by Curry, Edna
I was sitting at my desk writing a letter to my friend, Sue Billings, when Janie came up to our room. She’d just washed her long blonde hair and began putting it up in rollers. She had a date with her steady boyfriend, Joe, tonight.
“Want to come with us?” she asked casually.
I gaped at her. Aunt Alice put her up to this. So that’s what the argument was about.
I didn’t want to go if she didn’t want me along, but I didn’t want to stay home all the time, either. So I asked, “Where are you going?”
“Just roller-skating here in town, tonight. Joe has to work late, so he’ll meet me at the rink instead of coming to pick me up as he usually does.”
“Roller-skating? You’re kidding!” I stared at Janie.
I’d known, of course, that small town life would be different from the city. Dad had warned me with a little speech about adjusting myself gracefully. “Remember, just because our ways are different here in the city does not mean they are necessarily better. I was raised in a small town myself and I sometimes wish I could return to some of those ways,” he’d said.
But honestly, this was too much. I hadn’t been on roller skates since I was a little girl, back in maybe fourth grade. Then the kids in our neighborhood used to skate on the sidewalks in front of our homes. But roller skating now? On teen-aged dates?
Janie looked patiently at the ceiling and sighed. “No, I’m not kidding, infant,” she said in that pained voice she put on when she had to explain something to me. Janie was two years older than I and she never let me forget it. To her crowd, I was a mere child, to be alternately tolerated or ignored.
“It’s not like what kids do on sidewalks at all. It’s like dancing with a boy in step, side by side. There’s a huge room and you go round and round the wooden floor in a big circle in different steps to different kinds of music.”
“Oh, really?” I said skeptically.
“Yes, really. They use soft-colored lights for atmosphere. Every other tune they play is for a new partner; you sit on the wooden benches on the sidelines and the boys come ask you to skate that tune with them. When the music stops, your partner brings you back to your place. Then there’s an all-skate time before the next date skate,” she said tossing me a pitying glance and plugging in her hair dryer. “So you can skate at least half the time even if a boy never asks you.”
That did it. As if I wouldn’t get asked. I’d show her!
“Okay, I’ll go,” I said, trying to sound as if I couldn’t care less. I’d learned not to let Jane know when she’d succeeded in making me mad, because if I did, she stayed on the subject of whatever had irritated me until I nearly went crazy. “What do you wear to the rink?”
“Something full-skirted so you can move your legs easily. Watch your slip, too or you’ll split it before the evening’s over. The young girls wear jeans, you could still wear those if you want to.”
“I’m fifteen! That’s not little.”
Jane merely smiled and continued drying her hair.
Oooh! How am I going to stand it here for a whole year?
“Most of us have our own skates, but you’ll have to rent some at the rink,” Jane said. She got out her white leather shoe skates from their metal carrying case and began to apply white liquid shoe polish to them. Then she took off the blue pom-poms and strung some bright yellow, orange and brown ones on the white laces at the toes instead. “I’m wearing my brown and gold skating outfit tonight,” she explained. She went back downstairs.
I went through my closet critically, wondering what on earth to wear. I’d prefer my usual slacks and tops, but if Jane and her friends were wearing skirts, I wanted to wear one, too. Suddenly all my clothes seemed all wrong and a bit childish, compared to Jane’s things. I finally chose the blue skirt and sweater outfit Daddy says matches my eyes.
Daddy!I miss you so much. Why did you have to go so far away? I wiped away some tears of homesickness, glad Jane wasn’t here to notice. Then I washed and curled my hair with a curling iron, then carefully did my nails. I eyed myself in the mirror, assuring myself I really looked older than fifteen.
We rushed through supper so we’d have more time to dress. Aunt Alice gave us a ride over to the rink, since she was going shopping anyway.
