by Lilly James
Chapter Twenty
I went to a nearby bar and ordered a triple vodka shot. I downed it in one and ordered another, ignoring the sane part of my brain urging me to do the right thing and go home.
Maybe I was insane. I mean, I thought I was getting my life back together. I’d started the AA meetings, I had a new home with Steph, and I was getting along in my job just fine. What the hell disrupted it all? Parks. That’s what it was. Why the fuck couldn’t he leave me alone and stay away from me and my life? Why did he have to make me question myself around him? Make me feel things I didn’t want to feel?
I downed another vodka, then felt a tap on the back of my shoulder. I groaned, almost irritated because I thought it was going to be Parks, but when I glanced over my shoulder, I saw it wasn’t.
“Lowry?” My previous boss had caught me by complete surprise and didn’t seem happy to see me. In his early thirties and with his ginger hair styled perfectly, he was handsome in his own way. He also wore expensive watches and nice suits—though not as nice as Parks’s. That day, however, he looked almost unrecognizable. His hair had grown long and unkempt, he had a ginger beard coming along, and his clothes weren’t ironed. He was also completely drunk and sporting a cut lip and a black eye that looked a few days old. I grimaced a little as I realised where his wounds had come from.
“Evey,” he jeered, prodding my shoulder again.
“How are you?” I didn’t really care how he was, but I felt inclined to ask nonetheless.
“How am I?” he sneered, glancing down at the mess he’d become. “Look at me. Look at what you’ve”—he prodded me again—”done to me.”
“What?” I was dumbfounded.
He laughed, stumbling back a little. “You’ve ruined my life, you spiteful bitch. Parks,” he spat out his name, “has ruined my life, and all because he couldn’t stand that I had fucked his new girlfriend before him.”
I rose from the barstool, holding my hands up. “Now wait a minute. I am not his girlfriend, so whatever he’s done has nothing to do with me.”
His face screwed up. “You’re a liar,” he yelled, making a few heads turn. “He made sure I wouldn’t work in another law firm again. Ever. You know how that feels? I have a family to feed, Evey. I have a wife and kids to take care of. Now I have nothing. And that’s all down to you.” He gave my shoulder a harsher prod that jerked it back, so I took hold of his finger and bent it back, making him yelp.
“Then maybe you should’ve thought about your wife before you fucked me with that pencil dick of yours,” I snarled, but he grabbed on to my wrist.
“You bitch.”
“Hey,” the barman called over, but Lowry didn’t seem to care.
“You will pay for this, Evey. I will ruin both your lives, you wait and see. The media will have a field day with my story.” He let go of my wrist and stumbled into a nearby table, knocking over a group of men’s drinks. I stared after him, completely bemused.
“You all right?” the barman asked as I got my bag together.
“Fine,” I snapped and made my way out into the fresh air. Jesus, three threats in one day. I must have been doing something right.
As soon as I stepped outside, I was in the middle of a four-man fight. Police and their dogs surrounded the fight, trying to break it up as people gathered around to get a glimpse. I moved through the crowd, mumbling under my breath about nuisance football hooligans. There were so many people to get through, I started to get frustrated, so when someone pulled my arm I whirled around, ready to scream at them.
“Whoa.” Alex stepped back, chuckling at my sudden outburst. He was wearing his police uniform. “It’s just me. Sorry I scared you.”
My eyes closed slowly on their own. Could my day get any worse? “Alex, um, hi. Shouldn’t you be over there with the fight?” I tried to get him to leave before he realised I was standing outside the pub.
He looked towards the ruckus as the men were being cuffed and put into the back of the police cars. “Nah, it’s under control. I’m just on foot for another hour, then I get to go home to spend the night with a special lady. It feels like I haven’t spoken to you in ages.” He smiled boyishly and tapped my forearm playfully.
“Sorry, I’ve been busy. See you later.” As I tried to make a dash for it, I thought I’d get away before he realised where we were standing, but he suddenly frowned.
“Evey, why are you here, anyway? It’s chaos. I didn’t think you finished work until five thirty.”
