by Lilly James
“Maybe just today.” I climbed in and immediately asked him if he went everywhere with Parks.
“Yes, ma’am. I do.”
Ma’am? I chucked. “I feel privileged to be called ma’am.”
“It’s my way of being polite, ma’am.”
“Where are you from?”
“I’m from Alabama, ma’am.”
I chuckled again. “Could you please call me Evey?”
“Sure thing, Evey.”
“So where is Parks from?”
He looked into his rear-view mirror at me and smiled. “I have to withhold information about Mr. Parks, Evey. Forgive me.”
“Sure.” I smiled but was really quite pissed. Pissed I asked a question about Parks and pissed because I didn’t get the answer.
I jumped out of the car when we got to my office building, almost stumbling as I caught my heel around my stupid handbag straps. “Thank you,” I shouted to Cleaver as I pulled myself together and ran into the building.
Clarke glanced over his computer screen with a pronounced raised brow at my lateness, but I ignored him and quickly scanned the room, then sagged with relief when I saw no Carla. I was fifteen minutes late. Not too bad. That was until I heard the wearying voice of Bitch-Features.
“Evey, my office. Now.”
When I turned my head, Carla was standing outside her office. Her mahogany bob shook as she pointed a sharp, red fingernail in the direction of her door. I grunted under my breath and pursed my lips as she twirled on her stiletto and walked into her office. I quickly took my bag over to my desk.
“Good luck,” Clarke whispered.
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help smirking, which caused him to tell me to wipe it away. I walked into Carla’s office gingerly and reminded myself not to get carried away with my mouth. She was my boss, she paid my bills; there was no excuse for violence.
I glanced up as I closed the door behind me and came into eye contact with Parks. He was sitting behind the desk, oozing his usual grace, and dressed in a dark blue suit, white shirt, and a tie that was a lighter shade of blue. He looked dangerously sexy, but his green eyes looked withdrawn. It was like he was looking straight through me. Jesus, I was only fifteen minutes late. What was the big deal?
“Now.” Carla’s tone took my focus from Parks. She stood beside him, thinking she was the fucking Queen Elizabeth. She crossed her arms slowly as she spoke, and I watched her rhythmically tap her fingers on her bicep. “This is the fourth time you have been late since starting at this company, Evey. As you know, and as Mr. Parks here will remind you, we do not tolerate tardiness. I am utilizing a verbal warning, and it will shortly be followed by a written warning. The warning will outline my expectations of my employees and the consequences for excessive lateness.”
Excessive lateness? Was four times excessive? I sang a song in my head to try and calm myself down. I despised people who thought they were above everybody else. We all shit the same, don’t we?
“Do you understand?” she asked, her lips curling into a smirk. She was trying to belittle me in front of Parks and loving every second of it. Especially because it meant showing off her authoritative side in front of a man she desperately wanted to fuck.
“Yes,” I hissed, forgetting the song I was singing in my head and thinking about my hand across her face.
“Good,” she sang. “You can leave now.” She shooed me away with her fingertips like she always did. I looked down at them in repugnance and thought of breaking the fuckers until Parks spoke for the first time, standing from his desk.
“Miss Hammond, please leave us. I would like to have a private word with Evelyn.”
She turned to him open-mouthed, looking like she’d been slapped with a fish. When she didn’t budge, he shooed her away just like she had done to me. I snorted and focused on my shoes to try and contain myself.
“Go on,” he urged.
“Right.” And off she trotted, leaving us alone.
When the door closed behind her, I focused my attention on Parks. “You’re going to tell me how my lateness is a burden to your company now, are you?”
He leaned against the desk and placed his hands in his pockets like he always did. His eyes remained introverted, his features impassive. “It isn’t a burden to me. However, Clarke depends on you. Think of him next time you decide not to attend work on time.”
I crossed my arms, narrowing my eyes at him, getting quite pissed and confused at how cold he was acting. “Okay, I accept that. So why do you want a private word? Because I know it isn’t about my punctuality.”
