“Your jeans should be dry by now,” Aunt Bessie said. “You can change again after lunch.”
“Thank you.” Amory grinned. “I’ll throw these in the wash at the same time.”
Mom didn’t say much, but actually ate rather than picking at her food like she would usually do. She was so thin, it scared me, but just maybe this was a tipping point.
Empty plates sat in front of us all and no one moved. We were too full to do anything except sit with blank faces. Aunt Bessie was the only one still sprightly, and she ambled to the kitchen and returned with more mulled wine and a tray of peppermint chocolates.
“Thank you, gang, for making this one of the best Christmases we’ve had in a long time. I’m hoping your youth rubs off on me.”
We laughed, and sipped our wine, and my eyelids grew heavy from contentment.
“Have you all called your families?” Aunt Bessie asked into the satiated quiet. “They must miss you, being so far from home.”
Amory spoke up first. “I rang them this morning. My parents are enjoying their very first child-free Christmas! They’re traveling in India, and quite content to swap turkey for goat curry and not bother with the cleanup, or waiting on their grown-up children. Can’t say I blame them. I’d choose India too. We are a bit of a handful when we’re all together.”
“I’m sure they’re missing you too, though,” Aunt Bessie said. “But I’m glad they’re enjoying India. I’ve always wanted to go there. What about you, Cruz?”
Cruz filled them in on his phone call home – and the fact he’d had to speak to every extended family member, and some of the neighbors. And that they were excited about him and Amory visiting as soon as they could.
“And Kai? I suppose Christmas is over for another year in Australia?”
A blush crept up his cheeks, and I was about to save him by making some excuse when he said, “I’m all set to Skype them when I go back to the lodge this evening.”
Sitting beside each other, we locked gazes for a moment, and I was lost to him, and everything around me.
“Is it hot in here, or is it just me?” Amory made a show of fanning herself. I kicked her under the table but must have hit Cruz instead, who let out a yelp of surprise.
“Sorry,” I said. “Pass it on,” I motioned to Amory, and he grinned.
Under the table, Kai clasped my hand and held it firm against his jean-clad thigh. I couldn’t remember a better Christmas, being surrounded by friends and family, and even my mom, who was smiling at Amory’s joke. Things were looking up for the New Year, especially with all of these people here to stay… or at least most of them.
Chapter Thirty
Back at the lodge, Amory and Cruz made excuses and headed up to their suite with the puppy, who was once again asleep in her arms. My big-city, party-the-night-away friends were no match for a long festive lunch and a country walk in the fresh air. They were wiped out and bleary-eyed, all set to nap.
I flopped on the chaise in the front parlor, and Kai did the same. It had just gone six, and outside the sky shifted from blue to inky black.
“What’s the story with your mom, Clio? You’ve told me bit and pieces but I didn’t realize she’d be so… reserved. She’s very different from you.”
As usual with Kai, the words held no malice, just a greater need to understand. Today had felt like a dream, like life was on the right track. Mom had overcome her anxiety to join us, and even spoken up a fair bit. But I didn’t really want to burden Kai with the whole story when he had so much going on, so I kept it light, told him an edited version. Some secrets should stay secret, so while I told him about my upbringing, my father’s death, Mom’s pulling away, and finally, her mysterious connection to Cedarwood, and the fact no one would fess up to what exactly had happened here all those years ago, I kept some things back too, and sped through it like I was recounting someone else’s story.
“Wow,” he said.
I sighed. “I know.” Things were complicated, and there was no pretending that one Christmas lunch had solved everything. I hadn’t told him about the photographs I’d found or the significance of the maze Isla had discovered. “Mom’s always been that way. I used to think she was cold, sort of bitter about life, but now I can see it’s more than that. She’s fighting an internal battle every day just to be here. I wish I knew what to say or do that would pull her up.”
His brow knitted. “Watching her today made me think of my own mom, and how my silence is probably hurting her. I think you’re right. The longer I wait before talking to them, the worse it’s going to be. So I’m glad I messaged them after our chat.”