I glanced at my watch and saw it was only four p.m. “Um, I got off early.”
“Have you been drinking?”
I wasn’t drunk. Maybe a little light-headed, but there was no way he could have sensed I’d had a drink. I figured he was just asking because I was near a pub, and yes, that looked suspicious.
“No,” I barked, a little too defensive, which made him back off.
“Okay. So I’ll see you later?”
“Great.” I tried to act enthusiastic, but today had taken every ounce of enthusiasm away from me.
When I got back to my flat, I was half expecting the police to be at my door, but they weren’t. I decided I needed to sleep off those tumblers of vodka before the night, so I crawled onto my bed and shut my eyes.
***
Two hours later, my phone rang, waking me up. I answered it groggily without looking to see who it was.
“Evelyn.” It was Parks, and his voice was cold. “You still have a job. It’s sorted. In the morning, I expect you to be into work on time. That is all.” And he hung up.
What the…? He was probably acting that way because he was still angry at me for what I’d done. Thinking about it, maybe he was right. Maybe it would scandalize the law firm because we workers had to represent Parks’s name and keep it clean. Then again, I’m sure he would have found a way to stop word getting out about the fight I’d caused. I also wanted to know how he got Carla to let me keep my job. I wanted to tell her to stick it, but I needed to swallow that sour grape and get on with it. At least I got a punch in. That had felt pretty good.
I showered and changed into casual clothes but kept my hair down. I had a headache, and my usual ponytail would only enhance it.
I heard Steph coming through the front door speaking to someone, so I walked out of my bedroom to investigate. It was Alex and Mathew.
“We’re double-dating. Let me just grab my lip gloss.” She beamed and ran into her bedroom. I knew she was happy about the situation because she hated having a night out with just her and Mathew. At least the double date was drawing attention away from my absence the previous night and our argument that morning.
“Oh, great.” My lack of interest was obvious.
“I got tickets for the launch of that posh restaurant that’s opened up in the city. I had them off my boss,” Alex confirmed.
That got my attention. “For a restaurant?” I looked down at my floral blouse and pink, ankle-high trousers. “I’m not dressed for a restaurant.”
Mathew groaned, knowing what was coming and made himself comfortable on the couch. Alex took my hands. “You look beautiful in what you’re wearing.”
I pulled my hands from his and frowned. “Yes, for the cinema. I’ll have to get changed.” From the corner of my eye, I saw Mathew opening up a newspaper, so I moved them along. “You two go ahead. We’ll catch you up.”
“We?” Steph asked, confused as I looked over her dress sense. She had none. And she was wearing her infamous black leggings and a long, fluorescent blouse.
“Yes. We. You look like a lollipop.” I turned her by her shoulder and waved the men off. They couldn’t wait to leave.
“We have to dress posh?” she moaned, lying across my bed as I opened up my wardrobe. The clothes that were folded at the bottom fell out onto my feet, forcing Steph to say what she always said. “You have too many clothes, Evey. It’s ridiculous.”
She was right. When I became sober, my addiction turned into shopping. You see, I was an ugl
y child, and my mother always told me so. I also only ever had hand-me-downs instead of nice things or nice clothes. So buying things that made me feel good was important to me. I never wanted to feel ugly, because if I looked in the mirror and saw those things my mum said I was, recalled those names she would taunt me with, it killed me.
While looking through my clothes, I sensed tension from Steph and knew she was waiting to approach me about my behaviour. Waiting was making me agitated, so I asked her to spit it out.
“I just hate that you don’t call me back, Evey,” she said. “When you’re out without me, all sorts of thoughts run through my mind. Then you tell me you went out with the Starbucks girls? Since when were you all pally?”
I hid my expression by mindlessly folding up a stray jumper. “They asked me to go out with them, and I didn’t want to seem like I didn’t appreciate the offer, so I went. I thought we went over this?”
“Next time could you invite me?”