He pushed his backside up from the desk and walked around it. There, he pulled out a drawer on the desk and reached inside, then presented me with a file.
“Last night, Evelyn, I reread my firm’s résumés.” The way his hard gaze lingered, I knew he was going somewhere with this. “I found you have no previous experience in secretarial work or law admission.”
I shrugged incautiously, trying to ignore my heart sinking at what I thought he was about to say. “I never said I did.”
His eyes narrowed. I knew they weren’t darkening over my lack of skills. He was angry about how I had got the job in the first place. I knew it.
He paced behind the desk, flicking through the file. “I also looked into why my previous executive director, Mr. Lowry, was fired.”
My heart rate was quickening, and my eyes were wide as I waited, watching him like he was a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.
“It was gross misconduct,” I breathed.
He closed the file with a snap, and the low rumble in his chest told me he wasn’t messing around.
“I know that part, Evelyn. So are you going to tell me how you got the job? No skills, no qualifications, yet you get into one of the greatest law firms in London? The second best internationally?”
“I…” I hated the way he was looking through me even as I tried to ignore that his behaviour hurt. I was also trying to think of my defence strategy, but he didn’t give me the time.
He pressed his palms on the desk and leaned forwards. “I’ll remind you, shall I? The reason you got the job, Evelyn, is because you fucked the boss.” He spat the last words at me like I was some sort of whore and he couldn’t stand the sight of me.
“It…it wasn’t like that.” I had no idea why I was stammering. Was it because I was so scared of losing my stable job, the one thing that got me on a narrow path, or because of the way Parks was looking at me? What was he thinking when he found out about one of my many dirty secrets? And more to the point, why did I care?
He tilted his head back, looking dumbfounded, and let out an insulting laugh. “Then what was it like? Because I’m failing to understand. No, wait, I do understand. You fucked him to get the job. He got fired because he let slip he was fucking an employee but then kept his mouth shut about you. Why? Did he love you?”
“No…I don’t know, and neither do I care.”
He clenched his jaw and pushed off the desk when I mentioned Lowry might have loved me. “Because you don’t care about anyone, Evelyn.”
I shook my head. I wasn’t upset, I was more surprised at his attitude. “That’s not true.”
Parks ignored me and continued to speak callously. “You know, I should be firing you the same as Lowry was. I should be reprimanding Carla for not looking into this and—”
“There’s no need for that.” I was trying to save myself, so I had to act with grace. “I know your firm has reputation to keep, Mr. Parks, but I don’t know how this got out. He said he would make sure it wouldn’t.” At the time, I’d told him I wouldn’t have cared if it did. Now, seeing how furious Parks was, and how he was looking at me in a completely different way, my past remark seemed to be biting me in the arse.
He smirked wryly. “Oh, he did make sure the woman he was fucking wouldn’t be exposed. He only told me because I had him by the balls.”
I blinked and felt my heart twist. “Excuse me?”
/> He turned to look out the windows at the sunshine. His tone was almost proud as he clasped his hands behind his back and rolled back on his heels. “I paid him a visit. I wanted to know personally why one of my top executives had been fired. I had a feeling which one of you he was fucking. After all”—he faced me—”it wouldn’t have been Patricia, would it?”
I gasped. “This isn’t about your precious company reputation. You just couldn’t stand the fact I fucked another man.”
His dark features didn’t relax and neither did he deny it. “That’s beside the fucking point.”
Wow. My body recoiled at his words. He had never cursed at me or spoke harshly. He didn’t even seem to notice my alarmed response to his sudden mood change. “It’s exactly the point. The men I slept with in the past are my business and mine only. It has nothing to do with you.”
He walked towards me, fast and infuriated. “Yes, it does,” he spoke quickly, “because I can’t stand the idea of any other man having his dirty hands all over you. It also begs the question…”
I swallowed hard. “Which is?”
