by Shirl Anders
]Chapter Twenty
Gabriella clutched her arms around herself, standing in the middle of Drummond's bedchamber. She was utterly mortified. Tears, scalded her cheeks as she moved her head from side to side in denial. His son-his son kept pounding in her thoughts just as the words, mistress ... tramp ... unworthy kept slamming through her with each distraught breath.
"They were right!" she cried, running to the armoire with no more thought than to escape as she grabbed her mink cloak. Not thinking of anything else in her emotional state except that she could not be Drummond's mistress, nor ever face his son again!
A long time later, while she sat shuddering in one of Drummond's coaches, on the road halfway to London, she wondered how she had accomplished so much. How had she managed to escape undetected from Drummond's manor? But, it was all a blur, the last hour or more. She had been so emotional, too emotional, but the pain of believing that she would not be allowed to spend her life loving Drummond, was akin to a mortal wound. It had unnerved her completely, made her hysterical and unthinking about anything but achieving her goal and that goal had been to escape.
So she had ordered a coach brought around saying that she wished to travel to the village and she had made certain that the hood of her mink wrap was pulled low to cover her tear-stained face. However, once at the village, she had imperiously ordered the driver to take her onto London. What could the driver do? He had to obey a lady of the realm. A guest of Drummond's.
Lord Kittridge's whore — Gabriella sniffled, wondering how she could have any tears left, then just as easily, she broke down crying again. When next she woke, having cried herself into literal exhaustion, it was near dark and the driver told her they were close to London, and then he asked where she wished to go.
"Take me to Lyndfall House on Mayfair," Gabriella told the driver, then she settled back on the carriage seat clutching her mink cloak around her. She could not seem to stop shivering. What was she doing?
Gabriella leaned forward again and tapped the roof of the coach, until the driver opened the small trap top. "I have changed my mind driver, please take me to, um – Lord Kittridge's residence here in London." She paused, "Y-Yes– that is where I will go."
Gabriella sat back after the driver closed the door, and she exclaimed, "Oh, what am I doing?" She clutched her hands over her cheeks and shook her head. She could not go to Lyndfall House, Reginald could be there and she could not go to Drummond's because it was not proper and what if some of his family resided there. That thought horrified her as she imagined herself saying, "Oh yes, you must allow me to stay, I am simply Lord Kittridge's mistress and he would wish it."
But, where could she go, Gabriella wondered miserably and now that she was calmer, after being so emotionally hysterical for most of the day, she wondered if she really should have left Drummond in the first place?
"That is just your heart speaking," she exclaimed, but of course it was, because she loved him with all her heart. Perhaps she should try a hotel? Except it would be truly unspeakable for a lady alone and unchaperoned to do such a thing. Only that meant that she had no place at all to go, for it was too dangerous for a woman alone to try to return to Drummond's estate at night. Oh why had she not stopped and thought! Why had she left Drummond at all?
Gabriella was so near to tears again that she had to mentally reproof herself. Tears and overly panicked emotions had gotten her into this mess to begin with. Being in love was just so emotional! Nay, having the only son of the man you love catch you ‘en flagrant delicto ' was-was. Oh, what Samuel must have seen-!
"No," Gabriella exclaimed. "I will not proceed there again. I cannot bear it!" With determination, Gabriella brought herself around to her predicament and with shaky resolve she tapped the roof of the coach and said, "The Carlton Hotel, driver, take me to the Carlton Hotel."
Gabriella sat back reasoning that her reputation was long past existence, so it no longer mattered where or with whom she resided and tomorrow she decided, she would send a messenger to Drummond. Drummond would then help her, even if she could no longer stay with him, she was certain that he would. Drummond was the only person who truly would help her if only she had realized this earlier.
It really was not as terrible as she envisioned, to acquire a room at the Carlton. She simply had Drummond's driver procure it for her. He had been most kind, even concerned, saying that there was no way on God's green earth he was leaving her and he would be ready with the carriage in the morning to take her wherever she wished to go. His name was Bebington and he did gently suggest that she ought to return to Lord Kittridge's estate in the morning, where he proclaimed she would be much safer.
Bebington escorted her to her room, then he asked that she promise not to go anywhere without him. Gabriella did this faithfully before shutting the door to the room and locking it just as Bebington had shown her how to do. Once inside the room, Gabriella turned to explore because she had never been in a hotel room before. The fact was in twenty-five years of marriage, she had never been to anyplace but the townhouse in London on occasion, very few occasions, and the country estate at Lyndfall.
Gabriella realized immediately that hotel rooms were very lonely places and she found herself yearning for Drummond's warmth, his kisses and his lovemaking. She plopped onto the bed wondering what she could do, wondering how she could ever leave Drummond permanently or perhaps she might simply acquire a thicker skin. She certainly was much too sensitive. Or perhaps, Gabriella considered, she simply must develop a thicker skin concerning certain things ... such as an annulment!
If she truly wished to be with Drummond that was the only way it was going to happen legally. And being barren, she did have the perfect grounds for annulment if only Reginald would agree. Gabriella decided that she must think this through very carefully and calmly. She must think this through until she could speak to Drummond about it. Yes, that was it. She would speak to Drummond about it. Of course it would not solve the problem with Samuel, but she thought perhaps she could face Samuel better if she were sometime in the future going to be Drummond's wife. That is of course, if Drummond wished her to be his wife?
