Cara gave him a crooked smile. “Thanks. Good luck with the song.”
Brett winked and headed for the stairs.
Cara crossed her arms over her chest, simmering over her exchange with Simon.
“Hey, look at me.” Kai clamped his hand on her shoulder. She met his gaze. “Everything okay?” he asked softly, his eyes searching hers. She was accustomed to sharing almost everything with him as one of her closest friends. But she didn’t trust herself to speak for fear she would say something about Simon that she’d later regret.
Instead, she blew out a breath. “Yeah, just give me a minute. Simon’s being irrational. I’m so angry I could spit. Let’s talk about something else until I cool down.”
He didn’t press.
“How did everything go with Sara in Virginia?” Cara asked.
“Well. Mom and Jerry were thrilled to take her for a couple of weeks. Ishmael is staying to guard her, so I’m feeling only half as crazy leaving her there.” Kai’s mom had married Jerry, a plastic surgeon, when Kai was young. He’d never met his father, but his mom insisted he was a good man. All Kai had to remind him of his real father was the silver ring he wore. It was the only jewelry he owned besides the plain gold wedding band he wore on his opposite hand.
Taking his hand, she pulled him toward the roof bar. “Try to relax. She’s in good hands. Now fill me in on Melanie while I get us a drink.” She let him go and slipped behind the bar. He pulled up a stool. She couldn’t help but relax and fall back into her comfortable pattern with Kai, finding his presence both soothing and satisfying.
He tented his hands on the bar. “We’re hopeful. Her treatment is progressing well, but I have to admit it’s more like exorcism than therapy. If they weren’t affiliated with the Angelorum, I’d be suspicious.”
Cara ducked down to look in the refrigerator. “Wine, beer, soda, or water?”
“What kind of beer do you have?”
She poked her head up and smiled. “Your favorite.” Taking the bottle opener, she flipped off the caps on two Heinekens and handed him one of the green bottles.
“Thanks.” He tapped his bottle to hers.
“What kind of treatment are they giving her?” Cara asked and took a swallow.
“They’re teaching her some coping mechanisms to prevent future attacks. Believe it or not, there are similarities between curing multiple personality disorder and her form of demon possession. She opened herself up to be a conduit, and they’re trying to shut her back down. The portal on the back of her neck is going to take more work. They’re still trying to figure out how to remove it.”
“How’s she feeling?”
“They won’t let me talk to her until I get home, but they tell me she’s pretty positive. Much better than when I called you.” He took a long draught from his beer.
“Heavy stuff. How are you holding up?” Cara asked.
“As well as can be expected, I guess.” He put down the bottle and sadness filled his eyes. “Cara… it’s hard. I… I don’t know…” He shook his head and looked away. His emotions stirred and she was hit with the pungent taste of his distress. Cara suppressed a look, clearing the taste of dirty gym socks from her tongue.
She came around the bar and gently placed her hand on his shoulder. “What’s the matter? Tell me,” she asked gently.
Before she could push any calming energy into him, he hopped off the barstool and let out a breath. “Everything. Everything is the matter.”
“Um, could you be more specific?”
“This life, Cara.” He frowned and raked his hands through his hair, his wedding ring flashing in the sun. “I want my ignorance back. Ever since I recovered the missing notes on the Nephilim vaccine, my life’s been a frigging mess. Between Melanie becoming a head case, my career being blown sky-high, and having my family stalked by demons… I don’t know. Is that specific enough for you?”
“I’m sorry, Kai.”
He turned away from her. “No, I’m sorry. Sorry for all the fucking mistakes I’ve made…” He swung around to look at her, his pain and anguish gripping her.
“What mistakes? What are you talking about?” He wasn’t making any sense.
“You, Cara. You,” he whispered and looked away.
Her mouth dried out. “What do you mean? What about me?”
“Remember the last time we were together before I told you I was getting married?”
She closed her eyes. How could she forget? It had been the last time they’d ever made love. He’d been on the outs with Melanie and came down from MIT to visit her for the weekend.
