“Jake,” she pleaded softly. “Please, just leave it.”
“Eve, why do you think I’m here? Do you think that little of me that I’d come for you if I wasn’t in a position to give us an honest shot? I told you I’d come for you. Fuck, honey, don’t we deserve a chance after all the shit we’ve been through?”
Eve yanked her hand away and stepped back. “Jake. On your time. You came when you were ready and I know you had to make sure your family was okay, that Maddelyn was healthy—I understood that. Jesus, I wouldn’t have it any other way. But you came with no consideration for what might be going on in my life. How is you being here right now any different than any other time you’ve come to me? Reached out to me? My God.” She slapped a hand over her forehead and balanced the other on the counter. “What else is going to come up and you’re going to have to leave? You can’t commit to me Jake. You said it yourself.” She glanced up at him as a hated tear slid down her cheek. “I was doing good,” she insisted, taking another step away from him like the more distance she put between them, the truer that statement would become. “I’d accepted we weren’t meant to be.”
He advanced on her slowly. “You’ve accepted we’re not meant to be together? Look me in the eyes and say that.”
“What are you trying to do to me?” Another tear trailed down her cheek to dangle off her chin. “Did you expect to just show up and I’d fall into bed with you? I can’t do that again. I don’t want that.”
The smirk that crossed his gorgeous mouth both pissed her off and set her body aflame. He found this comical? She opened her mouth to tell him to go straight to hell, but the words that came out of his mouth were a shot to the heart and stopped her cold.
“No, baby. I came here expecting you to fall into a life with me. Why else would I get on a fucking plane and come to you? You asked why I didn’t call? This is an in person discussion, Eve. Not a phone call. I found you after sixteen years at the wrong time. I couldn’t commit then. I’m here now, because I can. No strings. No hiding. You and me. It’s not too late. Unless you don’t love me anymore. If that’s the case I’ll accept that, but no fucking way am I leaving here with you thinking I don’t want you—all of you—or that you were ever just a fucking moment to me.”
Eve backed out of the kitchen slowly and into her tiny living room. “Please stop.” She put her hands up as she continued backing away from him. All of a sudden, her quaint little sanctuary of an apartment, which she loved, became a cramped, claustrophobic, and cage-like enclosure.
“No, you wanted answers, here you go, honey. We’re gettin’ this shit straight once and for all. Since I first laid eyes on you, Eve, when you were too fucking young for me to even think about, I was drawn to you. When you were older, it didn’t work out, but there’s never been a time I haven’t wanted you, even when I shouldn’t have. When I hadn’t seen you in years, when I was married to another woman, you’d pop into my fucking head in one way or another out of goddamned nowhere. I think in some fucked up way, I’ve always thought of you as mine.”
Her heartbeat took off at about ninety-miles per hour. The pressure squeezing her chest felt like an anaconda had just wrapped around her torso. Yep. She was having a heart attack, she was sure of it. She was gonna die, right here in New York.
Rubbing between her breasts, she backed up until her ass hit the brick wall encasing the fireplace. Brick was brick, no retreat and he was practically on top of her.
“I’ve never been yours, Jake.”
Although she’d always thought of herself as his—like they’d been bound by some unseen tether since the day they’d met, but were fated to be apart. They were the reason why stories of great tragedies withstood the ages.
“No. You haven’t. I came here hoping to change that Eve.”
Breathe you idiot! Breathe, breathe, breathe!
He put one hand on the brick by her head, the warmth of his wrist seeping into her cheek. She clamped her eyelids shut, refusing to look at him, willing her traitorous body not to melt into his as it was clearly intent on doing.
He was saying all the right things. All the things she’d hoped he would one day say, but how could she trust it? Words. They were all just words and she’d heard them before.
“Jake, I can’t do this again. We’ve been through this,” she mumbled.
“Not like this, we haven’t. Not when we’re both free to see where this goes.” He leaned in closer, but didn’t touch her.
