by Jan Thompson
“Liability?” Uh-oh.
“Our baby.” Talia waved her long, manicured nails in the air. “But we won’t think about the past. We’re moving on.”
“You’re on your own, Talia.” For once.
“I can abort, and it’ll be back to old times—”
“You answer to God, Talia, for your actions.” Sebastian held up a palm to prevent her from getting any closer to him.
He felt sorry for Talia, that she had to throw herself at any man.
“At least let me stay here, Seb. This is my safe place.” Talia began to cry.
“Your safe place needs to be Jesus, Talia, not my house.” Sebastian felt sorry for her, but also regret that he had mistaken lust for love all these years.
Lust.
That was what he had for Talia, wasn’t it?
It was clear to him now.
Now that he had found love—perhaps, even true love—he could see things as clearly as the sun was rising into the sky right now.
Whoa.
Startled by his own realization, Sebastian stood there, stunned.
“Are you kicking me out?” Talia suddenly raised her voice.
“But you don’t live here. Go back to your own home.”
“Not my parents’ home. I have nowhere to go, Seb.”
I will not pity her anymore.
“Go home to your flat in London, then,” Sebastian said. “Start over with your baby. That’s a lot of responsibility in itself. Does Jared know?”
Silence.
“You need to tell him.”
Talia bristled. “He’s seeing someone else.”
Oh boy. “You still need to tell him that he’s a dad. It might change things.”
“It might not.”
“Still, we all grow up, Talia. I can’t fill your empty spaces. I can’t be your backup boyfriend. I can’t clean up your messes for you anymore.”
“I thought we had something beautiful.”
“We never did.” It had all been pale in comparison to even a brief moment Sebastian had with Emmeline. “Twenty years ago we had something. There’s nothing between us now.”
“You loved me.”
“We were infatuated with one another.” Yep, he had worshipped Talia like a movie star. An idol. “I’ve gotten right with God, and I need to stay pure.”
“You mean you joined a monastery?” Talia’s laughter was one of derision.
“No. I am turning to God to meet my needs, direct my life, show me what’s best for me. Blessings upon blessings, Talia. You can have them too.”
“With you, Seb. We can have blessing together.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Sebastian’s heart was calm when he said it, but he had to leave now, or Talia would lure him back into a past he’d rather forget.
She had her ways, and Sebastian feared he might still be susceptible, in spite of all his spiritual talk.
He felt peace, though.
God’s peace.
He hadn’t forgotten God.
When he needed to be strong in the Lord, God had given him strength to say no to a woman who had been a negative influence for him.
He realized that Talia was still talking, this time about splitting restaurant shares in Saffron on Jekyll, and something about going back to church so she could raise her child right.
Anything to engage Sebastian in more entanglements.
Never again.
Quickly, Sebastian climbed back into his SUV, and started the ignition. The driver side window was still down.
“I’ll pray for you, Talia, to find God’s will for your life—and your baby’s life. And Jared’s too, for that matter.” He locked the doors. “In the meantime, get out of my house.”
Chapter Forty-Five
The next day, Sebastian called his real estate agent to list his six-bedroom Sea Island house for almost three million dollars. It was a fair price for the half-an-acre property. He couldn’t list it for anymore than three because it wasn’t oceanfront.
He had hung on to certain memories long enough, but they were memories not worth clinging to. He had bought the house with Talia in mind, in the hopes of marrying her and raising their kids there.
How had he not seen her for who she was?
Perhaps he had, but had denied the truth of it.
No wonder he had no peace, only regrets, every time he had prayed about his life together with Talia Cavanaugh-Perry.
So.
Marrying Talia had been Sebastian’s own idea, not God’s.
I forgot God.
How could he ever be Talia’s only man? While he had remained celibate all these years since he had been saved, Talia hadn’t done the same.
Seriously, he could not have expected Talia to have the same convictions as he did, especially if she wasn’t truly saved to begin with.
But that’s between her and God.
It was obvious to Sebastian now that Talia had used him as a prop only, a backup plan when no other more interesting guy came along.
He had wanted to be Hosea. While he wouldn’t dare compare Talia to Gomer, Talia herself had said she wasn’t a one-man woman.
If Sebastian had married Talia, what then? What would happen after their wedding if—or when—Talia grew tired of him?
Talia seemed to be a wanderer.
And Emmeline?
Who is she, then, who dared to take up his offer for her to be his rent-a-girlfriend?
Only a year before, when Emmeline and Sebastian’s friend from church, Ivan, had dated, Emmeline had been known to be flashy.
Those photographs Sebastian had seen in the newspapers when the Sea Islands Symphony Orchestra went on tour were telling of Emmeline’s skin-tight outfits.
What a contrast a year had made. Months, perhaps, after Emmeline had started attending the Women’s Bible Study Group and taking God’s Word seriously, Sebastian’s sister and the other women in the group had influenced Emmeline to focus modesty and inner beauty.
Ah, so maybe that’s where her favorite phrase came from.
Don’t forget God.
