“You know, Sutton”—Adam leaned back in his chair so it made his chest look bigger. I always hated when he did that. “I’ve got to hand it to you. I never could learn how to make Jenna stop talking. She always had something smart to say with me.”
“That only comes from needing to hear something intelligent in the conversation.” I almost slapped a hand over my mouth, but the words were already free. Use it. I grinned and glanced at Sutton, my heart actually flipping a bit. This was a conversation I could get invested in. “Sutton’s smart enough I don’t need to chatter as much.”
“Besides, I like it when she does.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to my cheek, close enough he could whisper into my ear without the others hearing over the music, “Welcome back, Jem.” He nodded at Adam. “I wish she’d talk more, to tell the truth. She keeps me on my toes in a way not many people can.”
“That’s only because I know how great a dancer you are.”
Lacey practically jumped from her seat as she squeed. “Please say you’re going to dance at the wedding.”
Without waiting to hear if I would attend, Adam piped up. “Of course they’ll dance at the wedding. It’s going to be a party.”
“No. I mean dance.” Lacey grabbed my fingers. “You remember the time he demonstrated with you?”
Did I ever. It had been early at the ill-fated Halloween party. Sutton had been trying to show everyone some basic swing moves. He’d used me as his partner and complimented me on how quickly I’d picked up the steps. Neither Lacey nor I had told him about the hours I’d spent practicing at home beforehand. “Sure, I’d love to have my man throw me around again.”
Laughing, he nuzzled my cheek. “Gently, Jem. I promise not to crack your head against the dance floor this time.”
Oh yeah, my exuberant dip had put an end to our demo. That part I had forgotten. While Lacey and Sutton chatted about music selections for the wedding, I realized Adam was staring at me. It was different this time, though, not as hostile.
“Anyway,” I said, trying not to read anything into it or lose sight of the plan, “what’s the color scheme for the shindig? If you’re going to put Sutton and me front and center, it’d probably be best if I didn’t clash with the decor.”
“Pink primarily. I know, I know, you expect no less of me.” Lacey grinned, seeming happy that I was acting on board with the wedding. “I was debating a whole pastel theme.”
“I told you no already,” Adam growled. “Our wedding isn’t going to look like a fucking Easter egg. Pick something else.”
I pushed my plate away, then squeezed Sutton’s leg under the table as I wiped my fingers on my napkin. Adam’s tone had shifted. It only went that low when he was trying to be sexy—or when he was irritated. Based on the conversation, I doubted it was the former. I wasn’t sure how to play things from here.
Sutton made the call. “I don’t know. Easter. Renewal. Fresh start. Seems fitting.” He glanced at me and smiled. “For everyone.”
Lacey either wasn’t as clued in to Adam’s moods or she was better at ignoring them than I’d been, because she laughed. “See, you big lug? You’re the only one who doesn’t like the idea.” She turned her joy on Sutton and me. “I’m glad you two found each other after all this time. You always shone brightest when you were together.” She made a funny face and pressed a hand to her stomach for a second. “And on that happy note, I’ll be right back.”
As soon as she stood, Sutton pulled out his phone and frowned at it. “Shit. I have to take this. It’s from someone I used to work with. He said he might have a line on a job locally for me.” His chair scraped on the tiles as he pushed it from the table, setting off stage two of the plan—letting Adam get me alone.
I tipped my head up, silently begging for a kiss for luck. “Don’t take too long, okay? Bad enough they’re going to want you to come in for an interview and I’ll have to miss you while you’re gone.”
“Five minutes or less.” He pressed his lips against mine, and I sighed into his mouth, letting him take my fears and anxiety with him. Only a few minutes. I could handle that much without him. The kiss ended too soon, and he took his strength with him when he left. Damn.
I grabbed my margarita, taking a long drink from my straw, far too conscious of the fact that Adam had scooted over into Lacey’s spot. Five minutes. I can do this.
