by Jade White
Neither of them moved for a while. Kim sighed contentedly, her body buzzing with happiness. I could stay like this forever, she thought dreamily.
At once, Luke pulled out of her and stood. He laughed at the disappointed look on Kim’s face.
“We can’t stay like that forever, even if we really want to,” he said, echoing her thoughts. “We might get stuck.”
Holy crap, maybe he can read my mind. Kim wrinkled her nose at him and sat up, reaching for her robe. “Fine. Make yourself at home, okay? I should shower anyway.”
Luke made an expression of mock outrage. “So I made you dirty?”
Kim smiled and looked him squarely in his eye. “Not dirty enough.”
When she got out of the shower ten minutes later, she almost ran straight into Luke, who had been waiting at the door.
“Hey!” She yelped. “What are you doing?”
“Your arm,” he said tersely. “Let me see it.”
A moment passed before Kim remembered what he was talking about. She shook the sleeve of her robe away from her forearm to show him her cut--
--but it wasn’t there.
“It’s gone,” she said wonderingly. “It’s just gone.”
“You’re healing almost like a vampire,” Luke said. “I don’t know how this is happening.”
“Is it the bond?” Kim asked numbly. “Or maybe being near you?”
“Maybe,” Luke said. Doubt was clear in his voice. “But like I said, I can’t be sure, because the kind of bonds that give humans power like this are the ones that need bites to be sealed. And the other ones are normally a sign that the human is...different. A natural magnifier, kind of. But those are almost unheard of, and they almost always mean some kind of trouble.”
Kim laughed nervously. “So, what? Am I some kind of freak?”
“You’re not a freak,” Luke said sternly. “You’re different. Keep in mind that we don’t know everything about human and vampire bonds.”
Kim nodded, trying to force her heart out of her mouth and back down into her chest.
Luke put one hand on her waist and cupped her chin with the other. “Hey, I mean it. It’s fine.” He glanced at the clock on the wall. “Shit. I gotta go meet up with the Vampire Fight Club, but look – it’s going to be fine. This is probably nothing to worry about.” He pulled her close to him, and she pressed her ear to his chest, oddly comforted by his incredibly slow heartbeat.
But as he left, she couldn’t help but wonder if the strange vibration emanating from him was what a liar’s aura felt like.
Chapter Five
“So...you guys are really ‘together together’?”
Kim made a face, then remembered Suzanna couldn’t see her expression over the phone. “You don’t need to be so high school about it! Yes, we’re together. It’s not just casual sex. He’s going to be here for the baby. He’s here for me.”
Her voice was harsher than she meant it, and she realized she was still upset about Suzanna’s remark the week before. Get it together, Kimberly. You’re better than this.
Suzanna had already caught on. “I’m sorry again,” she said fretfully. “I really don’t mean to be poking holes in this. It’s just, there’s a baby involved, and you guys are moving really fast--”
“I know,” Kim said, softening. “I’m jumpy, too. I’m scared out of my fucking mind, Suz. But we can’t help the speed we’re moving at, it’s almost definitely the bond.”
Suzanna was silent for a moment. When she spoke again, there was a smile in her voice. “Almost definitely? Why, Kimberly Moody--are you in looove?”
She pictured Luke’s face, and her heart did a somersault in response. “God. Is there even a difference between a love bond and...real love, whatever that means?”
“Do you care?” Suzanna countered.
Kim paused. “No,” she realized. “I don’t. This feels incredible and I want to keep going with it. I really don’t care where it’s coming from.”
Suzanna laughed. “That’s the Kim I know. Well, do you want my opinion?”
Kim chuckled. “I don’t know, do I?”
“Fair point,” Suzanna said promptly. “But yeah, it might be useful to get an outsider’s perspective. It helps me when I feel I’m in over my head.”
Kim took a breath. “Okay, shoot.”
The smile was back in Suzanna’s voice. “You’ve never been like this in a relationship. Even when they were good, you were never you-- which is why I always thought you didn’t like them. You were always changed in some fundamental way.” She stopped and seemed to be mulling over her words before continuing. “This seems to be different, though. Not just because it’s new or with a vampire. There’s something about this man that you really seem to click with on a level I can’t even see. You should see your face when you talk about him.”
