"We'll get you an alarm system and security guards." I told her, dropping my voice to a whisper. "I won't let her hurt you."
Still she sat ramrod straight, her whole body tense, and I wondered if she was going to push me away, or even hit me. She seemed angry enough to do anything, even if it would hurt her later when she calmed down.
Shit, I was worried that she was going to hit me, not because I might get hurt, but because she might hurt her hand and need an ice pack. I suddenly remembered the knife she'd held in the car. Had she left it there? Where were the knife and scissors? I looked around the bed for them, but I couldn't see them. On the edge of panic, I tried to pull her toward me again.
"I won't let them hurt you," I promised her again. "I'll even take you shopping to buy more clothes to replace these."
She looked at me, her eyes filling with tears. Her hand groped for something behind me – I prayed that it wasn't something sharp – before her tears spilled over.
What would the woman who did this to an entire wardrobe of clothes do to Caitlin if she got her hands on her? I realised suddenly, my arms tightening protectively around Caitlin. Nothing. NOTHING. I wouldn't let her.
Her tears were short-lived this time. It seemed only a couple of minutes before Caitlin sat up again, something still clenched in her right hand.
She wiped at her eyes with her free hand, sniffling. "Did she get to the dirty clothes in the laundry?"
I thought about the untouched pyjamas on the bathroom floor. "I don't know, but I doubt it."
She stood up, a little shakily. "Then I better go do some washing, before I get a rubbish bag for all this."
As she walked away with small, careful steps, leaning against the walls and furniture where she could, I noticed her hands were empty.
I watched her until she was out of sight down the passage, before I looked to see what she'd been so quick to grab and keep hidden from me. On the clear patch of the bed where she'd been sitting was a crumpled ball of shredded black satin and lace. I smoothed out the remains of the slashed g-string and felt my face grow hot.
Oh God, I just agreed to take her shopping for sexy underwear.
Don't think about it. Make some phone calls. Check with whoever's on surveillance to see if it was Laura.
Keep her safe 'til tomorrow and then worry about how I'd manage to go underwear shopping with her without being a blind eunuch with a preference for guys. Fuck...
67
Knocked out or just asleep?
Still dark.
Chris. The only name they gave me.
Tied up, restraining wrists and ankles.
Someone else here?
Water. Sipping slowly, swallowing painfully.
Let me go! Help me, you bastard.
Give me a weapon so I can hurt them, kill them.
No.
Tears.
Pills.
Hurt?
Hell yes.
A sip, a swallow.
Silence.
Won't let them win.
68
"Please... don't let them..."
Fuck. Another one.
The nightmares had started maybe an hour after Caitlin had fallen asleep and this was the third time tonight. Hell, it wasn't even midnight yet.
"I'm here. I won't let them hurt you," I murmured. I smoothed my pyjamas, making sure they covered as much of me as possible. I had to be so careful. If it weren't for Caitlin, I wouldn't even own pyjamas.
She owned very little in the way of clothing, now – in the end, I'd had to bag up all her ruined clothes before putting them in the rubbish bin. Caitlin's tears had been more than I could take. Her wardrobe was as bare as one in a hotel room – no, more than that. Even hotel wardrobes had bathrobes. Hers was sliced into so many pieces I'd had to vacuum some of them up.
I moved closer to Caitlin, every movement controlled as I pulled her into a hug. "It's okay. They're not here. It's over now, just a dream..."
I felt her relax. "Nathan?"
"That's right. Just us here, no one else. You're safe at home." I loosened my hold on her.
"I... they... ."
"I know. Just a dream. It's okay." I took a breath and let it out slowly as I let go of her. "Try to get back to sleep, okay?"
"Okay..." The bed springs crunched lightly as they compressed under her shifting weight.
I sighed and shifted so my head was back on my own pillow. The clock read 11:46. I wondered how long it would be before the next nightmare as I slid into sleep.
"Let me go, you bastard!"
1:03. Oh, shit, it was this one. Don't touch her 'til she's awake.