“You seem happy, Jenna.” And his voice was anything but.
“I am. Things are great.” Another drink. “You and Lacey seem to be doing well.” Dear God, was that the bottom of my glass coming? I knew I should have ordered another one when our food came.
He reached across the table, brushing his fingers over my knuckles. Once upon a time, it had been the signal he wanted to take off and have sex. “We’re great in some ways. I still miss you, Jenna—the way your skin feels, the way you smell.”
Apparently, the signal hadn’t changed. I tried not to let my smile falter. Pretend it’s Sutton touching you. No, scratch that. I don’t want my subconscious confused about who’s who. What had Sutton told me? I didn’t have to flirt; playing hard to get would work as well if not better. “I switched perfumes and lotion since graduation. I’ll have to let Lacey know what I’m using now.”
“That isn’t what I meant. You know he can’t do the things for you I did.”
“You’re right. He won’t leave me for Lacey. It’d be incest and that’s illegal here in Michigan. Lucky me.” I snatched my fingers away and grabbed my purse. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t pretend this was remotely okay.
I ran, quite literally, into Lacey on the way to the door. Adam had made me rage-blind to everything, and I could barely focus on her even with her standing right here. “Jenna, what’s wrong?”
My breath came in shallow gasps. I wanted to lash out at something. The more time I spent with her, though, the harder it was to see her in the same light as him. She might have hurt me, but he was tricking her the same way he had me for three years. I needed to get out of here before I ruined anything else. “Why don’t you ask your fiancé?”
I couldn’t get through the door fast enough. I tried to race to Sutton’s car, but I must have passed it before I sagged against the building and tried to remember how to breathe. People kept veering around me like I had the plague or something. Nothing to see here, folks. Move along. Move along.
Then a pair of strong arms wrapped around me and held me close. Sutton’s voice whispered into my ear as he stroked my hair. “I’m sorry, Jem. It’s over. The plan is over. I’m not doing this to you again.”
It wasn’t over though. Because it was working. “For now, I just want to go. Please.”
“On it.” He led me to the car and made sure to buckle me in before shutting the door. As soon as he was in the driver’s seat and pulled into traffic, he said, “I’ll tell Lacey we aren’t coming to the wedding. Maybe that will be—”
I shook my head. “What did he say?”
“What?”
“Were you there to hear what Adam said when Lacey asked what happened?”
Sutton went stony-faced for a minute—like thinking about it pissed him off. “He said you freaked and rushed off. When she asked why, he claimed not to know.”
“And she bought it.” I didn’t have to word it as a question. I knew better.
“Look, I think she was suspicious enough that refusing to go to the wedding might push her over.”
“No. It won’t. I know Adam, and he’ll convince her I’m manipulating you into not going. Full steam ahead with the plan.” Tonight I’d seen a glimmer of my best friend again and watched as Adam tried to snuff it out. At this point “maybe” wasn’t good enough for me.
…
A week later and I was still trying to convince myself I’d made the right decision.
It didn’t help to have Sutton asking every day if I was sure I could handle it.
Of course I wasn’t sure. What I was was right. I knew Adam. He’d pull Lacey back under, and
she’d be stuck there until she had no choice but to see his true colors—or he left her, which could take years as I knew all too well.
It didn’t help that my parents had been less than happy about my going to the engagement party. Mom was appalled over the whole thing and Dad thought I was insane. He might’ve been right.
When Sutton pulled into the driveway, I was nothing except a bundle of nerves, pacing on the front porch. He stopped halfway out of the car. “What are you doing outside?”
I dusted off the seat of my skirt and practically ran to the passenger side, opening the door before he had a chance to come around and do it for me. “I need to get this over with. Drive.”
We’d gone less than a mile when he said, “Penny for your thoughts?”
His voice shook me from the panicked loop of I think I can, and I did my best to erase whatever expression I’d been wearing. “Sorry, I need at least a dollar. I have student loans to pay.”
