Winter at Cedarwood Lodge

by Rebecca Raisin

  Mom tucked a tendril of hair back and smiled her thanks.

  “Help me get these vegetables chopped, would you? I didn’t dare ask Clio in case she lopped a finger off or some other disaster. She’s quite hopeless in the culinary arts.”

  “Hey!” I protested half-heartedly, knowing Aunt Bessie knew how to put Mom at ease without it being obvious. Mom took an apron from the hook and put it over her head, her demeanor changing now she had a job to do.

  “Mom, this is Kai, Kai my mom, Annabelle.”

  Kai gave her a wide smile, and shook her hand. “Pleased to meet you, Mrs Winters.”

  With a tentative smile, she said, “Likewise, Kai. I’ve heard a lot about you, and it’s all good.”

  He laughed. “That’s a relief.” Mom’s charming side surprised me; it boded well for the day. Maybe she’d always wanted to be around people but just didn’t know how to after hiding away for so long.

  Mom and Aunt Bessie pottered around the kitchen, continuing to prep for lunch. They refused our offers of further help, and ushered us into the living room. “Go watch a Christmas movie, relax, unwind, you’re my guests,” admonished Aunt Bessie as she handed us two fruit mince donuts – to keep us going!

  In Aunt Bessie’s living room we went through her alphabetized Christmas movie selection and decided on Love Actually and I pressed play, before sitting next to Kai on the lumpy red sofa. We sort of fell into each other as the cushion sagged beneath us, and we brushed hands as we tried to scramble back into a sitting position. I sent a thank you to the universe that Aunt Bessie hoarded her old things and refused to update her furniture.

  When Hugh Grant’s character danced around in 10 Downing Street, we laughed when he was busted by a steely-faced aide. It had to be a sign – a man who liked a rom-com had to be of the finest order, right? Emma Thompson’s Joni Mitchell scene played, and I felt her sadness as surely as if it was my own. Surreptitiously I wiped a stray tear, but Kai caught me.

  “He’s a bit of a bastard for doing that.”

  I bit down on my lip, and let out a half-sob, half-laugh. “I love her, and even though it’s fictional I still can’t quite help thinking it’s real and he’s such a fool for hurting her. And for what? A passing flirtation with scarlet lips. It’s just the worst!”

  “I totally agree.” He leaned over and I caught my breath as he wiped a lone tear from my cheek. “It’s like he can’t see what’s right in front of him, and he is utterly stupid for that.” He gazed at me so fervently, I thought for a second he meant me.

  The air in the room hummed around us as my mind raced. Was there hidden meaning, or was I just hoping so? I’d never wanted to kiss anyone as much as I did at that moment. The man enjoyed Love Actually, for God’s sake! Didn’t that make him great? Forget heartbreak, forget about the future, all I cared about was this minute right here, so I closed my eyes and kissed him, all at once dizzy with the touch of his lips against mine. He brushed his fingertips against my cheek, and kissed me back softly. And I thought if I never felt like that again, life would be so dull. So empty.

  With my heart racing, I pulled away slightly, hoping he wouldn’t see the quake in my hands. If I ever got naked with him, I was sure I’d pass out with the wooziness of it all. Wouldn’t that be the most embarrassing thing? Stop picturing him naked, Clio! It wasn’t like I was a prude, or hadn’t had relationships before, but with Kai, even the simplest of touches felt charged, like Cupid was making sure I knew this guy was the one. And suddenly I decided to throw caution to the wind. One week with Kai was better than none, and maybe the memory of his kisses would last a lifetime…

  “Clio…” he said softly and pulled me in for another kiss.

  The crunch of tires had us leaping apart. Cruz and Amory had arrived, and that put paid to any more private time.

  “I… ah… I really love that movie, thanks for watching it with me.” Lame, can anyone say lame!

  He laughed as I scrambled out of the sofa. “Any time, Clio.”

  For someone who spent their whole life around love I was completely useless at it myself. Kai probably thought I was unhinged, or something.

  I raced over to open the door for Cruz and Amory, who were stomping snow from their boots.

  “Come in,” I said, a little breathless still but trying to disguise it with festive cheer. Amory narrowed her eyes as if she knew something was up. I let out a slightly manic laugh and smoothed my hair down.

