She was an auric druid, level 44, and her name was Tiatha. I went with a druid instead of a light cleric because while both classes were adept at healing and poison control, druids could also shoot bows and were decent fighters. The tradeoff was she wasn’t skilled with certain protection spells like a cleric would be. I wasn’t certain if I’d made the correct decision or not.
I figured I still might end up getting another healer in Quibou, or I’d hire a mage who could also cast some rudimentary protection spells. I would see what was available when we got there. In the meantime, Tiatha would do. She was sort of an odd duck, as my dad would say. Where Bingo and Granger were extraordinarily realistic, Tiatha was queen of the uncanny valley. She had a gruff, no-nonsense personality. I didn’t know if the game designers ever bothered to give her a backstory at all. I thought maybe she was a holdover from the very early days of the game. She just sat there and stared ahead until someone asked her something. She reminded me of those sex robots they had skulking around on Brownsville, a street in my hometown. They had those dead eyes, and it freaked me out. Err, not that I ever visited a sex robot, mind you. Even Bingo seemed unnerved by her.
But she could cast Group Heal, had a dexterity of 17, and she had a mystic point regeneration bonus. An NPC like that would be very popular in the old days. I was glad she was on the team, even if she was creepy as hell.
With the team at least partially formed, I just needed to stock up on supplies. I had multiples of healing and mystic point restoration potions, plus poison antidote, stamina, anti-paralysis, anti-insanity, barkskin, and numerous protection potions. I had my side blade, Dolly Trauma; my axe, FUD; my beetle plate armor, which was uncomfortable as shit, so I didn’t wear it unless I had to; and my new helmet. The helmet looked just like my previous one: a horned barbarian helm with a single horn lopped off. I found it in the back of a dusty, old antique shop in the armor district. It had a Feather Fall enchantment, which was really important because Alice had a tendency to throw me when we were in battle.
For accessories I had Gretchen’s watch, which she’d let me borrow just for this expedition. It imbued +1 to my magic ability and +3 to my dexterity. My second accessory was a necklace I found. It’s cool because it could only be worn by juvenile females. It was called Brandi’s Tear, and it gave me +1 to my magic ability and +1 to my strength.
I was also bringing a ton of jacks. I would only carry about 40K on me, in case I got killed—you lose half when you die. The rest would be in my bank account, which I’d have access to in Quibou if I needed it.
In addition, I replaced both Granger’s and Tiatha’s plain longbows with a simple magical one that produced unlimited arrows. Anyone who ever played an archer in this game would buy one of two items before anything else. Either a bow like these, or a magical, unlimited quiver. Ammo management was a bitch, and you could only carry so many arrows before they became too cumbersome. Tiatha took the upgraded bow with no emotion. The gruff Granger nodded appreciatively as I handed him his. I watched him practice a few shots, and he was good. Damn good. I was glad we hadn’t faced the Cutthroats in the arena battle. Bingo refused any additional supplies for himself and his team.
Tiatha cocked her head at me uncomprehendingly when I asked her if I should buy her anything else. Talking to the healer was like talking to a cat.
And with that, we were ready. I wasn’t expecting to find much when we got there, but I figured it would be good to be prepared. I pretty much assumed we’d have to complete the spiral run to get to the next stage of the quest, and that wasn’t going to happen even with a party of maxed-out soldiers, not when there were less than thirty of us. But we would get to that first castle, gather all the intel we could, and retreat. If anything, Alice and I would get a decent amount of experience.
Jonah wanted so badly for us to succeed. He was intent on saving Harmony. We all knew it wasn’t going to happen, but the damn kid was as stubborn as his donkey. That’s why I’d made him promise to give it up if we failed. I wasn’t going to throw this fight. I wanted to succeed also. But sometimes you just gotta be realistic.
I’d convinced myself that this was going to be a boring, uneventful excursion, that all this preparation was just overkill. It would be a distraction, but ultimately, fruitless. We’d get there, see it was a no-go, and we’d turn around and go home.