I looked around in surprise. The little town certainly looked different. I soon learned that Saturday night is not like any other night in a small town. It’s the night. Little Sparville had suddenly come alive. It buzzed with cars and people. The streets were crowded with people just standing around talking to each other. The whole population must be uptown and all the people from the surrounding farms as well.
A large crowd lined up at the ticket window of the theater, mostly kids from eight to twelve. The billboard in front advertised a horror movie.
“Ugh. What a movie to show little kids,” I said to Jane. “Why don’t they watch TV instead? They’ll all have nightmares after watching that one. I sure did.”
“Watch TV on a Saturday night?” Jane looked at me as if I’d lost my mind. “Nobody stays home on Saturday night, not even grandmothers, unless they’re sick. They come just to visit each other or watch the drawing for prize money, if nothing else.”
We climbed out of the car in front of the big building which housed both the town hall and the roller rink. Loud music from the rink reached us before we entered. We waded through the crowd of spectators at the front door.
We purchased tickets and hung up our coats at the coat rack and Janie helped me choose the right sized skates and put them on. Then Joe, her boyfriend, arrived and helped her put on her skates, so I was left alone in the noisy bustling crowd of strangers. Panic gripped my gut, but I raised my chin and put on a smile. I can do this.
At the first all-skate, it seemed everyone rose and rolled onto the floor at once, so I ventured out, too. But the skaters moved so fast that I was soon pushed to the center of the floor, to practice with the slow beginners. Yikes, It’s been so long since I’ve done this, I’m out of practice.
Once I fell, but I managed to get right back up on my feet, though I was pretty unsteady. And when I watched some of the couples practicing the schottish, and a tall, blond boy doing a spin in the center to show off for his girl, I felt pretty green.
Then the whistle blew for the next date skate and I went back to my seat on the sidelines. I watched the older teens choose dates and skate together in laughing, happy couples. They all seemed to be having a good time.
But no one asked me. I skated the next two all-skates and watched Jane and Joe circle the floor during the date skates. The lighting was dim so I couldn’t always be sure whether I was watching the correct couple unless they passed under the spotlight, which was supposed to be the moon.
The music had changed to another date skate. I was beginning to think Jane was right about my being too young for this when I saw someone approaching me across the room. Over the roar of rolling wheels on hardwood, the beat of the music echoed my excited heartbeat. Was he really coming to me?
Yes! A tall boy emerged from the dim light, holding out his hand to me in invitation. “Skate?”
“I—I’m not very good, yet,” I stammered. A boy was actually asking me to skate!
“Sure you can,” he answered, and before I realized what I was doing, I had put my hand in his and was rolling out onto the floor. I clung to him, trying to keep my balance in the unfamiliar pose of skating double.
His grin faded, but he gallantly steered to toward the less crowed center. Somehow, we circled that floor several more times.
Then I tripped and we almost went down. “Please, let’s sit down,” I said, my face burning.
“Okay.” He guided me through a break in the whirling couples and back to my place on the bench.
“Thank you,” I managed, safe on my seat at last.
“You’ll learn!” To my surprise, he didn’t leave, but sat beside me with a relieved grin.
My heart pounded with embarrassment. I looked
around to see if Janie had seen us. Luckily, she was still skating with Joe and didn’t seem to have noticed my fiasco. I smiled shakily at the dark haired boy beside me. “I guess I’m not quite ready for couples skating yet. I just moved here from Milwaukee and I haven’t been on skates in years.”
He told me his name was Hank and laughed when I said mine was Mary. “What good, old-fashioned names. And they each have four letters. Like twins. You were meant just for me!”
I laughed too, at his silliness.
“Why don’t we clear out of here and get a malt or something?” he asked.
He has the bluest eyes and a nice smile. Still, I hesitated. “Oh, but I came with Jane. She’d wonder where I went,” I began.
“Leave her a note.”
Why not? Won’t she be surprised. Besides, I’d only be in the way when Joe takes her home. She’ll be glad to be rid of me.
