by Sara Summers
We all went back to eating. Spending time with Tanner and his family, I felt more like myself than I had felt in a long, long time.
Thirteen
Emma and Logan had to go back to California that night to get back to filming, so we said goodbye when they dropped us off at my dad’s house. We headed upstairs together after they left.
Tanner closed the door to my bedroom softly and leaned up against it.
“So,” he said, casually.
“So what?” I sat on the edge of my bed, waiting for him to make a move.
“You’re still okay with what happened earlier? I know it’s a little early to be getting physical, but…” he trailed off and shrugged.
“But we’re soulmates, and I really don’t care how early it is.” I set that straight, hopefully for good.
“Good.” Tanner covered the distance between us, grabbing me around the waist and pulling my body to his. I cupped his face with my hands and pressed my lips to his.
The kiss started slow and sweet, getting hotter the longer it went on until Tanner and I started walking to the bed.
“Wait,” I pulled away for a second, my hands crumpled in his t-shirt.
“Why?” he leaned in to kiss me again, and I covered his mouth with my hand.
“I heard something.” I closed my eyes, like it would help me listen better or something.
“I didn’t—“
“Hallie!” my dad yelled from downstairs.
My eyes flew open wide when I heard his feet on the stairs.
Tanner pulled his shirt out of my hands and fixed his hair, hurrying over to sit down on the couch so he didn’t look suspicious. I straightened my own shirt and pulled my crazy hair over one shoulder, taming it just a little.
“Hey, dad.” I smiled and adjusted the neck of my shirt, meeting my dad by the door of my room. All of my excitement from the makeout session vanished when I saw the manila folder in his hand, which I knew would have his latest brain scans in them. My smile faded.
“Look at this, Hal.” He handed me the folder.
I opened it, and my jaw dropped open when I saw the new scan.
It was completely clean.
“No way.” I looked from the scan to my dad a few times until I turned to Tanner. “The tumors are gone. They’re gone, Tanner!” I turned back to my dad and threw my arms around him, squeezing him tight. “It’s a miracle.”
I looked up into his watery eyes with my own.
“We made it, thanks to you.” He pulled me in for another hug.
“Congrats, Mr. Mayfield.” Tanner gave my dad a hug next, and then he held me tight when I wrapped my arms around him and held on for dear life.
“I’m going to celebrate by going to bed early, Hallie, but I thought you’d want the news.” He kissed my forehead and went downstairs.
I was practically buzzing with energy, looking up at Tanner with so much excitement I could hardly take it.
“I survived, Tanner. I survived and he did too, and now I get to keep my dad for the rest of my life. I can’t believe it.” I laughed and shook my head.
“You’re incredible, Hallie.” Tanner brushed his hand over my face.
“Thanks.” I bit the inside of my cheek. The excitement from the news slowly faded as I realized that this part of my life was over. I was going to have to move on, move out, and figure out what I wanted to do with my life.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Tanner asked.
“I have no idea what I want to do. I don’t know who or what I want to be. Now my dad’s fine, and I have to figure it out.” I looked up at the ceiling.
“You don’t have to figure it out right now.” He squeezed my hands. “You said you know that you want our relationship to grow, right?”
“Yes. I want to be with you, I think that might be the only thing I know for sure.”
“So let’s focus on that for the next few days, weeks, months… however long you need. You can decide who and what you want to be along the way.” He suggested.
“That sounds perfect.”
When I realized it was time for bed, I walked back to the couch. Tanner walked with me, taking my hand as we went.
“Do soulmates usually sleep together their first night?” my voice was quiet when I asked.
“Usually.” Tanner held one of my hands in both of his.
“That sounds intimate.” I admitted. “Even if we just sleep.”
“It is.” His voice sounded a little lower, and for the first time that day, unsure.
If he was unsure about sharing a bed with me, I didn’t want to drag him into it.
“I won’t be offended if you want to wait a few days or weeks.” I said, giving him a way out if he wanted to take it.
“You think I want to wait?” Tanner’s eyebrows shot into his forehead. “I must not have been clear about how I feel about this.” He gestured between the two of us.
“You looked conflicted.” I pointed out the proof behind my reasoning.
“I am conflicted. Part of me wants to tell you that I need to spend tonight touching you, that my mind and body are craving holding you close. The second part of me knows that you didn’t come from my world and that you probably aren’t comfortable with that first part of me.”
“It means that much to you just to share a bed?” I was curious again. He seemed like a normal person most of the time, but there really were differences between him and me.
Still holding one of my hands in both of his, he placed my hand over his heart.
“It means everything to me.”
“Why?” Maybe it wasn’t the most romantic of questions, and honestly I would’ve shared the bed with him even if he didn’t respond, but I was curious.
“Because I’m a wolf, and being alone is the worst feeling a wolf could possibly have. Now that I found you, I finally feel like I’m not alone anymore.” He was completely serious.
“How could you feel alone? You have a great family and a twin brother who you said is your best friend. You don’t need romance to make you complete.” I frowned, not understanding.
