by M. N. Forgy
Pulling my gun from my waistband, I hold it above Thad’s head. So angry my hand shakes, my teeth pinched tight to near cracking. He whimpers, his khakis dampening between his legs.
“Not such a predator right now, are we?” Hunching down I get in his line of sight, pressing the barrel of my gun into his temple. “You tried to hide the light from me. You tried to snuff out the sunshine I so desperately need.” I grab him by his hair, arching his neck to look me in the eyes.
“Don’t you see. When she’s not happy, I’m not happy!” I yell in his face.
“Your people are going to pay for this,” he blubbers out, gaining a laugh from me.
“So tough for a man about to die.” I shove his head away from me and rub at my chin in thought. “Here I am thinking… thinking that I’m not worthy. Not normal, and don’t deserve a life of simple pleasures as owning a woman’s heart, and then I run into you. The lowest of the low, a scum back piece of shit who feeds off women. Hurts them, preys on them.” My hand begins to shake again, my teeth clenched. This fucker makes me so hostile.
“That’s enough, Zane!” My dad’s voice booms from behind me, but I don’t let up. “Don’t do it. You’re too close to this.”
“He doesn’t deserve her,” I murmur to a sobbing Thad. “Nobody does.” I don’t take my eyes off him and stand up. I’m cracking, losing my fucking mind.
“Son.” Desperation in my dad’s voice almost has me step away. Almost. My arm stretched out, I pull the trigger with little to no effort. The gunshot echoes throughout the room, and the smell of gunpowder and blood dance around me like an old gypsy casting a spell. My hand continues to shake, my nostrils flaring. Killing him did nothing for me. Why? I’m not calm, if anything I’m angrier.
I pull the trigger again, and again. Nothing. There is no relief. The voices in my head are getting louder, my chest swelling with frustration.
Yelling out with rage, I pull the trigger until hands wrap around me and pull me away from the mutilated body.
I toss the gun onto the floor and run my hands through my hair. My knees clash onto the floor, and I bend my head down into my lap.
“What is happening?” I seethe. Killing is my only escape, it lets the darkness breathe, but right now it’s just hibernating in my soul, overtaking my every thought. No light can seep through the cracks and give me a glimpse of clarity.
“What the fuck?” Rad whispers.
“Son, breathe.” My dad’s voice doesn’t do anything to soothe me, his hand now rubbing down my shoulder feeling hot and uncomfortable. Killing is my remedy for the voices, for confliction of the reaper casting its toxic ideas into my head. Those ideas are so loud and unclear that I feel more lost than ever. Thad broke me. He touched my angel, and now killing him isn’t enough to calm the beast within me.
“Why the fuck are we at Addie’s school?” Bobby questions hatefully. It dawns on me that Rad and Saint brought my father and Bobby along with them.
“I don’t know, he just called us,” Rad informs.
Eyes on the ground, body still shaking, I force myself to give him the details.
“Addie was in trouble. I protected her.”
“What the fuck you mean she was in trouble? Why are you protecting her?”
I don’t reply. I can’t.
* * *
“Easy Bobby!” my dad defends, getting in between me and Bobby.
“You going to tell me what’s going on here?”
The tone in his voice pisses me off. I stand, eyes watery and narrowed in on him. He’s bulked out like he wants to fight, his shoulders raised and chest puffed out. His blonde hair in his face, and jaw tight. He doesn’t want to do this right now, not when I’m this out of control. I’ll regret what I do to him.
“Where is Addie now?” my dad asks. He looks just like me, but older. His green eyes calm, and temper collected. How does he do it? How did he beat the demons?
“I ordered her to go back to her place.”
“You ordered her?” Bobby squints his eyes at me, tilting his head.
“This is the principal, he’s been hurting the teachers here and Addie tried to get him fired. He caught on and tried to hurt her,” I explain everything to him.
Bobby tries to come at me, and Rad and Saint block him. I lift my chin, ready to take a hit from him if it means I can be with Addie.
