by J. L. McCoy
At the word addict, her head shot up and she frowned deeply at me, obviously pissed. “I’m not a fucking drug addict, Dean. I hate drugs. Those bloodsucking bastards were banging my veins with that shit from the time they took me. I didn’t have a damn choice in the matter either. Apparently, they like it when their victims can’t fight back.”
My eyebrows raised as her words sank in. This kid had gone through way more than I thought and I instantly felt bad for accusing her. “Fuck, Nikki,” I sighed apologetically, my eyes instantly softening. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
“Yeah, well…whatever,” she pursed her lips as she stood up and crossed her arms under her breasts. “You didn’t know and I sure as fuck don’t plan on telling anyone else.” Her embarrassment was evident in the immediate color that flushed to her cheeks and I felt doubly bad for assuming the worst about her.
She stared at me as an uncomfortable, silent few seconds passed before she dropped her arms and took a deep breath. “My mom…she was a junkie, okay? Growing up, I saw a lot of bad shit. She used to get sick in the mornings if she didn’t get her fix, so I’m familiar with the symptoms.”
She held out her right hand between us and I watched sadly as it trembled uncontrollably. “It’ll go away. I’ve watched my mom try and get clean more times than I can count. If it was a short binge, detox only lasted a few days.”
“Is your mom clean now?” I asked quietly, looking down into her frustrated eyes. The thought of the things she’d probably seen and lived through made me incredibly sad for her. No one deserved to be raised like that.
“My mom is dead,” she answered, her eyes steely, before sidestepping me and walking out of the bathroom.
Holy shit. Open mouth, insert foot. Today was not off to a very good start for us.
“I brought you a little something to eat,” I changed the subject as I turned and followed her.
She headed straight for the orange juice, picked it up with a shaky hand, and downed it in one fell swoop. “Thanks,” she said with an uncertain smile, setting the glass back down. “I think I needed that.”
The doorbell rang just then and our heads both turned to her doorway. “Uh, that’ll be the girls,” I said as I looked over at her again. “They’re here to bring you some clothes.”
“I have clothes at home, Dean,” she shook her head and sighed, a bit frustrated. “I don’t need new ones.”
“Just come say hi, would you?” I smiled, tilting my head toward the door. “They’re anxious to meet you.”
I watched as she grimaced and looked down at the dingy t-shirt and sweats she was wearing. “I look like shit,” she frowned.
No matter what, Nikki would never look like shit. She could be covered head to toe in cow manure and I’d still think she was one of the prettiest girls in Texas. “You’re beautiful, Nik,” I said seriously, looking into her uncertain eyes, then turned and walked out.
“Good afternoon, sir,” DeeDee chirped sunnily as I opened the front door.
“Afternoon, girls,” I smiled and stepped back to allow the three women to enter. They paraded past me, arms full of bags, and I nodded a greeting to Holly and Jojo as well.
“Zephyr’s a few minutes behind us. Where’s the new girl?” DeeDee questioned, coming to a stop in the living room and looking around.
“Here,” I heard Nikki say softly from the hallway as she stepped out of the shadows. She looked mildly uncomfortable and afraid.
DeeDee, Holly, and Jojo gave her a quick once over before introducing themselves to her. Nikki waved a hand to them and resumed her uncertain stance as she wrapped her arms around herself.
“No need to be shy,” Jojo chuckled, walking over to her and grabbing her hand, leading her over to the couch. I took a silent seat at the bar and watched them work their magic with her.
Zee walked in a few minutes later and took the barstool beside me. “How’s she doing?” he asked, taking in the scene before us.
The girls had emptied the bags of clothes onto the coffee table and were holding them up to Nikki, proudly showing off the haul. “She’s tough, but those vamps really did a number on her,” I answered quietly. “Fucking savages.”
“She looks a little better today,” he remarked as he watched the girls interact. I could tell Nikki was still a little uncertain about them, but the tension in her shoulders slowly ebbed as they fawned over her.
“It’s a fucking miracle,” I frowned, glancing over at him. “How is everyone? Any injuries from last night?”