He turned to her and took her hand, staring at her with an intensity she hadn’t seen in a long time. Goosebumps rose on her arms. “Cara, I didn’t marry Melanie because I loved her more than you. I married her because she was carrying my child,” he said.
Cara froze and the air evacuated from her lungs. “What?” she choked unable to catch her breath. Shock rooted her in place. All this time she’d thought he didn’t love her. Even when he came to see her and apologize before the Tribunal, he’d never told her.
His eyes sought hers. “She ended up losing the baby after the wedding. I hadn’t wanted you to know… The only thing I’ve ever done right since is Sara. She’s one of the only reasons I’m able to hold it together right now.”
Cara stayed rigid, tasting another truth lying right underneath the surface. “Why?” she whispered, her heart hurting for them all.
He looked away, but not before she saw his eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Look at me, Kai.”
Turning to face her, his soft fingers glided over her cheek and the pain in his eyes touched her core. “You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?”
She nodded, too afraid to speak without bursting into tears.
“I wanted you back, Cara. I planned on leaving Melanie and coming back to you,” he said, a tear slipping down his cheek. She reached up and brushed it away. “Now you know the truth,” he whispered.
Her eyes watered and spilled over. Through her connection to Kai, she felt the burden he’d been carrying lift and fall away. He had needed to tell her more than she’d needed to know. Even so, the truth didn’t change anything.
She squeezed him tight to her body, wanting to absorb his pain. “I’m so sorry, Kai, for you, Melanie, everything. You made the best decision that you could at the time. I’ll always love you, Kai. I know how hard that must’ve been. Thank you for sharing it.”
She still believed what she’d told Kai at the Sanctuary. Everything had worked out exactly as it should have. The intensity of their love had given them the strength to save the other, repaying their soul’s debt to prove their loyalty to one another. But their chance for a romantic relationship had already passed.
He spoke into her hair. “I feel better now that you know the truth. What I would’ve done if fate hadn’t intervened. I’m sorry. I’m just feeling like a crap husband. I know it’s irrational, but I’m angry at Melanie.”
“Do you love her?” Cara asked.
“Yes.”
“Then please try to forgive her and make it work,” she pleaded. “You deserve to be happy. Forgive yourself for the past and whatever else is leaving the taste of guilt on my tongue,” Cara said and released him.
“Easier said than done but I’ll try,” he said, wiping his face, and then rolling his shoulders to release the tension. “Listen, I’m sorry I unloaded this on you. Really. It’s all in the past anyway.”
“No. I’m glad you told me.”
He shook his head. “Simon’s lucky to have you. I’m happy if you’re happy. Speaking of…” He eyed her. “What was up with Brett’s comment and your little stairway discussion with Simon before?”
“Let’s just say this is the first time Simon has seen this Nephilim puberty thing in action near another man.”
He frowned. “I don’t follow.”
She blushed. “Nephilim can smell pheromones, which we appear to release w
hen we’re aroused. Unfortunately, almost anyone and everyone triggers my arousal these days. I need your medical advice to get this under control like yesterday.”
A smile spread across his face. “You still find me arousing?”
She rolled her eyes and smirked. “Don’t let it go to your head.”
His smile faded and he arched a brow at her. “Simon isn’t jealous, is he?”
Her shoulders slumped and her heart softened when she thought back to her discussion with Simon about Kai. “He’s not so much jealous as he is insecure about his ability to protect me like you’ve been able to. He admires you and feels indebted to you for saving my life. But between his own personal baggage and his Victorian sensibilities, he thinks that he should’ve been the one who saved me. Honestly, it probably doesn’t help that you and I have had a romantic relationship.”
Giving her a playful smile, he said, “Lucky for you, Tyler’s long gone.”
Her mouth hung open. She wanted to slug him. “I can’t believe you said his name out loud to me.” Tyler was the only name she loathed to hear, especially from Kai. If Cara hadn’t been on the rebound after Kai married Melanie, she wouldn’t have had a second heartbreak on top of her first after a surreal whirlwind weekend with a certain Irishman.