I sat up straighter. “I don’t think there’s ever a ‘right time’ with these things,” I said, thinking of my own predicament, and knowing it applied to Kai too.
“You’re doing the right thing with your mom,” Kai said, reaching over and smoothing a hand over mine.
“We’re getting there, slowly but surely.” I smiled up at him, appreciating the gesture. “Go call them, Kai. I’ll be here if you need me.”
He consulted his watch. “OK. Mind if I use your office?”
“Go for it.”
When he left, I went to the kitchen and brewed some herbal tea. My phone beeped with a text.
Merry Christmas, Clio! Hope Santa spoiled you… If it’s OK I’ll pop around tomorrow to discuss the New Year’s Eve party? My boss is thinking masquerade ball now, think there’s time? I’ll bring a bottle of wine. Love Timothy x
In all the craziness of Christmas I’d nearly forgotten about the New Year’s event we were planning. Like always, the thought of organizing an event sent a thrill through me, but so far we had been time poor with every party we’d held at the lodge and this would be no different. A masquerade ball would require a lot of prep, and we’d have to order decorations and pay for quick delivery. Still, then we’d have those props for future parties…
I fired off a reply:
Merry Christmas, Tim! Hope the kids had a ball! Tomorrow is perfect, we’ll have to move fast if the theme is masquerade but we can definitely do it… I have wine, so don’t bring a thing. See you soon,
Clio x
With the scent of lemongrass and ginger in the air, I sat cradling the steaming-hot cup of tea, and thought about what we’d need for the party, and what kind of menu would suit, what drinks, music? Cocktails, pink champagne, and hors d’oeuvres, feathery masks, jazz music? Or classical guitarists? A black and white masquerade ball! Everything in monochrome…? The lodge was the perfect venue for such an elaborate party. I just hoped we’d be able to pull it off.
Instead of worrying, I grabbed a notebook, its pages swollen already with to-do lists, and started scribbling my thoughts down. I thought a photo booth would be fun, the old-school type that shot a length of film out which guests could take home. Aunt Bessie could do donut towers… As the ideas came thick and fast I was tempted to fetch Amory and brainstorm, but reminded myself Christmas night probably wasn’t the ideal time to talk about work.
Without meaning to, I pricked my ears for the sound of Kai; he’d been gone twenty minutes, a good sign that they were really talking and not just making pleasantries. I smiled and got back to my planning, falling into deep concentration. Before long his footsteps echoed down the wooden floors, and I hastily jotted down an idea before I forgot it as he walked into the room.
He sat opposite me, and I pushed a cup of now lukewarm herbal tea across to him.
I waited for him to say something, but he didn’t move. “How did it go?” I asked softly.
The grandfather clock in the hall tick-tocked while he formulated a response. “As well as it could have in the circumstances, I guess.” Raking a hand through his hair, he pursed his lips and gazed past me. “They wanted to know if I was planning to head back to Australia soon.”
My belly clenched at the thought of him leaving the US for good. It was hard enough seeing him leave for other parts of the country. And it wouldn’t be long be
fore he left for San Francisco again – even that was too much to bear. He seemed to think of Cedarwood as a place of calm, somewhere he could get lost if he wanted to, find that solitude he craved. All he had to do was head up the mountain and he could clear his thoughts, and think without the daily grind of the big city. There was a part of me that just knew he belonged at Cedarwood, but it had to be his choice.
“Of course, they want to see you in person and make sure you’re really OK. If it was me, that’s what I’d want to do too…”
He gave me the ghost of a smile. “I’m not leaving America, Clio. Not yet.”
Selfishly, I was over the moon he wasn’t leaving the country – Australia was so far away. “Well, you’ve taken the first step, and I know it wasn’t easy.” I reached out and squeezed his hand. “Now you’ve spoken the first time, it will get easier going forward, trust me.”
Kai had to follow his own path. Our timing may not have been right – we were both dealing with messy fallouts from real life – but my world made more sense with Kai in it. Even if I only saw him once a year, it would be better than nothing. Maybe our paths would cross again in the future when he had worked things out, and was where he wanted to be…
“Thanks, Clio. For everything. Having someone to talk to, someone I could trust with all of this has made it so much easier.”