Kim groaned, but Suzanna laughed.
“It’s not bad,” her best friend said. “Because it’s not some puppy-love version of you. It’s you, but...alive in a way I’ve never seen you before. It’s really you. And so while I think that either you’re right to not care if it’s a bond or not, I don’t think this is a simple bond.” Suzanna paused, and her voice was careful when she spoke again. “And that’s the real reason I’m afraid.”
Kim didn’t know what to say. “Wow.”
“Yeah, wow.”
A knock from the front door made Kim jump and almost drop her phone. “Oh! That’s him, I gotta go.”
Suzanna laughed. “Okay! Love you, bye!”
“Love you!” Kim hung up and bounded to the front door, flinging it open so fast Luke was in mid-knock when they came face to face.
“Hi,” he said, eyes widening when he saw her outfit. “Um. I thought we were staying in?”
Kim touched her curled hair and looked down at her dark green dress with its cinched waist and low scoop neck. “Oh, we are. I just thought I’d wear something classier than a bathrobe this time.”
He walked in, closed the door, and took her by the waist, pressing her against the wall as he kissed her hungrily. He moved so quickly that she only had a second to take in his tall, muscular frame before it was grinding against her. Kim was too stunned to remember to breathe; his hands had slid up under her dress and cupped her ass before she knew what was happening, and she focused on matching the motion of his darting tongue.
Oh my God, Suzanna’s right, she thought deliriously, wrapping her arms around his neck and parting her thighs to let his body press into her more firmly. This is something different. I don’t know what the fuck this is.
Luke pulled back from the kiss, gasping, his eyes blazing with desire. He took a step away from her, and then another, his pained expression implying he was using every ounce of strength he had.
Kim blinked, bewildered. “What? What’s going on?”
“Every time I see you we end up ravishing each other for more than half our visit. Let’s have one where we at least start the visit normally, okay?”
Kim laughed, but the humor faded when she saw he was being serious. “Oh, shit. Fine,” she grumbled, glaring at him. “I hardly think that’s fair, after you kissing me like that, but okay.”
Luke smiled and looked toward the bedroom. “Is Evan here?”
“No, he’s out with Daisy. They’ll be back soon, though.” Evan was warming to Luke quickly; Kim was glad, but also nervous about the attachment. What if things didn’t work out?
Luke’s smiled had faded. “What’s wrong?”
Shit. I forgot about my aura. Kim sighed, digging around for the right words. “It’s just--”
At that moment, the front door unlocked and Daisy walked in, bouncing a cooing Evan in her arms. Luke’s face brightened immediately, and so did Kim’s; Evan had grown to nearly the size of a one year old, and his chocolate brown hair was floppy and past his ears. He grinned and stretched his chubby hands toward his father as Daisy closed the door behind her. Daisy had on a bright yellow hat that clashed horribly with her
orange hair and wore a smile to match Evan’s – until her sharp green eyes fell on Luke.
The atmosphere in the room changed in an instant. Tension filled the air, so thick Kim thought she could walk on it. Daisy’s eyes were chilly, and the smile had slipped from her face like bath water draining from a tub. She was standing stock still, her face a mask of cold fury. Kim looked from her to Luke, who was still smiling, albeit very stiffly now.
“Daisy,” she said slowly. “This is Luke, Evan’s father. I told you about him.”
Daisy didn’t look at Kim as she spoke. “Oh, yes. Hello.” Her cheery tone was clearly forced, and Kim had the feeling it was on purpose. “How wonderful of you to drop by.”
She placed her hand on the back of Evan’s head, cradling him to her chest as though she were afraid to drop him. Then she swept past them both, her gaze never leaving Luke as she carried Evan to the bedroom.
As the door slammed behind her, Kim turned to Luke. “Holy shit, the temperature dropped twenty degrees.”
“I should go,” Luke said, an edge of desperation in his voice. “I should-- I should go.”
