“I just want to go home,” Jonah said after a moment. He rested his head on Gretchen’s shoulder.
I thought of home. Of Juliette and Molly. Lost to me.
We sat in silence, watching the lights twinkle. Tomorrow we would go explore.
“It’s almost time,” I said, glancing at my clock.
“You still have my watch,” Gretchen said. “I can’t tell the time without it.”
I fished it out of my pocket, handing it to her.
All three of us held our breath as the clock ticked over to 9:58.
A moment later, Jonah let out a stream of breath. “It’s just like Castle Harmony. It says the curse failed to cast. You were right, Gretchen.”
“At least something is going our way,” Gretchen said.
“Don’t say that shit,” I said. “You know you’re just going to jinx…”
Raj: A group of dwarves just walked into town. They are different than normal dwarves. Their skin is purple! Like a big bruise!
I threw my hands in the air. “See? This is all your fault!”
Gretchen gave me the finger.
Gretchen: How many are there?
Raj: Just a few, but they are standing in the pavilion, like they are waiting for something. They come one by one. Wait. Raj sees more. More are coming.
Gretchen: Okay, thanks, Raj. Give us an update in a couple hours.
Raj: Raj is a scout!
“Purple dwarves?” Jonah asked. “What the hell are those?”
“They’re the tormented,” Gretchen said. “They’re a common mob. You usually find them under mountains in North America. I’m guessing this is what we’re facing in round two.”
“But what are they?” Jonah said.
Gretchen rubbed her forehead. “There’s an old story about the tormented. They used to be normal dwarves, living in a large mine complex. This was long ago. They worshipped a vagrant god, a demon of the underworld. This is from the second age, so after the primordials but before the current timeline with the pantheon. When the goddess Accord, daughter of Dak banished all the false gods at the start of the third age, the adherents of the banished gods were punished. The dwarves, unable to be rewarded with an afterlife, are left to suffer until their god returns.”
“So basically it turns them purple and mean,” I said. “There’s a quest to find and free their demon god. It’s a giant mole thing. These tormented are tough, but they’re slow. We should be okay this round if that’s all there is and we can get at least some of these towers armed.”
“That’s a big if,” Gretchen said. “Something tells me none of these waves are going to be easy.”
Raj Note 1
My name is Raj. I am a scout. I am scout Raj.
I help King Jonah, General Gretchen, and Regent Poppy. I am watching for the bad monsters.
I am also a protector. I am protecting 15 people. I am keeping them safe. They were at the hotel when the hobgoblins came. They are all sorts. They are mostly old and young. They are scared. I am scared too. But I will pretend to be brave. It makes them feel better. When Raj’s mother made me leave, she said I had to be brave. I had to be a real man. She said she would come back one day. So Raj pretends to be brave.
Raj’s mother will come back, and we will walk on the beach and collect seashells and sand like we used to.
I will save these people, like a real, brave man. Like King Jonah, like General Gretchen, like Regent Poppy. When I save them, I know my mother will come back. She will see I am brave. She will see I can afford to pay for my own food. We will go to the beach, and she will hold my hand.
I can protect her, too.
I am a protector.
Popper Note 16
Bingo finally staggered back to the fort at about 10 A.M. We were in the defense cockpit, talking strategy on our raid for Castle Six. Outside on the main part of the island, Granger and Nale were organizing the mercenaries who had heeded the call to come to the city, and we’d just spent some time inspecting them. Despite my list having about almost 2,000 names on it, only 75 mercenaries or so showed up, and I didn’t know why. Apparently just ordering them to do something using the war party chat wasn’t always enough. Another item for the list of shit to figure out.
I noted no mages came, nor any rogues or sappers or clerics. In fact, they were all fighters and archers, with a single exception. A tall, broody, auric bard arrived with the others, hanging back with three robed archers.
“The difference between normal parties and war parties still bothers me,” Jonah said, eyes glossy as he examined the properties of the NPCs. “I know how to arrow people and to order them about, but even when we fought with the white jackets earlier, they weren’t in our party. How are war parties different?”