“A few,” he sighed. “Sayer’s got a cracked rib and Cage lost a finger. Other than that, it’s just bumps and bruises. Skye and Jameson healed all the critical stuff.”
“How’s Cage taking the injury?”
Zee gazed over at me as a crooked smile lit his face. “It wasn’t his middle finger, so he’s all good.”
“Fucking Cage,” I chuckled, shaking my head.
The shrill call of my ringtone cut off our conversation and I dug into my back pocket to answer it. “Yeah?”
“Hey,” came a tired reply and I glanced at the caller I.D. It was Skye.
Smiling, I put it to my ear again. “What’s going on, toots?”
“Not much, just filling in at Drop Kick’s again. How’s Nikki?”
Sighing, I got up from my chair and retreated to the backyard for privacy. I didn’t want Nikki to know I was talking to Skye, less it upset her. “She’s been better, but she’s hanging in there. Rough morning.”
“What happened?” she asked softly, concern heavy in her voice.
I knew without a doubt that Skye loved this girl with all her heart and I didn’t want to distress her, but some things needed to be revealed. “They drugged her, did you know that?”
“I had my suspicions,” she sighed. “How bad is it?”
“Heroin…straight to the vein.”
“Those motherfuckers!” she hissed. “If they weren’t already dead…”
“I’d beat you to it,” I answered, serious as a heart attack. “She’s showing signs of withdrawal, vomiting and the junkie jitters.”
“Jesus,” she whispered, horrified. “This is going to fuck her up, Dean. Her mom—”
“I already know,” I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “She told me after I accused her of using.”
Skye was quiet for a time as she composed herself. “I could so fucking strangle you right now,” she hissed tightly.
“I didn’t know, babe,” I growled into the phone, angry at myself. “If I had, I’d have never said that shit to her.”
“Don’t bring it up again. She worked hard her entire life not to turn out like her mom,” she whispered and then paused. “Listen. Think we could meet up later? I get off in an hour. Dan’s sending me home early today. Apparently, I’m not doing them much good. I didn’t sleep for shit last night.”
“Of course we can meet. Want to swing by my bar?”
“See you there, hon.”
Walking back into the house, I sighed as I took a seat on the stool beside Zephyr.
“Was that her?” he whispered discreetly to me, his eyes on the girls. He was being careful not to use Skye’s name around Nikki, having witnessed their fight last night.
“Yeah. I’m meeting her at the bar in an hour. Think you can watch Nikki and the girls for a few? I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“You got it boss.”
Standing back up again, I cleared my throat and got Nikki’s attention. “I’ve got to run by my bar for a few hours, okay?” The fear in her eyes was palpable, so I gently laid a hand on her shoulder and gave her a smile. “You’re in wonderful hands here, toots. You’ll be completely safe. These girls are good people, as you’ll soon learn for yourself. I’ll only be gone for a bit, and if you need me for any reason, tell Zephyr to call me and I’ll come straight back.”
Nikki took a deep breath and slowly nodded her head. She was being incredibly brave and it made me proud of her. I knew she didn’t kno
w my pack, but she was trusting my judgment, and learning to trust anyone at this point was a step in the right direction for her healing process.
“I’ll see you soon, babe,” I said seriously as I met the aqua pools of her eyes.
She gifted me with a tentative smile as I gave her shoulder one last squeeze.
Grabbing my keys, I walked out the front door and climbed into Duke, my vintage ’71 Dodge Charger 500.
Chapter Four
Nikki
“Thank you,” I said, fingering the silky fabric of my new nightgown, “but you really didn’t have to go to all this trouble for me.”
“Nonsense,” Holly smiled brightly as she put her hands on her curvy hips. “I love to shop, so any excuse to do it, I’m in heaven.”
I gazed up at Holly under my lashes and tried to relax as much as I could. I didn’t know these people from Adam and having them fuss over me was a little overwhelming.
“Check out this darling skirt we found!” Jojo chirped as she jumped up and emptied yet another overflowing bag onto the already crowded coffee table. “It’s black lace.”
