by Lilly James
“Hey, Evey.” I turned and saw Keira, a short redhead, in her black shirt and green apron. She was waving me over to the counter.
Starbucks wasn’t as full as it normally was, with it not being lunchtime yet, so I knew I was in for a talkathon with the girls who worked there. Not that I didn’t like them—they were all great girls, and I had gotten to know them well over the last couple of months—but I needed space at that moment.
Upon reaching the counter, I was quick to see Mindy had already fixed up my coffee, which she then passed to me. “Looks like you need a seat.” She gestured at the chairs behind me.
“Sure.” What else could I say? The girls were sweet, and listening to them tell me about their new boyfriends at college—like they always did—would make me forget my own problems for a moment.
Just as I sat with Mindy, another girl walked through the door. I only took notice of her because it felt like she halted as soon as she saw me. I frowned, racking my brain to try and think of whether I knew her from somewhere, but I couldn’t say I did. Maybe from a court case, I thought.
She looked around the same age as me, with long, almost white-blonde hair pulled up in a ponytail. The size of her beautiful, big blue eyes made them look almost cartoon-like. Her cheek bones were ones Kate Moss would be jealous of. Her skin was as pale as a china cup, but it glowed beautifully, and her smile lit up her china-doll face.
Mindy shouted over to her. “Oh, Tabby. Come say hi to Evey. She’s the girl I was telling you about.”
I raised my eyebrow over the top of my coffee cup, glad for the distraction. “You were talking about me?”
Mindy flapped a girlish hand and laughed. “I was just saying how nice you always look.” Then she spotted my watch. “OMG. That is to die for.” She ripped my wrist towards her, and it was lucky I had only just placed my cup down or it would have spilt everywhere. “Tabby, come look at this. It’s real Chanel.”
Tabby coyly moved towards us, and I could instantly tell she wasn’t as lively as the rest of the girls. She placed a non-existent stray tress behind her ear as she approached and spoke softly, almost innocently. “It’s beautiful.”
I rolled my eyes to the ceiling, and Tabby smiled timidly at my reaction. “It was a gift.” And just like that, my thoughts went straight back to that damn Parks.
“A boyfriend? You said you were single. Tell me more,” Mindy squealed.
“Calm down. I haven’t got a boyfriend.”
She finally let my arm go. Her eyes were confused as she waited patiently for me to drink down my coffee and tell her more, but more was not what I was going to tell her. However, to my surprise, Tabby spoke.
“You must have a boyfriend. You’re stunning.” She smiled skittishly again. It was strange because, though she seemed genuine, there was something not right about her.
“No. I don’t,” I admitted. “It was just a gift. It means nothing.”
Mindy smirked and gave me a “yeah, right” look. “Listen, I may be ditzy, but if a man bought you that watch, which is around six thousand pounds, then I’d say buying you that for nothing is a lie.”
My mouth fell open. Six grand just for a watch? That was four months’ rent. I dropped my arm into my lap so my wrist was hidden under the table. “It meant nothing. Leave me alone.” I chuckled.
Mindy whined, “I will get to the bottom of it.”
“I’ll help you get to the bottom of it.” Tabby laughed, beaming at me before turning to leave me alone to think.
Parks gave me the watch to help me get to work on time. It meant nothing, and neither did I want it to mean anything. He didn’t see me like that; all he wanted was sex, no more, no less.
When I was finished, I took my cup back up to Keira. “Hey, who’s that girl?” I nudged my head in Tabby’s direction discreetly.
Keira took my empty cup and shrugged. “Tabby? She’s the new girl. Quite strange. Pretty, though. I told her she should be working in Hollister.” With that, she turned on her heel and left me wondering. At least I didn’t wonder about Parks. After all, I came to have a quiet coffee and get my head wrapped around what I had just done. Sex in the cupboard with a meeting being held just outside? What was wrong with me? And what the hell was going through Parks’s head? He needed to think of his reputation more than I did, and getting caught fucking an employee in a store cupboard wasn’t going to look good for his name or brand.
