by Steven Fox
“Jason!”
Len and Darlene descended from the platform and ran to him. Their hands were linked, fingers woven together. Jason smiled, then looked up at Len.
She nodded. “Darlene said yes.”
Darlene grinned, squeezing Len’s hand. “So you better do whatever it is you need to do and come back, because this girl owes me a movie and dinner. And you know she’ll need a few pointers.” Behind Len and Darlene, the Dream Catcher raised a brow. The Guardian shook his head, a smile on his lips. “Oh, and kick ass, Jiggy!”
Len ducked her head, blush fanning across her cheeks. “Just come back, okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
He took a deep breath. Then plunged his head inside the nightmare’s mouth.
TWENTYFIVE
It was like the pit of Talshe’s gut, but not at all: He never fell but slid, the slimy walls around him quickly pushing him down. He didn’t even realize he’d stopped until he opened his eyes. He was standing on a narrow strip of rock-hard flesh, which stretched forward and sloped down into the distance. Despite the lack of a viable light source, Jason saw tall plateaus off in the distance. The stomach growled and moaned all around him.
The ridge Jason stood upon branched off in five directions, four of which linked to the plateaus. He inhaled deeply and broke into a fit of hacking. He doubled over gagging and dry-heaving. While bent over, he glanced down, far down. The vomit pushed up past his throat, and spewed out of his mouth. Down below, in the deepest pit of the nightmare’s stomach, rested a muck of half-melted bodies. These bodies ranged from everything that resembled human children to centaur to nymphs, all matted together in a slimy heap. It almost seemed like the floor was moving, writhing. Perhaps the moans around him were actually their cries and pleas for help. The stench rushing up from their half-decayed bodies—their still-alive bodies—made Jason hurl, again, and again until his throat felt raw, until he felt dizzy and had to sit, gripping the side of the fleshy ridge for balance. He wrenched his eyes shut.
It seemed brighter. Warmer. Jason heard something:
Sniffle. Snort.
He opened his eyes, clutching his stomach. Floating just above him was the orb of light, the one that had escaped from Sirin and plowed into Shemillah. The one Jason had seen the King of Dreams carry away from Shemillah’s prison. It hovered there, sniffling and snorting. To Jason, it sounded almost like the poor thing was crying. But Jason couldn’t decipher its cries.
He stood, holding out his arms for balance. His head threatened to spin out of control, but he reined it in. He looked up at the orb of light. “Do you know where I need to go?”
The orb replied with a quick snort then floated down the walkway. Jason followed it slowly, careful to glance at his feet and make sure they were on track. As he went, the slope turned into stairs. At the bottom of the steps, the five-way fork appeared. Four of the paths ascended up to plateaus. The fifth one disappeared into a wall of shadow straight ahead. Jason was glad his little companion, the orb of light, took the path to the far left.
The plateau was small and circular, with nothing atop it except a large throne. In the throne sat a chained figure. As the orb closed in on the shadowy figure, it illuminated everything: F was sitting in the throne, her eyes to the floor. Bandages lay in a heap at her feet, and her skin was covered in lesions and rashes. Her eyes were bloodshot.
“What the hell do you want?” she said.
“It’s not about what I want,” said Jason.
F scoffed. “It’s always been about what you want. Hasn’t it? That’s why I exist. That’s why E and D and S all exist. We’re part of what you wanted. But the Queen is the worst.”
“I’ll set you free, if you want.”
“Freedom? No such thing. You can’t feel freedom. You can only feel the things you touch.” She moaned, another cut opening on her forearm.
Jason kneeled before her, looking up into her eyes. He took a hold of her bloody-raw hand. “Feel this? Feel my touch.”
F didn’t rip her hand away, but the look in her eyes said she wanted to. At first. After a few moments, the icy glare in her face melted, and she stared at their hands, touching. The look on her face reminded him of the one Gelen wore at the Visonia train station.
“Whaddya feel?” he said.
She only looked at Jason. And as she opened her mouth to speak, a light enveloped her body. Her eyes fluttered shut, and she tilted her chin upward, her lips half-open and trembling. The light faded, and F disappeared.
***
The light led Jason back to the five-road fork. As soon as he descended the stairs, something split and shook. He turned back toward the plateau. The staircase had broken away and now plummeted to the bottom of the fleshy gorge, splattering in the muck. Jason shivered before following the light up the second set of stairs—the one farthest to the right.
Halfway up these steps, Jason stopped. He felt the heat of something on the back of his neck. Like a pair of eyes boring into him. He looked back, only to meet with empty space. Heaving a sigh, Jason turned forward.
Two red eyes hovered only inches from his. And the dry, chapped lips were already upon his before he could scream. Shades wasted no time in wrapping itself around Jason, undulating and squeezing all at once. Jason’s heart pounded as the pressure in his head grew. It felt more like a knot than a pressure now.
“i know you want me you want to feel me pressed against you you want to feel my heart beat in time with yours i want it too.
“and something else i want you to feel something else.
“it was a mistake before after all last time i died.”