"No one but you and I here, angel. No one's got you. They can't hurt you any more." I spoke at normal volume, hoping to wake her with only my voice. I didn't want her clawing at my face again.
"I said, let me go, loser!" Her voice rose.
Fuck. The neighbours were going to hear this one if I didn't wake her up soon.
I touched her shoulder lightly. "Caitlin, it's Nathan. You're safe. I swear, you're safe..."
She turned on me and I felt her nails rake my cheek as I pulled away too slowly. I caught her hands in mine, as carefully as I could. She dug her nails into my palm.
"Let me go," she insisted, trying to pull her hands out of my grasp.
"Wake up, angel. No one's hurting you – least of all me. Come on, you know who I am..." I shifted away from her, letting go of her hands. "Just another nightmare, Caitlin." My heart ached for her as I touched my hand to my cheek, relieved to find I wasn't bleeding, though that also meant she wasn't strong enough yet. Almost...
A gasp and a sob. "Nathan? Please..."
Thank God. I moved quickly to her side again and held out my arms to her. She burrowed her face into the buttons on my chest and I felt the thin cotton soak through with her tears.
"Wouldn't help me. So much pain and no help... bastard." I heard the words that were muffled by my pyjamas.
I sighed in relief. "I'm here now and I'm helping you. No one's going to hurt you again, I swear. Definitely not her."
Caitlin pulled away, sniffling. She stretched out, resting her head on her pillow again. "Sorry. Thanks, Nathan."
I was slower to relax back into repose. My cheek stung, but my eyes still closed.
"Who do you think you are?" Her angry voice woke me again. I prayed that the dream wouldn't go any further.
"Took my clothes..." she wailed.
Fuck. I opened my eyes. 2:14. Here we go again. No sleep for the wicked, or the rest of us, either.
69
"Hello?" Caitlin's voice said softly behind the curtain.
"I'm here," I answered from the chair outside, beside a rack of stringy satin and lace. If I didn't look too closely at the lingerie beside me, didn't think about how little Caitlin was wearing and firmly focussed on the memory of her broken fingers covered in blood on the beach, I could almost keep it together.
She stuck her head out, clutching at the curtain so it didn't reveal anything I really didn't need to see, except her bare shoulder. "Is the shop assistant there? I need help and I don't know how much longer I can stand up..." She swallowed, looking worried. The dark circles under her eyes only served to make them look bigger and sadder.
I crossed to the entrance of the change rooms and looked. The music over the shop speakers was a lot louder out here, but it didn't improve the perky pop song any. The teenage sales assistant was busy with a couple of giggling teenage customers, so she ignored my frantic waving. Maybe she just didn't hear me over the loud music. I headed back in to Caitlin.
Grabbing the chair I'd been sitting in, I said, "She's busy. I can help, if you like." I held out the chair, so its outline took shape through the curtain. "First, you should sit down." I slid it through the gap, closing my eyes until I felt her take the chair from me.
"Thank you," Caitlin replied. She took a deep breath, like she needed to say more. "But... I still need help with fastening things," she finis
hed in a rush.
Fuck. "I'll go see if she's free," I told her as I headed for the entrance again. The giggly girls continued to ignore me. I returned. "Sorry, angel, she's not. Can I help?"
I could hear her breathing, but she didn't reply for a few slow breaths. "You remember how you helped me get dressed this morning?"
I laughed. "Of course, angel. I'll close my eyes or keep my eyes down the whole time. Don't you worry." Think horrible thoughts. Twisted, broken fingers. The gunshot wound in her leg, bleeding onto the road. Keep a blank face.
I slipped behind the change room curtain, my eyes on the grey carpet. A quick glance up told me Caitlin was sitting sideways in the chair, resting her arm on the back of it, so she had her back to me. As long as I stayed behind her, I might manage not to stare at anything she didn't want me to see. Of course, I wasn't counting on the surrounding mirrors, making sure even the slightest glance gave me a panoramic view.
She held out the back of her bra. I sighed and started on those little hooks. One, then the other one... oh, shit, now the first one again... I hated these bloody... Done.