***
Everyone still seemed to be at the meeting when I slipped behind my desk. I couldn’t think. I was agitated, fidgeting, biting pen lids. I couldn’t work out if I needed more sex, a drink, or to punch Parks in the face. I think it was all three.
Soon I heard the bustle of my colleagues outside the door. I quickly brought up a client’s appeal and got to work before they all came chatting through. I glanced up quickly and caught Clarke’s approach, but I carried on typing. I could see the cogs working in his brain about what to say.
“Evey, my girl.” I closed my eyes on a head shake, cautioning him not to speak, but he didn’t listen. “Look, I was wrong to say what I did back there. But I want to look out for you. That’s all. I know Mr. Parks would seem a highly likely candidate for a partner, and don’t misunderstand me when I say this, because I am not—in any way shape or form—criticizing him as a person, because, well, no one knows him well enough personally to make that judgment. All I’m saying is, he is a business mogul, Evey, and for you to gain feelings for a man of that calibre—”
My gaze shot to him on that remark. “Wait, what are you trying to say, Clarke? That I’m not good enough for him? Oh, don’t worry, I already know that.”
Clarke looked appalled at what I was insinuating. He pointed at me like I was a delinquent child of his. “Good heavens, young lady. I never once did say you were not good enough for him. If you let me finish instead of interrupting me, you would have heard me say that I do not want you to gain feelings for a man that will not take care of your needs. He flies all around the world, Evey. He has businesses to manage that evidently take up all his time and effort. He has never settled down, and men like him do not have the desire to do so. I see it all the time. I have acquaintances whose wives divorced them because they simply did not give them the time and love they deserve.” He was getting redder and angrier the more he spoke. “Now, I do not want a woman—who I happen to think is beautiful, funny, and extremely benevolent—to become a victim of a CEO’s system. You deserve better.”
He thumped his fist on the table whilst I stared at him in shock, left speechless and wounded. Wounded because I had no idea he thought that about me. It warmed my cold heart to hear that someone, apart from Steph and my aunty, had such meaningful things to say about me instead of calling me cruel names I deserved.
I sat debating what to do, and after considering a few choices I made light of the situation, because saying thank you would show him his words meant something to me.
“Clarke, what does benevolent mean?”
His eyes softened as he sighed and shook his head on a single smile. “Oh, Evey, you are a star.” He was about to explain himself, but I stopped him.
“There’s no need, honestly. There is nothing between me and Parks. Besides, I can take care of myself.”
He took my hand gently. “I know you can. You’re a real solider, my girl.”
***
I had finished typing up an appeal, so I hit the ‘print’ button and was gathering my things to get ready to leave until I heard a bleep telling me I had an email.
From: Wade Parks, CEO, Parks Industries
To: Evelyn Banks
Message: You anger me like no one else. Running after sex, not unusual. Why?
Stopping myself from screaming like a banshee at the screen, I violently typed a message back.
From: Evelyn Banks
To: Wade Parks, CEO, Parks Industries
Message: I needed air after feeling used. Not that it’s any of your business. And in reference to your possessiv
e, wanting, needing comments, you need to go find someone else to possess and obsess over.
We are done!
I hit the Send button in a heated frenzy and vowed that if he emailed back, I would not under any circumstances whatsoever reply. My inbox bleeped again, and my fingers itched to open it. I did.
From: Wade Parks, CEO, Parks Industries
To: Evelyn Banks
Message: Used? How many times do I have to tell you I do not use? I will not keep repeating myself.
We are done?
No. We are only done when I say so.
You have a bad attitude problem, Evelyn. I think I will have to teach you some manners.
You need to decide what the hell it is that you want.
“Evey.” I jumped at Clarke’s voice, thinking he’d seen my emails, but he hadn’t. “Before you leave, would you take this file into Carla’s office for me, please?”
“Sure.” I took the folder and planned to leave it on her desk without speaking to the mongrel, but she wasn’t in her office. He was.
I jumped back when I saw him sitting in her chair with his laptop in front of him. “Where’s Carla?”