Eve shoved both hands against his chest, keeping him from molding his body to hers. “I—I, Jesus. I can’t think. I can’t think right with you this close.”
“Breathe, baby. Just breathe, we’re only talking.”
Bullshit, you seductive ass.
He was right though, she needed to breathe. She needed to think. The only man she’d ever truly wanted was standing inches away, offering what she’d always wanted, always believed she’d been born for. Somewhere buried inside the dark abyss that made her who she was, she’d always known she belonged to Jake. Even if they couldn’t be together. Whoever she ended up with would get a ghost version of her, which wasn’t fair to them, but it’s how life wound up sometimes.
“You can’t just show up and expect me to give up my life.”
A moment passed before his fingers caught her chin and lifted her head. His eyes locked onto hers, the intensity in their brown depths not allowing her to look away.
“Eve, have I ever asked you to give up anything for me?”
“Jake,” she pleaded softly. “You ask without asking. You always have. It’s your way. You have an expectation of me, and it’s hard to say no to you, even when I know it’s going to end with me destroyed.”
“I’m not asking you to give up your life. I want to be a part of it.”
Staring up at his gorgeous face, she raised her hands and let them fall. “You’re here, saying all the right things, like you always do. What about your life, Jake? What do you expect me to think? That you’ve been pining away for me like a goddamn monk for the past two years? Come on. I’m not that naive.”
Now the easy grin he wore turned into a devious smirk—and that expression she knew all too well. Without meaning to, she’d just thrown down the gauntlet.
“Who’s Alex, baby?”
Her mouth fell open so wide at the question, lockjaw was a possibility. “How—how do you know about Alex?”
“I saw you together. I was a few doors down. I got here before you did and heard you in the hall.”
“And you stood there watching us?” Not Jake’s style at all.
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I didn’t trust myself not to do something that would piss you off and I had to see if you’d moved on. If you had, I’d have left and you’d have never known I was here. So who is he to you?”
Now Eve shoved her hand against his chest. “If you saw me with him, then you saw him leave, did you not? Alex is a colleague. A friend. And you obviously deduced that for yourself, since you’re standing here in my kitchen. Not that it’s any of your business at all.”
“Ah, but it is, baby. I came here to claim what’s mine.”
The goddamn nerve of this man!
“Yours? Yours! Jake, do you even hear the words coming out of your mouth? It’s been two years. You have no right to come here and question me about my life. Who’s been warming your bed since I left?” She shook her head wildly and waved her hands in front of her face. “No. Forget it. Know what? It’s none of my business either. You were never mine. It doesn’t matter.”
The fingers gripping her chin slowly slid down the column of her neck, over her shoulder to squeeze her bicep.
“Nobody, Eve.”
“Bullshit!” She exploded. “I know you better than that. If it wasn’t me, it was damn well someone else. Don’t forget I’ve known you my entire life and I’ve seen you in actio
n. You’re probably regretting telling me everything you have about you and other women right about now. Two years is a long ass time for you to go without a woman. You actually expect me to believe you haven’t slept with anyone?”
When she spun to walk away, he gripped both shoulders and plastered her against the brick wall.
“Look at me, Eve. Right. Now.”
The hard directive in his voice had her eyes snapping to his faster than she could will them not to.
“I won’t apologize for my past and I don’t regret anything I’ve done or told you about. As for the past two years, I’ve been with nobody since you. All together I was on different operations for a little over a year. I had my family to take care of, my girls, Maddie. I was worried about you here in this fuckin’ city by yourself to the point of distraction. Didn’t leave a lot of time for an empty fuck, sweetheart.”
Eve stared up at him, studying his facial expressions. Nobody could hide emotions better than Jake. He was a master manipulator when he had to be—it was his damn job for Christ’s sake! If he were lying, she’d never know it, but something deep in the pit of her gut screamed that he was telling the truth.
“You’re serious,” she whispered up to him.
“As a motherfucking heart attack, baby. I’ve taken blue balls to another stratosphere.”
