“I’m not the bad guy in all this.” James countered.
“Yes, you are.” Both Alan and Helen said it at the same time. Helen continued with, “I’m not one for laying blame. Circumstances created this situation by the direct doings of your family. I take it Benjamin Montgomery is your closest living relative. It’s natural you’d trust him. But…”
James held up his hands to ward off any further comment. “Fine, I’ll come to him, for the time being. I want him to know I’m his father, and I want to spend time with him.”
“Alone?” Joey asked.
“I’ve told you, I’m not going to give Benjamin access to him.” James watched Joey’s expression, she didn’t believe him.
“What about your private life, James. Are you seriously dating anyone who would be affected by Daniel’s entry into your life?”
His hesitation was answer enough.
“No way. If you want time with him, I’ll work it out. I’ll not have him spending time with your stream of girlfriends only to get attached and then have you move on to another.” Joey was back to defending her cub.
“Now listen, I’ve had enough of this. Yes, I date. I’m single and not about to apologize for it. I’ve kept my mouth shut about your obvious relationship with Mr. Castile. How much time does he spend with him?”
JoAnna saw the flash of fierce jealousy, saw a hint of the man she once loved. James would come to realize she and Alan were only friends. Being honest at this junction was an act of good faith on her part.
“Alan is a family friend, James. Not my lover. He’s been my attorney since I moved here. Don’t take your anger out on him. He doesn’t deserve it. Neither do I or Daniel for that matter.” Joey quieted but added, “I always knew this day would come. I’d hoped since you didn’t seek us out before this you might not want to be involved. I’m still not sure you realize what’s involved in raising a child, especially a five-year-old who thinks like a ten-year-old. He’ll question the women you expose him to. He’s very trusting and giving.”
“So unlike me?”
“No, very much like you in some ways. Sometimes I swear you’re in the room when he talks or laughs.” Pulling back her confession, she stalled the rest of her thought. “What’s your best suggestion, Helen, for all of us?”
“I’d like to see you introduced into his life in small doses at first. Maybe one afternoon you could stop by Joey’s book store for coffee. She could introduce you as an old friend, renewing contact. After he gets used to you, between the two of you, it would be best to sit him down and tell him the truth. I’ve met young Daniel, James, several times. Your son is quite a boy, and I’m quite sure you’ll agree once you spend some time with him.” She drew a deep breath before continuing. “But we all must remember he is still a child. He’ll feel the tension between you and he’ll ultimately feel responsible for it. If you and Joey can peacefully co-exist then Daniel will be more accepting. Remember, she’s been his only parent. He’ll fight to protect her as she’s fighting to protect him now.”
“Look, I’m not suggesting we go in and drop a bomb on the kid, I just don’t want second class status.”
“I don’t want him exposed to your lady friends unless you’re serious about them, engaged or married. That’s my hard and fast rule. I’ll work with you until you cross that line.”
“What about your dates? He meets them.”
“Yes, he does. But the few men I’ve dated in the past have been local people. He can relate to them, and I don’t make a habit of exposing him to a date until I’ve decided to continue a relationship.”
“What does he say about them?”
“Nothing. I’ve never made them seem important. I’m not interested in a romantic relationship at this time in my life. Just keeping him safe and secure is enough to wear me out. Dating takes too much time and effort right now. Maybe when he’s older and is more involved with his school and friends, but my shop has kept me very busy.” Joey stopped and had to pull back the smile that wanted to cross her lips at the realization she’d made her dream come true. “The expansion is finally complete after four months, and I just want to enjoy it and him. Can you understand that, James? Truly, it’s been a struggle every day in some way to raise him alone, and I’d not change a single day since we settled here. But this is his home.”
“I live and work in Manhattan. There’s enough to keep us busy on weekends when he visits.”
“When he’s older maybe. Right now, I’d prefer to keep him in comfortable surroundings.”
“Why don’t we plan on meeting back here in two weeks to reappraise the situation? In the mean time, why don’t you drop in and say hello to him, see how he takes to you. It might give us a direction for further visits.” Helen glanced at her watch and tucked papers into her leather folder. “Stay and talk for a while. Nobody will bother you, but I’ve got a meeting I can’t miss. Does anyone have any questions?”
“Yes. Until now, Daniel had just been Danny Sheridan. Do you have any suggestions how I can…how we,” Joey corrected, “can explain why his father didn’t give him his name?”
“No. Let me think on it. The truth will ultimately be the best answer. For now, maybe you could gloss over it. He’s five. He may not realize the difference for a while.”
“Oh, come on, Helen,” Alan said in frustration. “We all know what small towns are like. The gossip mill is running already with two strange vehicles in front of your office. Then he suddenly starts to appear on a regular basis. Someone will be only too happy to invade his young world with innuendos he won’t understand.”
“I agree. Let’s not worry about his name for now.” Helen smiled and wished them good luck, adding she’d hope by the time they met again, they’d have a direction to work within. Closing the door quietly behind her as she left, the remaining three stared at each other. Finally James spoke.
“Alan, I understand you hate me, the idea of me, and the sight of me, but you’re going to have to get used to me being around, in town and in Joey’s life.”