He ran his gaze over my body quickly in a dirty glance. “You say you don’t have feelings for men, but you’ve slept with most of London.”
I gasped, stunned at his audacity, and without hesitation I slapped him across his face. “How fucking dare you,” I snarled. “You know fuck all about me.”
He opened his eyes wide. The cold shield he’d put up seemed to have fallen with the impact of my slap. “Shit, Evelyn. I didn’t mean that. Forgive me.”
I smacked his hands away as he tried to pull me into his arms. I was hurt. Of course I was. But I wouldn’t show it, and neither would I let him near me.
“Yes, you did. I bet you’ve slept with the whole of America, but do you see me insulting you because of it?”
He turned his back on me and threw his arms up in the air. “Because you have no sense of emotion, Evelyn. You show traces but never admit your feelings.”
I swallowed down the pesky lump in my throat and glared at him. “Well, like you just said, I have none. You know what, go ahead and fire me. You’re right about me not having any qualifications. The truth is, I’m incapable of achievements. I can’t do anything right and have always been told so. So if you think that telling me I have no business working in your top law firm is a shock to me, then you’re wrong. I have been put down my whole life, so it doesn’t bother me if you want to do it too, Parks. I can deal with it, like I always have. So throw at me what you will, call me names if you like, because after all, I’m the girl with the thick skin that can cope with it. I’m the girl with no feelings, so what does it matter if I get called names and get belittled? You know what, I’ll leave if it’s best.” My voice was croaking and low, but I wouldn’t cry. I couldn’t.
His eyes mellowed, filling up with empathy. What I had admitted struck a nerve. “Evelyn, I can’t stand that you’re demeaning yourself. There is nothing unworthy about you. Please, please forgive me for what I just said.”
“Nothing?” I laughed. “You’re a hypocrite. You just told me I had no skills and no right to work here. You demoralized me about fucking an ex manager and then told me I’d probably fucked the whole of London. Now tell me how you think I’m worthy?”
He rushed to my side to take hold of my hands, ignoring my brush-off. “I didn’t mean any of that, Evelyn. I was mad. Mad at you for sleeping with a man like Lowry when you deny me. Mad at the idea of another man using you as some sex toy.”
I laughed at how he was trying to make me look innocent and how much he was still a hypocrite. “Isn’t that what you’ve done?”
His head recoiled, and he let my hands slip out of his. “What?”
“You fucked me last night and then left. Is that not using me?”
He wouldn’t listen to me accusing him of such things and hated that I did. “You’re wrong. That was punishment, Evelyn. You were bad, and bad behaviour requires discipline. I have told you I need discipline. I need control, and that’s what last night was. You think I just fucked you and never thought about it afterwards? Do you realise how much I actually desire you, Evelyn? Do you realise how good it felt to be inside you yesterday? I told you I wouldn’t speak during fucking you because it was your punishment, but if it wasn’t, I would have told you that being deep inside your sweet body was like nothing I have experienced before, and I need more of it. I need more of you.”
I regained composure after listening to his declaration, because I couldn’t get sucked into it. It was all for show. He didn’t really need me. A man like Parks didn’t need anything.
“You can’t have more.” I spoke quietly as it didn’t matter if I shouted it. He still wouldn’t understand.
His jaw tightened in clear loathing of my disobedience. “And why is that?”
I turned the tables on him because I wasn’t going into me. “Why is it you need discipline?”
He blinked at my sudden question and straightened out his light blue tie. “I just do. No explanation is needed.”
Was he as guarded as I was? I knew the look of defence, because I adopted it myself. I also knew he wasn’t going to start telling me what “Wade’s world” included. So I changed the subject.
“So am I fired?”
He sagged against the desk. “No. But I will make sure Lowry never steps foot in another law firm again.”
I felt relieved, but it wasn’t fair that I had gotten away with what I’d done yet Parks was making Lowry’s life hell. “You think it was all him? It wasn’t.” I didn’t know why I was sticking up for him, but I knew how to hold my hands up when I had done wrong.