“No,” Kim said firmly, grabbing his bicep as he moved toward the door. “Listen,” she said, lowering her voice. “She’s a judgmental bitch, okay? She’s upset because, in her point of view, you’re just some vampire who knocked me up and abandoned me for five months. She didn’t even like me until five years after she married Mark. She’ll come around. And until then, I won’t have her chasing you out of my life.”
Luke didn’t quite meet her eye. “I don’t know, Kim. She’s family.”
Kim stared at him, unable to understand why Daisy’s scorn shook him so badly. “Did you hear me? Fuck her. Evan’s my family. You’re my family.”
His eyes caught hers then, and his gaze was so fragile that Kim thought he might shatter into pieces. “You can’t say that. We don’t share any blood. We’re not married.”
“We have a bond,” Kim said, her voice rising. “You said it wasn’t like any you’d ever experienced, or even heard of.” She dug in her heels as he tried to move toward the door again. “We have a bond, Luke! We share something special!”
Luke stopped and closed his eyes. When he spoke, it was so low Kim almost couldn’t hear him.
“Maybe. Or maybe we just share a child.”
He pulled away, hard, and Kim stumbled backward into the couch. He was out the door before she could regain her balance, and by the time she got to the door, he was out of sight. She stood in the doorway, shaking with anger as the sounds of Daisy playing with Evan floated through the closed door of the bedroom.
What the hell just happened? How did he change tack so fast?
She felt like a bomb had just exploded under her feet, but that wasn’t unfamiliar.
What was new was that for once, she hadn’t set it off.
***
Two days passed with no word from Luke. Kim talked to Suzanna for hours each day, going over each moment to try and figure out what had gone wrong. When she got off the phone, she went over it again in her head, flipping through the frames of her memory to find some hidden subtext she hadn’t read, or a cue she didn’t see, or an emotion she didn’t pick up. It didn't make sense. Luke was hot one moment, and cold the next. He was a textbook 'commitaphobe', but the hot moments felt too real to write off. There had to be a deeper reason for his swinging moods.
The third day came, and Kim called in sick because she hadn’t slept. Being at home was only marginally better than being at work, because Evan was gone in the morning, and she had nothing to do. When Daisy brought him back, he immediately went to sleep, and she was forced to be idle again. Should I call him? Should I just go for a ride and wait for this bond to bring me to him?
Her heart clenched in her chest. Should I just give up?
The front door opened, and she jumped and shrieked.
Luke was standing in the doorway with his hands up, looking apologetic. His black hair was tousled, and he was wearing a worn leather jacket. Kim went through sixty different emotions before settling on anger, but even that was weakened by the tide of lust that rushed in to meet it.
“I didn’t lock it?” Kim asked faintly.
“No,” he said. “You really should.”
Kim glared at him and turned her back on him to sit on the couch. She’d wanted to see him more than almost anything from the moment he’d walked out, but her heart was bruised by his rejection and silence. His parting words had been too hurtful to forget, starkly different from the rosy picture he’d painted only a few days before. She was uneasy for a different reason now; she didn’t know if she could actually trust him.
Luke seemed to sense her anger. He sat next to her, but didn’t touch her, and she’d felt his aura enough times to know that he was filled with remorse. Still, she didn’t look at him as he spoke.
“I owe you an apology.”
Kim snorted.
Luke took a breath. “When your sister in law treated me that way, I got scared. Family is a big influence, even when you don’t want it to be. You can say it’s your life, you can swear you’ll give them no say, but it’s never how it works.” He paused. “It just isn’t. Not for people with human level life spans, anyway.”
Kim finally looked at him. His eyes were flat and shifty, she noticed, never looking in on direction for long. “Okay. I get it, I guess.”
Luke swallowed hard. “I’m really sorry, Kim. I just don’t see a way to work this out.”
Her eyes narrowed. Am I hearing what I think I’m hearing?
Kim stood up. “What are you doing, Luke?”
