by M. N. Forgy
* * *
“Zane. No!” Zane’s father yells from the other side of the beach, blood splattered across his face as if he's run through the beach slaying enemies left and right. Zane ignores him and pulls the trigger with both hands, his arms dance as the gun fires in his hands. Zane roars like a feral beast, and my eyes widen from the scene before me. Zane is not just any kid, he’s his own person. Bender’s arms fly out on each side of him, and he drops to the ground screaming; holding his head. Blood drips between his fingers and down his arms like slick oil.
Zane’s shoulders rise and fall as he breathes heavy, the gun still in his hands and pointed at Bender. He doesn’t seem fazed. Not that there was a drive-by, and not that he just shot a man! The vessel popping from his temple slowly subsides as he stares down at the man he gunned down. The look on his face one I’ve never seen before.
* * *
"Zane!" I scurry to my feet and run to him. My knees wobble, and I want so desperately to hide, but I can’t. I’m terrified for Zane. He’s younger than me, but obviously not in his eyes.
He turns, his eyes softening as he sees me.
“Zane!” I call his name again, fear cracking my voice.
He runs to me, and I to him. Until we fall into each other, both of us breathing hard. His hands grip my elbows, mine on his as we stare at each other. His green eyes dancing with shadows and excitement.
* * *
Blood pours trickles down his arm onto my fingers and my mouth parts. He’s hurt!
I wiggle my fingers, hypnotized by the sight of blood on my own skin.
* * *
“Oh my God, you’re bleeding!” He’s been shot. Zane seems unfazed as his eyes fall down the length of his arm until the sight of dark blood stains his own fingertips. Is that his or did that come from—? Oh my God, I’ve been shot too! Same arm as Zane’s, and same spot. Seeing it now, I feel it. It burns like lava, and I want to cry even harder. I bite my lip trying to stay strong. Zane isn’t crying, I need to get it together.
* * *
His eyes flick to mine, his grip tightening.
“I’ll never let anyone hurt you again,” he promises me. His voice holding a truth to it that I’ve never heard before. He seems so grown up to me all of a sudden, like one of the men at the motorcycle club.
* * *
“Dani, the kids are hurt!” My mother’s voice echoes around me, but Zane and I never break eye contact. We don’t need anyone, we have each other.
“My mother is a doctor, she’ll know what to do,” I whisper to Zane, however, he seems more concerned with my wound than his own. Something about us holding onto one another, and bleeding onto each other bonds us. This hostile moment turning into something memorable.
His green eyes flecked with danger bored into my own, and I can’t look away. The tide suddenly washes up and around Zane and me on the beach, the warm water soaking our lower half. It takes the red-stained sand beneath us and takes it out to sea, mixing a little bit of both us into the world.
The sound of sirens just up the road catch everyone’s attention. We grew up with the motto of “Don’t talk to the cops” beat into our heads. So the idea the cops are coming doesn’t make us feel at ease.
Zane’s mother rushes over to us, her familiar green eyes worried as she spots the blood on us both.
“Oh my God!” she mutters, pulling Zane’s arm up, and then my own.
Zane’s sister Delilah cries feet away, and Piper cusses loudly trying to get past her dad, Lip, to get to us. She’s worried, and mad nobody will let her to us.
But we’re okay, we have each other. Don’t they see?
“Bull is shot!” Shadow informs the group.
“I got them, go to him!” my mom encourages Dani. Dani is standing within seconds, running to her dad and husband.
“We are going to get you cleaned up, okay?” my mom says slowly, looking at me and Zane.
Getting cleaned up is the last thing on my mind though.
Who were the men so angry they wanted to prove a point and hurt women and children? Why me?
* * *
That’s stupid, I know why. This is our reality, our sin. Living with sinners, no matter how innocent you may be you will pay the price for laughing with thy neighbor at supper.
* * *
Just as the ambulance shows up, they separate me and Zane to put us on life boards. Zane freaks out to the point they have to restrain him, making himself bleed out more.
“Zane it’s okay!” I yell, trying to get him to calm down.
“She’s right there, son!” Shadow holds his son’s arms down as they strap Zane down like an animal. An EMT sticks a needle in Zane’s thigh and Zane tries to head-butt him.
Laying on my back, an EMT cleans my wound and asks me questions I won’t answer. I can barely feel it though as I glance over at Zane who is staring right at me strangely calm now.
“You okay?” I mouth.
His lips slowly curve into a malicious smile. His arms and legs bound, bleeding from his arm dripping everywhere, and he’s actually smiling!
“Why are you smiling?” I whisper to him. Why now out of everything we’ve been through, this is his moment of glory? This is what makes him happy?
“Lust like a saint, trust like a sinner,” he rasps, his eyes looking heavy.
My face pales.
That very line is one our parents have preached to us time and time again growing up, and for the first time ever. One of us kids finally got it.
Of course it was Zane.
* * *
Zane
* * *
Sitting in my hospital bed watching the popsicle meltdown my knuckles I listen to my mom and Addie's mom outside my room. This stupid gown covered in little tigers is annoying me, it’s itchy and does nothing to cover my bare ass. I want to see my grandpa, I want to know he’s okay.