“That’s true. Honestly, all I want to know is what the hell were you running from at home that made facing my sister and your ex the preferred place to be?” He said it in a light, joking tone, but I knew there was steel beneath.
“I’m just nervous. If I let him get to me again, I don’t know if I’ll be able to hold it inside.”
He turned into his parents’ neighborhood, slowing to let a bunch of kids dash across the street in front of him. “Then don’t. If you’re going to insist on going through with this after dinner last weekend, don’t hesitate. Blast the fucker.”
“And lose Lacey in the process? Because you know I will. Your parents would never forgive me for causing a scene at one of their parties, either. Those forces combined would mean I’d end up losing you, too.” That was the part I couldn’t stomach.
“Damn it, Jem, how many times do I have to say that I’m not taking sides here?”
“Every time until it doesn’t feel like you’re split in half.” I threw my hands in the air. “Your family likes me, but I know how they work, Sutton. They might forgive; they don’t forget. If I don’t want to be something else they give you grief about, I can’t have them angry at me.” It didn’t help that I wasn’t a straight-and-narrow girl and they knew it—at least a little. I was the one who didn’t bother trying to toe the line. I treated it like a jump rope.
“It’s not that bad. I mean, sure, they were pissed when I explained about Chicago, but I deserved that.”
“Did you forget what growing up in that house was like? The rules—about opinions? Lacey had to hide her political views from them all through school. You know yourself when you deviate from what they find acceptable, it’s not okay. They still love you because you’re their child. I’m not. I don’t get to screw up—not in front of them.”
“Are you trying to make me choose between you and my family?” He threw the car into park at the end of the row of cars on the street. “Is that what this is?”
“No.” Yes. I didn’t want it to be, but being around them only drove home how much control the Bells had over their kids. Sutton still called his dad “sir,” for crying out loud.
“I choose all of you. Every last one, because I need you all.”
“That’s not an answer.” I crossed my arms over my chest and glared out the window, wishing I could go back in time and dump Adam after the first time he’d cheated.
“Fantastic. Now we’re fighting.”
“Should work perfectly into the plan, then. Adam will see it as weakness and try to get me alone. I’ll lose it and ruin the party, exactly like I worried all week I would. Then you can prove you’ll choose all of us.”
The quiet stretched between us, broken only by the random barking of dogs in the neighborhood.
“Can you do this or not?”
Funny how I’d thought when he finally broke the silence it would be with an apology. Shows what I knew. If I walked away now, I’d lose him for sure. In for a penny…
“Yeah. I can go play nice with Adam and Lacey. I can pretend I’m happy to be here. No problem.” I plastered on a fake grin that hurt so much I thought my face was cracking. “See?”
He threw his head back against the seat and sighed deeply. “I don’t want to fight. We do this together, really together, or we don’t do it.”
Which would mean him having to find another plan, one less likely to work. And it would always stand between us. Jerk. Too bad I liked him, even if he was a jerk.
I laid my fingers on his arm. “I can do this. I promise.”
When he finally looked at me, I smiled again, only this time it was a lot more real with something vaguely like love behind it. Boyfriend or not, I cared about Sutton. A lot. And in his own messed-up way, he needed me—exactly like he’d said.
He placed his hand over mine and squeezed. Still not an apology, but I’d take it. For now. There was plenty of time to figure a way past his secrets and my insecurities. The Adam and Lacey thing had deadlines—one of which was today. That came first no matter what.
Chapter Fourteen
-Sutton-
Jenna was as good as her word, walking into the party wearing a huge smile, her fingers twined in mine. It was a little awkward for me. The fight in the car had been stupid—her nerves and mine clashing against each other—but was she over it or was this going to come back to haunt us again?
I pushed the thought into a deep corner of my brain—determined to focus on Lacey and the plan. Hopefully today would end it, and we’d be able to move on.