He dropped his eyes. “Kim. Please, you have to understand--”
“Are you saying you can’t do this?” Anger ballooned in her chest. “Are you backing out? Because my sister in law doesn’t like you?”
Luke stood, patches of pale red on his cheeks as he met her eye. “She hates me, Kim. And she’ll make your brother hate me, too. Then your parents, and then your cousins, and then pretty soon you’ll hate me, too. It won’t work. You’ll leave, because family has a way of making your life bend to their will if they really want to. And this is one of those things families like to bend and break.”
Kim laughed bitterly, and she felt tears spring from her eyes. She knew she looked wild, unbalanced, even, and she didn’t care. “Why don’t you trust me? Have I done something to make you think I’m untrustworthy?”
Luke’s gaze faltered. “No, Kim, it’s not like that.”
“Then why don’t you listen to the words I’m saying?” Luke took a step back, and she realized she must have taken a step forward. “I don’t care what my family thinks. I’m in love with you, you idiot! Why would I want to throw that away? We have a child together, and I want him to know you. I had your baby, Luke, why would I put more weight in their opinion than what’s best for our son?”
“You say that now,” Luke said, drawing himself up taller. “You say that now, but you have no idea what it’s going to feel like. It will be too much for you to bear, and I don’t want to keep hanging on to you if I know you’re just going to leave--”
“You don’t know that!” Kim was yelling now, and she was dimly aware that someone might call the cops if they kept fighting, but the front of her brain wasn’t in charge right now. “You don’t know me, Luke. You don’t. Stop pretending to know what’s best for me!”
Luke set his jaw, a steely glint in his eyes. “Maybe I do.”
Kim wasn’t aware of raising her hands and placing them against Luke’s chest. She wasn’t aware of pushing him as hard as her arms could manage. She felt white-hot rage tearing through her body one moment, and the next moment she was watching Luke fly into the wall opposite her, limbs flailing like some kind of morbid cartoon.
His body crashed into the drywall, knocking several pictures down as his shoulders dented the slick white surface. He slid to the floor, stunned, his mouth wide open – and a look of pure fear on his face. He didn’t mov
e, and a moment of impenetrable silence followed.
Kim finally absorbed what she’d done. She clapped her hands over her mouth and rushed over to him, kneeling in a small sprinkling of broken photo glass as she cradled Luke’s head, looking for bumps or gashes.
“Oh my God, I’m sorry,” she whimpered, running her hands over the back of his head. “Luke, baby, I’m so, so, sorry.”
Evan had begun to wail, but so had she. Luke shook his head roughly, his eyes coming back into focus. He stood and extricated himself from Kim’s grasp.
“I’ll get him,” he said softly.
Kim didn’t respond, she just knelt on the ground, crying.
I am a freak. I’m a monster. What the hell was that? She’d never been a violent person, but she’d never been so angry in her life. Why did everything intensify around him? She couldn’t get his expression out of her mind – he’d never looked afraid in front of her before, and she never wanted to see it again.
You won’t, she thought mournfully. He’s leaving. He’s definitely leaving now.
She managed to slow her tears by the time Luke came back in. Surprisingly, he walked over to her, lifting her from the glass with both hands and carrying her to the couch. Kim looked up at him as he set her down, not daring to trust his sudden tenderness. This guy changes tact like the fucking wind.
He brushed her hair from her eyes and kissed her temple softly. Kim felt a shiver of delight roll through her despite herself, and she swung her legs over his lap, desperate to be close to him. It was like three months had passed without contact, instead of just three days.
“You’re right,” he said finally. “I can’t predict the future. I shouldn’t be thrusting assumptions on you. I have to trust your word just as you trust mine.”
Kim blinked. “I threw you,” she said thickly.
Luke smiled faintly. “Yeah, you did.”
She looked at him seriously, unsure how genuine his flippancy was. “Are you hurt?”
Luke chuckled. “God, no. Don’t get me wrong – you’re stronger than a human should be, obviously. I’m sure it’s the bond.” He looked at her, a sense of curiosity in his gaze. “But it wasn’t hard enough to hurt me. You just shocked me, is all.”
