by Geo Dell
~
Cindy and Chloe walked through the field. The sheep were scattered throughout the high grasses, grazing.
“I just want a place where I can live,” Chloe said.
“I can see that,” Cindy answered. “Chloe... Chloe, I don't hold anything against you. I went along to stay alive too. And I think that is the truth of the situation. If we hadn't,” she shrugged. “We would have been dead... They would have killed us, Chloe, we both know it.” Her voice had dropped to a whisper when she finished.
“I thought maybe you'd hate me,” Chloe said. She choked back a sob.
Cindy stopped, put her hands on Chloe's shoulders and touched her forehead to her own. “Chloe, I don't. I couldn't. I'd have to hate myself too, and for a while... For a while I did, but only myself. I'm glad you're here.” Chloe put her arms around her and hugged her. Her eyes were leaking. She sniffled, swiped at her eyes with two fingers. The two women stood in silence for a few moments just holding each other.
Chloe drew back slowly. “Come on, Cindy. I want you to meet someone,” Chloe told her.
“Okay,” Cindy said huskily. “Then I want you to meet someone.
The two young women turned and walked back through the field toward the cave, leaving the sheep and the dogs to the field.
~
They decided to eat outside in the small area that surrounded the pool at the bottom of the running falls, below the cave. There were a half dozen large trees that provided shade for the area. Mike, Ronnie, Bob and Tom left and then returned with several rough wooden tables on the back of a wagon. A second trip bought all the chairs that they could scrounge up, but they were still far short. Quilts spread under the trees fixed that problem. Several of the chairs were left empty as many decided the quilts spread under the trees were a better bet.
Lunch was a whole roasted pig, mashed potatoes and canned peas. Zucchini bread made with the sourdough mix they had managed to get going and sustain. And several loaves of sourdough bread.
They had begun picking berries to make pies two days before, and there was not a single bush in the valley that still held wild berries. What hadn't gone into the pies had gone into storage in the cool reaches of the cave. Fresh cream, butter and three kinds of cheese were on the table.
Craig and Tom carried the pig away from the fire and sat it on a huge wooden platter on one of the tables. It hung over both ends. Two additional platters began to fill up with meat as the two men carved from opposite sides of the pig.
People tended to form small groups, sitting together and talking as they ate. Getting to know each other.
“I was in my second year of residency,” Steve Choi told Sandy in answer to her question. “I was beginning to like that fast pace of the emergency room in a big hospital. I was leaning more and more towards trauma surgery, maybe a position right there where I worked.”
“I worked in a small Northern New York town. No drama, no trauma, at least not very often. We were next to a huge military base. They had their own hospital, but we got the serious stuff they couldn't handle, which pretty much meant a lot of that was stuff we couldn't handle either. Most of the time it was tough staying awake for the shift,” she said truthfully.
“Half the time I had that problem too, I just couldn't find my way to a bed to make it happen. In a larger hospital if you aren't dealing with the trauma you're dealing with the paperwork from it. Keeps you on your toes,” Steve told her.
Sandy nodded. “I've been teaching Susan what I know. She helps me a lot. We've been trying to identify plants that have medicinal properties. Herbs too. Next spring we'll have a pretty good garden area to plant so we'll have what we need on hand,” she told him.
“Do you like nursing? Well, more like doctoring, I guess,” Steve asked Susan.
“I do. I had never done anything like this. I was a legal secretary, you know, do all the work so the lawyer can take the credit and look good. It was a rut, but I couldn't find my way out of it. I probably didn't try too hard though... Until I met Sandy: Until the world changed, I just didn't think of other possibilities,” Susan told him.