“Well, he’s the only other guy you’d slept with before Simon, right?”
“Thanks for the short review of my sexual history.” She grimaced. “And since he never saved my life, he doesn’t count. You’re such a creep sometimes.” She shoved him and he went sailing halfway across the deck, landing on his butt with a hard thump.
“Shit, woman! Watch it with your newfound strength, will you?”
She reddened and dashed over to him. “Oops. Sorry about that… kind of. You okay?” She chuckled and offered him a hand up. “For the record, Simon broke my post-Tyler celibacy.”
Kai scowled and took her proffered hand. “What you mentioned on the phone last week about your body changing? You were right. Obviously, you’ve gotten a lot stronger. And you’ve grown. I sized up the difference the minute I saw you,” he said as she pulled him to his feet. He dropped her hand and brushed himself off. “By the way, you feel like a linebacker when I hug you. Frankly, I find that a little disconcerting.”
Given Kai’s photographic memory, she believed him. Knowing him, he could provide the difference in her measurements down to the millimeter.
Lifting her shirt, she exposed her midsection and well-carved six-pack. “Check out these puppies.”
His eyebrows shot up. “Nice. Now, hold up your hand to mine.”
Dropping her shirt, she placed her palm vertically against his and watched his eyes widen. Her hand was the same size as his, which said something. He had good-sized hands for a man. A runner, he had a lean build with good muscle tone, and at six foot, he was on the tall side of average for a man. As a matter of fact, there was nothing small about Kai.
“That explains why you’re wearing your engagement ring around your neck next to your diamond pendant.” Unconsciously, she reached up and fingered the ring.
He gave her an appraising stare. “I have my portable lab in a suitcase downstairs. I’ll draw some blood and get it couriered over to the Sanctuary so they can start working on it before we arrive. And I’ll see what I can find out about your overactive hormone problem.”
Cara’s insides warmed. When Kai worked, he was in his element. “Thanks for being here.”
His mouth quirked up into a smile. “You’re the only other reason I’m able to stay sane, you know. Listen, I’ll do what I can to make Simon feel more comfortable.” He let out a breath and swiftly changed the topic. “By the way, I’m selling the house.”
“Really? Why? Too many bad memories?”
“That and I feel like we’re sitting ducks there. Luke’s been racking up the body count to protect us. We’ve had at least one demon or soulless attack a week since the rescue. At least we know how the demons are getting into the house now.”
“Holy crap! Why didn’t you tell me?”
“And you would’ve done what, exactly? Jump on a plane?”
Planting her hands on her hips, she smirked. “Uh, yeah.”
“That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you,” he said smugly.
“Uh-huh. Last time you didn’t tell me something, you ended up getting kidnapped. When are you going to learn your lesson and just tell me everything?” she teased.
He laughed. “I always do, Mother Hen… eventually.”
“Michael’s here,” Simon said in a sulking tone, his voice echoing in her head. She wondered if he’d spoken to Constantina yet.
“Simon just called. Michael’s here. Ready to go join the others?” Cara asked.
“Can I ask you a question first?” The intensity in his blue eyes stopped her. “Do you ever just ache for ‘normal’?”
He had no idea, she thought, and met his gaze with equal intensity. “Every day, Kai. Every day.”
Chapter 45
CARA
New York City. Greene Street Loft. Sunday, May 26, 6:15 PM ET
“HEY, MICHAEL,” Cara said, entering the kitchen with Kai.
Michael broke out into a wide smile when he saw them and came to greet Kai. “Hey, good to see you. How was your trip in?”
Their hands touched in greeting, and Cara left them to it.
Her attention was magnetically drawn to Simon.
Apparently, he’d been busy while she was upstairs with Kai. He stood purposefully ignoring her while he worked at the stove, his broad back to her. His emotions churned around him. Self-doubt, hurt, anger… she tasted them all in a jumble of sour grapes and crushed aspirin.