I risked a glance up. Strawberry-red satin lifting a lovely cleavage. I closed my eyes. Not strawberries. Think of blood.
"Nathan, could you..." I opened my eyes. I didn't have to – I could undo her bra with my eyes closed. I kept my eyes on her back while she slipped the red one off and pulled something black on instead.
Smooth skin, marred only slightly by the pink and white patches where her ulcers had been. Healing rapidly, she'd already recovered so much. Far from the shadow of herself that I'd seen stretched out on the sand, she was every bit as real and vibrant as the angel I saw tripping down the Terrace. I wanted to...
"Nathan?"
Black hooks on black satin. I tried to focus on that bit, not the curve of black lace tempting me in the mirror. Think of her screaming in the dark, when there was nothing, NOTHING I could do to calm her down. I could feel my face wincing at the memory.
"Please..."
Pink and patterned, the swell of skin above them like the top of a tight-fitting corset. Pink like the scars on her ankles, where I'd had to peel the bloodied rope away...
Black and white stripes, cutting into her flesh like a knife blade about to pierce the skin...
Blood-red with black edging, like an encrustation of fresh and dried blood on her skin as she lay barely conscious on the sand...
Plain black satin, as dark as the inside of a nightmare when I couldn't stop her from screaming...
White satin, pure and pale like her face had been on the beach, when I'd thought she was dead...
"Can I help you with anything?" the salesgirl asked behind me, treading on my foot as it stuck out behind the curtain.
"Oh, thank God!" I blurted out as relief rushed over me. I wouldn't have to conjure up any more horrible memories of Caitlin's injuries to stop myself thinking about her in her underwear.
A sharp intake of breath and I dared to open my eyes. Caitlin's reflection stared at me, looking shocked and hurt. Instead of a new bra, she wore a silky little black nightdress and she looked nothing short of incredible. It hurt to look at her – close enough to touch and yet untouchable.
"Miss, are you okay in there?" the salesgirl asked, sticking her head inside the curtain. She squinted suspiciously at me, kneeling behind Caitlin.
"Fine," Caitlin said absently, whisking a tear off her cheek before the girl saw it. She reached for the hangers, laden with what she'd tried on. "I'll take these ones, with the matching knickers, all in small." She split the pile and handed a small stack to her, the strawberry-red one on top. "And you can keep these." The larger pile went to the girl's other hand. The girl didn't move, still gaping at me. "He's helping me," Caitlin said angrily. "Now let me get changed into my clothes."
The salesgirl opened her mouth like a flustered fish as she backed out and left.
Good riddance.
I looked at Caitlin, who gazed pointedly back at me. I closed my eyes and heard the rustle of satin as she took the nightdress off.
"You looked beautiful in that one," I said suddenly, feeling like I had to say something.
Caitlin didn't say anything until she needed my help. "One last bra, please, Nathan."
I fastened it fairly quickly this time – I was getting the hang of those bloody hooks. Deep purple satin, the colour of a blossoming bruise... Fuck.
Satin draped over her arm, Caitlin left the change room as soon as she was dressed, while I struggled to my feet and stumbled along behind her. She laid the nightdress on the counter. "This one, too."
I wanted to apologise. I wanted to explain. Most of all, I wanted to see her wear any of her new purchases without having to dredge up horrific thoughts. I wondered if there'd ever be a day I could think about her body without imagining blood.
I didn't have a hope in hell.
70
My phone vibrated, not quite silent. The screen glowed brighter than anything else I could see, for it was almost dark. Caitlin wasn't within earshot, so I answered it.
Navid's voice was panicked. "They're almost there – just coming into sight of her house. It's too late to get her out and it's now or never – get her hidden. Our team are still on their way. Get geared up and stick your earpiece in, now."
"As soon as Caitlin's safe," I replied, my heart plummeting at the thought that she was in danger.
"Just don't waste time. They're coming and backup won't be here in time to stop them from reaching you."
"How many?" I asked urgently.
"Three men," came the answer. "No sign of her."