We clasped hands a little tighter. “I’m glad you trusted me.”
We stared into each other’s eyes as moonlight shone through the gauzy curtain, and for a moment everything was right with the world.
Chapter Thirty-One
In my office, I added a log to the fire and watched it until it caught alight. Boxing Day was always a mixed bag for me. While the fairy lights still flashed on the tree, the fun itself was over for another year. Still, this Christmas had been a good one.
While the lodge inhabitants slumbered, I worked. I checked various tourism websites we used that helped connect guests to accommodation, and was happy to see a few enquiries about the special offers we’d introduced, and one booking for March. I replied to the queries: did we offer guided walks? (Yes! Micah had climbed those mountains since we were kids, he knew them backwards.) Were there enough things to do to keep a tech-obsessed ten-year-old busy and away from his phone? (Yes! Plenty of indoor and outdoor activities, enough that screen time would be forgotten.) Did we cater for gluten intolerance? (Yes!) And lastly, could dance lessons be booked ahead of arrival so they didn’t miss out? (Sure!)
I felt a real thrill replying because obviously our marketing campaigns were working, judging by the sorts of questions we were being asked. With that done, I went about the lodge taking photos, ready to share them across our social media accounts, knowing that, for most Americans, today would be a quiet day, and a lot of people would be lazing at home scrolling through their phones.
Outside, I took photos of the sleds by the bank of the ice rink, catching snowflakes drifting down, and uploaded the best one to Instagram with the hashtags #WinterWonderland at #CedarwoodLodge. I enjoyed the chatty aspect of social media, and liked to see our pages growing, knowing it was all about the numbers – the more followers we had, the more people were aware of the lodge, which always gave me a little buzz.
I tucked my phone into my back pocket, and headed to the eastern side of the property. I debated with myself whether to hunt for the maze again. I could have asked Isla to show me, but it didn’t feel right. So instead I turned back to the lodge, leaving it hidden for one more day.
Micah and Isla were standing together in the front garden, Isla gesticulating wildly as she directed Micah toward a hedge. “What are you two up to? I would have expected you to still be asleep or even spending the day lolling around on the sofa?” I said as I came up next to Isla and watched Micah trimming the top of the hedge.
“Clio,” Isla said, snaking an arm around me and giving me a squeeze. “We’re so sorry we missed seeing your mom and Aunt Bessie yesterday. We just got so caught up with Micah’s family, and then we watched Christmas movies, and before we knew it, pretty much everyone was snoring on a couch somewhere.”
Seeing them work together in the snowy landscape, their laughing and teasing, turned my wedding-planner mode back on. For some reason I couldn’t help picturing their nuptials, and they weren’t even engaged. A spring wedding… Flowers blooming, a bright bouquet of yellow tulips, a simple white sheath dress for Isla, Micah wearing a casual, cream-colored linen suit. A violinist in the corner playing a sweet song as Isla walked down the aisle…
“Hey,” Micah said, pulling me into a tight hug and out of my reverie. “How was Christmas? Get everything you asked for…?” He raised an eyebrow suggestively and I gave him a sisterly shove.
“Yes, I did actually!” I said, faux-haughtily. “Yesterday was great, even Mom was there and, well, it went pretty well. She stayed the whole time, and get this – she’s even started baking with Aunt Bessie.”
Micah’s mouth fell open. “Annabelle is baking? And had Christmas lunch with all of you?”
“Right? Wonders will never cease.”
“Maybe she just needed time, Clio. Or needed you back,” he said more softly.
I nodded.
We chatted more about their Christmas, laughing about the bawdy songs they’d taught the talking elf and exclaiming over Micah’s family traditions, which basically involved watching every Christmas movie ever made.
As we were walking back toward the house, Kai walked out from the woods, his presence making me jelly-legged. Damn it.
“Hey, guys,” he called out, “need some help?”