I tried my best to seem interested in what they brought me. After all, it was a nice gesture from them, but I preferred the clothes I already owned; not saying the ones they brought me were ugly, quite the opposite in fact, but I favored my usual. “That’s really pretty,” I nodded, leaning forward to get a better look.
“Well, why don’t you pick something out and get changed,” DeeDee said. “Although those sweats look comfortable, they just aren’t you.”
Shuffling through the pile, I found a pair of black skinny jeans and a simple black skull-patterned tank top. After grabbing undergarments, I went into the room I was staying in to change. I was pleasantly surprised how the clothes were a perfect fit, even more impressed to see how the bra and matching panties fit like a glove as well. After finger brushing my hair and fixing my bangs, I gave myself a final once over and rejoined them.
“There,” DeeDee smiled brightly as I walked back into the living room, “much better.”
“Wow, you are pretty,” Holly commented with raised eyebrows, taking me in head to toe. “I wasn’t sure what you were working with under all those frumpy clothes, but Zephyr was right. You’re stacked, girl.”
I slid hesitant eyes to the man watching us from the breakfast bar before quickly looking away. I didn’t quite know how to take her comment, so I stayed quiet.
“Did the bra fit all right?” Jojo questioned in a discrete whisper as she leaned closer to me.
“Yeah,” I nodded, looking down at my chest. “How did you figure out my size?”
“We’ve had a bit of practice with this sort of thing.” Not understanding what she meant, I gave her a questioning look and she elaborated. “Dean…sort of…rescues the needy from time to time.”
My brow furrowed, not understanding what she meant. Holly threw her thumb to the door. “We need some girl time, Zeph. Why don’t you go out front and watch the grass grow or something.”
Zephyr chuckled, obviously taking the hint, as he got up off the chair and walked out the front door.
“We don’t like to talk about these things in front of the guys,” Holly said seriously as she took a seat beside me.
“What did you mean when you said Dean rescues the needy?” I asked, looking over at her.
“Well,” Jojo sighed as she sat down on the ottoman in front of me. “It’s not a fun story. Are you sure you want to hear it?”
“Well…yeah,” I nodded my head, seeing as how it definitely pertained to me. I wanted to know what they meant.
“Dean is a good alpha,” DeeDee said seriously, “the best I’ve ever met actually. Sadly, not all alphas are created equally. Some are downright deranged.”
“Evil bastards,” Holly shuttered, a dark look crossing her eyes. “Our last alpha, leader of the pack we were born into, was a sick man...raised by an even sicker one.”
“To tell this story, we need to give you some background information about our kind,” Jojo said, “seeing as how you’re human and all.”
The air in the room instantly felt heavier and I glanced around at the women. The looks on their faces told me that what they were about to tell me, I probably wouldn’t like.
“In the werewolf community, females are a pretty hot commodity,” Jojo began. “Male births outnumber female eleven to one. Out of the rare female born, few are actually strong enough to survive childhood. If they live, when a female reaches sixteen years old, she’s able to shift for the first time, thus marking her as an adult.”
The women were silent for a time before Holly resumed their story. “In our former pack, women were not seen as equals. We were basically treated as broodmares and slaves. Unmated women had it worst of all. Our alpha would pass us around to whoever wanted us in hopes that we would bear the pack more children.”
“You mean…” I gasped at her, my brow furrowed. Was she saying what I thought she was saying?
“We were raped,” DeeDee interjected, her eyes far away. “Daily.”
“For years,” Jojo sighed as her arms moved to hug herself.
“Oh, my God,” I shook my head, disgusted. These women had endured far worse at the hands of others than I had. I’d had five days in hell, but these women had years. “How did you get away?”
“We did the only thing we could do,” Holly said, taking a deep breath. “We ran the first chance we got.”
“It wasn’t easy leaving our children behind, but we were never permitted to raise them anyway,” Jojo whispered sadly. “Our sons are brought up by their fathers. I’m just thankful I never had a girl.”
