by Jan Thompson
Right now Sebastian wondered if her conversion was genuine. Who was he to judge? He had told her that if she believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, she would be saved. She had said yes multiple times over. Wasn’t that enough?
Everything after that was between her and God though Sebastian wondered if Talia truly knew what it meant to believe in Jesus.
I’m not the Holy Spirit.
“I want God’s love for us,” Sebastian said.
“God’s love?” Talia looked at him, as if with pity. “Look, I have to run. He’s waiting for me upstairs. Good night, Seb.”
“Tell me you don’t live here.”
“I don’t live here.”
“Sleepovers?”
“None of your business.” Talia walked away.
Why is she doing this to herself?
The pain in his chest spread to his shoulders. He took short breaths and then slumped his shoulders.
Her pattern hadn’t changed.
This is not the kind of girl I want to marry.
Talia would get tired of him, they’d break up, she’d go see who else were out there, they’d break up, and she’d be back with Sebastian again.
Why did he let her do that to him?
Is it love? Or just lust?
There in front of him was Talia’s empty tumbler and the pitcher of leftover sangria which she had forgotten to put back into the refrigerator behind the bar. Next to the pitcher was the half-empty Bacardi bottle.
How could an ex have such a hold on me?
Sebastian reached for the pitcher and started pouring the red liquid into Talia’s tumbler. He studied the mix of liquid and pieces of berries floating in it.
Someone touched his arm.
Chapter Thirty
Sebastian felt the warmth of those fingers on his arm.
Emmeline’s.
She leaned toward his left ear as he sat stock still at the counter, one almost-guilty hand on that tumbler that could have done him in.
“You’re worth more than this,” Emmeline whispered.
Her words were so soft that Sebastian wanted to cry.
“You don’t need this.” Emmeline rubbed his arm. “Let me take you home.”
“It’s not what it seems.” Sebastian didn’t meet her gaze.
“I saw you pour it.”
“I didn’t drink it. It was Talia’s.”
“I don’t see her.”
“She just walked out. Went upstairs to be with Jared.”
“Oh. What did she say to you?”
That made me go this far? “Many things.”
“Let’s go.”
“What about your rehearsal?”
“My scenes are done.”
Sebastian’s watch said it was not even nine o’clock. “I can’t go home and sit there. I’m mad at Talia.”
Or maybe I’m mad at myself.
“Want to talk about it?”
“No.” Sebastian wasn’t sure how much he wanted to tell Emmeline.
If he revealed his foolishness, what would she think of him? Would she use it against him later? He hardly knew her.
“Then let’s go do something.” Emmeline reached for Sebastian’s hand.
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Watch a movie? Safer than getting drunk?”
Sebastian let her lead him toward the front door. “I haven’t set foot in a movie theater in years.”
“You missed all that movie popcorn?” Emmeline chuckled.
“Too much partially hydrogenated oil.”
“What about the soda?”
“Too much high fructose corn syrup.”
“Well, more for me. You don’t get any, Seb.”
They reached Sebastian’s SUV.
“Hand me the keys,” Sebastian said.
“No. I’m driving.” Emmeline reached the driver’s side first before she unlocked the doors.
“You don’t believe me. I didn’t have a drop. I’m telling you the truth.” Sebastian climbed into the passenger side.
“Use your iPhone and find us a movie that starts ASAP. I don’t want to stay up all night.”
Sebastian was surprised that Emmeline had ordered him around. “May I remind you that it’s Saturday tomorrow?”
“May I remind you to look at my calendar? The Brock-Flannagan wedding is at two. You saw us practice last week. All those last minute changes?”
Sebastian remembered now. “That’s seriously weird. Changed out the groom and changed the program.”
He began to hum the Granados song as he looked up possible movie options on his iPhone. He remembered that first Monday of their charade. He had heard Oriental coming from a harp as he walked down the corridor on the third floor at SISO studio two Mondays ago. He had stood at the doorway watching Emmeline weep at her harp.
“You like that music,” Emmeline said.
“Yes. Very much. I kept hearing it in my head, especially when I need it.”
“God provides music as therapy sometimes. You remember the Old Testament when David played the harp to soothe Saul’s soul?”
“I’m Saul? Is that how little you think of me?”
“Silly pickle.” Emmeline laughed.
Her laughter, crystal chimes by the sea, mollified the stab wounds in his heart.
“Silly pickle? A new term of endearment?”
Emmeline ignored him. “If you want, I’ll play the harp for you. Both my harps are back there.”
Sebastian looked where she pointed. “I know you’re playing the pedal harp tomorrow. When do you play the lap harp?”
Emmeline nodded. “Next Wednesday night’s Fire Pit Service. I’m accompanying Skye.”
“The one you invited Jared, and by default, Talia to.” At his own mention of Talia, Sebastian sank into the leather seat.
“Are we going to sit here all night or are you going to pick a movie?” Emmeline started the car. “See what’s showing at Midland 10.”
Sebastian tapped his iPhone and read the listing of movies showing between now and ten o’clock. In the end they picked one that started at 9:45 p.m.
“I didn’t know you like suspense,” Sebastian said.