By the time Sebastian had hired her to be his rent-a-girlfriend, eh had had an epiphany, repented of her immodesty, and was now focused on more important things like finding her brother, finishing school, getting a job, taking care of her family…
All the things Sebastian considered important.
In many ways, Emmeline was more inline with Sebastian’s goals, hopes, dreams, and world view than Talia ever was.
His left hand unaware of what his right hand was doing, Sebastian found himself calling Emmeline.
“You don’t have to explain to me,” Emmeline spoke into her smart phone. She was sitting on her bed, leaning against the headrest, a pillow on her lap.
The fan whirred above her, easing off the late July heat that rose into her second-floor bedroom this time of year. This bedroom in her parents’ house was hers whenever she came to see them. Her childhood home in Dunwoody was no more, demolished to raise up some high-rise condominiums.
On her smart phone, Sebastian’s face showed on the Skype window.
“I must,” Sebastian said. He wasn’t smiling. “She came to my house without my permission. She’d been staying there all weekend.”
“There?”
“Yeah. I would have you know that I didn’t go inside the house. I talked to her at the front door, and then I went to Skye’s house and I’ve been there ever since.”
“You don’t need to—”
“I put the house on the market this morning.”
“Oh. Just tell Talia to go. It’s not her house. Why sell it?”
“Too many bad memories.”
“It takes a while to sell any house these days. Are you going to stay at Skye’s the entire time?”
“Probably not. We’ll start arguing after a bit. There’s not enough room for the two of us in her kitchen,” Sebastian explained.
“I guess that’s what you get with two chefs in the
family.”
“I’ll rent or buy something closer to Sage near the pier.” Sebastian shook his head. “I can’t believe Talia came back.”
“How did she get in?” Emmeline wasn’t curious or anything.
Maybe just a tad.
“She knew the housekeeper would tidy and dust on Friday. She arrived when the doors were unlocked.”
“So you didn’t let her in.”
“She told the housekeeper that we’re back together. We’re not, Em.” Sebastian looked into the camera. “I told her to leave.”
“And I need to know because?”
“She’s pregnant.”
“Oh. Wow. You said earlier—before I came up to my room—that she broke up with Jared.”
“That’s what she said. And now she thinks we should get back together. She expected me to take her back.”
“Ironically, that’s what you wanted.”
“I’m glad God protected me from her.” Sebastian hung his head. “I realized after being with you that…she wasn’t for me. She’s not the woman I love.”
When Emmeline didn’t reply, Sebastian continued.
“I’m in love with you, Em.”
“No, Seb.” She straightened up in her bed.
“Why not?”
“Your emotions are pretty strong right now. You feel with passion, and it might cloud your judgment.”
“How do I… How am I supposed to know…?”
“Pray for clarify. Wait for God’s timing.” Emmeline sighed. “I should tell myself that.”
“We both need God’s direction.”
“One of my dad’s favorite verses is from Psalm 119. ‘Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.’ I think we should spend time studying God’s Word before we make any move.”
“What are you suggesting, Em?” His voice sounded unsure, as if he didn’t mean to ask it, but had done so involuntarily.
“That we need time and space.”
“No.”
“Let’s regroup next summer. If we still have feelings for each other, we’ll go from there.” As soon as Emmeline said it, she knew it was the right thing to do.
Next summer would be the midpoint of her graduate school.
By then, she should know where she would be heading: touring as performer, or teaching harp somewhere. By then, she prayed that they would have found Claude. Or not.
“A year from now? Seriously?” Sebastian’s jaw dropped. “Did you really say one year?”
“Today next July. I have to get back to school, and you have a restaurant to run. We need time and much prayer to see if we’re meant for each other.”
“I think I can figure that out in a few months—even a few weeks. Why do we need to stay away from each other for one year?” Sebastian asked.
Then again…
“I’m grateful that you’ve helped me to look for my brother. Whether he is found or not, I think you’ve done plenty. I don’t want you to spend any more money looking for Claude.”
“I’ll do anything—”
“You’ve done so much. You’ve encouraged my parents, given us hope—God’s hope—that Claude has been spotted. We’ll figure out a low-cost way to mobilize the community to find him. I think my family can take it from here.”
“There’s more to be done.”
“Maybe, but I don’t want to owe you anymore than I already have, Seb. I think I kept my end of the bargain—I was your girlfriend for two months—almost, anyway.”
“What am I going to do for one year?” Sebastian groaned.
“Lots of things. Pray and ask God to show you. Study the Bible. Be more involved at church. Do something you know to do.”
“Like what?”
“Cook, Chef Langston. Cook.”
Chapter Forty-Six
Autumn lingered into November this year, the warmer months stretching out the season. Emmeline suspected that the upcoming winter would be a short one. Meanwhile, the hemlock, oak, and tulip trees surrounding her parents’ house played along with the autumn winds, shedding multi-colored leaves all over the yard.
Dad had regained his strength after that heart surgery in June, but he had found an excuse not to help rake the leaves today. Claude’s cat—only Claude would name a cat Chase—was napping on Dad’s lap again, and until Claude came home, no one dared to stir a sleeping cat.