Shit. "I'll take care of it. Let them in. Talk to you soon." I hung up.
I knew she was in the toilet, but I couldn't wait. Perhaps this was the best place to hide her and she'd be safe. I had a million thoughts running through my mind, but I couldn't focus when I considered the possibility that she might not survive. I couldn't think it and I didn't want to.
I heard the sound of cascading water and burst in, almost knocking her down with the door. She looked stunned as she tried to regain her balance, but I shoved my body up against hers, pinning her to the wall, as I kicked the door shut behind me.
My shirt slid over warm black satin with a froth of white lace at the top, highlighting the cleavage it made no attempt to hide. Oh God, she was wearing the new little nightdress. I dragged my eyes from her lace to her face.
A face full of raw terror and panic that I'd do anything to wipe clean. Her eyes didn't leave mine before she whispered imploringly, "Nathan, please... don't hurt me," as Caitlin closed her eyes. Surrendering. NO!
Painfully, I was reminded of her lying on the beach and that moment when I'd thought she was dead.
My heart contracted in my chest, aching for her, as I thought about how lost I'd be if anyone hurt her. If I lost her tonight. I tried to reassure her. "It's okay. You're safe," I lied through my teeth, knowing she didn't believe me.
I could feel her heart beating fast under my hand, reminding me that she was still alive. "I'm not going to hurt you," I murmured. Fuck. LET THEM hurt you. Not going to let THEM hurt you... Surely she knew by now that I'd never hurt her!
Her eyes stayed closed. She opened her mouth to draw a deep, shaky breath.
I moved almost by instinct. There was no thought. I just looked at her face, her lips, her closed eyes... and touched my lips to hers.
She stiffened and her eyes flew open. She just stared at me, her eyes filled with hurt and betrayal, as if she didn't know me, as well she might. Like I reminded her of them.
I broke away from her. "I'm sorry..."
"Chris..." she breathed, confirming my fears.
She brought her knee up between my legs as hard as she could. "You prick," she hissed in my ear as I doubled over. "You did that before and you hoped I wouldn't remember."
She tried to shove past me, but even in my haze of pain I remembered why I'd cornered her in here in the first place. She's getting stronge
r, I realised. If I could keep her alive past tonight, she'd recover. My heart leaped at the thought.
"I need you to stay here. The security guard's told me there are people outside your house and I need you to hide in here, where no one will guess you are. Just until the police arrive." I pushed her into the corner, pressing her shoulders toward the floor.
Her cheek pressed against the trickling cistern, her dry eyes were both furious and terrified as she looked up at me. "You can't leave me here alone – give me something to defend myself with or stay here with me!" Her hands were curled into fists and so were her bare toes, she was so angry.
I wavered, wanting to stay.
NO – don't think of that night on the beach. Concentrate on keeping her alive. Struggling to keep my focus, I crouched in front of her. "I can't. They might have seen me come in here. If I stay here and they come into the house before the police arrive, this is the first place they'll look, because they know I'll be here. Then they'll find you, too."
She bit her lip and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, her eyes held mine. No longer terrified, she'd harnessed the fury. FUCK. "Make sure you kill them all," she told me through gritted teeth. "None of the people who hurt me deserves to live."
I nodded once.
It felt like forever, but barely a minute had passed, the time it took for the cistern to fill, ready to flush again.
I had to get out of there to keep her safe. I opened the door and pretended to zip up my fly as I shut the door behind me. I ran for her bedroom, praying I'd have time to get my vest on and some extra clips for my standard issue semi-automatic before they arrived.
The rip of Velcro as I fastened the vest, as fast as I could. Spare clips shoved in every available pocket. A loaded gun in my hands.
Please, just let her survive 'til tomorrow.
Would I? I wondered as I fumbled to fit the earpiece in place.
"Time's up," said a voice in my ear.
I jumped a mile, before I realised I was alone. The voice was Navid's.
"Coming through the kitchen now. Ready?"
Nightmares of Caitlin Lockyer (Nightmares Trilogy) Page 15