“Doesn’t everybody?”
“Talia only likes to watch chick lit—I take that back. She watches whatever her current boyfriend does—I’m sorry. I don’t want to talk about Talia.”
“Sometimes when someone has been a part of your life for a long time, it’s hard not to bring them up.”
Sebastian nodded. “I’m sorry I brought you into all this.”
Emmeline pulled into Midland 10. “You’ve done so much for me, Seb. Helen Hu is a big step forward toward finding my brother. I don’t think helping you out with Talia is enough to make up for what you’re doing for my family.”
Sebastian wasn’t sure what to say so he didn’t say anything. Somewhere in his heart he wanted to get to know Emmeline more. But until it was really over with Talia, he couldn’t do much to explore where his heart wanted to go.
As far as Talia was concerned, there was nothing between them, but Sebastian felt he hadn’t let her go.
Until he let Talia go, he couldn’t be free with Emmeline.
For all practical purposes, Talia was history.
But the memories of her…
How do I erase all these memories of Talia?
“How often do you come here?” Sebastian asked as Emmeline parked the vehicle.
“Not since Ivan and I—uh… Well, I’ve been busy.”
Sebastian didn’t want to intrude but maybe talking about Emmeline would take his mind off Talia. “Ivan and you? When you dated that Summer?”
Emmeline nodded. “Funny how it went. I thought there was something between us, but there wasn’t. God shut the door.”
“The door was never meant for you, Em. I knew that because I know Ivan. He and Brinley are made for each other. Someday, your prince will come.”
Emmeline set the brakes. “Sure. Until then I’ll alwa
ys be second best.”
“Me too! I’m not Talia’s first choice.” Sebastian didn’t know what else to tell her.
Here he was proving her words. Talia was his first choice, not Emmeline. Then again, Talia had disqualified herself with her sleeping around.
Well, they were not married. She could do whatever she wanted though ultimately she had to answer to God, not to Sebastian, for her actions.
Why can’t I let her go?
“Because you feel guilty,” Emmeline said. “You think this is your penance—a punishment for your past. The past is over, but the memories are in your head, and you’re unable to deal with them.”
Whoa. “What did you say?”
“You still want Talia back, even if she has moved on.” Emmeline got out of the car. Sebastian realized late that he was too slow to open her door for her. She was standing outside the car waiting for him.
“We’re meant to be together.”
“Are you sure?”
Sebastian had no answer.
“My dad has a saying when Claude and I couldn’t decide what to do about something,” Emmeline added. “He said sometimes we need to retreat, spend time with God, before we can move forward. You need to meet with God, Seb. Don’t forget God.”
Sebastian didn’t know what to say.
They were in a public place—well, an almost empty parking lot—and he didn’t want to talk about life-changing events on the way to watch a movie.
He opened the movie theater door for her and followed her to the ticket counter. He cut in front of her. “Tickets on me but I’m not paying for food coloring and artificial flavoring.”
“I can get my own ticket. This is not a date.”
Sebastian smiled. “That’s why you’re paying for popcorn and soda. We’ll call it even.”
“Fair enough.”
After Sebastian paid for the tickets they headed to the concessions. There was a line. It was Friday night, after all.
“You-know-who was at Scrolls on Wednesday, and she had a talk with me.”
“Now you tell me?” Sebastian wondered why Talia had confronted Emmeline at all.
“I forgot. It was on a Wednesday, remember? I had a lot on my mind.”
“Oh. Yes. Sorry. I’m glad you’re okay. I didn’t mean to be insensitive.”
“It’s all right. The conversation with her was brief, if you must know. She told me to stay away.”
“From me?” Sebastian perked up.
“No. From Jared.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Sebastian arrived early for lunch with his sister Skye but it was intentional. He had shaven carefully, nicking nothing this morning, and put on clean clothes right off the dryer. He had to stay up half the night to wash his favorite pair of shorts that he had generally worn for at least two weeks before laundering.
Everything smelled like Bounce this morning as he sat on the barstool at the granite island chatting with Skye and staring at the white box with lavender ribbon on top that he’d brought with him.
“Something on your mind?” Skye asked.
Someone. “Why do you ask?”
“You seem antsy.”
“Antsy? Me? Nah. Do you have more coffee?”
Skye poured Sebastian another cup. “It’s Emmeline, isn’t it?”
“Who?”
“Seb. Stop. I can see right through you. She’s still getting ready, if you must know. She should be here any minute now, but she has that wedding to go to. Did you sleep last night?”
“What?”
“Maybe you should go home. We can do lunch another time.” Skye got off her barstool.
“No. We’ve been trying to have this lunch for weeks. Let’s not postpone again.” Sebastian’s eyes were on the living room on the other side of which were the bedrooms.
He thought he had heard a door close in the distance.
He downed his coffee.
Next thing he knew, Emmeline was standing in the kitchen with them.
“What are you doing here, Seb?” she asked.
“You look lovely, Em.” He held out the box. “For you.”
“What’s the occasion?” Emmeline asked.
Sebastian shrugged. Too much, too soon for her, perhaps. His mind was going in a thousand different directions and he was surprised that none of those led to Talia.