“Yes, because he made you an offer you couldn’t refuse, and then he took full fucking advantage.” He pushed his hands through his dark hair. He was obviously tortured by the thought.
“What did you do to him?” I winced, knowing it wouldn’t have been pretty. Parks was a man of confidence, control, and high authority. But I was convinced he was hiding a bad, dark temper.
He glanced at me through dark lashes, projecting egotistical satisfaction. “What didn’t I do to him is the question.”
I closed my eyes at his response. “What if he presses charges?”
“He won’t.”
“You’re sure?”
“Am I sure?” he toyed. “Why do you care, Evelyn?”
I didn’t know why I did, so I didn’t say anything, because admitting feelings I didn’t want to feel was detrimental.
The silence stretched on for a while, until he spoke gently. “Come sit with me.” He wrapped his fingers in mine and made me follow him around the desk. He kicked out the chair with his foot, then sat down and pulled me onto his lap. His smartphone never stopped ringing, but he ignored it every time I was in his presence, and that was surprisingly satisfying. He stroked my hair as I rested my head on his chest. I couldn’t understand why I was willingly doing so. It felt so wrongly right. He was warm, protecting, and comforting, and his masculine fragrance soothed me. Strangely, I welcomed his affection.
“Evelyn, tell me why you lack the ability to find happiness in anything.”
I sighed heavily as I laid against his chest. I knew the answer, yet I was clueless. “It’s like I once read,” I began. “The things that mess us up in life are the fantasies inside our heads telling us how life is meant to be. How life should be. When really, life is a living nightmare.”
He drew in a hasty breath. “A nightmare? You’re a beautiful, feisty young woman. How can that be anything but a dream?”
“Like you said, I have a broken smile that can’t be fixed. You wouldn’t understand.”
He pushed me off his chest gently and gazed into my eyes. “Then make me.”
I was about to talk, and easily, which came as a shock to me, but a knock on the door made me jump to my feet. It was Jittery Joanna.
“Mr. Parks…” she said as she entered, “I…” Her expression soured as she gave me the once-over. She was f
ully aware of where I’d been sitting and hated it. The look she gave me proved it. “I have Mrs. Parks on the line,” she said as she moved her gaze from me and pinned it on him “She’s desperate to speak with you.”
Mrs. Parks? His wife? My heart hopped in its cage.
“Tell my mother to wait, Joanna.”
Oh. His mum. I may have deflated. A little.
“Oh, okay.” She gave me another scrutinizing look and left us.
“I don’t think she likes me.” I snickered, finding it highly amusing. Not many people did.
He tugged the hem of my skirt and pulled me down onto him again. “What matters is I like you.”
“I don’t know why.” I shifted in his lap, and his hardness grew beneath me. Jesus.
“Stop,” he demanded.
I wriggled from his lap and straightened myself out, mindlessly glancing out the windows at the London streets below. I knew I had to leave, but Parks didn’t want to let me. I felt him walking towards me, then he slid his hands across my stomach as he rested his chin on my shoulder. I flinched a little from his contact, until he whispered soothingly against my neck.
“You look beautiful today, Evelyn. You look beautiful every day.”
I prised his hands from me and moved away. “I better get back to work.”
“Let me take you out tonight?” he asked, stopping me in my tracks.
“Well…I…” I didn’t want to carry this on with him. I was confused because I knew I didn’t want anything from him, yet when we were together, he made my judgment take flight.
“Let me rephrase that.” He pointed at me. “I am taking you out tonight.”
“But you want me as your date, and I don’t want to be. My only other option is if we go as friends.”
His jaw tightened again, the way it always did when I defied him, but he exhaled harshly through his nose after a beat. “As you wish.”
“Thank you.” I could deal with that. He could be my friend. That way, I didn’t have to admit having feelings for him and neither would I be hurting Alex.