“What about Daniel’s life?” Alan quickly countered, ready for a confrontation.
“That goes without saying. We’re all going to have to make adjustments. I understand this is all Benjamin’s fault and mine for not doing something about it years ago. But we’re here now, and it would go a long way toward Daniel accepting me if he sees you aren’t ready to murder me every time we meet.”
“For Daniel’s sake and for Joey’s, I’ll not judge you in public, but you have to understand the minute you become more than a tourist in town, people will start talking.”
“Can I ask what Joey told you about this situation before Dr. Harris came forward?”
“Nothing.” He held James’ eye and didn’t blink. “I’ve known her almost four years, and all she’s said is that circumstances and business made it impossible for the two of you to be together. She’s never even mentioned your name. In fact, it’s probably the few times she’s cut me off flat when I would ask about Daniels father.”
James looked to Joey.
“It’s a small town. I was starting a new life. I wanted us to be taken at face value before anyone found out you allowed…that Ben had engineered our break up. I had Aunt Alice and Uncle Henry to confide in. They know what really happened. As far as I know, they’ve never told anyone else.”
“Did you tell them about all this?”
“Yes, I spoke with Aunt Alice at length over the last days and Uncle Henry called last night to wish us all luck.” She gave him a half smile before turning away from him. Tears rolled down her cheeks.
Both James and Alan were quiet while she pulled herself back together. This one short lapse was the first time she’d let her armor crack in public. She stood and started pacing the small corridor between their seats and the wall. With obvious distress in her voice she turned to both men.
“Alan, I need your help. If you accept James into our circle, Daniel will too. He sees you as an uncle, trusts y
ou. James, you have to watch what you say and to whom. Any insinuation before we’ve talked with him will come back to haunt us all.” Both men nodded their acceptance. Joey took several tissues from a box on a far bookshelf and blew her nose in a very unladylike manner. When she finally turned back, she looked at the two men, ready to square off at the sound of the bell. “We have another problem, one I didn’t think of before, James.”
“Talk to me Joey,” he said. “You trust Alan, and he knows the whole situation now. He knows I’m an ass and walked away from you and my son. What could possible make this situation any worse?”
“Oh, God, I don’t…I mean I didn’t think at the time,” she searched his face for some sign of the man she once loved, finally adding, “He has a photograph of us. On top of his bureau, he has one of the pictures of us when I was pregnant. It was taken at Patty and Walt’s wedding.”
James knew the shot, knew how much they’d been in love, how much they both wanted the child she carried, how they were planning their own wedding for Presidents weekend. The baby would be five months old, and it would be the two-year anniversary of the day they first met. James turned away, his eyes filling.
“Is it a close up shot?” Alan asked.
“No. We’re standing together. James had his hand on my belly.” James closed his eyes, he remembered how they were together. Until Ben decided she didn’t fit the image he’d imagined James needed in a wife.
“Does he specifically know it’s his father?” Alan clarified.
“Yes, he knows.”
“I’ve aged. Maybe he won’t make the association.”
“Danny’s a quick kid, James. He scares me occasionally how he rationalizes life.” Alan laughed out loud, and Joey followed. James watched them through narrowed eyes.
Finally James realized it was just a release, and he too allowed himself to be affected by their contagious laughter.
“Why not just ignore it for now? If he asks, tell him yes, there is a resemblance.” Alan hesitated but went on. “Look, I’m going to be straight with you both. Joey, I love you dearly, and I know I’ll never be more than a brotherly friend to you. James, if you hurt her again, I will find you. If you hurt Daniel, I’ll bring backup, but you two can’t drag this out for long. The sooner you stop lying to him, the better it will be for all three of you.” He stood and walked toward the door. “I’ll give you two a few minutes alone.”
Closing the door as he left, the air in the room became heady with too many emotions to define. James stood and stretched, leaning his right hip on the table, watching her.
“You’re still beautiful, Joey.”
His words were sincere and she blushed before him. He watched the heat rise up her throat and land on her cheeks in two red spots. James gave her his small smile, the one he’d flash at her when he wanted to touch her and couldn’t. It told her he wanted her. But that was years ago. They’d both grown and changed.
“I’m sorry, JoAnna. If I could take it all back I would. Somewhere deep inside you, you do know that. But I won’t spend the rest of my life being humbled by the situation. Take me at face value, just as I am today and accept I’m back in your life and our son’s.”
“Please be careful with him, James. I don’t mean you’d physically hurt him, but words can be so much worse. Once said, they can’t be taken back.”
“That’s why you’ve been so brief about my existence.”
“That, and he’s young. Sometimes less is enough.”
He gave her a small nod of his head. “What about us? How you treat me will affect how he sees me.”
“I don’t really know you any more. Sometimes I think I never did, other times…”
“What Joey?”
“Other times you’ve made me so mad. I understand you moved on quickly. You were disillusioned, as you were led to believe. But didn’t you just once stop to think it through? Did you really believe in your heart that I cheated on you and Daniel wasn’t yours? After all we were together? That I’d actually let Adam touch me? Wasn’t that enough of a clue to make you question the whole situation?”
