start working?” Erik sounded generally concerned. “You just lost your wife.” Mason didn’t need to be reminded.
He needed to separate himself from this. He needed to get away from the stone slab. He needed to bury himself in his work, and new duties. He had a horde to figure out how to run. He had a son to raise, and he needed to make sure he did both of them properly. “Yes, I’m sure.”
He stalked away from his friends, widening each stride as best as he could. Mason rounded the corner of the home, and stopped for the briefest moment. She was there again, staring him and his son down. Her head was shaking. Mason pushed by her, stomping onto his front porch. He shoved the doors open, and sat Louis down on the floor.
He had work that needed to be done. He had work that he could bury himself in to distract himself. He would do his best to do so, and do his best not to finish it too hastily.
*
Death wasn’t as bad as Katherine thought it would be. She got to do so much more than other sou
ls got to do. She got to watch over her beloved husband and her darling son. They were not doing what she intended for them to do.
Mason hardly spent any time with Louis. It seemed as though Torrent, Erik and Lucca were raising her son. They had grown very bitter with him after he became alpha. She did her best to try and guide him as much as she could, but he was too stubborn to listen.
It didn’t take long before someone had to put Mason in his place. Katherine didn’t think it would be Louis though. Her husband was acting like a child, and it was only right for a child to tell him so.
Louis had grown so fast. He looked no more than four or five, but he was so handsome. He resembled too much of Mason, but acted very much like her. She wondered if that was painful for Mason.
It took a better part of a year for Mason to finally gather himself properly. It took a better part of a year for him to realize that she sacrificed herself for them. It took him a better part of a year for him to realize she wanted him and Louis to be happy, healthy, and safe. That she wanted them to know she was always watching over them.
Being stuck as nothing more than as wisp―a spirit of memory, and magic―was dreadfully painful. She couldn’t touch anything. She was only meant to give direction to people who were severely lost. Mason was severely lost. He lost his way with everything.
Katherine tried her best to make sure he was able to understand what was put in front of him. She tried to teach him to make decisions with forgiveness, compassion and love. He was completely incapable. She saw that now, and Katherine started to hate herself for leaving him to something he wasn’t ready for. He would never be ready for his trials and tribulations―both those that passed and those that were yet to come.
There were other wisps in the area that tried to offer her their guidance. They didn’t seem to understand the situation her loved one was in. Katherine tried her best to explain what Mason was going through, and all the errors he was committing, despite her guidance. She tried to explain the damage that he was going to do to their son if he didn’t learn. No one seemed to want to listen. No one but one.
He was an older spirit. She recognized him as the driver that took Mason and her to the house on her first night. It was a sad thing that he died. He looked happy though. He was happy. He got to watch his family grow for the rest of eternity.
He told her to enter the home. He told her to force her spirit to take form again. He said she would be bound to the house instead of being able to roam freely, but that she would be able to make physical contact with Mason. He told her she’d be more than capable of doing what she needs to do, and live out a fair amount of time―as a mortal―before her time came. Katherine didn’t care. She wanted Mason to know that she was still around to help him.
Now, here she was. Her feet were waiting at the doorstep, anxiously waiting Katherine’s next command. She didn’t know what to do from here. She didn’t know how to force her spirit to take human form again. She didn’t even know where to begin. How was she supposed to do something like this?
Katherine took a step to the door, then another. She fazed through the wooden material, taking in a deep breath. She could feel the small splinters in her skin, and it hurt. It felt good to feel pain for once.
Katherine looked around for a few moments. Nothing had changed. No one changed, except for Louis. He was still growing, but he did slow down. Erik was staring at the fireplace, talking to her son, and telling him about what he could possibly do if he came in contact with his powers. Torrent was busy playing pool by himself, and Lucca was busy reading a book. Above, on the second floor, Mason was gazing down at his friends. There was a glass of liquor in his hands.
She shook her head at him. He started drinking again. Nothing good happened when he was drinking the substance. Katherine feared the damage that it was already doing to him.
The last time Mason drank, he downed a bottle a day to drown his sorrows. She imagined it was worse now that she wasn’t around.
Katherine sighed, making her way up the stairs, stomping. No one bothered to look at her. No one noticed her presence, though her footsteps were rather heavy as she trekked upwards. Katherine stomped even louder as she got closer to Mason. Still no one bothered to notice. It was infuriating.
He was so close. She could touch him. She could smell his liquor-stained breath, and alcohol-soaked skin. Mason had gotten out of control, and she worried about his well-being.
Katherine slowly reached for the glass, summoning as much strength as she could. She tried to take the glass of liquor from his hand, but she couldn’t grip it. She didn’t know why she couldn’t grip it. She couldn’t even feel it the way she felt the door. The steps.