I could sense how much it meant to her, and even though I wasn’t with any other girls that night, I promised I would ask her next time, even though I knew she only wanted to come to keep an eye on me.
After that, the tension decreased, and I felt at ease. But then she spotted the dress Parks gave me laid out on the bed. “Hey, nice dress. Is it new?”
I paused. “Uh, yeah, it’s from the High Street.”
“Can I wear this one, then?”
Of course I would’ve let her wear it if I hadn’t lied and say it was from the High Street, but I knew Steph would spot the tag, so I quickly swiped it from her hands.
“No. I’ve been in it all day. That’s gross.” I quickly pulled out a pastel green dress for Steph that had a beautiful gemstone necklace attached. “This will look perfect. Here.” I threw it towards her, and she caught it with distaste.
“Really?”
“Yes, really, you live in those leggings. It’ll be nice to see you in a dress for once. Now go.”
She pouted. “There is nothing wrong with leggings.”
“I’m going to cut them up one day,” I warned her.
“You will not,” she threatened and went to her room to hide her stash of leggings.
After much deliberation, I chose a white lace, almost sweetheart-neck top that almost resembled a bodice, and a pastel pink pencil skirt. It looked classy with the white blazer and pastel pink heels I added.
When I was done, I walked into the living room to find Steph waiting and looking bored to death. “You take so long,” she moaned. “You will be okay in the pub, won’t you, Evey?”
“I am perfectly capable of going to a pub and not drinking.” I rolled my eyes dramatically, then inwardly cringed at my denial.
***
The restaurant was a bit dark as the only lighting came from candles, but nevertheless, it was gorgeous inside. Although I got the impression the staff thought we had stolen the tickets from someone wealthy. The way they were looking down on us all was starting to bug me.
We got seated quickly at a dark wood table and had our drink orders taken. We all got chatting then, and I glanced past Steph’s head. When I did, I could have sworn I saw the back of Carla’s head. Yes, there were thousands of women in London with auburn bobs, but when you know someone, you can spot them just by looking at the back of their head. This was one of those moments. She was on her own at the table, but she couldn’t have come alone because there was another glass across from her.
“Jesus, it’s expensive in here,” Matthew muttered, pulling my focus back. The bench jostled, telling me that Steph had kicked him in the leg.
“You’re a tight bastard. Don’t bother you spending hundreds of pounds on season tickets, though, does it?” she snapped.
I held my menu up to hide my smirk. I felt bad when she yelled at him for nothing, but then I also wished he would grow some balls and stick up for himself.
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, can I please request your orders?”
In sync, we all looked up at the well-groomed, penguin-suited waiter with a pad of paper in one hand and a white napkin slung over his other arm. The others took their turns ordering whilst I was still looking at the menu. Finally choosing a steak, I handed it over, but my eyes were suddenly drawn to a man across the room. He was walking in from somewhere, putting his phone away in his suit jacket, and pulled out the seat across from Carla. The man was Parks!
I frowned, completely perplexed whilst I wondered why on earth he would be having dinner with a woman he disliked. My heart sped up as I realised I almost felt cheated. Jealous even. Suddenly, I was dying for a drink, and it was ridiculous. Emotions I didn’t need were overwhelming me, and the only way I knew how to numb them was to hit the bottle. But obviously, with the company I was with, a drink was not going to happen.
The men at the table ordered beers, and my knee started jumping up and down, something I always did when I was agitated or needing a drink. When temptations hit me, they completely overwhelmed me. To anyone that didn’t understand how that felt, they would seem possible to quickly overcome. I just wished they were.
“I’m just going to the ladies’.” I stood and made sure none of their eyes followed me. I did, however, walk in the direction of the ladies’ toilets but quickly changed course and headed straight towards the bar instead. “A vodka shot, please,” I told the barman. “Actually, make that two.”
He tried to act professional, but I caught how his brow furrowed at my suspicious behaviour. I was fidgeting, looking over my shoulder, and clearly in a rush.
“If you would like to take a seat at your table, madam, I will bring the order to you.”
“No,” I bellowed. “I would like it now. Thanks.”