“Me too,” DeeDee nodded her head, the same sadness painting her face.
“Why didn’t you want a daughter?” I questioned.
The women looked at each other before DeeDee answered for them all. “Because they would have suffered the same fate as we had.”
“After we escaped, we headed straight for the nearest pack. Lucky for us, it was Dean’s,” Holly continued.
“How did you know he wouldn’t hurt you like your last alpha did?” I asked. “How did you know he wouldn’t turn around and give you back? I’d be too afraid.”
“Werewolves need other werewolves,” Jojo answered with a shrug. “It’s a pack thing, so I don’t expect you to fully understand, but we really had no choice. When we left, we hoped on everything we had that the next alpha we found was nothing like our former.”
“We were incredibly lucky we found Dean and the Kaxaw pack,” Holly smiled. “They welcomed us with open arms and treated us like family from the start. Not all alphas are as crazy as Maxwell, but they’re more common than you think. Dean is one of the rare ones, the good ones. He’s taken care of us since the day we got here.”
“How long have you been with their pack?” I asked, curious.
“Almost a year,” DeeDee answered. “It was a tough road for us at first, but we’ve come a long way. We’re not afraid of our own shadow anymore.”
“Jojo is even dating Primo,” Holly smiled widely, looking over at her friend.
I watched them interact with each other and took in their relaxed demeanor. They conversed easily and seemed genuinely happy and at ease. I couldn’t understand it. How had they gotten over all the horrible things that had been done to them? How could they forget the rapes? How could they move on so easily with their lives? I honestly couldn’t ever see myself getting over the horrors that were inflicted upon me. “How?” I blurted out involuntarily, my brow furrowed in disgust.
They looked over at me, surprised at my outburst, before Jojo placed a comforting hand on my knee. “It won’t always feel like this, Nikki. The pain, the anger you have…it dulls after a while. You’ll never be able to forget, but you’ll be able to go on. It gets better.”
I gasped as I leaned back into the couch, shocked that they knew my secret.
“Dean told us a little about you this morning,” Holly said soothing
ly. “He didn’t give us specifics, but we read between the lines. He told us you were a lot like us and that could only mean one thing.”
I looked down at my hands and fought a wave of tears as they blurred my vision. I was ashamed of what had happened to me and embarrassed that others knew about it. My worst fear was of being judged and looked down upon because of the rape.
“You have nothing to be ashamed about,” DeeDee said fiercely, her face serious. “Sometimes our choices are taken away from us and horrible things happen. But what defines us as people, as women, is how we go on. You can curl up, let it eat away at you, or you can stand up, square your shoulders, and keep on living. The day I left, I told myself that I wasn’t going to be their victim anymore. I actively chose not to wallow in my memories. I repeated it daily, like a mantra, until I began to believe it. One day, you’ll look back on your experience and it won’t hurt so much. You’ve got a long road to walk, but at the end of it, you’ll see how much it strengthened you as a person.”
“I can’t see myself ever getting over this,” I whispered, looking down at the bite marks on my arms. “What they did to me…I’m really messed up.”
“Holly here wasn’t able to be in the same room with a man for almost two months after we arrived,” DeeDee confided. “As bad as your experience was, at least you are handling it better than we did.”
“Yeah,” Holly nodded, “I was terrified of the opposite sex. But once I got to know the men in Kaxaw, I realized how kind and caring they all were. They were very understanding and patient with us. The ladies were phenomenal, too. They took us under their wing and nurtured us back whole. They’re a really great bunch of people.”
“Well, most of them,” Jojo added before leaning closer to me and whispering softly. “Roxy is a real bitch. She’s been vying for the spot as Dean’s mate and pretty much hates the rest of the females in the pack. It makes for some interesting full moons.”
I don’t know why, but that bothered me a bit. I didn’t much like the idea of another woman wanting Dean. That should have been the least of my worries, considering what I’d just been through, but Dean was my rock in this situation and the only person I trusted at the moment. He meant a lot to me already. “Does he like her?” I asked, hoping they didn’t see through me.