“Maybe you don’t.” he shrugged a little. “Wolves aren’t solitary creatures, Hallie. We surround ourselves with packs, which makes us feel better, but we need more. We need our soulmates. It’s worse for guys, and the more dominant you are the worse it is. Besides, my family isn’t perfect.” He gave me a sad smile.
“What are you talking about? Emma and Logan drove all the way here just to bail you out of jail. And what does dominance have to do with anything?” I felt like there was a huge chunk of shifter-hood that I’d never heard about before.
“Dominance has to do with everything. Wolf shifters and Lions are the only ones who have it, so you’ve probably never heard of it before. Basically, it’s the power that holds packs together. The guy with the most dominance is the Alpha, and he keeps the peace between the other shifters. We can be pretty hard-headed sometimes.” Tanner explained.
“Okay, so you control other shifters with dominance? Can you like, force them to do things?” I checked.
“If you wanted to get ripped apart by the rest of the pack, sure. Justice is important in a wolf pack, and if an Alpha isn’t fair he typically ends up dead.”
His words startled me.
“Alright, so don’t piss of other shifters. Got it.”
“That’s usually a good plan.” Tanner agreed. “We usually use dominance to hold back anyone who’s out of control. The Alpha is usually more of a peace-keeper than anything else.”
“What does that have to do with your family not being as perfect as they seem?”
“Cody and I both have a lot of dominance. We duked it out when we were little and figured out that I was stronger, so that’s not an issue for us, but neither of us has ever wanted to challenge our dad. Because we won’t challenge him none of us really knows where we stand on the authority-ladder, and it causes a lot of tension whenever there’s an argument at home. Sometimes even when there’s not an argument, it�
�s tense between us.”
“So dominance pretty much just makes you bull-headed.” I figured.
“A lot of the time. We try not to let it control us, but it’s a part of us.”
“So if not having your soulmate nearby makes you feel lonely, how did Logan handle it when Emma left him? They were saying earlier that she left him twice.” I wondered.
“Oh, he was a mess, but he was a new shifter so it wasn’t as bad for him as it would be for most of us. He has less dominance too, so I think that helped. He was at our house ninety percent of the time though so I think that probably helped keep his wolf at bay.”
“What would you do if I left you or kicked you out?” I had to ask.
“If you left I would follow you until you got so tired of me trailing behind you that you came back home. If you kicked me out I’d probably sleep on the porch.” He figured. He didn’t put much thought into that, so I didn’t think he was completely positive. It seemed like he was assuming he’d never get left or kicked out, which was likely a safe assumption because I was his soulmate.
After my mom had left my dad, I’d sworn to myself that no matter how bad things got, I would never leave my husband unless he’d cheated on me.
Based on what I’d seen and heard, I was fairly certain that it wasn’t even possible for shifters to cheat on their soulmates.
When I yawned, the conversation was effectively over.
“Am I taking the couch?” Tanner’s voice was tentative.
“Only if you want to.” I stood up and he stood with me, wearing a grin that reached up into his eyes.
“I’ll turn off the lights.” He headed over to the light switch, tugging his shirt off over his head as he went.
I won’t lie, I enjoyed watching his body moved as he did so.
“Oh, I need to change.” I realized, walking over to the dresser.
I figured that since Tanner was a shifter he had seen plenty of people in their underwear, so he wouldn’t mind being flashed.
As I traded my clothes for a pair of yellow shorts and an old green t-shirt, I felt his eyes on me, his gaze so intense that I could almost feel it cutting into my skin.
“You’re doing it again.” I noted, as I walked to the bed after I finished changing. “Staring.”
“You would stare at me too if I looked as good as you.” He flipped off the light, and I could hear his footsteps softly on the carpet.
“If stared at you I would only feel inadequate.” I slipped under the blankets and scooted to the side closest to the wall, making room for him to join me.
Tanner lifted the covers and stretched out his legs, turning onto his side and propping his head up.
“I really hope you’re kidding.” He murmured, reaching his hand out to touch my face. His fingertips traced the outline of my face so softly I could barely feel it.
“I’m covered in bruises.” I pointed out.
“Because you were strong enough to take care of your dad when no one else could.” He pointed out.
“Oh just stop talking and hold me.” I turned onto my side and scooted until my back hit his front.
Tanner wrapped both of his arms around me and pulled me close.
“Gladly.” His whisper had a little growl to it. “Goodnight, Hallie.”
“Goodnight, Tanner.”
I closed my eyes, and it was almost surprising how fast I lost myself to the world of sleep.
In the arms of my soulmate, I slept better than ever before.
Fourteen
The next morning, I woke up far too early to the sound of my dad making waffles.
He hadn’t made waffles since he’d been diagnosed.
“Does he have to cook at the butt-crack of dawn?” Tanner groaned, burying his face into my neck. We were in the exact same position we’d fallen asleep in, both too comfortable to move I guess.
His nose tickled my neck, and I’m sure my hair tickled his face, but he didn’t care. I guess he was just glad to be touching me.
“How did you sleep?” I checked, turning in his arms so I could see him.