When I saw Bender about to shoot my grandpa, something came over me. It was like I blacked out and couldn’t breathe until I did something about it. Until I sought revenge.
* * *
“That was too close, Dani. This is exactly what I feared would happen to my daughter, and it has. Addie is older now and she’s not going to just forget what happened!” Doc says heatedly, Addie’s mother. She is a doctor and helps the club when one of the men are hurt. However, she worries a lot about Addie’s safety. Always putting Addie before the club and Bobby. Dad says she’s a pain in the ass.
* * *
“I understand Doc, seeing Zane shoot that guy today. I think it’s best if I keep him away from the club for a while as well.” My mom sighs. My eyes shoot to the door. There is no way she is keeping me from my father’s club. My grandfather and my dad run it, and I will one day too. Even if it means breaking her heart.
* * *
“You can’t do that Dani,” my dad’s dominant voice cuts in, and relief floods my limbs. If anyone understands what I need, it’s him. He doesn’t look at me like I’m a child, and doesn’t give that sad look when I do something that would concern a normal parent.
No, he respects me.
"What else am I supposed to do, Shadow, my dad, your president is in a fucking wheelchair right now!"
"I'm telling you, Dani, if you try and cut out what Zane is born to do. You will have a monster on your hands,” Dad tries to explain to my mother how I'm not like other kids without telling her she gave birth to a monster. It’s comical really. He should just tell her. She loves him and his demons, surely she will still love me. Right?
Lying back on my bed, it occurs to me that the monster my parents keep checking for under Delilah’s bed, is actually in the room next to her all these years.
Me. I am my sister’s bedtime monster, the one they talk about in the news, and my mother tries to keep me from.
* * *
“Sir, can we have a moment to discuss today’s events?” a deep voice asks, it sounds like a cop. He must be talking to my dad.
Hairs on the back o
f my neck stand. Cops don’t like us. We are trouble in their eyes, and whether or not we had anything to do with the shit that happens in this city, the cops are always pointing at the club for a way out to the public. That what Dad says anyway.
“I told you. We don’t know anything,” Dad snaps hatefully. I can see it in my head. My dad’s hard face and turned back toward the cop.
“Shadow!” my mother hisses.
“So you’re saying you’ve never seen the man that we have in custody?” the cop continues.
Silence thickens, and I know better than anyone that my dad won’t say a word to anyone. He doesn’t believe the cops will deliver justice like the club can. The cops will more than likely tell the community it was a war between two clubs and nobody is speaking. That is it.
* * *
“You okay?” Addie’s sweet voice breaks me from eavesdropping. She stands in the adjoining bathroom between our rooms looking rough. She has a pink bandage wrapping around her arm, and her cheeks are swollen from crying so hard. She’s older than me but is so much more naïve. Her mother has sheltered her to the point of stunting her growth if you ask me. I sit up excited to see her. I didn’t want to leave her side, afraid that something would happen to her.
"Yeah, I’m fine, you?" To be honest, I can't even feel the flesh ripped from my arm. All I can think about is how the trigger felt against the pad of my finger when I pulled it. Seeing the surprise in Bender’s eyes. I ate it up like a hungry wolf. Kind of like that dog on the street this morning. It just conveys that I was the monster I knew I always was.
* * *
She doesn’t respond as she sits on an empty bed next to me. Her blonde hair is braided down her back now, probably from her mom pampering her, and she’s wearing a hospital gown with blue polka dots that is three sizes too big.
"Were you scared at all, Zane?" She doesn't make eye contact, she just stares at her blood-stained fingers. The tone in her voice drawn and soft. I want to tell her yes because I feel that's what I'm supposed to say, but the idea that the very man that tried to kill us, and my grandpa is in this hospital- alive, makes me itchy to go find him and stab him until he dies. Even I know that no girl wants to hear that. It’s not romantic, but neither am I. Surely she knows that about me.
"No. I'm not scared of anything," I tell her matter of fact.
She nods, sucking in her bottom lip before a small tear slides down her cheek. It makes me feel… sad seeing her upset. She was expecting me to feel something, to be ashamed or scared but I’m not, and that scares her.
That’s when I knew that the only joy I would endure, would be in the dark. Normal people have no idea how majestic the darkness can be as they fear the unknown. I like the challenge of what lurks in the shadows.
1
Addie
Six Years Later
Zane 17 – Addie 23
Sitting in a booth with Piper, Delilah, and Zane we scour the menu for something to eat. Why Piper picked Hooters, I’ll never know. The TVs are loud from the games playing, and the smell of burgers and cheap perfume linger heavily in the air. Still, I’m starving and will eat just about anything, anywhere, right now. It’s not that I think ill of the girls working here, it just makes me question my own body when I’m at places like this. They have tight hips, a perfect ass, and don’t get me started on their hair. How is it that long and shiny? Is it fake?
Ugh, I hate feeling sorry for myself. It just makes me eat more.