“Okay.” I dug a scrap of paper from my purse and wrote a quick note on it. Then I stuck it in Jane’s skate case, where she’d be sure to see it when she took off her skates before leaving the rink. Then I turned in my rented skates and slipped into my coat and we went across the street to the local teen’s hangout.
Music played as we entered the family restaurant. Several couples were dancing on the small amount of floor space left in the crowded room. We found an empty booth in the back corner. No one spoke to either of us except the waitress who appeared to take our order.
“You’re new here, too?” I asked.
“No, what made you think that?”
“No one seems to know you here, either. I haven’t been here long enough to meet anyone yet.”
“Oh. Well, I’m from Laketon, about ten miles from here. We don’t have a rink, so I come over here to skate.”
We talked on and on as we sipped our malts. I’d never met anyone with as flattering a line as he had. He made me feel lovely and desirable and grown-up.
When we left, he opened the door of his jalopy for me and got behind the wheel. “There’s a beautiful moon, and it’s still early. How about a little drive before I take you home?”
“Sure,” I said, my heart pounding.
He drove past the Junior High School. “Is this where you go to school?”
“Yes, but it’s my last year there.”
He tossed me a grin. “Oh yeah? Then I’m a year ahead of you. I graduated last year.”
I gulped, realizing he thought that was the Senior High building. But I didn’t correct him. If he graduated last year, he was about nineteen. So how would he react if he knew I was only fifteen? He’d drop me like a hot potato.
We drove around in the country for a while, then he turned onto a driveway that led only to a hayfield. When he turned off the motor and lights, it was completely quiet except for the singing sound of grasshoppers. The moon hung in a large gold circle in the eastern sky, giving just enough light to see the outline of fences and trees.
He put his arm around my shoulders. I trembled with nervousness, yet was thrilled. When he drew me close to him and kissed me, I responded eagerly.
This obviously wasn’t the first time for him. He knew how to warm a girl up. We kissed again and again until I drew back in fear of what my emotions were leading to.
“We’d better go home, now,” I managed, sucking in a long breath and straightening my hair.
He nodded and started the car.
As he left me at Aunt Alice’s door, he kissed me again. “Meet me at the rink next Saturday?”
“Okay,” I breathed, and ducked inside. Leaning against the door, I listened to his car drive away, then ran upstairs to the bathroom and closed the door.
I stared at my flushed face in the mirror. I looked like a new girl, eyes bright with excitement, hair, well that was a mess. I grinned happily. I had a date with a cute, older boy!
I brushed my hair and washed my face slowly, deliberately taking time to relive the warm thrills his arms and kisses had sent running through me.
Then I heard Jane tiptoe up the steps so she wouldn’t wake her folks. She seemed surprised to see me still up. The roar of Joe’s jalopy echoed through the house as he sped off down the street. She made a face at the noise.
“Hi!” I greeted her.
“What are you doing still up?” She sounded annoyed.
“Just not sleepy. I thought I’d try to brush some of the dust out of my hair. I don’t know where it all comes from. That hardwood floor seemed shiny clean when I went into the rink.”
“I know, it just seems to come out of the cracks when everyone gets rolling. It’s always that way.” There was a new tone to her voice, the merest suggestion of comradeship instead of condescension.
I carried the brush back to our bedroom and went on brushing my hair as she undressed. She got into her pajamas and covered her face with cold cream.
“Say,” she said, a bit hesitantly, “Who was that boy you were skating with?”
My heart jumped. She had noticed after all.
“Oh, just a guy. His name’s Hank,” I said, trying to sound normal and matter of fact.
“Kinda cute.”
“Yeah, he is, isn’t he?”
“Better come to bed before Mom notices the lights are still on.”
“Okay. I guess I’ll have to shampoo the dust out, anyway. It feels sticky.” I snapped off the light and got into bed.
In the darkness, Janie’s voice came softly. “The gang’s going swimming tomorrow night. Want to come with us?”