“Like I was in a coma.” He kissed my nose. “Thanks to you. I don’t think the wolf in me has ever felt so content.”
“Is that all I make you feel?” I flirted, feeling like a completely new person. With this sexy man in my bed and my father not needing a constant caretaker, I guess I kind of was a new person.
“Not even close.” He buried his hands in my hair and leaned in to kiss me on the lips. “We should brush our teeth.”
When I laughed, he grinned and put a finger to my lips.
“If your dad knows we’re awake he might interrupt again.”
“I’ll be quiet.” I promised, moving to get out of bed. Just before my foot hit the ground, Tanner grabbed me around the waist and pulled my body back toward his.
“I’m not ready yet.” He decided, kissing the side of my face. “You feel too good.”
“I’ll feel better when I’m kissing you.” I pointed out.
“True.” Tanner let go of me immediately and followed me to the bathroom.
Luckily for him, I had a large package of spare toothbrushes from the two week time-span when my dad had taken a liking to throwing toothbrushes at me and other things the year before.
After I rinsed my mouth, Tanner grabbed me around the waist and pulled me close, his lips meeting mine as soon as I lifted my chin. It wasn’t long before my legs were wrapped around his waist and he was carrying me toward the bed.
Just as Tanner and I landed on top of the mattress, we heard footsteps on the stairs.
Tanner groaned so loudly that I was scared my dad might’ve heard. I covered his mouth with my hand and glared at him, though I wanted to groan too.
“Does he have cameras in here or something?” Tanner muttered, grabbing the t-shirt he’d discarded earlier and tugging it on over his head.
“He doesn’t need cameras, he has a dad’s intuition.”
I smoothed out my hair and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling Tanner over to sit next to me. I wasn’t afraid of my dad knowing that Tanner and I had shared a bed; he would’ve figured it out if I had tried to keep it a secret, and then he would’ve been suspicious because I kept it a secret.
Tanner wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me so close that I was just about sitting on his lap.
My dad knocked on the bedroom door a second later.
“Hal, are you awake?” he called out.
“Yeah, come in.” I called back, leaning against Tanner. He was warm and comfortable, not that I was cold. After that makeout session I didn’t think I’d be cold another day in my life.
He opened the door and stepped inside the room.
“Can I talk to you for a second, Hal?” he asked.
“Of course.” I smiled, though I wasn’t sure I liked the sound of that question.
“Alone?” he asked.
I frowned a little and looked at Tanner, who gave me a small smile. I knew he was telling me that he didn’t mind leaving, but I also knew he would hear the conversation from anywhere in the house.
“I need to take a shower anyway.” He pressed a kiss to my cheek and headed out of my room and into the bathroom beside it. Just before he turned the water on, I heard him whisper softly, “An ice cold shower.”
And I had to bite back a laugh.
“What’s up, dad?” he had my attention now that my soulmate was in the shower because I was trying desperately hard not to think about the fact that he was standing in the shower without any clothes on.
“I’m going to sell the house.” He jumped right in, ripping off the Band-Aid.
“What?” my eyebrows lifted into my forehead.
“It doesn’t feel like home to me without your mom here.” He admitted. I immediately felt bad for seeming like I wasn’t on board with the idea. As hard as it had been for me when she left, I was positive that it was harder for him. Waking up with no memory of the past three years to find out that
the love of your life was married to someone else would be nearly impossible to deal with, I thought.
“Alright, where are we moving?” I tried to get on board with him getting away from a place that reminded him he would never be with my mom.
“I’m moving into an apartment.” When he said that, I felt a nail being driven into my heart.
“You don’t want me to go with you.” I couldn’t hide my sadness anymore.
“No, Hallie. I want you to get out of this small town. You should be seeing the world or going to college or at the very least, spending time with people your own age. Move in with Tanner, Hal. Start your life with him. Just enjoy being alive for a little while, honey. You’ve been taking care of me for so long that you’re missing out on making memories that you’ll cherish forever.”
My dad walked over to me and sat down on the edge of the bed. When he took my hands, I knew that he wasn’t going to be negotiable about this.
“Someone needed to do it.” I reminded him. “I don’t care about the memories, I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“I know, Hallie. But I care about the memories. You’re my little girl, and I want you to have everything. I want you to look back at your life in forty years and remember the way I helped you to fly, not the way I held you back.”
“What if I want to go with you? The tumors could come back, someone needs to be watching for symptoms.” I folded my arms and turned to face him better. “You can’t just kick me out, I won’t go.”
“I can and I am.” My dad was just as stubborn as I was. “Some people are coming to get rid of everything we don’t want tomorrow afternoon, so you have until then to pack your things.”
I stood, panic rising in my chest
“Dad!” I exclaimed. “This is ridiculous. You just barely woke up, you’re seeing things clearly. Our life is here.” I gestured to my room, my designated space in the only place I could remember ever living in.
“I’m seeing things clearly for the first time in more than three years, Hal. If I’d been in control then I would’ve done the same thing a few months after you graduated high school. This will have to do for now.” He stood up.