Holy fucking shit was I wrong.
Unknown Note 2
Molly,
Hey baby girl. It’s your birthday today. You know what’s funny? Every day is your birthday here. This game is going really, really fast, which means time out in the real world moves super slow. And out there it’s Christmas Eve. It’s been Christmas Eve the entire time I’ve been here, and it will be for the next two hundred years, according to my friend Gretchen. Remember our joke? The 24th is your special day, and the 25th is your special day, encore edition? You used to laugh so much.
Every time I look at that damn clock readout, I’m reminded that it’s your birthday, and that I’m not with you to help celebrate it.
Daddy misses you so, so much. I miss your laugh, and I miss your smile.
I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I missed the first five years of your life. We were together for such a short time. It’s unbearable to me that I missed the rest of your life also. Did you ever get married? Who walked you down the aisle? Did you have kids? Did the world even last long enough for you to grow old?
Did you remember me?
The not knowing is killing me. It is burning me from the inside out. I am so ashamed.
You must hate me. I don’t blame you. I hate me.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
Daddy.
Popper Note 4
If one looks up the term “Clusterfuck” in the dictionary, what I’m about to tell you is going to be the new, long-form definition. Holy shit.
We met at the castle just past 11 P.M. The hobgoblin capital was nine hours ahead, and we wanted a full day ahead of us to explore the town of Quibou before we ventured into the spiral. The plan was to find an inn and stable so I could reset my regen. I would let Raj loose upon the city so he could gather up all the gossip he could soak in. Tiatha, Alice, and the two gorcupine berserkers—Winston and Flaky—would sit at the inn and stay out of trouble while Bingo, Granger, and I went out seeking new recruits.
Jonah and Gretchen met us at the gates. Keta said the spell couldn’t be cast inside the castle, so we were going to do it right there on the drawbridge. We were ready. We had all of our supplies. I’d psyched myself up well enough that I wasn’t too scared anymore. After all, I had Alice with me, and she had a way of keeping me strong. Plus nobody would ever fuck with Bingo. The dude was nine feet tall.
“Remember,” Jonah said. “Don’t put yourself in too much danger. Keep talking to us so we know you’re okay.”
“Sure thing, boss,” I said.
“Three days and 12 hours from now, so noon Harmony time,” Keta said. “Eight P.M. Castellane time. I will open the portal at the exact spot I am dropping you off. I can only keep it open for ten minutes, so don’t be late.”
I nodded. We’d decided that three and a half days was probably overkill, but it allowed for me to go into the spiral, get stuck somewhere, and wait out the bi-weekly Purge spell that would free me. If I was done earlier, I’d just have Jonah order her to come fetch me.
I mentally clicked on the clock and set up multiple alarms to warn me of when the portal would be there.
Gretchen put her hand on my shoulder. “Seriously. Be careful,” she said.
“Pfft,” I said. “I got this. Just keep an eye on my wall for me, will you? Don’t let them slack off, especially those pollywog assholes down in Georgetown.”
She kissed me on the cheek, and I felt them flush. Embarrassed, I pushed away.
“You are in the body of a human girl child, but you act like a man,” Bingo said.
I laughed. “That’s what they tell me.”
K
eta pulled out the glowing, rolled parchment, unfurled it, and began to read. It took almost a full minute of her chanting for the spell to cast, which was a long time in this game. The higher level the spell, the more casting it took.
The portal opened, huge, bigger than I’d ever see before. The vertical, eye-shaped gateway blinked open. A white, cloudy mist obscured our vision of the other side.
Keta fell to her knees, sweat beading on the half-auric’s forehead. “It is open for ten minutes.”
I nodded at Jonah and Gretchen. Astride Alice, I led my group through the portal.