“Mom, let me wheel that.” Emmeline took over the wheelbarrow from Mom, who continued to rake more leaves in the front yard.
When Emmeline returned from the composter in their backyard a few minutes later with an empty wheelbarrow, Mom was sitting on the front porch steps, taking a break.
“Is everything all right?” she asked.
“Yeah. Just a bit tired,” Emmeline said. “Had a long week of pedagogy and theory classes… You know how I love those.”
That wasn’t all, but what could she say?
Perhaps asking Sebastian to stay away from her for a whole year had been a terribly bad idea. What was done was done!
He had agreed to it.
Emmeline wondered how Sebastian was doing. He probably didn’t miss her. He was busy with his restaurant. Skye had kept her updated on it, especially when Emmeline didn’t want to know. Such was Skye.
Through all that, Emmeline found out that Sebastian had sold his house. Talia had moved out of the country, and that Jared was pursuing her because his mother wanted that grandchild.
And yes, Sebastian was still single.
So was Emmeline.
“You don’t have to drive back and forth every weekend,” Mom said. “It’s not like your dad and I need a caregiver.”
Emmeline snapped back to her conversation with mom. The leaves on the ground had piled up. She had been raking without thinking about it.
“When I was on St. Simon’s, I couldn’t come back as often. Now I’m closer.”
“All that gas money.” Mom slowed down.
“I split that with anyone who needs a ride back to Atlanta, Mom.”
“Ah yes. I forgot.”
“It’s only ninety minutes of driving each way. A straight shot.” Emmeline meant it. “I want to go to church with you and Dad on Sundays.”
“We do love having you around.” Mom got up and picked up her rake. “All right. But if you get too busy and have exams, we understand, okay?”
“I know.” After raking for a while, Emmeline asked Mom a question she had been meaning to ask for the last three months. “If Claude never comes back, will we be fine?”
“Fine?” Mom stopped raking. “We will never be fine. He’s so much a part of us, that we will never be the same again. However, we will go on. God will give us the strength to go on.”
Emmeline sniffed. “I know He will.”
“In the same way, Em, when your dad and I are gone, you will go on. Live your life, have a family, raise your children, and tell them funny stories about us.”
“Mom, don’t talk like that…” Emmeline dropped her rake, and hugged Mom tightly. “I’m going to transfer to Emory or Georgia State. I’ll stay at home and take care of you and dad, so you’ll live a long, long time.”
“Oh dear, dear.” Mom clutched Emmeline’s shoulders. “We’re not going to drop dead tomorrow—well, we could, if that’s God’s will—but what I’m saying is that we must live every day to the glory of God.”
Emmeline nodded. “I know.”
“There’s no need to transfer here and there. Too much trouble. Stay at UGA. Finish your master’s, and then if you want to come back to Atlanta, you can.” Mom looked at Emmeline. “Or if you want to go back to St. Simon’s…”
Emmeline didn’t know what to say about that. Then she smiled. “I can’t think about graduation right now. If I can finish this semester without flunking, I’d be happy and eternally grateful to God.”
“One day at a time. That’s all we can do.”
“Yep.”
“So tell me, Em. What’s really bothering you?”
&n
bsp; Chapter Forty-Seven
Emmeline did not want her parents to go to the mission in midtown Atlanta with her and Hugo, for fear of what they would find. Claude was probably in a bad shape, and that could cause Dad to get another heart attack. Mom, for all her portrayal of strength, had just recovered from a bout of cold.
Emmeline would prefer to have more company than Hugo, but the private investigator was the only person whom Helen Hu had sent from Hu Knows, Inc. Earl had another assignment, and Emmeline did not expect Helen herself to show up on such a prolonged search like this.
She was grateful that Hugo was still working on the case. He was driving the van and talking on the phone with some physician about handling a mentally ill person.
Emmeline tried to block it all out, but at the back of her mind, she feared too. She had been praying on the entire drive to the soup kitchen. She had wondered how they were going to somehow persuade Claude to go with them.
Sitting in the backseat, Emmeline pulled her wool cap over her hair. She had tied it up and stuffed it under the cap.
Still, one way or another, she knew that Claude would recognize her.
That is, if he still remembers his family.
“What if he doesn’t want to come with us?” Hugo asked on his headset.
Emmeline could not hear the answer.
She began to sweat.
Maybe it was warm in the van, but it was in the fifties outdoors this day before Thanksgiving. It wasn’t too bad for this time of the year.
She prayed that Claude would have a warm place to stay when it was cold, decent food to eat when he was hungry, and people to love him when he was lonely.
He can get all three things at home.
Hugo pulled into a church parking lot where a large tent had been set up in an empty field adjacent to it. Emmeline could see church vans with markings of different area churches. They had come together to provide a Thanksgiving meal for the homeless and the city’s poor.
“We’re here,” Hugo declared. “Keep your head down. We don’t want to spook your brother.”
“How are we going to do this?” Emmeline asked.
When Hugo had called her this morning on behalf of Helen Hu, Emmeline and her mom was at the grocery store doing last-minute shopping for their family Thanksgiving meal the next day.