  Suddenly Cruz clicked his fingers and tutted. “Dang it, I left the wine at the lodge. I’ll be right back,” he said as he turned to go straight back out into the snow.

  “We have a ton of wine, don’t worry,” I called, but he was already at the car holding the keys up.

  “I won’t be long, promise.”

  “Drive safe on those roads,” Amory called, but he’d already closed the door and was starting to reverse out of the drive.

  Amory turned her laser beam on me and smiled. “Why are you so flushed?”

  I pulled her inside and out of the cold. “Oh, you know, sitting by the fire and all that!” She didn’t believe me, I could tell by the textbook squint of hers.

  To distract her, I steered her toward the kitchen and asked, “Why does Cruz want more wine? We seriously have loads here.” It was a good thirty-minute round trip back to the lodge, and seemed like a lot of effort, especially when the roads were on the hazardous side.

  She shrugged and unwound her scarf. “It’s probably some fancy wine that pairs with a certain type of dish. Don’t know why he keeps bothering with all that. I’ll just guzzle it anyway.”

  I laughed, knowing it was true. Amory gave not one jot about the quality – even after taking wine-appreciation courses as part of our job. Whether she was hosting glamorous parties with fridges full of expensive champagne, or intimate gatherings with full-bodied reds that had been cellared for decades, she’d drink them down just the same as a bottle from the bargain bin and exclaim ‘not bad’.

  Amory swept into the kitchen, greeting Mom as if she’d known her for ever, giving her a tight squeeze, which had Mom’s eyes widening, and said a cheery hello to Aunt Bessie, who squished her in return.

  “That is a work of art, Aunt Bessie,” Amory exclaimed over the donut-tower Christmas tree. “Seriously, you have to start sharing these with the city crowd, they would love it!”

  I laughed as Aunt Bessie donned her specs and snapped pictures of the edible diamond decorations, all the while filling Amory in on her newfound love for Instagram. “And you see, my friend…” She made the @sign with her fingertip. “… @Donuts4Life asked me for a close-up of the edible decorations on the tree. She’s thinking of placing an order for her daughter’s birthday. A candyfloss donut tower. Pink frosted donuts, pink candyfloss, and pink edible diamonds. Wouldn’t that be every ten-year-old’s dream?”

  I sat there with my jaw hanging open. She’d embraced Instagram that quickly? I’d only just taught her what a hashtag was and here she was with followers and everything already! Calling them her friends? She seriously could charm anyone, this woman, and I loved her for it

  “This all happened in the two hours you’ve been on Instagram?” I asked.

  Aunt Bessie looked at me like I was dense. “Yes, Clio. @Donuts4Life lives in Oakville, so she’s going to visit after Christmas. I used the hashtags like you told me to, and she clicked on #Evergreen and found me. And so did thirty others, but so far we haven’t spoken. I will, though. I’ll introduce myself to them tomorrow, tell them a little bit about my artisan donuts and how much I love baking.”

  “That sounds… great, Aunt Bessie.” I tried to keep my laughter in check. “It is called social media, so introducing yourself is part of it, I guess.” They wouldn’t know what hit them. Aunt Bessie could win anyone over with her affable personality and I bet they’d order donuts just because she wooed them with her zest for life.

  We were still laughing about my techno-phobic aunt embracing Instagram when Amory clapped her h
ands and said, “Now, what’s the protocol here, is it too early for wine?”

  “It’s actually a little late,” Aunt Bessie winked, reaching for some glasses. “We’ve got mulled wine steeping away on the stove, or take your pick with something else. Just make yourselves right at home, we’re all friends here.”

  Amory poured everyone a glass of mulled wine, the scent of cloves, cinnamon and orange rind spicing the air, and I made a mental note to get the recipe. Surely I could throw a few ingredients into a vat of wine without ruining it?

  Just when everyone had settled down again, a car pulled into the driveway and we all turned to look. Cruz couldn’t have got to the lodge and back in that amount of time. Amory’s eyes narrowed, and I sensed a ploy afoot too. Cruz had always been good at big romantic gestures. A Christmas gift, perhaps? He’d been so keen to get back into the kitchen at Cedarwood, I don’t think he’d even ventured into town since he arrived, so he wouldn’t have had time to buy a gift, unless he’d organized it by phone…

  We peeked out of the window, Amory watching him intently as he opened the back door of the car and shuffled backwards with something in his arms.