Steve nodded. “I have Joe. If not for what happened I... I don't know what I would have been doing. Still trying to be me on the sly. The hospital frowned on gay doctors, not on the record of course. But gay doctors made less, got skipped over for promotions, that kind of thing that is there, but you really can't prove. Still, there were more than a few of us. The world was almost there, becoming more and more intolerant of hate, and the ones that weren’t were on the way out. It looked like it could be a good place in the near future. Even so, like you said, I didn't think of other possibilities until I met Joe: Once we met... Once the world was done controlling my life, I opened my eyes and really looked.” He reached over and squeezed Joe's hand and his eyes followed, smiling.
He lifted his eyes back up to Susan. “I guess I asked because I can teach you what I know. The more of us that have the knowledge, the better... I guess I'm thinking long term. Pass it down to our children even... Would that interest you? Either of you? Both of you?” He asked.
“Are you kidding? Yes!” Susan said.
“Yes, yes and yes! Absolutely. We have been trying to learn on our own as best we can... Yes... We would really like that,” Sandy said.
Steve nodded and smiled broadly. “You could teach me about herbs... Medicinal plants. I don't know anything about that part of it. It's the way we'll have to go once the medicine stocks run out, or expire, and become worthless. We bought a lot back with us, but it won't last forever.” He smiled and nodded as much to Sandy as to himself. “Yeah. That way we can exchange information and knowledge. Be on the same page.”
~
A large group sat under the shade of a spreading oak. Violet Hidecki, Roberta Teals, Pam Glass, Darren John, George Dell and Edward Horton.
“I would have never thought to live in a cave,” Roberta said.
“I know. I would have thought, sleeping bears... Bats. That kind of thing,” Violet said.
“Well this whole area is probably riddled with caves. You can see the limestone, and that's what formed this cave too. I've read a little about this area,” Edward said.
“Really?” Pam asked.
“Really,” Edward agreed. “It, the limestone, dissolves over time leaving these huge caves behind.” He was in awe of Pam Glass. She was older. So sophisticated. But the truth was that he probably would have been enamored with any woman here who spoke to him the way she did, included him, smiled at him. It just happened that Edward was not used to women paying him much attention. Pam favored him with a big smile and he flushed red.
“Do you suppose we'll live in the cave?” George Dell asked.
“I think we'll live where we want to live. Maybe in the cave at first, but I think I'm going to look for a spot and build a house,” Pam said. Her eyes drifted to Edward once more.
“Just like that?” Roberta Teals asked.
“Sure. What else is there? I mean we're here. This is home. I'm not going back out there, that's for sure. So this is it. I'm going to make the most of it.” She looked back at Edward once again.
“I guess that's exactly what I'll do. The people I was traveling with had talked about the same thing... I think it would have gone bad had we done it out there. It's bad out there, and who knows for how long... But here we can live... We can live here... It's a good plan, Pam,” he colored a little at using her name like he had a right to, but the way she lit up told him it had been the right thing to do.
Violet set her empty plate aside. She had watched the play between Pam and Edward. She had known where her own thoughts lay for a few days now. The old Vi would have done nothing. Too shy. Too work orientated to make the time too, but she was not the old Vi. She wasn't exactly a brand new Vi, but she was most definitely a changed Vi. She lifted her eyes.
“Darren,” she began. He heart began beating harder in her chest. He looked over at her. He had been looking at her fo
r the last two days. His eyes asking plainly. The attraction was there, and it wasn't one way, she was interested too. “I was wondering... I'd like to see the upper field where they took the sheep... I was wondering...” She locked eyes with him.
“Yeah... Yeah, I want to see that too,” Darren said. His face went a little pale around his eyes. He seemed instantly tongue tied, more frightened than she was. He swallowed hard as he rose to his feet. Stopping in a half crouch before he realized he had stopped and then rising to his full height and clearing his throat. “You want to see it with me?” he asked. He stepped forward.
Violet lifted one hand and Darren easily pulled her to her feet. “I'd like that,” she told him as she stood and brushed at the seat of her jeans. They made their goodbyes to the small group and then walked of toward a path that left the ledge above and then wound its way up to the ridge and the field.
~
“I don't got a girlfriend or a wife,” Mark said to Alicia.