James saw the pain and heartache he’d created. With his grandfathers intrusions, but ultimately he walked away and didn’t question. He didn’t answer her, instead changed the subject. “Would you like to have lunch?” he asked.
Joey was obviously taken aback and stumbled over her negative reply. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she finally managed. Instead, she countered with, “If you’re still in the area this afternoon, why not stop by the shop?”
“As?”
“As an old acquaintance I’ve not seen in years, back in the area after a long absence. If we keep it simple, Daniel will to. So will my staff and anyone who happens to be in the shop at the time. We, Danny and I, usually go in the back from three thirty until four when workshop begins. I know it’s a short time, but…you probably want to get back to the city before the traffic mounts. It’s not a good idea.”
“NO. It’s a good idea. Don’t worry about traffic now. I’ll drop by, just back in the area and was told you’d opened a shop. I’ll say I was at the resort.”
“All right, if you’re sure?”
“I want to meet my son, JoAnna.”
Chapter Three
James drove around the area trying to clear his mind. He’d been here years ago and driven through several times but never spent time exploring the area. He instantly liked the atmosphere, could picture himself spending time here with his son. He’d have to get back into skiing again. It had been years since he waxed his skis. In truth, he wasn’t sure where they were. The last time he’d been was with Joey. They’d driven upstate to weekend with her aunt and uncle.
James remembered being comfortable with them, and feeling accepted because Joey loved him. The promises they made to each other came back to echo through his mind. JoAnna was the one woman he’d felt completely himself with. He’d always held a part of himself back before meeting her, and since then he had no interest in becoming emotionally attached to any woman. But Joey wouldn’t accept that behavior. James had opened up to her. She knew his deepest secrets. It comforted and frightened him at the same time. Yet he never felt she’d maliciously flaunt his weakness. Instead, his beloved and trusted grandfather had, extremely blatantly James now acknowledged, and had to accept.
He stopped for a burger when the ache in his temples wouldn’t cease. He’d taken stock of his options while in the area. There were two Inns he’d favor for overnight visits and a chain hotel for privacy.
Already his life had changed. Just being in the same town with her altered him. Dr. Harris’ visit had opened a door to him, even though it still racked him to the core when he let himself acknowledge what his grandfather had engineered. The blind faith and trust he’d always afforded the man was gone, instantly, with a dose of reality and positive proof of his tampering. Knowing too many situations were happening for him to settle them all at once, he decided to let Benjamin sweat for a while. He’d deal with him after he and Joey made their decisions.
Having seen JoAnna, he was forced to wonder what their life might have been. She still excited him on sight. It had always been chemical between them. Sparks flew when they touched and, oh, he remembered how they’d touched. They’d learned how to excite the other with a simple stroke of his thumb to her palm, or the way she threaded her fingers through his hair when they were in public.
While he wouldn’t admit it to anyone, every woman he came in contact with was measured against JoAnna. It wasn’t fair, but it was how his mind worked when other women were involved. He also knew it was a defensive mechanism to keep him from getting too entangled with any woman.
Pulling into a gas station to top off the tank and walk off his growing erection, he realized if Ben knew all about Dr. Harris breaking his paid silence, so would Pilar. While he’d considered her a casual friend and escort, James understood she and Ben had deeper ideas. Pilar Drake was the wife Benjamin wanted for him.
In reality, he found her annoying. She was often moody and shallow. He’d bet this new BMW by the time he got home tonight, she’d be camped on his doorstep.
Disentangling was in order, fast. Hoping to make a preemptive strike, he used his cell to call her home number, therefore allowing him the luxury of leaving a message rather than call her cell and talk directly. His message was short and to the point. He’d be very busy in the near future and she shouldn’t count on him to escort her to the function’s he’d already committed to. James added he’d talk with her when he had time. Hoping she’d take the hint and back off, even if she decided a different approach, he’d made his feeling clear.
Joey was strung tight all afternoon. Pearl knew instinctively to stay out of her way and Carol was off this afternoon. Small twists of fate, she decided, not having to introduce James to Carol meant she wouldn’t have to answer her questions. Even Carol, her closest friend and ally, didn’t know the whole story. In a short time though, she’d know all the details just as most of the community would.
The idea of being the cause of their tongue-wagging made her physically ill. Her palms went clammy, and her stomach clenched. Drawing deep breaths, she made her way to the kitchen. Out of sight she allowed herself a few moments to shatter into a hundred pieces then forced herself to pull them back one by one until she was breathing normally and thinking clearly. Her only hope was the town would learn Daniel’s father had come back, not the circumstances that separated them.
Seeing James had been jolting. The pull towards him was still undeniable. It always would be. She’d known deep in her heart she’d never stopped loving him. Not letting him know would take energy she didn’t have to spare. Running on adrenaline since Dr. Harris appeared in her life last week, JoAnna rationalized he’d see it for himself as they spent time together. Her only hope was he’d changed, become hardened and bitter. But he wasn’t, at least not the man she saw this morning. He was still the man of her life. Test results and history couldn’t change her feelings for her first and true love. Now she could stop day dreaming about an accidental meeting with him and deal with the here and now of working it all out.
Deceptions Revealed (Siren Publishing Classic) Page 3