Dad places his hand on my chest. “Go be with her. We will take care of this,” Dad informs. I shake my head.
“No, I promised her I would take care of it. I will get rid—”
“Goddamn it, Zane. Just fucking go!” Dad loses his temper, a glimpse of his own beast shining in his eyes. One I’m very familiar with.
Sliding my tongue along my bottom lip, the idea of being with Addie when I’m so conflicted and out of control scares me. However, it’s the only place I want to be right now. My sun. I need her light right now.
Turning on my heel, I stomp out of the classroom.
“Take my bike,” Dad hollers down the hallway. Brows furrowed, hands barreled, I head outside all I can think about is Addie; my obsession. Wait, no. Chasing after someone is a boy’s game. Addie has always been mine, we’ve just been playing a child’s game. Until now.
Tonight. I’m taking what has always been mine.
7
Addie
Sitting on the couch, I don’t know what I’m more afraid of, what Zane is doing with Thad right now, or if a Lost Wolf might show up here. I have nothing to protect myself. All the times my dad tried to make me conceal a gun in my apartment and I reassured him I’d never need it. I need it now.
Turning on the TV, I turn it right back off. I’m anxious, and scared. When will Zane be here?
Something clatters outside, and I stand. My chest is on fire from my shallow breathing, as if me taking a slow breath will make a predator unaware of me being here. A cat meows and the clattering of a trash can sounds once again. I exhale a breath and slouch my shoulders.
“Calm the hell down,” I tell myself. I’m so scared I’m over analyzing everything. Shaking my hands out, I walk in a circle. Practicing deep breaths.
“Relax. I can do this,” I tell myself again. My eyes fall to my radio, and I stretch my neck.
“Music, how about some music?” I talk to myself. Turning on the radio next to my TV, Juice WRLD “Lucid Dreams” starts singing. Closing my eyes, I start to sing with it. Slowly becoming less and less tense.
A knock pounds on my front door, and I freeze. Do I hide? Ask who is there?
“Addie it’s me.” Zane’s voice is strained like he’s hurt. My feet are already moving before I decided it’s safe to. I unlock the new bolts the club put on, more than enough to keep someone out.
Opening the door, Zane has one hand desperately pressed against the frame, his shoulders rising and falling like he’s been running. He’s out of breath and sweating. He looks sickly almost.
“Zane?” I murmur. My hand reaches out to touch him, but I rethink it and pull it back. His head slowly rises, and bright green eyes hypnotize me. The light from the porch casting just enough illumination for me to see the blood all over his clothes.
Gasping from the sight before me, I cover my mouth with my own blood-stained hands.
“What happened?” I ask behind my fingers.
“I need you. I need—” he stutters. My brows furrow, my hand reaching out for him once again.
“Zane you’re scaring me.” I’ve never seen him unraveling like this before. Sweat drips from his forehead onto his eyelashes, his lips swollen and parted.
“Just… I need you, Addie. I can’t think I just need…” His words come out in spurts, his breathing labored. The desperation in his voice tearing me apart.
“What about the club?” my voice a near whisper.
He shakes his head. “Just you,” he breathes.
Grabbing his shoulders, I pull him inside and before I know what I’ve done, he has me against the wall, his hard body in between my legs. Zan
e kicks the front door shut so hard pictures fall from the wall and crash amongst the floor.
His lips hover over mine, and my heart beats at the pace of a coke addict. I want to ask him what this means, but the hungry look in his eyes has me pressing my lips against his. I know what this means, we are finally giving in to what our bodies have been fighting for years.
His hands caress my curves claiming every inch of skin I have to offer, growling into my mouth as he kisses my breath away. Wrapping his hands around me like a security blanket, he pulls us away from the wall and turns us. Lowering us to the fur rug laying on the floor in front of the couch. Now on our knees, I tug at his leather cut, and he pulls my jacket down my arms in a quick manner. His lips caressing the crook of my neck, his hot breath making me sweat. Closing my eyes, I breathe him in through my parted lips. Damn, he feels good. My body trembles with desire, my nipples budding from temptation. My clit throbs with longing, wanting him to touch me so badly.