He clasped his hands together, and his eyes were dark and taking hostages. “Out.” He was cold and withdrawn again as he slowly rose from the chair.
“Just give her these, will you.” I threw the files on the desk, but he was already walking towards me. I turned away from him, acting insouciant until his hand came into contact with my arse. The slap was hard and unexpected, making my body jerk forwards a step. I came to a standstill, my eyes wide and my breathing on hold.
When the sting left my arse cheeks, I turned around slowly and was met by his lewd but entertained one-sided smirk. My mouth was open, stunned, my voice an astonished whisper. “Did you just…” I couldn’t finish. I was completely bemused.
“Yes, Miss Banks. I did. You defy me, you’ll get punished. Bad manners is an ugly trait, wouldn’t you agree? We are only done when I say so.”
I blinked in utter bewilderment. “I’m Miss Banks now? I don’t think I like what you just did, Parks.”
He bent down a little so his mouth was near my ear and whispered, “Only Miss Banks when you misbehave. You didn’t like it? Sue me, or better still, behave,” he taunted, then slipped past me nonchalantly and sank back in to his chair. I had a mental image of throwing something at his infuriating head. He had previously fucked me for punishment, but I was not okay with spanking. What the hell gave him the right to do that to me? He thought he could smack my arse like that, tell me to behave, and reap no consequences?
Well, not from this girl.
He blinked up to where I was still standing. “Are you still here?” He was being rude and obnoxious and an arrogant bastard. He had two personalities, and they both angered me to no end. I was so angry I couldn’t form words, and he must have been able to see the rage splashed across my face. However, he was loving every second of it.
“Enlighten me.” He smirked. “Have my actions pissed you off?”
My mouth fell open on an exasperated gasp. “Are you serious? You smacked my arse. That’s a violation.”
“I’m guessing you’re not familiar with spanking?”
“No, neither do I wish to become acquaintances with it. Oh, and before I go, get familiar with this.” I marched towards him and slapped him across his face for the second time in a week. “How about that for a smack?”
I stormed out of the building, acting like a complete maniac. I had never been so angry in my life. My palm was throbbing, my body temperature had soared, and I was shaking. I felt suffocated and trapped by all the new things I didn’t understand, want to understand, or didn’t want to admit or feel. I couldn’t cope with lust, desire, and feelings in general. I just couldn’t.
I sucked in the fresh air once outside the building, then quickly found a bench and flopped down onto the metal, suppressing the urge to scream. My knees jerked up and down in agitation, and I knew what I craved, but I really, really wanted to fight it. Drink wasn’t the better half of me; I was the better half of me. Or so I kept telling myself, but I didn’t believe it. And without believing, I had no hope of ending it.
From the corner of my eye, I saw a black Jaguar. I turned my head to see Cleaver had followed me on my walk and was parked across the street. After taking several breaths I walked towards the car. “Why are you following me?” I asked tiredly.
“It’s orders, Evey. Mr. Parks wants you safe, but he got called into a meeting and couldn’t come himself.”
I rolled my eyes dramatically. “Tell him to get fucked.”
***
When I got in, I made spaghetti bolognese from scratch and sat on the sofa. Lounging in a pink tracksuit, I mindlessly flicked through the TV until I settled on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I tried to watch it and tried to eat, but my thoughts were niggling away at me like a parasite. Since I’d got out of work in a mess, all I kept thinking about was running to a wine bottle. More so because I was still thinking about that spank Parks had given me and I didn’t want to think about that.
When Steph walked through the door, I stopped playing with my spaghetti and pounced on her with my eager question. “Steph, do you know anything about spanking?”
Her head shot up, and she gave me a bemused look as she struggled over to the kitchen counter with an overloaded shopping bag of food. “Evelyn Banks, you kinky bitch. Food smells good. Did you make some for me?”
I shrugged, trying to come across casual and turned back to the TV. “I’m just curious, that’s all. And of course I did.”
Steph plated up her spaghetti, pushed off her shoes, and jumped on the sofa next to me, bare feet, causing me to turn my face away from her feet because they absolutely stank.