However, it was Piper’s turn to pick where we ate so what choice do we have? Us brats, that’s what the parents called us growing up, so that what we call ourselves, always try to get together once a week. With us getting older we get busy in our own affairs, but we don’t want to be out of each other's lives completely, so that is why we make it a must to meet up. Hell, we grew up together and been through some shit with our parents in a biker club, and we need to stick together.
* * *
“I think I’ll get some cheese fries.” I bite my nail in thought, but a burger sounds really good too. Setting my menu down my eyes connect with Zane’s. His hostile green irises locking me in place. Things have been different between Zane and me ever since the shooting those years ago. We're not normal around each other. I know he's six years younger than me, but I can't help but feel some kind of pull toward him. Maybe it's because he saved my life, maybe it's because a bullet sliced through us both mixing our blood into one. Like fate has it out for us or something. Who knows, maybe it’s this darkness that surrounds him, like a vast of the unknown you can’t help but be intrigued that draws me toward him.
Growing up, kids whispered about Zane, how he didn’t talk much and was sure to be the kid that would snap and start a mass shooting at the school any minute, and that scared a lot of people.
Not me. If anything, I was the butterfly brought to the flame by temptation, wanting to risk my life to see what made the forbidden fire burn so bright. Zane is different, and I want to know why and how.
My mother wanted me to stay away from the club after the drive-by, but I couldn’t. I went to every function I knew Zane would be at.
“Fuck that, I’m getting hot wings! Lots of wings!” Piper cackles, slapping her menu down. Ripping my gaze from Zane’s I mask a smile toward her. She’s such a free spirit, I admire her for it. I doubt she gives a shit about the half-naked girls walking around. In fact, I think she even worked at a Hooters before.
* * *
“Addie, order us some beer or something,” Delilah scoffs, twisting her hat backward. She is such a tomboy and always up for a good time. We always knew she would be the wild child of the brats. Younger, but definitely in more trouble. She’s not dark minded like Shadow, but something in her is broken. I’m just not sure what.
“D,” Zane warns, his tone deep and gravelly. He’s always chasing after his sister trying to keep her on the right track. If you ask me, he’s chasing a ghost. She does what she wants. I love it about her. She’s unpredictable.
Delilah gives Zane an irritated look, her green eyes growing bored of him constantly parenting her.
“I’m going for a smoke.” I’d lecture her like my mother does about smoking, but she shoves the menu away from and stomps off before I can say anything.
“I’ll go with her.” Piper rolls her eyes and scurries out of the booth. Her ripped up shorts showing the cheeks of her ass as she climbs out. I’m surprised Zane hasn’t gotten on to her for wearing them so short. He’s protective of us all. Even if he can be an ass about it, I know he still cares underneath it all.
* * *
Zane sits back in his seat and a warmth runs over my skin knowing we’re alone. Nibbling my bottom lip, I risk a glance at him. Our eyes lock and I can’t help but sigh deeply. He’s so masculine, so mature. He already has tattoos, and I find them so stunning. I want to stare at them and really see what they are, but it makes me hot and I begin to sweat nervously he will catch me.
Resting my hand on the table, I let whatever this feeling is I have for Zane rush over me like a sunburn. He sits forward, his dark hair falling into his eyes. His hands resting not even an inch from mine you can practically feel the magnetism between our bodies. He extends his finger and brushes my knuckle in the softest way possible. The simple touch zaps me to parts unknown. He smirks, knowing he’s affecting me. This is wrong on so many levels. Bobby and Shadow have preached to us brats how we are not to lay with one another. That we are family, yet here I am barely able to contain my heart rate at the thought of me and Zane being more than friends. He's been with girls, I’ve heard them talk around town about how amazing he is in bed. I haven’t gone that far with a guy though. Still, my mind wonders what it would be like with Zane.
I open my mouth to ask him what we’re doing, what’s going on between us but then a waitress shows up and Zane and I split like The Red Sea.
All the little hairs on the back of neck lay back to normal, and I feel cold.
* * *
“You g
uys ready?” The waitress beams, looking right at Zane. Her dark hair is pulled up into a messy bun, and her attire leaves little to the imagination. She looks older than Zane, maybe twenty.
Zane smiles and sits back, throwing his arm across the back of the booth like he’s a king.
“Your name tag just says Hooters,” he points out, not answering her question.
She looks down at her left tit where her name tag hangs sideways, and her cheeks redden.
"Nobody believes my real name." She rests her hand on her orange-clad hip. Her tan stockings not fooling anyone that her skin is flawless.
Zane sits forward, his leather jacket claiming him in an ominous tone. He wants to wear the leather cut of his father’s club one day, until then he wears that leather jacket as if it were the club’s.
“Maybe I’ll believe you.” He flirts, and my stomach twists. Gross. He’s just like the guys at the motorcycle club. Always fishing for a woman by his side. They don’t know the meaning of a relationship. I kind of hope his dick falls off.
“Baby.” The girl puckers her lips. “My name is Baby.”
My face scrunches, who names their kid Baby? She giggles and I’ve decided I’m done with conversation.