The only non-obelisk portals I’d ever gone through before were in a few random dungeons and the one from the spider queen quest that all noobs had to do, plus the one from the emo-tong when I’d gone to get Raj from Valisa. This was much the same. A quick stab of electricity, brighter and stronger than I’d been expecting, and it went from night to day. I sucked in a quick bout of nausea and shook my head, brushing away the sudden, disorienting cobwebs. The temperature was only slightly warmer than that of Harmony, but the sun was out, something that didn’t happen often in the rain-soaked country of Aberdeen. My face instinctively turned toward the sun, soaking in the digital warmth like a flower.
Entering Quibou.
Quibou. The small but dense town was much as I remembered, only now it wasn’t filled with massive, ambling parties of armor-clad players preparing themselves for their spiral run. The entire purpose of this town was to sell supplies for adventurers preparing to attempt the spiral.
I took a quick survey of our surroundings. We stood on the sprawling, stone walkway just south of the colossal, twin obelisks. The two towers were framed by an even larger square archway that had to stand 350 feet into the air, and it was by far the largest building on this side of the river. The arch was called The Defender’s Door, and it supposedly represented the Dominion’s power. It was mirrored about a mile and a half away, just over the bridge by a similar archway, called the Arch of Conquest, which was the only entranceway to the city of Castellane and represented the official starting doorway to the spiral run.
Keta had opened the portal at the foot of the stairs to the obelisk park. I made a mental note of the location before we wandered off. The park was flanked by two large buildings. One was a solid-looking stone stronghold, supposedly garrisoned by white jackets, though I’d never seen anyone or thing ever go in or out. On the other side was an expansive hotel that took up almost an entire block. Attached to the hotel were a line of churches. In the old days, all of the major churches were represented here. Now it was just a line of black temples of Tharon. I counted, and there were 17 of them, right in a row.
Gretchen: You guys okay?
Poppy: Looking good so far.
Gretchen: Okay. Keep us updated.
“Raj wants to stay there!” Raj said, pointing at the tall, elegant building. I’d forgotten about the hotel. The Luxuriant. I’d never stayed there because one had to have reservations, and it was expensive as shit, something like 3,000 jacks a night, which was outrageous. You had to book it months in advance. It was one of those places where they had slave girls who massaged your feet, and the food was made-up fine cuisine bullshit, like kraken roe and prime rib of Pegasus.
“We’re not staying there,” I said. “Come on everybody, follow me.” We went west, where I knew a whole street of smaller, more reasonably-priced pubs and inns stood. And just past that were the mercenary markets.
Bingo and Granger walked beside me and Alice, while the other two gorcupines, Winston and Flaky, loped several steps back. Bingo could either walk on all fours, or he could stand to his full height and walk like a human. He seemed to prefer walking on two legs, but it made him slower. Winston and Flaky remained on all fours. Tiatha the auric walked several steps back from them, bringing up the rear.
“What’s up with your two friends?” I asked, indicating the two subservient gorcupines. Both were much smaller than Bingo, only about seven feet tall each.
“What do you mean ‘what’s up?’” Bingo asked.
“I know you’re obviously their leader, but they hardly ever talk, or even look up from the ground. They’re kinda freaky.”
“They are subservient to me,” he said. “Flaky and Winston were captured the same time I was, but we are not originally from the same tribe. I am Spear Gullet Clan, and they are Bristle Clan. Bristle Clan is subservient to Spear Gullet, therefore I am their alpha, and they do not dare challenge me.”
“I guess that works out because you’re bigger and stronger than them. But what if they were bigger than you?”
Bingo grunted. “I am average-sized for Spear Gullet Clan, maybe a little small. I am not the strongest of their fighters. Flaky and Winston are the greatest warriors Bristle has to offer. If I was smaller than them, I would never have survived childhood.”
“How did you get caught then? How’d you end up in the coliseum?”
Bingo issued a low growl. I felt Alice tense up underneath me. “I remember my capture, but it was so long ago, I do not fully recall it. There were two captures, actually, but the second was voluntary.”
“Oh, really?”
“The first was when a squadron of hobgoblins raided my village in Rutogbe. The details in my mind are sparse. There must have been treacherous magic involved. They brought me here to Castellane. It is here I was brought with several of my brothers and sisters, and we were caged alongside many of the Bristle Clan. We were compelled to defend the city from the daily defenders.”