We made the rounds to relatives, many of whom had met Jenna before when she was at a family gathering with Lacey. Every time someone asked if she was my girlfriend was like a fist to the gut.
All those years of wondering what it would be like to walk into a family event with her on my arm and not one fantasy had involved a scenario like this. Would we be here if not for the plan? Or would I have avoided making a move because I was afraid I hadn’t shaken my damn past enough to deserve her yet?
Seeing Lacey hanging on Adam didn’t help matters any. They looked so fucking happy, and I couldn’t understand why. She practically glowed as she stared up at him. It wasn’t fair, and it sure as hell wasn’t right. He shouldn’t look like some stupid blond god. And Lacey sure as shit shouldn’t have looked like she worshipped him. I squeezed my hand into a fist.
Jenna yelped. “Dude. If you want to break my fingers, can you save it for after the party? Hard to act happy if you’re crushing my digits.”
“Sorry.” I let go of her entirely, not sure if I could keep from doing it again.
She flexed her fingers and glanced toward the deck. Judging by the way her expression slipped to something sour—narrowed eyes, twisted lips—she’d caught sight of our targets. “This won’t work. We need to do our in-love, bantering thing. The first part I can pull off. The latter? I’ve…got nothing.”
Great. It was time to sell this thing, and I couldn’t even hold her hand.
Jenna squirmed, brushing at her shirt as if it had attacked her, finally pulling away with an errant strand of hair between her fingers. “Stupid long hair always tickling me. One of these days I’m going to shave it off.”
“We’re going to have to break up if you do,” I muttered, a bit of my frustration dissipating as she snorted.
After what he’d put Jenna through last week, I needed to ignore Adam as much as possible. That was the trick. Which meant a distraction was exactly what I needed—what we both probably needed. I slipped an arm around Jenna’s waist, pulling her close as we walked.
“I thought you were mad at me.” She stuck her tongue out, and I wasn’t sure whether to frown at her or kiss her and trap it in my mouth.
“Play along. One way or another, we need to get through this, right?”
Giving an exaggerated sigh, she snaked her arm around me. “Fine, but you totally owe me chocolates or something after being such a dick in the car.”
As much as I wanted to retort, I liked this better than the sniping. “Chocolate. Di
ck. Got it.”
Her head landed on my shoulder as she laughed, and it felt too right there. Time to get our business over with so we could move past the stupid fights about Lacey and Adam and on to stage two: us, for real. I needed to prove to Jenna—and myself—that I could be the kind of guy she deserved. And as much as I hated to admit it, Jenna was right. My loyalties were divided right now, and it wasn’t fair.
We moved forward, languidly, like we didn’t have a care in the world, never mind a destination. As we approached our targets, though, Jenna stiffened. I dug my fingers into her side, right at the perfect spot. She squirmed away from me, giggling. “I told you. No tickling!”
I grabbed her and pulled her toward me, planting a kiss on the top of her head. “Can’t help it. You’re too damned irresistible.”
“You made it!” Lacey stepped gingerly from the deck, then raced over to us.
Jenna tensed for a second until I found that spot again. Before I managed to tickle her, she gracefully twisted free and wrapped her arms around Lacey. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
Through the whole thing, Adam stayed on the edge of the deck, watching the three of us. The look of consternation on his face only deepened when Jenna returned to the shelter of my arm. I nuzzled her neck for a second, just to piss him off more.
Lacey shook her head at the two of us as if she found the cuddling silly. “Okay, adorable people, can I beg one of you to help me for a minute? Mom is insisting on lilies for the wedding and won’t listen to me about how bad they smell. I need backup.”
She looked to Jenna, clearly wanting some one-on-one time, but that wasn’t how we needed to divvy up.
I jumped on the opening before we had to make up something to keep Jenna in Adam’s range. “Sure thing. She never could deal with the two of us against her.” Jenna blew out a slow breath. I pulled her in for a hug and whispered, “You can do this. Remember the goal.”
Fall With Me Page 10