  Realizing it was something important, and definitely not wine by the looks of it, I ushered Amory away. “Let him surprise you,” I said.

  While I was pushing Amory back into the dining room, Kai opened the door for Cruz.

  “All right, all right,” Amory said when I shoved her a little harder. “There’s no need to manhandle me.”

  “Oh, please,” I said, smiling. Mom and Aunt Bessie stopped what they were doing and waited for Cruz’s big entrance too. What was taking him so long? I was dying to see what Amory’s gift was.

  “Close your eyes,” Cruz called out from the doorway as we all hovered in the living room expectantly.

  Amory duly closed her eyes.

  He tiptoed in, and we collectively put a hand to our mouths to stop awws spilling out. In his hands Cruz held a little fluffball of a pup, with black and tan fur and the most beautiful big blue eyes.

  Putting a finger to his lips, Cruz sneaked in and placed the puppy onto Amory’s lap. She gasped, and opened her eyes. “Merry Christmas, Amory.”

  We froze, not sure if this was meant to be a private moment or not, so we just stopped moving and pretended to be invisible. Dropping to his knees (both knees, thank God; no chance of a proposal fiasco again) in front of Amory, he said, “This little rescue pup needed a home for Christmas, a for ever home, where he’s safe, and loved, and well-fed. I told the shelter we’d show him what real love was and he’d have a happy life with us.”

  “This little guy was going to spend Christmas alone?” Amory asked, her eyes glistening as she stroked his fur.

  Cruz nodded solemnly. “But now we can give him the Christmas of every puppy’s dream.”

  “He’s so beautiful!” she said, and for a split second or two her mask fell away and she looked really quite vulnerable. Her face softened and her eyes shone.

  “Amory, I know we both had different visions about starting a family, and about marriage, but we got through that hurdle by being open and honest, and if we can get through that we can get through anything, together. So when I spotted this little guy, I just felt like he was right for us. The same way I knew, as soon as I saw you, that day in Manhattan when we first met, that you were the one for me. It was like my soul recognized you, and I had that same feeling with this fluffball. And I hope you do too.”

  I cast my eyes to the floor, feeling like I was intruding, but my heart was beating fast for my friends. Their love was so strong, so evident in everything they did, that even huge dilemmas couldn’t force them apart. Cruz’s gift of a rescue pup was perfect.

  “I love him already,” she said, holding back tears. “And I felt the very same way about you, but of course, I couldn’t tell you that. I’m a born and bred New Yorker, we don’t share our feelings so easily.” She tried to joke about it, but it was clear Amory was letting down the defenses she’d built in the past. “I love you, Cruz, I really, really do, and I don’t care who knows it,” she said as she reached for his hand and then looked down at the new addition to their family.

  I exchanged a quick glance with Kai, who was trying to contain a smile too; Mom and Aunt Bessie were grinning behind their hands. It was a beautiful thing to witness, two people so in love.

  Then the puppy glanced up and licked Amory’s nose, provoking a giggle which he took as a sign to pee in her lap, lightening the mood instantly. “Oh,” she laughed. “We need to housetrain him.”

  The puppy jumped, his front paws landing on her chest, and licked her chin as if he was saying hello. She threw her head back and laughed. “OK, you’re forgiven.”

  Mom came back in with a wet hand towel so Amory could clean herself up, which she took gratefully and uselessly wiped at her jeans.

  “Do you want to borrow something of mine?” Aunt Bessie asked.

  I stemmed my own giggles, picturing Amory in one of Aunt Bessie’s sparkly ensembles. Amory laughed too. “That would be great, Bessie, if you don’t mind.”

  “Be right back,” she said, leaving the rest of us to coo over the puppy.

  He was a ball of energy, and jumped and rolled on Amory’s lap. She lifted him to her face and kissed him on the nose. “Oh, he’s adorable. Thank you, Cruz. He’s a little ray of sunshine.”

  “What are you going to call him?” Cruz asked, bending down to pat him.

  She gave Cruz a peck on the cheek. “I don’t know, I’ll have to think about it. Get to know him first.”