Stupid. She scorned herself. So stupid. Katherine shook her head, scrubbing her hand down her face. She groaned, hoping he would hear her. Mason remained deaf and blind to her existence. Everyone did.
This was it. She wouldn’t be able to guide him the way he needed. She wouldn’t able to prevent him from destroying himself, and it frustrated her. Katherine wanted to scream, she wanted to release all her aggression. She held it in though. She didn’t want it to escape, she didn’t need it to escape.
Katherine put her hands on the railing of the second-floor balcony. She could feel the material even more. She could grip it, and hold onto it. She could shake it, she even tried. That was it. Her emotions would have to be the strength she’d draw from to make him see her. Her emotions would be her tether back into the realm of the living.
Katherine reached again for his glass, and took it this time. She tossed it down below, aiming for the fireplace. It was enough to get a reaction out of everyone.
Erik and Louis both turned around, scowling at Mason. They didn’t look happy, Erik most of all. In fact, he started yelling at Mason. He scorned him for the danger he put Louis in, and Mason had no idea what he was talking about.
“You could’ve killed him!” Erik said, picking Louis up. His nostrils were flaring, his rainbow eyes growing with a darkness. “You’re a danger to your own child.”
Mason didn’t say anything or make a complaint. He agreed with Erik. Katherine didn’t want him to think like that. She didn’t want him to give up.
“Get your son,” she whispered into Mason’s ear, running her fingers over his shoulders and down his chest. “You’re no danger to anyone but yourself.” She could feel his skin beneath the tips of her fingers. It felt amazing.
Mason must’ve felt it too because he jumped in response. He stumbled to get away from her, but Katherine followed after him. I only mean good.
Mason ran down the stairs, doing as Katherine commanded. He took Louis from Erik’s arms, and held him close. The little boy fought against him, reaching for Erik. He took him back.
“Your own flesh and blood wants nothing to do with you. How does that feel, alpha?” Erik had become a heartless bastard in the year that passed. He had no respect, and no care for the feelings of others. It made Katherine wonder if he would be the same way for Louis.
Katherine stormed after Erik. She gripped his throat, and could feel the massive muscle in her hand. So much anger flushed her skin beat red. It filled her veins with a desire to kill. Control. She told herself.
“Kat?” Torrent asked. He put his hand on her arm, shaking his head at her. He could see her. He was looking at her, touching her.
She released Erik, removing her son from his arms. “If you weren’t such a consistent bastard, I would’ve been nicer.” Katherine watched him gasp for breath, stumbling to get up.
Louis buried his head into the hollow of her neck, sobbing. She held him close, taking in his warmth. His sweet, and innocent scent of fish sticks and french fries. He had eaten so many of them recently, he wore the smell like a pair of clothes. He would have a bath to wash that away.
“You’re dead,” Mason’s voice said. She turned around to look at him, but stumbled backwards. His eyes were angry, and he looked like he was in mid-shift, his beast forming beneath his
skin. “I burned your body.”
“Do I look dead to you?” Katherine stared him in the eyes, watching a darkness stir in his green depths. His beast’s appearance faded away, leaving only his face to stare at. So much had gone wrong for him. She blamed herself for it.
“You were dead,” Lucca softly said. She could feel him looking at her in confusion. “We all watched you burn, and you didn’t come back.”
“It’s been a year, and now you appear?” Mason was angry. His jaw clenched as he bit down on his cheek. “Why now?” He shook her.
Katherine pushed him away, taking a few steps back. “I watched you all, try and gather yourselves. For the most part you all did good, except for Mason.” Her eyes narrowed to two thin slits. “With the path you were heading on, you were going to destroy everything I died to give you and Louis. I had enough sitting back, and waiting for you to clean up your act. I tried to help you, but you were so stupid and pig-headed! You wouldn’t listen to any of my warnings, not even the ones regarding our son.” She slapped him across the face. It felt good... Every little sensation felt good.
Mason growled at her, and instantly she was swarmed by Erik, Torrent and Lucca. They protected her, making sure that both her and Louis were okay.
“You can’t do things like that to him,” Torrent said as he shoved Mason backwards. “He’s become a bit of a hothead.”
“I can deal with hotheads.” Katherine sat Louis down on the ground. “Him especially.” She nudged between the three men, barely managing to get through.
“Stupid woman,” Mason mumbled.
“This stupid woman is the only thing that’s going to keep you sane.” She walked towards him. Katherine reached up and caressed his cheek. He shook her off but she returned her hand to where it was. “Do you feel me? Do you see me?”
Mason shook his head. “You’re dead.”
Katherine took his hand in hers and put it on her chest, just above her growing heartbeat. She looked him in the eyes, searching their murky depths. “Does this feel dead to you?” She brushed a kiss against his lips. “I am alive as much as you are.”