She softened when she looked at him. She loved him more than words could express. Why didn’t he understand that?
One thing she’d learned about her fiancé is that he either cooked or painted when stressed, making the kitchen and his art studio his two safe places. The only other place she’d seen him utterly in his comfort zone was leading a mission.
His shoulders tensed as she sidled up behind him. “Are you still mad?”
The heady aroma of melting chocolate filled her senses before she peeked around his arm and spotted eight individual ramekins. Chocolate soufflés.
His silence and the tense set to his jaw answered her question. As she suspected, he wasn’t cooking just to feed them. A major dose of stress relief was woven into this culinary exercise.
“Did you call Constantina?”
“Yes,” he said flatly. Still refusing to look at her, he continued to stir the batter.
“And you’re still mad.”
He stopped stirring and turned his head, his blue eyes flashing. “Yes.”
Her Irish temper bubbled up inside of her, twisting her mouth into a frown. “For what, exactly? Didn’t she explain the hormone thing to you?”
“Keep your voice down,” he commanded telepathically.
Cara’s face warmed as her blood pressure rose. “Then let’s take this somewhere else. I refuse to feel like I’ve done something wrong… because I haven’t.”
Dropping the spoon, he strode out of the kitchen, down the hallway, and into the master bedroom. She raced to keep up. Closing the door behind her, she let loose.
“What’s the matter with you?” She wanted to stomp her foot in frustration. “You’re acting like I cheated on you or something.”
He clenched his hands and paced without speaking, wrapped in a blanket of anger. She wanted to scream. Instead, she took a deep cleansing breath and walked over to him.
He stopped to glare at her, his mouth a tight line. “I heard what you said to Kai.”
She froze in place and asked cautiously, “What do mean, you heard what I said to Kai?”
His anger transformed to hurt. “I heard you…” He folded his muscled arms over his chest and swallowed, then looked away. “I was coming up to apologize after I called Constantina. I heard you talking through the door.”
&nbs
p; Cara withered inside. There were some conversations that should never be overhead or repeated. Her discussion with Kai on the roof happened to be one of them.
She sat down on the bed. “What part did you hear?” she asked, softly.
He looked up at her with hard eyes. “The part where he told you he was coming back for you, and then you both cried.” He strode to the door. “Don’t let me stand in your way.”
She leaped up and grabbed his arm. “Did you stay to hear the rest of it? Or are you just going to judge me on the piece you heard out of context?”
“Does it really matter?”
“Yes, it matters! Simon, how many times do I have to tell you? I chose you—you alone. I love you. But I can’t help that I once loved other men, including one who happened to have saved my life. That’s just the way it is.”
His features twisted into a mask of anger and hurt which was reflected in the swirl of energy surrounding him. Seeping into her physical space, it filled her with discomfort. “Maybe it is. But right now, I want to be alone.” He opened the door. “I’m going to stay here tonight.”
Unable to contain her anger, a vein pulsed in her neck. “Fine! I’ll go back to the penthouse with Kai. Enjoy your cold bed tonight… soul mates or not… maybe the Trinity Stones were wrong!” She regretted the words almost the instant they passed through her lips.
He slammed the door behind him so hard it rattled on the frame, followed by the sound of his size fifteens stomping back to the kitchen.
Tears of frustration sprang to Cara’s eyes and she threw herself back onto the bed. Could Simon be right? Could her friendship with Kai be wrong? Kai was married and her heart had moved on to Simon. She valued their friendship dearly and although she would always love him, she was no longer in love with him. Would she have to give him up to avoid hurting Simon? Could she? The thought of losing either of them tore at her heart.
A soft knock sounded at the door. “Cara, may I come in?” Michael. His caring voice elicited more tears and made her ache for Simon.
“Sure.” She sat up and wiped the mascara stains from under her eyes with her fingertips.
The Wanderer's Children Page 30