“I don't neither.” Alicia told him seriously.
“I might marry Janelle when I grow up,” he said. “She's really smart.”
“I'm smart too,” Alicia told him. “See?” She held out both hands, fingers spread and counted to ten. She smiled at him.
“You really are smart,” Mark said. “Do you think you would marry me when you get older?” he asked.
“Maybe,” she told him. She looked him over seriously. “You wanna play Mommy and Daddy?” She asked.
“Okay,” Mark decided after a brief pause.
~
“I've never seen silage made that way,” Josh said.
“Works,” Bob agreed.
“Works well,” Josh countered. “He took a bite of cheese from the piece on his plate. “This is made from deer milk?”
“Yeah,” Bob agreed a little sheepishly. He smiled crookedly. “I thought why not. The deer, like the moose in the valley just fell in with our cows and followed us here. They tamed up pretty quick too: Once they were eating better the milk began to taste better too. I thought, well, what the hell.” He smiled, shrugged and then changed the subject. “Do you really think we can hook that harvester up to a team of oxen?”
“Yeah I do, don't you?” Josh asked.
“Yeah... Yeah, I do, but I just can't see any way to do it: Can't work it out in my head,” Bob said.
“Oh. Well don't worry about that. I haven't worked it out in my head either, but we'll just put Tim on it. I've paid attention to the boy. He's smart. He'll work it out,” Josh said.
Bob laughed. “I believe he will. And probably expend less energy that we would to get it to work.” They both laughed.
~
After lunch they spent the better part of the day settling in: They decided that for the time being the main area of the cave would be used for a huge communal sleeping area. With some blankets, a few quilts and some stones to use as boundary lines they worked it out quickly with plenty of leftover space.
Before nightfall there were three new couples: Edward Horton and Pam Glass. Violet Hidecki and Darren John, and it only took about ten minutes of Sharon and Josh talking to one another and they were inseparable.
Later in the evening after a much more subdued evening meal, Candace, Lilly, Cindy and Tim played some music. They were all surprised when Bonnie picked up a guitar and coached Amy, who she had been teaching a little, to follow along. They played along, laughing and enjoying themselves.
Eventually the evening wore down and everyone drifted off. Mike and Candace said their good nights and then walked off down the valley to their little stone house with Ronnie and Amy. They split up, wished each other good night, and then Mike and Candace made their way to their front porch and sat on the small swing Mike had made with Bob's help, looking out at the moonlit valley.
“She's in love with you, Mike,” Candace said.
“I know... She told me she'll get over it,“ Mike said.
Candace frowned. “Maybe... Maybe not.”
“Mike looked over at her and caught her eyes with his own. “I told her I love you... I told her what that means to me... I left no room for doubt, Baby. No way would I let any...”
She stopped him with a kiss that went on and on. “I know.” She rested her head against his own. “She'll have to get over it then,” she said breathlessly.
Her lips came back down to Mike's own and he kissed her passionately, his hands tracing the sides of her breasts. “Can we?” He asked her.
“Oh yeah. Yeah we can.” She took his hand and led him into the house.
~
Jessie's Diary:
I am on my feet. This is a beautiful place. I loved it from the first I saw it. I can't stay though. I love Mike and I can't be here and not have him. It would drive me crazy. It would make this perfect place a perfect hell.
How, speaking of hell, how in hell do you fall into love with someone that fast? I have never fallen that fast: Never, not ever. I have always been the one in control. I'll tell you, I don't like it at all.
I have to stay for a while. I can't leave the way I am. I have to figure out what to do, make the right decision, not just run away like some heartsick little girl. And I have The Fold to think of, keep foremost in my decisions. I miss everyone back at Snoqualmie: Joe, Becky, so many others, but Mike pulls at me.
Have you ever loved someone with everything that you are? All that is in you? Well, that is where I am at. A right next to that I have the Fold. My own people waiting on me. Could it work out here? Could we all be happy here? Would they come? Are they still there? I have to answer that question and soon.