“Yeah, it can be confusing,” I said, shrugging. “There are parties, and there are war parties. They’re two different things. Quests don’t transfer with war parties, and the way experience is shared is also different. If you’re an officer in a war party, you can order arrowed characters around if they’re a lower rank than you. You can also form subgroups in war parties, battalions and platoons and so forth. Groups running the riot were always put in a battalion-level war party together, with the highest-ranking player as the leader. That way you got notifications when nearby players were killed, you had a dedicated party chat system, and you could see their names floating over their heads. You don’t see the floaty names unless you’re in a normal party or in a war party subgroup.”
The plan was to use all the mercenaries to storm Castle Six, breaking through the main entrance and the back at the same time. A host of archers and warriors would also stand watch outside, in case the prince emerged from a secret exit. Wherever Prince Kankan was hiding, we’d find him.
Bingo limped into the defense cockpit. He was covered in blood, and half his quills were bent and displaced. Chauncey trailed after him, clucking about the blood staining the carpet.
“What the hell happened to you?” I asked.
Tiatha, who’d been quietly watching us from the back of the room, stepped forward, her hand raised. Bingo glowed, and his wounds closed up. His quills shimmered as he placed them in a resting position on his back. The massive gorilla nodded at the healer, breathing heavily.
“The three gorcupines who were occupying the Menagerie are all of Bristle Clan, the same clan as Winston. They are supposed to be subservient, but they did not show proper respect. I was forced to reestablish the hierarchy.”
“And that took all night?” I asked. “Aren’t they locked up in cages?”
“Also, aren’t there five of them?” Gretchen added, looking down at the map and frowning.
“The…negotiations between gorcupine clans takes many hours. We start with telling our history and why we are the dominant clan. My stance was Spear Gullet Clan has always been dominant over Bristle Clan, and there was no reason to change that now. Their stance was they had five warriors, and I was only one. I showed them the error of this stance. Now they are three warriors. Four if Winston wishes to rejoin them.”
“Jesus, Bingo. You kill your own kind more than anything else! How did they get out of the cage?” I asked again, my eyes settling on Chauncey, who shrank back into a dark corner of the room.
“I had the Master of Obstacles open the relevant cages.”
“Master of Obstacles?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
The coypu looked sheepish. “Ah, yes, monsieur. That was one of my many previous titles under Chief Musa. While Oliver was responsible for the monsters, the maintenance of the six major obstacles was mine, so the Menagerie fell under my purview.”
Bingo grunted. “Oliver may be the so-called beastmaster, but during my time in the Menagerie, I never saw him. All of my experiences were with the rodent, and his whip.”
“Whip?” I asked, looking at the coypu. I couldn’t even begin to imagine that tiny creature facing down Bingo with any sort of weapon.
“Will the other two gorcupines reg
enerate in time for the next wave?” Jonah asked, poking at the Menagerie model with his finger. “Oh shit,” he said a moment later. “I guess not. Check out the notes section.”
I focused on the model of the zoo and pulled up the relevant passage:
Please note, beasts added to the Menagerie will not regenerate in their cages, but will be returned to their previous home. This applies to the Menagerie only and not any other traps or obstacles in the spiral.
Shit. That meant even if we did manage to fill the zoo with deadly monsters, we’d have to do it all over again after each wave if any were killed.
“Did you talk to the humans there?” Gretchen asked.
“Yes,” Bingo said. “I left them in their cages so you can look upon them before deciding what to do. There are eight humans and two texugo, all of them white jackets. They were once many, according to their leader, but the coypu removes one every other day to feed the remaining staff of this castle.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I said, turning on Chauncey. “You little fucker. When were you going to mention this?”
“Ah, well, you see, when you arrived, monsieur, there was much urgency. And then this monstrosity kidnapped me and whisked me off to the Menagerie to open the cages, and I never got the chance. It was first on my list for when you returned from your battle.”