Her hand softened on his chest and his covered hers. “I haven’t been with anyone since you either.”
He moved his hands to frame her cheeks and a small grin played at his full lips. “I know that.”
She straight armed him again, but he just tightened his grip on her face. “You cocky shit. You just assumed that I’d be here, buried in work, surrounded by cats, reading Sylvia Plath, in some kind of hideous floral smock, mourning the loss of you?”
“Not at all.” His thumbs stroked her cheeks as he chuckled at her outburst. “Even if I hadn’t heard you in the hallway, I know you, Eve. I’ve known you since you were thirteen. If it’s one thing I know without a shadow of a fucking doubt is that when you love, you love with everything you’ve got. All of you. That’s a gift, baby, but it’s one that takes time to get over. It’s something I’ve taken for granted in the past, but I won’t again. You’re bound to me. You were before, but after I made love to you the first time, I knew we’d take time for you to get over. We’re too good together.”
“Jake! Do you know what an ass that makes you sound like? It’s—it’s like premeditation! Like you intentionally meant to tie me to you.”
He leaned in until his body was flush against hers, forcing her to look up to see his face. “That was exactly my intent. Honey, that dick you were married to didn’t know what to do with you. I damn well did. Why? Because I’d fantasized about it for fucking years. What I’d do to you. How I’d bind you to me so tight you’d never get me out of your system. I unleashed the woman you’re meant to be. You’re mine, Eve. And I want all of you. The good, the bad, the dirty, the innocent, the seductress, the scholar, all of it.”
There were no words. Was he a selfish prick? Yes. Was he wrong? No he wasn’t and he’d done exactly that—shown her the woman she wanted to be and guaranteed she’d forever want only him. She’d known the first time he’d kissed her that she would crave him the rest of her life. It’s why she’d gone against everything she’d believed in to be with him when they’d reconnected. It was also why she’d held back with him sexually. Once Jake had touched her, something inside her had ripped free and she fought a constant battle not to give him everything. All of her. It was like some kind of primal drive to submit to him in every way.
His thumbs never stopped stroking her cheeks and when he slid one over her bottom lip, his eyes glued to her mouth, all the fight drained out of her like a slow leak on a tire.
“Damn you to hell, Jake,” she whispered.
“It’ll be worth every fucking second.” His thumb slowed on her lip, moving over it in an unhurried, seductive manner—over, under, around. “It’s been two years, Eve. You haven’t been touched in two years. Have you thought about me, love?”
He pressed his hips into hers, his hard cock, long and thick, molded against her stomach.
“At night, when you were in bed, did you think of me? Did you touch yourself, because you just needed the release, needed the memory of what I do to you? When you came, how loud did you scream my name?”
With every word, he inched closer to her and one by one, her barriers fell like exploding bricks at a demolition site. He knew all the graphic images to paint and the exact words to unravel her.
“I know your body better than you do, baby. I’d bet my house I know what pushed you over the edge. My mouth on that pussy I can’t get enough of until you came so hard, you’d beg me to make love to you. I love getting you to that point when you stop thinking. Did you remember how I touched you? How I licked you, teased you, until your entire body became mine?”
Her chest rose and fell faster as his lips skimmed her ear, his thumb continued to stroke her lips. Every word out of his sinful mouth added more fuel to an already out of control blaze scorching her from the inside. It’d been so goddamn long. She remembered all of it. Wanted all of it.
“I want you in my bed every night. I want to wake you up with my mouth on your pussy. Your clit so hard, so swollen that you can’t help but ride my tongue, because coming for me is the only thing that matters. And when you can’t stand it anymore, when you need my cock, I’ll suck your clit until you scream my fucking name and only then will I give you what you need. Jesus Christ, I’ve missed the taste of you. Say yes.” He leaned back so he could see her face. “Say yes, Eve,” he growled.
Eve shoved her hands through his hair, barely getting out a “yes” before she crushed her lips to his. Jake groaned long and loud, thrusting his tongue into her mouth as if he’d been starving for something only she could provide. She clutched his face to her, holding him as he wrapped his hands around her ass and yanked her up against him harder.