This time no one had made her ask me! “I’d love to.”
In the morning, Aunt Alice disapproved of our plans. “You’re awfully young to be dating,” she said.
“All the girls my age do back home,” I insisted. That wasn’t quite true, but some of them did, so why not me?
Luckily, she said no more and so I went swimming with Janie and her friends and waited happily for the next Saturday. I even went down to the rink on Wednesday night and practiced skating with the younger kids.
Saturday night came and was a happy repetition of the last one. We left the rink early and again spent a thrilling hour in the dark countryside.
Date followed date and each one led to a hotter necking session before he took me home. I knew it was wrong, but I was lonesome and feeling rebellious at having to live in this small town away from all my friends back home. So I figured I had a right to some fun. And I wasn’t exactly in the right mood to obey the rules.
Hank’s words were smooth and flattering, His kisses thrilled me all week while I went to the new school and sat among strangers. Even as I gradually became acquainted, I found no one to compare with Hank. The boys all seemed childish and sassy. And, of course, none of them had a car.
Jane was nice enough, though sometimes with Aunt Alice’s prodding, but she was too busy with her friends during the week and dates with Joe on weekends to pay much attention to me.
Sometimes Hank and I went to a movie, sometimes skating. I was getting pretty good. Once we went to a party at one of his buddies’ house near Laketon. I really felt out of place that night. Everyone there was older and all were making out and drinking beer and smoking. I’d never seen people neck and pet in front of each other like that before and it embarrassed me to death.
One of the obviously drunk guys grabbed me and began to kiss me and squeeze my breasts. I fought him off in disgust. Luckily, Hank saw it and we left. I was shaking. Hank was mad and jealous. “You’re all mine, baby,” he said angrily. “All mine.”
And that night his lovemaking was furious. I’m not sure whether the beers we’d had made us less resistant or what. But we were too hot to stop that night and went all the way. Later, I was sorry and scared, but Hank kissed away my doubts.
And, of course, having once done so, after that night, our parking sessions continued to lead to lovemaking, though now we took precautions against pregnancy. I was careful never to drink again, however. Aunt Alice had smelled the liquor on me the next morning and been furious. On
ly my promise never to drink again prevented her from forbidding my dating. If she’d known about the rest of it, I’d never have gotten away with it.
As it was, we had to leave the roller rink early to leave enough time for parking and still get me home by midnight.
Then one night, Hank asked me to do him and his buddies a favor. We’d been lovemaking as usual on a dark country road, a different one this time, farther from town. So, I was in a sleepy, co-operative mood.
“We’ve got a little job to do in the next hour or so, honey. If you’ll just stay here in my car and honk the horn twice if you see anyone coming, you’ll be a big help. Okay?”
Two of his buddies, Carl and John, whom I’d met at the party, had pulled up beside our car in a small truck. We were on a dead end road with nothing but a couple of farm yards in sight.
“What are you going to do?”
“Just pick up a few of these priceless beeves, honey.”
“But that’s stealing!”
“This guy’s got hundreds of cattle. He’ll never miss a few. I’ll bet he doesn’t even know how many he’s got himself. We’ll be right back. Don’t worry. And remember, two honks if anyone comes.”
And before I could protest further, he’d gotten in the truck and they drove off.
I sat alone in the darkness, watching their taillights bob along the rough dirt road and disappear. For the first time, I realized how deeply I’d gotten in trouble by going with Hank. Suddenly I saw how little I knew about Hank except that he attracted me sexually. What would my father say if he knew what these guys were up to? How could I have been so taken in?
I considered getting out of the car and walking back to town. But I had no idea where we were or in which direction town was. As I looked around in the pale moonlight, every direction looked the same—dark and scary.
So I sat tight, my heart pounding, and vowed, This is our last date.
After what seemed like a long time, they returned and Hank got back into the car beside me. Just as he started the motor, I saw the lights of an approaching car.