I exchanged a look with Gretchen and Jonah. We needed to let those guys out right away, but we’d have to talk to them first, just to make sure they weren’t all batshit.
“What about the other beasts? What were they? Pazuzu? And what the hell is an oblivion walrus?” Jonah asked.
Chauncey wrung his hands nervously. “Yes, the five pazuzu demons are present and as angry as always. They are formidable adversaries. I advise to leave them be.”
“What about this walrus thing?” Jonah asked.
“Oblivion walruses are mean, semi-intelligent walrus creatures from the north,” Gretchen said. “I don’t know how they got one here. They’re really difficult to kill. They’re called oblivion walruses because their insides are bigger than their outsides. There’s this one quest where you have to find a golden walrus and deliberately get yourself swallowed by it. There’s a whole, full-sized dungeon on the inside. Normally you kill one, and a bunch of sea-lion things come out and attack you.”
“Okay,” I said, looking back at the map. “We’ll look in on all of that after we deal with Prince Kankan. I’m glad you’re back, Bingo. I got a question for you. Do you fancy yourself a backdoor or a front door man?”
* * *
An hour later, we marched the short distance to Castle Six, which stood grandly at the end of the Gardens. The gargoyle statues had returned to their podiums, but I warned everyone not to set a single foot on the grass, lest they activate them again.
Gretchen and I decided to leave Alice and Bruce Bruce at the stables. Alice pouted, but with only a fraction of the gusto she normally showed when she was being left behind. Everyone else from the original party joined us, including Spritz.
I hadn’t been able to find a new weapon, so I clutched Dolly Trauma, my long knife. I needed to replace my armor as well.
As we marched, Granger introduced us to three archers of note.
“These are the archers I attempted to add to our party earlier, before we hit difficulties,” Granger said, indicating three robed figures. “They are more proficient with the bow than anyone I have ever met.” All three lowered their hoods to regard me.
All three were human females, all about 18 years old. They were identical triplets, I realized, but were otherwise unremarkable. These were typical, brown-haired, brown-eyed human NPCs, and I would never have given them a second look. I would never have guessed they were so skilled that an expert like Granger would be impressed. Each gazed upon me with a look of surprised amusement.
“You’re the leader?” the first asked.
“She’s just a kid!” the second added. “That’s kind of cool.”
The third just looked at me.
Each wore their hair differently, and it was the only way I could tell them apart. The first kept hers in a side ponytail, and the second appeared to have somehow gotten her hands on a massive can of hairspray, so much so that it poofed out several inches when she removed her hood. The third’s hair was cropped short.
Trailing right behind them was the bard I had noticed earlier. He was an auric. The long-haired elf creature said nothing, but his eyes gave the impression he’d rather be anywhere but here. He had a well-worn stringed instrument slung over his shoulder.
“This is Starr, Crystal, and Kitty Chapman,” Granger said of the archers. “All three should be addressed as ‘Mistress,’ but they refuse the honorarium.”
“Holy shit,” Jonah said a moment later. “They’re each level 30 with the longbow.”
“Nice to meet you,” I said. “We can really use you in the towers. In fact, I know exactly where I want to put you.” In the distance, the abandoned Sentinel Tower stood watch over the city.
“Whatever,” Starr said.
“As long as Ace comes with us, we’re good with wherever you put us,” Crystal said.
Kitty Chapman, the third sister with the cropped hair, continued to say nothing.
“Who’s Ace? This guy?” I asked, indicating the bard.
“Actually, my name is…” the bard began.
“You’re Ace,” Starr said.
“Why do you need him?” I asked.
“Because,” Crystal said. “If we have to be away from jukey, then we’re going to bring jukey with us.”
“What the hell are they talking about?” Jonah asked.
Starr—the one with the side ponytail—reached forward and grabbed Jonah’s forearm. “Ooh, he’s muscly.”