Familiar. The consuming hunger Jake brought out in her was so familiar. The way he spoke to her, unleashing a need for only him familiar...and the fear of him leaving afterwards, all too familiar. Fear won out over desire and she found the will to yank back, forcing her arms in-between them.
“How is this different, Jake,” she panted. “Do you know what you’re asking of me?”
“Yes, baby. Fuck. It was never a case of not wanting you. It was timing, Eve. That’s it. Now. Our time is now,” he ground out. He pulled her forward and kissed her forehead, before leaning back to look at her.
Eve bunched the material of his flannel at his shoulders in her fists, not giving a shit as tears free flowed down her face. “Jake, you better be sure. If we try to make this work and you pull away from me again, do that distant thing where you emotionally detach and shut me out, I’ll hate you,” she hissed. “I understood and put up with it before, because you have other people you’re responsible for and I never hated you for it. If you do this, if you commit to me and pull your shit that’s it. I’m done. No more chances. Not even if you track me down in fucking Iceland.”
He chuckled down at her, wiping away tears with his thumb. “Baby, you’ve gotten testy over the past two years.”
“Yeah? Sexual frustration will do that to a woman and I’m dead serious.” Trying to unscramble her brain and find some last ounce of self-preservation when she was so close to him seemed nearly impossible. He had to realize what he was asking. She needed to hear him say it.
Pulling her into a crushing embrace, he ran his hands down her back. She slowly wrapped her arms around his waist, taking warmth and heat from his body. She buried her face in his shirt.
“This is your out, Jake. I’ll forgive your little visit and you can go on your way to a new life. All the women you want. No commitments, no strings.”
He shackled his hands around her biceps and pushed her away from
him, so he could see her face. “You’re the only woman I want. When are you going to trust me? I know I let you down in the past, give me the chance to prove to you I’m in this as much as you are, honey.” He squeezed her harder.
Eve dropped her eyes to his full, wet lips. She’d never wanted a man as she did Jake. He’d seen to that. She grabbed his face and pulled him to her so their mouths were centimeters apart. One last chance.
“Then yes. Yes. Make me yours,” she whispered the last part against his lips.
He yanked her against him so hard she lost her balance, but he caught her and jerked her away from the fireplace. They met with open lips, licking into each other’s mouths, teeth banging together, hands in each other’s hair, both of them groaning after being apart so long.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you, Sunshine. So much,” he groaned between deep, drugging kisses. “So fucking much.” His fingers bunched the bottom of her shirt and yanked it over her head as she shoved her hands into the arms of his flannel and pushed it off his shoulders. “I can’t be gentle about this, Eve. It’s gonna be quick and hard, baby. Can’t help that,” he mumbled against her mouth, fumbling with her shorts.
Unable to get his clothes off fast enough, Eve jerked the wife beater over his head and dropped her hands to his belt as he made quick work of her bra. “Make love to me later. I need you. I’ve missed you to the point of pain, Jake.”
He bunched the sides of her boxers in his fists, forcing her to a stop. “No going back. This is it. You and me. From here on out. You don’t get to disappear on me, Eve. Say you understand.”
“Yes, yes,” she groaned, rubbing her hands up his chest. “No more running.” When she got to his left pectoral muscle she jolted back, shocked. Only his arms locking around her waist stopped her retreat. “You inked it out?” Her eyes sought his and dropped back down to his chest.
Thick black lines of an intricate cross covered the tattoo of his ex-wife’s name that had been etched across his chest. Eve ran her fingers over the detailed lines and elaborate design. The cover up was amazing. A beautifully scripted M for Maddelyn on one side and K for Kelsie on the other lay directly underneath the thick arms of the cross, as if protected. A fresh round of tears blurred her vision. “It’s gorgeous.”
Twenty-Four Hours (Shattered Boundaries Book 1) Page 16