With frantic fingers, I unbutton his jeans, fisting my dress, he rips it, frays of string and cotton shredding all around us onto the carpet.
“Yes, give it to me!” Zane growls before nipping at the swell of my breast in my pink silk cup. The sting biting all the way to my pussy and making me as wet as a lake.
Hands wrap around his neck, a moan wracking my body as he lays me down on the floor.
My feet press against the hem of his jeans, pushing them down his legs. He then kicks his boots off and shimmies them all the way off his body.
My hands pull at his T-shirt, his eyes roaming my body as he fully unclothes me of my rags.
Dipping his head, kisses tickle down my stomach, and my fingers run through his hair. Licking my lips, I pant, I want him so bad. Years of eyeing him, wanting him, all unleashing tonight.
Pushing my knees apart, I see his length for the very first time. My nostrils flare as I stare at the hardness before me. It’s veiny, and arches just the slightest at the tip. He pumps himself with one strong hand, his eyes watching my reaction. If I wasn’t so desperately horny, I could watch him thrust himself into his palm until he came.
“This what you want?” he breathes huskily. I nod, opening my legs wider.
Sliding my hands down my breast, over my navel and into each side of my panties, I slowly, very slowly pull them down to reveal my pink, wet pussy.
“This what you want?” My voice is just as lustful.
The heat of his eyes on my wetness has me practically coming on the spot.
“Fuck, I was right. I don’t deserve you, Sunny.”
“Fuck me, Zane.” My statement comes out in a rush of hot air and desperation.
A slight smirk fits his face, and he presses the tip in between my swollen lips. Just as I’m expecting the fullness of his cock to take over, he stalls, and my eyes snap open.
“You’re not a virgin, are you?” Creases wrinkle his forehead with worry.
“No,” I whisper, and his face pains. He wished he was my first. Well, I wish I was his first too, but life had us go through a few bad apples before granting us the forbidden fruit.
“But, it’s my first time with someone I care about,” I explain, reaching up touching his face.
My statement seems to ease the hard look on his face some, but I can tell he expected me to wait for him all these years. What can I say, I moved to Texas with a broken heart, and mending it with only a bottle of Jack, I ended up in the bathroom with a cowboy. He was good-looking, but the sex was sloppy. In my head, all I thought about was Zane. I cried for Zane a lot. I hated myself for not being able to move on.
Shoving his cock inside of me vindictively, my back arches as he pushes into me. I’m stretched deliciously and filled to the brink. I’m so wet it doesn’t even hurt. Thrusting inside of me, I clench my eyes shut and curl my toes into the floor. He withdraws to the tip before driving back into me. The most intense feeling I have ever experienced rushes through my body like a hive of bees. My nails dig into his back, and I moan louder than I ever have as my body arches for more.
“Whoever it was, never existed. Only we exist. Only I exist!” He pounds his demand into me, and I nod in agreement. It’s always been him. When will he see that?
His ass clenches, his knees moving the rug back and forth as he slides his cock in and out of me. Pleasure dancing inside of me too much to contain, I slap my palms against each hard ass cheek and take charge of the pace. I want more, and I want it now. The heels of my feet on his lower back, I drive him against my clit harder and harder.
“Goddamn, girl.” He groans into the crook of my neck before nipping my collarbone.
I don’t respond, my mouth is too dry from panting, and my heart feels like it’s going to explode as I’m about to release years of want onto the man of my dreams… or nightmares.
He pounds his fist into the floor and rolls us so I am on top of him now. My breasts fall from my bra, and Zane grabs each one for friction as I ride him. My knees burn from the rug, but I don’t stop, the tingles inside of me numb feeling any pain. My nails in Zane’s chest, he closes his eyes, his body becoming rock hard as I pump up and down onto him. He’s coming, and with the little warmth that fills me, it’s enough to throw me off the cliff of ecstasy along with him. Free falling into the unknown, I take it willfully. My eyes clench shut, my nails drawing blood, I moan and rock myself back and forth until I milk Zane of everything he’s owed me.