Crystal reached forward and grabbed his other one. “Yeah he is. Too bad he’s a hunter.”
“I have no idea,” Gretchen said.
“Jukey, you know,” Starr said, stepping back from a bewildered Jonah. “The oracle of music. His shrine stands in the pub where we wait to be hired every day. A while back we figured the day might come when we would have to leave. So we made Ace here learn all of our favorites. He’s our personal jukey. He’s no David Coverdale, but he’s serviceable.”
“We call him Ace. After Ace Frehley, the original guitarist for KISS.”
Gretchen and Jonah just stared at the girls, open-mouthed.
“Oh shit,” I said. “Jukey is a jukebox. That’s the name brand on the units.” Some of the larger pubs in the world had jukeboxes in them, and they worked like the real thing. “NPCs aren’t supposed to be able to use them.”
“They’re not supposed to know who KISS is, either,” Gretchen said.
“Who the hell is David Coverdale?” Jonah asked.
“Oh my gods,” Starr said. “He’s the greatest singer ever.”
Crystal laughed with derision. “Of course he wouldn’t know any Whitesnake. Look at him. He’s a hunter. He’s probably into that same country western bullshit the half-ogres like. But David Coverdale is not the best singer. Please. Don Dokken, Sebastian Bach, even Axl Rose are better.”
“I have no idea who any of these people are,” Jonah said. “Is Axl Rose from that Welcome to the Jungle song?”
“There’s hope for you yet!” Starr said, brightening. “Now, if you know who Joe Elliot is, I’ll truly be impressed.”
“How is this possible?” I asked Gretchen and Jonah. The two sisters continued to argue over who the best singers were from a genre of music that had been popular long before I’d even been born. NPCs weren’t supposed to know anything about the real world at all.
“This is really worrisome,” Gretchen said. “It’s another sign that the NPCs are waking up. But this is far beyond anything I thought possible.” She turned to the first girl. “Uh, Starr, is it? Where do you think this music comes from?”
“It comes from Jukey,” she said.
“I know, but where does Jukey get it?”<
br />
“Well,” Starr said. “It depends on the band. Def Leppard is from Sheffield in the country of England. KISS and Twisted Sister are from the state of New York. But most of the ones we listen to are from Los Angeles in the state of California. Guns N’ Roses. Dokken. Mötley Crüe. The biographies of the bands are all available on Jukey’s info screen.”
“Wait,” Jonah said. “These are all 20th-century hair metal bands?” He laughed. “Holy shit.”
“Why do you like hair metal?” I asked. “Most of the, err, Jukeys, have a library of pretty much everything. The more recent stuff is so much better. Have you listened to any blast? RVM? Though girls your age are usually into the more pop stuff.”
“Wait,” Gretchen said, holding up her hand. “Starr, where do you think Los Angeles is? Or New York?”
Starr exchanged a look with Crystal before answering. “Do you know where Los Angeles is? Because if you do, you really gotta tell us. We’re headed there.”
“If it still exists,” Kitty Chapman said, talking for the first time. “After the tsunami.”
Jonah suddenly turned serious. “Half the city was destroyed, but they’d started rebuilding.”
“So you do know where it is,” Starr said, becoming excited. “If they’re rebuilding, that means we can still go.”
“How do you know about the tsunami?” I asked Kitty Chapman.
“There’re multiple songs and albums about the event,” Kitty Chapman said.
The southern California tsunami had happened after DoB had been shut down. I didn’t know if that was important or not, but it seemed notable.
“If you have access to the biographies of all the bands,” I said, “then you gotta know most of these guys are long dead. That type of music isn’t very popular anymore.”
“We know,” Starr said. “It doesn’t matter. We want to go. After we’re done with this conscription bullshit, we’re still headed there. Telling us how to get there is the least you can do after forcing us to fight against our will.”
“Guys,” I said. “I gotta tell you, Los Angeles is…”
The Hobgoblin Riot: Dominion of Blades Book 2: A LitRPG Adventure Page 23