“Of course.” He stiffened, then turned around to fill the short glass with two measures of vodka. He placed the glass down on the bar for me to take, and I handed him the money and drank it back in one go. The burn slightly numbed my lips and throat, but I quite welcomed it. Turning around to make sure I wasn’t being watched, I hesitated, even though I knew what I was going to do.
“Another double, please.” I pushed the empty glass across the bar. The barman caught it just before it slid off the other side and gave me a stiff smile. I was in a rush, and that time he took too long for my liking. My foot was tapping restlessly until he finally exchanged the glass for my money. I knocked it straight back, then made my way back to our table. Everyone looked up at me when I arrived.
“Evey, you were gone a while. Everything all right?” It pissed me off how Steph had to act like I had a motive for everything I did, though most of the time she was right.
“Just a queue for the toilet.” My smile was convincing enough for her to accept my reply. She and Mathew got talking after that, so Alex leaned over to get my attention. He’d been doing that most of the night, but now my attention was on Carla and Parks. Yes, I had to admit, Parks seemed bored as he watched her talk, laugh, flirt, and play with her hair. She kept reaching over to touch his hand, which he continuously pulled away. It made me wonder why the hell he was having dinner with her in the first place. And it made me wonder why the hell I felt envious.
“How’s your job going, Evey?”
Turning to Alex to answer his question, I realised he was closer to me than I’d thought. If I’d leaned forwards a touch, our lips would have met. So I shifted a little to give myself some space.
“Well, it was going good until I punched my boss in the face.” I thought I’d tell them myself because when the police came calling, they would find out either way. Then I remembered, shit, Alex was an officer.
“You did what?” Alex asked at the same time Steph said, “You punched your boss in the face?”
Risking a glance from my shredded napkin, I caught Steph’s bulging eyes and shrugged nonchalantly. “She called me a slut.”
Mathew burst out laughing. “That’s class.”
Steph smacked him in his shoulder. “So now you’ve got no job? Again?” She said
the last word with an exhausted eye roll, but I quickly corrected her.
“No, I still have my job, that’s the crazy thing.”
“Is she pressing charges?”
I scoffed and glanced over at Parks and Carla’s table. “Probably.”
Then Alex went into full-blown officer mode. “You could get charged for common assault. Maybe a fine and up to five months in jail.”
I rubbed at my forehead. I didn’t need to hear the consequences, especially knowing that Carla would take her case all the way.
“She can’t let you keep your job if she’s going to press charges,” he said.
My perplexed frown matched Steph’s. “I know, but somehow I still got my job.” I looked over at Alex, who was watching me suspiciously. “Why are you looking at me like that?” I giggled out of nervousness.
Before he could answer, our meals arrived. Mathew rubbed his hands together in delight, as did the others, but I wasn’t hungry. I picked at my food, my focus remaining on Parks and Carla. He only spotted me when they got up to leave. My heart slammed against my chest with a thud, and my face filled with heat. His eyes went wide with alarm when he saw me, then narrowed as they turned to Alex sitting beside me. He had some damn cheek. Carla was looking for something in her bag, so when her head popped back up, he looked away from me quickly, took her hand, and led her out of the restaurant. He only looked in my direction again as he held the door open for Carla, then he followed her out.
My blood began to boil out of jealously but more so confusion, and my knee was bouncing up and down underneath the table the more I thought about Parks having dinner with that bitch. Where the hell were they going to go after dinner? To have sex? Most probably.
I closed my eyes, trying my best to calm myself down, but it was no use. The more I looked at Alex’s beer next to me, the more I wanted to pick it up and down the whole thing and then another ten more. But I couldn’t think that way. I couldn’t let a man make me feel that way. So why was Parks making me?
Moments passed as I half listened to Steph criticize Mathew’s every move. “You’re such a pig when you eat. Look, it’s all down your shirt.” I kept my eyes focused on my meal, trying to bite my tongue, but she kept going on about it. “And will you close your mouth? You sound like a horse.”