“Well, personally I love it,” she began. “But Mathew only ever spanks me when he’s drunk. You know, you can orgasm from spanking. But I don’t know any man that’s achieved that; neither have any of my Ann Summers girls experienced it.”
That made me pay attention. “You can come from spanking?”
“Yep, but come on,” she sang with a gob full of spaghetti, slapping my knee playfully. “What man makes a girl come in the first place? Never mind when he’s spanking her.”
“Hmm.” I went back into deep thought and mindlessly swirling my spaghetti around on my fork until Steph nudged me, chuckling.
“Anyway, you kink freak, I have paddles and crops if you’re interested.”
“Whoa, I was only curious. Keep the paddles and crops.”
She bit her lip to stop herself from mocking me. “I didn’t realise my brother was such a kink king.”
“Okay, Steph,” I snorted. “Stop saying the word kink.”
“Kink, kink, kink,” she sang annoyingly.
“Oh and Steph, by the way, your feet pong.” I pointed to them with my fork.
She leaned down to smell them and blew her cheeks out, revolted. “It’s those work shoes my mum makes me wear for health and safety. They’re like fucking clodhoppers.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I went back to mindlessly staring at the TV.
Chapter Fifteen
It was Friday evening, and I hadn’t seen Parks since the spank he gave me at work on Wednesday. He had been busy with other engagements but still had time to text me. Not that I texted him back. I needed to distance myself from him. I still didn’t know how I felt about what he did. On the one hand, I was enraged by his immoral behaviour; on the other, I scolded myself for taking a spank too seriously. Then I scolded myself again for thinking it was insignificant. It wasn’t. I hated that. Hated how men thought they could control women or wield power over them just because they were rich, dominant, and handsome. But then why couldn’t I stop thinking about how it made me feel? Angry on the outside, yet gratifying on the inside.
I pulled on skinny jeans and a casual T-shirt, then slipped my feet into Dr. Martens. I pushed my hair up into a loose ponytail and took hold of my black polka dot
holdall. I thought going to my Aunt Cheryl’s for the weekend would give me that space I craved.
Steph walked out to her car with me in her converse, baggy boyfriend jeans, and blue jumper. Her curly hair was pushed back with a hairband.
“Steph, you really should have gone away for the weekend with Mathew,” I said. “Staying home probably hurt his feelings.”
She slammed the boot, annoyed. “Since when do you care about feelings?”
I sighed. Mathew planned to take Steph to Newquay, but she told him she had to drive me to my aunt’s house in Brighton. Which was a lie. I was planning on getting the train. Steph’s driving skills were atrocious.
Steph climbed into the car, doing her best to ignore me.
“I don’t understand you, Steph. Do you even want to be with Mathew?” I asked her whilst sliding my seat belt across my body and making sure it was fastened securely as she started up the car.
“You think I don’t love him, don’t you?” she pushed.
“It’s the way you are with him sometimes. I seriously would have kicked yo’ ass to the curb by now.” I laughed at myself, but Steph didn’t find it funny.
“Wow, just say it how it is, Evey.” She pressed ‘play’ on her music system, and Maroon Five starting singing “One More Night.”
“There is nothing I wouldn’t do to Adam Levine.” Steph closed her eyes and sighed, causing the car to turn slightly and almost mount the kerb. “Shit.” She grasped the steering wheel and straightened out. I looked over at her calm, smirking face and shook my head in bewilderment.
“I am going to die on the way to my aunt’s. I can see it now.”
She slapped my knee playfully. “You’re safe with me, Evey.”
I wasn’t as sure as she was. Then she proved me right.
“Oh fuck!” Steph screamed as we bumped straight into the back of another car. I was jerked forwards in my seat. My knees slammed against the glove box, but the seat belt did its job, stopping me from flying forwards. I quickly looked over at Steph to ask if she was all right. She looked shaken up as she glared at the car we had crashed into. I threw off my seat belt and leaned forwards to see it had made an impact on the car in front of us.