It took a moment for that to sink in.
“Wait, what? So you have been here before?” Shit, no wonder Waldo suggested I bring him.
“I assumed you knew. Where do you think the crown gets the beasts for the coliseum?”
“Well, I don’t know, I figured they went out and captured them the old-fashioned way.”
Bingo shook his big head. “Once a fortnight, the Dominion sends an army of white jackets through the spiral. They disarm the traps and destroy what towers they can. They usually do not make it far before retreating, but they capture what beasts they encounter and either bring them to the zoo in Harmony or use them for the coliseum battles. Every once in a while, a particularly talented group of white jackets will make it all the way to the Menagerie. That is where they found us. We did battle with them, and in the end I decided to willingly go with them instead of remaining a captive. They promised me and two additional fighters free passage to Harmony where I could live as a warrior and not a slave.”
“Why did you pick those guys?” I asked, indicating Flaky and Winston.
“The surviving others of Spear Gullet did not think it was honorable to leave the spiral as captives a second time. I disagreed. These two honored themselves in battle.”
“Wait,” I said, a realization dawning on me. “Does that mean your clan members are still in there? Do you think they would help us?”
Bingo grunted. I assumed that was his version of a laugh. “This is near the end of the spiral. If we attempted to speak with them, we would honorably die long before we got to the Menagerie.”
I sighed. I imagined a whole army of gorcupine warriors like Bingo would be unstoppable. A lot better than trolls, that was for sure. But he was right. If we did decide to go into the spiral, we wouldn’t dare go past the first castle, the base of the Sentinel Tower.
We came to a wide street dotted with pubs. The streets, like the rest of Quibou, were eerily empty. Still, the town wasn’t abandoned. Innkeepers stood in their doorways and watched us pass. Stable hands called out, beckoning to Alice, attempting to get us to stay at their establishment.
The last time I was here, we’d been hard-pressed to find a proper inn to spend an hour to sleep. The crowds were shoulder-to-shoulder, most waiting their turn to run the spiral. The gate opened six times a day, letting groups in. Most crowds went together, but the first few miles of the spiral encompassed multiple pathways. Sometimes smaller parties went off on their own—which was
the stupidest way to do it, but also the most fun. After the first junction at the base of the infamous Sentinel Tower, everyone had to take the same path.
It seemed this area never depended on NPCs to pad the population like so many other cities. Like the nightclubs of Grandeur or the casinos of Sin, this town was a major gathering place for players. As a result, it was now almost empty.
The very last pub on this street was called The Donut Boater, whatever the hell that meant. It was just like I remembered. Filthy, smelly, cheap, and with rooms big enough to accommodate half-ogres. It would be cramped for Bingo, but there’s nothing I could do about that.
The small stable out front could only house five or six mounts. The stablehand was a young girl that looked a little too much like me. She looked me up and down as Alice clomped into the stall.
“Is that your sister?” Raj asked. The polecat had been mostly silent since we’d arrived.
“No. Now go run around town, see if anything interesting is going on. But don’t get into trouble.” The polecat nodded and zipped away into an alleyway, fast as a lightning bolt.
The eyes of the middle-aged pub owner lit up the moment I entered. Though he soured when I only bought one room. NPCs didn’t have the same energy and stamina rules as players, and I couldn’t change their regen spot. Because of this, there was no point of me paying for a room for them until the evening. And I would only do it at night to keep them out of trouble while I was asleep.
After sleeping an hour in a lumpy bed the size of a small swimming pool, I came out to the pub to find Bingo holding Granger upside down by the ankles while the other two gorillas howled with laughter. The innkeeper frowned at the antics. I had to yell at them all to calm down. Even the stoic Granger, who’d been the victim, seemed to think it was funny. Tiatha sat in the corner the whole time, nursing an ale, staring off into space.
The Hobgoblin Riot: Dominion of Blades Book 2: A LitRPG Adventure Page 12