~
Candace's Journal
I spent today taking it easy. There are so many extra hands now, that when Sandy says grounded she means grounded. Now she has two doctors to back her up. I don't actually mind. I have other things I want to do anyway, and it really is getting uncomfortable to do even simple things. It's like I just blew up all at once.
I wrote a poem. It's sort of poetry anyway, about Nellie and Molly. I know Tom is making some stone markers for our little cemetery. There will be a service, maybe I'll read it then. As for the real cemetery, it is quite a way away from the little park at the bottom of the falls, but it is still close enough to be seen from there. I think it needs to be farther away, or... I don't know, but it makes me wonder every time I see it. And I have seen others end up with their eyes locked on it and I know their thoughts have gone wandering too. A cemetery is supposed to be a place of rest, a place to go and remember. I guess we remember but we remember the wrong things.
Bonnie is a musician she joined in tonight and it was really nice to hear her play. She did some instrumental stuff that blew me away. She has talent in those fingers.
It's funny, but in the old world you would see people together and you would see their relationship unfold and grow over the space of weeks or months. In fact weeks, maybe even months might be considered to be moving too fast in that old world. Not here though. Here it's an hour. I know I am exaggerating, but not much. A day or so, any more than that and someone else might be in the picture narrowing up your choices. It's kind of... Well, I guess it would be scary if you really thought about how fast things are changing, but we don't really have it right there up front. It's buried back in your head. A sort of, well, that's just the way it is now, deal. It must seem strange to people sometimes though, or maybe we are all so changed by this that most of us don't even see it anymore.
I saw it happening the last few days and it reminded me how fast it was for Mike and me. I saw him, I knew it in my heart. I just walked over to him and laid it out. Bold!
I was never that way. I'm not shy, but I'm not bold either. I spent a few years on the streets in Syracuse. That took something... Courage? A will to live? Something like that. And when I say streets I mean streets.
At first I drew lines. I won't pass this line. I won't do this, no way will I do that. Ha, I passed every line I drew in the sand. From drugs to riding in cars.
Mike knows. Amy knows.
This diary is for the two of you and whoever else I am blessed with. Brothers? Sisters? I don't even know you yet and my mind is skipping ahead to the next thing. But it is fair that you know who I was. It doesn't really mean anything about who I am now. But it is who I was for a while. I'm not proud of it, but maybe I learned something about boldness there. When you have to eat from dumpsters, sleep in abandoned houses and take rides with men that have nothing to do with riding you have to be able to be bold. At least bold enough to feel something. To have hope inside of you. How ever I got it, I am glad I got it, have it. It put me with Mike, your father. It put me right here, right now. It has been a long strange trip, but I am glad I am here. Did I just steal a classical song reference? I'll have to tell you about that song. About life. You don't even know what the world was and you probably never will. It is such a sobering thought. Such an awesome responsibility.
Tomorrow we're going to look deeper into the caves. Follow some tunnels, that shouldn't be too physical. Amy, me, Lilly and Bonnie. Craige and Cindy too, maybe. You can feel air coming through those passages, so they must go somewhere: Who knows what we'll find. I'm looking forward to it.
Today Bob, Tim and Josh are out working out some sort of harness system to use the oxen to pull the harvester. That would really save us a lot of time. It is not huge, but it isn't small either. It's designed to offload onto a wagon that runs beside it. The flat wagon we have won't do so they are going to build a couple of new wagons using parts from the trucks.
One of the things they bought back was a welder. Tim says it will run from a generator until he can get the rest of the work done on the power house.
Jessie Stone was talking last night about the second valley and what lies beyond it. I think if she can convince some of her people to go with her she will go and find out. Maybe even before winter, although I would have to try to talk her out of that. There isn't enough time. Or is there? I have wondered as have the others, when winter will come. It was certainly cut short this past year, so maybe it will be late arriving this fall? Wait and see, I guess.