They waved him over, and wished each other well.
It reminded me… “What are you guys doing here? The garden could wait another day…”
Isla shook her head. “Not really. We wanted the front to look perfect for guests for the New Year’s Eve party, so we figured we’d make a start. Besides, I had to do something, I spent all day yesterday on my butt eating.”
We laughed. It felt good to be outside, moving around, the lethargy of the day before vanishing.
“Can I tempt you in for coffee?”
“We’ll get this hedge sorted and join you,” Isla said.
“Great.” I wandered back into the lodge, Kai beside me. We kept sneaking looks at each other, and eventually giggled as it got the best of us.
“Nice to see you’re treating your body well again,” I joked.
He waggled his brows. “Didn’t want to let you down, after what you said.”
I blushed, remembering. “My mouth doesn’t always link with my brain.”
“That’s what I love about you,” he said.
Love? Just a figure of speech, Clio.
Chapter Thirty-Two
After coffee Kai went for a shower and I went to the office to finalize my plans; Timothy was due and I didn’t want to be caught unprepared. Masquerade balls were such fun to organize, but they were lots of work and we were already on the back foot time-wise.
I sat heavily, and tried to focus on the paperwork in front of me. There was a knock at the door and Timothy stuck his head in, surprising me, as I hadn’t heard his car in the driveway and wasn’t expecting him until later that afternoon.
“You’re early!” I said, getting up to greet him. He cut a fine figure with his tight jeans and fitted black-knit sweater, smooth skin and deep, intoxicating gaze, like he’d just stepped off the cover of a men’s fashion magazine.
Those deep-brown eyes of his bored straight into me, and for a moment I was a teenager again, belly flip-flopping, before I reined myself in. Being back in Evergreen sometimes brought out that gangly, bright-eyed girl, especially when Tim gave me the special smile he’d reserved only for me, once upon a time.
When he smiled a dimple appeared in his cheek. A memory rushed at me – I used to kiss that spot on his skin. “Yeah, sorry, I should have called. My boss has given me a checklist so long I don’t know if the party will even be possible in such a short amount of t
ime, so I figured we’d better meet earlier.” By the pitch in his voice, it was clear Timothy was nervous. I couldn’t remember ever seeing him anything other than assured. This party was important to him.
I gestured for him to sit down and said, “Well, early is better than late. Would you like some coffee? Or hot chocolate?”
“No, I’m OK. Before we get started, I wanted to give you this.” He reached into his bag and produced an exquisitely wrapped box.
“You shouldn’t have, Tim!” I blushed, feeling like a teenager all over again in his presence. I didn’t know why he had that hold over me. It was like I regressed to the old me – and I wasn’t sure it was a good thing.
“It’ll make you smile, that’s all.”
Unwrapping the present, I pulled out a cassette from the box and laughed. “Oh God, is this our ultimate mix tape? From way back when?” I flicked it over to read the artists and song names, scrawled in Tim’s block writing.
It read:
Clio’s hits of 97
Tubthumping
Barbie Girl
Truly Madly Deeply
Foolish Games
When I came to the fifth song, I burst out laughing, “‘Spice Up Your Life’! Oh my God, do you remember dancing around to the Spice Girls, and thinking they were just the bee’s knees?”
His eyes twinkled with memory. “I remember watching you dance and thinking you were the bee’s knees, if not a little out of tune…”
And just like that I was back in the past – Tim just like he was now, but lankier in his teenage years; I’d taken to wearing sneakers and shiny velour tracksuits, just like Sporty Spice. Reminiscence was a wonderful thing because the fifteen-year-old Clio had had her life all mapped out: she was going marry Tim, have a million babies and work in fashion… It hit me suddenly that none of that had happened. I’d grown up and that girl was a distant memory, just someone I used to know. Still, it was sweet remembering a time I’d felt truly loved by Tim, no matter how young we’d been. You never forgot your first love, and seeing the man Tim had become, I thought I’d chosen well when I was younger.
Winter at Cedarwood Lodge Page 29