Huffing, sweaty, and unable to move a limb, I fall over onto the rug next to Zane. We don’t say anything as we stare up at the ceiling.
Moments pass, and as I come back down to earth, I notice Zane is more like himself now. When he showed up, he was distraught and out of control. He couldn’t even speak to me.
“Something happened tonight, Zane, you were… you were upset when you showed up.” My brows furrow and a chill races over my naked body. Covering myself with my hands, I risk a glance in his direction.
He licks his lips, wrinkles forming around his hard shamrock eyes.
“I’m different, Addie.”
I sigh. “I wish you would stop saying that.” He’s said this same line to me since we were kids. The excuse is making me angry.
“I am, I—”
“Stop with that excuse, Zane!” The words fall from my mouth before I can catch them.
“I like killing!” His face turns red, and my mouth zips shut. Our childhood strings to mind and everything starts to fall into place. How he was quiet, but violence made him speak up. How he would get angry and disappear only to come back more happy than he had been in days. “It’s the only thing that calms me and drowns the voices in my head to the point I can think clearly. I only enjoy it because it’s the only way I live, but tonight when I took Thad out… it didn’t work, Addie. I was so fucking mad, I wanted to hurt everyone that was around me. I was losing control of the little bit of myself that I had learned to tame over the years.” He slides his index finger over the scar on my arm, the one the bullet grazed the day of the shooting.
Tears fill my eyes thinking about how he has to hurt others just to feel an ounce of normalcy.
“Until tonight,” he whispers. He turns his head my way, and a lone tear falls down my cheek.
“I need you. You pushed the voices in my head to the side. It was just you and me tonight.” Our eyes lock, our souls and bodies bare of any secrets. “I think maybe, I just needed you this whole time.”
Holy shit, now that I think about it, the day of the shooting was the day Zane really started acting weird. Things between us were different, and he thought it was due to the man he shot, but in reality, it was the day God tried to give me to him. I am his salvation.
I hiccup, the thought that I am his answer. A savor is a lot of pressure. My heart is the remedy to the murderer, the man with a broken soul. Can I take on that responsibility?
“Say something,” he coaxes. What can I say? Do I agree to lay in his bed with him when the moment his demons rattle his cage?
Clear
ing my throat, I sit up on one elbow and look Zane in the eyes.
“Would you ever hurt me?”
“No,” he replies instantly.
“Our family?”
“No.” Again, it’s a no-brainer.
“Will you stop, doing, hurting other people if I want to be with you?”
Silence falls between us, and I begin to panic. If he says no, I don’t think it’s something we will be able to recover from.
“If I get you, I’ll do anything.” He turns his head, his face more serious than ever. Reaching for me, he seals the deal with a long passionate kiss. In this moment, I accept the darkness and broken soul of Zane. Rolling us, he’s on top of me and pressing between my legs. His lips kissing me, and hands claiming my blushed skin. He makes love to me on the floor of my apartment like I’m the last woman on earth. As if it were our last night on earth.
It was a night I’ll never forget.
* * *
Addie
Waking up next to Zane in my bed has got to be the most amazing thing a woman can experience. He’s so quiet and peaceful looking. His chest bare and rising and falling slowly with each passing breath.
Using my index finger, I lazily swirl circles along his tight pecs. It’s not lost on me the evil things he did for me last night. Thad is gone from my life, and I have Zane to thank for that. My brows furrow wondering how bad it got after I left. I’ve never seen Zane at his worst, but something tells me it would terrify me.
“Addie?” the sound of Bobby’s voice hollers from down the hall. Holy shit.
Jumping out of bed, I grab the silk robe hanging on the back of my door and slip into the hallway.