Only Emmeline.
“Open it.” Sebastian waited.
Emmeline placed the box on the island. Her eyebrows rose as she lifted the periwinkle agate necklace and bracelet out of the lined boxed. “Where did you get this?”
“I fought the store battle and slew the price dragon all for you, milady.”
Emmeline laughed.
Oh, how he loved to hear her laugh.
“You knight in shining armor, you.” Emmeline didn’t look at Sebastian.
Next to her, Skye rolled her eyes. “Are you guys kidding me?”
“We’re on stage,” Emmeline said.
I wish we weren’t.
Sebastian’s heart sank. Slowly he got off the barstool. “Let me help you put it on.”
“You want me to wear it now?” Emmeline asked.
“Not if you don’t want to.”
“I’m just playing at a wedding.” Emmeline lifted her long hair and turned around for Sebastian to fasten the clasp at the back of the necklace.
He didn’t want to touch her but there was no choice, really, as his fingers brushed against the nape of her neck.
Flooding into his mind were the bright lights behind Emmeline’s old apartment when he had shown Bart that Emmeline was taken.
It had begun as something extraneous, but he hadn’t felt quite the same since that day.
At the back of his mind, Sebastian was fully aware that he was beginning to transfer his attention from Talia to Emmeline. It wasn’t fair to either person.
Maybe what Emmeline had said to him last night was true.
My dad has a saying when Claude and I couldn’t decide what to do about something. He said sometimes we need to retreat, spend time with God, before we can move forward. You need to meet with God, Seb.
Don’t forget God.
“It’ll look lovely with your black dress.” Sebastian reached for the bracelet. As he placed it on Emmeline’s wrist, he wanted to kiss her wrist, but it would be inappropriate.
Inappropriate? How?
They were both unattached at the moment. Talia had dumped him months ago—he just had to get over it.
Emmeline glanced at her watch. “I have to run. I’m always late. We’re having lunch first, do a bit of warm-up, then start playing at one o’clock. Don’t want to miss lunch or the warm-up.”
“Let me help you with your harp.” Sebastian followed her to the front door.
He watched her play with the agate stones around her neck and wrist as he loaded the harp into the back of the SUV.
“Thank you, Seb.” Emmeline pecked him on the cheek.
He wanted more, but it might be too soon for her.
“Off I go to another wedding.” Emmeline walked toward the driver’s side. “Always someone else’s.”
“Some day it’ll be our—I mean, we’ll have our turns.”
Emmeline smiled and patted him on his arm. “You, maybe. Not me, Seb. I’m going to be single the rest of my life.”
“How did you figure that?” What did she mean?
“It’s better this way.”
“Safer, you mean?” Sebastian stepped closer to Emmeline.
“Safer to be alone. Less trouble. Less heartaches.”
Sebastian reached for Emmeline’s hand. It was soft in his. “The Bible says it’s not good for man to be alone.”
“There’s a time for everything, Seb.” Emmeline started the SUV. “Thank you again for the lovely jewelry. You don’t have to, Seb. That’s more than generous of you. Tell Matt I’m glad he kept them.”
“I’m glad too.”
“Did he try to sell them to you?”
> “No. We were talking and he had the box sitting on his table in his office.”
“He didn’t put them back in his jewelry case?”
“Maybe he didn’t get around to it. Maybe they were meant to be yours.”
“I love these, Seb. I really do. I’ve wanted them for a long time.”
As the SUV pulled out of the driveway, Sebastian waved with a heart so bereft he wanted to run after Emmeline and stop the vehicle and make her promises that he might not be able to keep.
Her parting words lingered in his heart.
There’s a time for everything, Seb.
Chapter Thirty-Two
“What’s going on between you and Em, Seb?” Skye said as Sebastian placed a bowl of she-crab soup in front of her.
He sat down on the other side of the teak table on the porch overlooking the marshes. The table was long, seated at least twelve, and it always reminded him of the days of yore when he and Skye had made a pretty good team cooking up a storm for their friends and neighbors.
Those were the days before Saffron on Jekyll, when Sage Café was a tiny hole in the wall that tourists walked past on their way to the pier and Food TV hadn’t discovered them yet.
How Sebastian longed to return to those days!
He wondered sometimes if he should sell his forty-nine percent to Talia and walk away from Saffron. He wanted to get back to the kitchen. He really did. He had watched how happy his sister was singing in the kitchen as he set the table for lunch.
“You didn’t answer my question.” Skye placed both hands on the table on both sides of the bowl of soup.
Sebastian studied the Band-Aid on Skye’s thumb. “Cut yourself again? Please be careful, little sister.”
“Okay. Let me try this one more time. Talia or Emmeline?”
Emmeline. “Let’s say grace first and we’ll talk. You say it, Skye.”
Skye said the shortest prayer she had ever prayed over their meals at the table, and Sebastian wished he had prayed so he could delay the inevitable.
Forgive me, Lord.
“You’re in trouble, aren’t you?” Skye asked.
“This soup is very good.”
“Thank you. Picked up a new recipe at the Miami Festival—don’t change the subject, Seb.”