  As Amory went off to change, Aunt Bessie bustled to the kitchen. The scent of roasted meat and crispy potatoes had my mouth watering, despite the amount of food I’d already eaten.

  “Stir the gravy, will you, Clio?”

  “Sure.” She trusted me with the gravy? Yikes.

  The turkey came out, roasted golden, then the root vegetables, which were crisp and glistened with butter. Aunt Bessie parboiled some green beans, drizzled them with olive oil and mixed through some pomegranate seeds that resembled shiny rubies. My old childhood nemesis, Brussels sprouts, were crumbed and deep-fried, and served with a melted cheese dipping sauce. They were disguised so well I was eager to try one and see if I really was a grown-up now – didn’t you achieve the highest level of adulting when you could eat Brussels sprouts?

  Cruz wandered in. “Do you need a hand?”

  Aunt Bessie threw him a grateful look. “Can you carve the turkey?”

  He nodded and set to work.

  She dusted her hands on her apron, and wrinkled her brow. “What am I forgetting?”

  “The carrots?” I ventured, noticing that the neat julienned stems Kai had chopped were now swimming in a pan of garlic butter.

  “Yes!” she laughed. “Also I made bread and butter sauce this year. Now don’t turn your nose up at it, it goes very well with the richness of the turkey.”

  I held my hands up in surrender. “I’m not saying a word. I’m more than happy to eat a feast someone else cooked. And I’ll try all of it.”

  “Good girl.” She kissed my cheek. “Start taking these to the table and I’ll bring the serving spoons.”

  Once Amory had changed we all sat at the dining table, now laden with food and decorations, ready for our second feast of the day. With the puppy asleep in Amory’s lap I couldn’t help but smile as I saw how sweet they were together. I’d never thought Amory was a pet person, but here she was falling head over heels for a puppy.

  I poured everyone a glass of wine, and Mom and Aunt Bessie went to fetch more platters before joining us at the table.

  Jostling around in our seats, we turned when Aunt Bessie clinked her glass with a fork. “Now, I wanted to raise a toast before we start eating. Here’s to our first Christmas together in a long time.” She held her wineglass aloft, and blinked back sudden tears. “A big welcome to our guests,” she said, turning to look at each of my friends in turn, “and thank you for spending
the day with us. Let’s hope it becomes a new tradition.” She beamed so hard it almost broke my heart. I hadn’t really thought in all the years I’d been away that it would have just been Mom and Aunt Bessie sharing a turkey lunch with all the trimmings. Why hadn’t I come home more? Since being back I’d realized I was as much to blame as Mom for the radio silence. Still, I was here now, and things were changing – albeit at a snail’s pace.

  When Aunt Bessie sat down I was astonished when Mom lifted her glass, and cleared her throat to speak. I leaned forward so I wouldn’t miss a thing.

  With downcast eyes, she said, “Thank you all for looking after my daughter. I know you’ve been there for her in one way or another in the past few months. It helps…” Her voice petered off, and tears sprung in my eyes. “…It helps knowing she has support and friendships that will carry her through the good and bad.”

  Silence fell.

  I was so shocked I couldn’t think of a thing to say, but the smile on my face must have spoken volumes because Mom gave me a small nod and a wobbly smile of her own.

  Aunt Bessie broke the hush by saying, “Well, now we’ve got the toasting out of the way, let’s drink and be merry!” We all leaned forward and clinked glasses. I darted a quick glance at Kai, who was lost in thought, and I figured Mom’s words might have touched a chord with him too.

  The chatter rose as we feasted on every delicious morsel. Even the bread and butter sauce was a hit, mixing with the steaming-hot gravy, and perfect for dipping each mouthful into. Combined with the nutty, herbaceous stuffing, it was a meal made in heaven, and one I wished I had the skills to recreate. I was awed by people who could cook so many things at once and not burn it all. Sadly, I didn’t reach peak adult status because the sprouts, no matter how dressed up, still tasted like bitter greens to me, and in a way I was thankful – who wanted to be an adult anyway?

  The puppy chose that moment to steal a piece of gravy-covered turkey off Amory’s plate. It was too big for his little choppers, and somehow missed the napkin on her lap, but found her clothes. She slapped her head. “Outfit number three coming up! He’s a wardrobe menace!”