Jason ripped his eyes open, and found himself laid out on top of the plateau. The orb sniffled above him, hovering next to his cheek. He sat up and shook out his head. The light floated away toward the other side of the plateau, where another throne stood. In this throne sat D, hands clasped over her ears, her mouth and eyes twisted in concentration. Upon Jason’s approach, D jerked her head up and stared wide-eyed at him. She pressed her hands harder against her skull.
“Don’t say anything,” she whispered. “Please. I don’t want to hear it. You or anything else. Especially not the cries. All the cries from the bottom of this pit. It’s too much. Too much!”
He leaned in, so close that D could taste his breath. And he whispered, as gently as possible, “But if you don’t listen, who will? Who will listen to the cries for help? If you try to shut it out, then won’t you just drown in the silence?”
“You’re one to talk,” she said, her voice rising above a whisper. Her hands squeezed around her ears. “Just shut up.”
He leaned in closer and whispered, “You don’t want to shut them out, do you? You’re confused, just like I was. I did something stupid. Just like you’re doing right now.”
Jason felt the presence at his shoulder. He knew it wasn’t the orb, which floated a little above his head, sniffling and snorting. Shades stood behind him, menacing him. But it was okay. He didn’t mind.
“You may not like what you hear, but trust me, it’s not okay to shut down like this. It just isn’t. You’re a knight, aren’t you? One of Gelen’s guard! You should have a strong constitution. Besides, you listened to me. You truly did. And you believed me when the other guards didn’t. So why don’t you listen?”
Her eyes flicked up to Jason. He grinned at her. A goofy smile, to be sure. And this made her grin. As she lowered her hands, the same light that had enveloped F now covered her. Jason blinked, and she was gone.
“digusting.”
Its hands were on his shoulders before Jason could do anything. It spun him around and glared at him with accusing eyes.
“how dare you lie traitor bastard coward.”
He could feel the liquid stone now, seeping into his hands. He tried to say forth, but his mouth wouldn’t move. Shemillah wasn’t just near him, but all around him. Fear ripped through Jason like lightning in the night sky. Shades jerked on his shoulders.
“you were never sorry never you did it because you truly didn’t mean anything you said none of it.
“but i mean everything i say and i mean it when i say you will be mine forever here in this stinking black pit.”
Its cloak ripped open and revealed a gaping maw with black, tentacle-like teeth. The teeth wrapped around Jason’s arms, then his legs. Jason’s head was halfway toward its throat when the orb of light darted down, embedding itself into Shades. The shadow sizzled, and a rusty, inhuman screech erupted from it. Shades retreated, melting into the darkness. The orb of light returned to Jason, floating chest-level with him, snorting and sniffling. He looked into the ball of light, squinting his eyes. He still couldn’t understand what the orb was saying, but something about the orb felt familiar.
Suddenly, the pressure dissolved; the stone drained out of his hands and evaporated. He glanced down at his hands, then back up to the light, which had already begun to move onto the next plateau.
“Did it just say…?”
But he couldn’t finish the sentence. His deal with Shemillah prevented it.
***
The same thing happened: The staircase collapsed, and the orb of light continued on, not even leaving Jason time to consider what might be happening to Gelen’s guards. Where did they go, once they disappeared? He had a good feeling they were in a better place than this grotesque pit.
The next plateau was under the watch of E, the first of Gelen’s knights he’d met. E still wore the bandanna around her eyes. Unlike the last two, she sat proud and tall in her chair, staring straight at Jason as he walked toward her.
“Jason McKinney,” said E. “You came. I thought you would.”
The orb floated closely to Jason’s right shoulder, as though hanging off it. He nodded in response to E. “You seem very calm. F and D were shook up pretty bad.”
“Being the queen’s eyes has its benefits.” She stood and strolled toward him. “There are drawbacks, of course. Like remembering who you are, when no one else can. Even though you look different, I’d recognize you anywhere.”
Jason grunted. “I’m not him. Not anymore, at least.”
E stepped up to Jason, their eyes exactly level. She leaned in, and the warmth of her breath washed over him—a refreshing change from the heavy, rotten smell in the air. She held that pose for a moment, and Jason was certain E must be looking him up and down, even though her eyes were wrapped up.
“No. Not at all. But at the same time, you are. Before and after, you’ve always wanted to ease the pain of others.”
“You’ll be the only one to say that” he said.
E smiled, leaning her head against Jason’s chest. “Because not everyone truly sees a person for who they are.”
E glowed brightly from head to toe, and then disappeared. Jason basked in her warm after-aura. In the pit of his stomach he felt Shades would appear any moment now. It’d appear and criticize everything E had said. He turned, but Shades wasn’t there. Jason moved toward the staircase when a pair of hands seized him by the hair. The cold, callused hands eclipsed his eyes. He could feel its rotten breath on his neck.
“yes let’s truly see you mckinney let’s see you at work.”
The parade returned, except there were no people. No parade. Only Jason. He blinked, and he and Tara appeared in front of him.
“i hope you watch and pay attention watch and see the real you.”
He and Tara wore the largest, happiest smiles. Then a look flashed across Tara’s face, and she leaned down. She whispered into Jason’s ear, a smile mixed of mischief and anxiety across her face. Had she looked so anxious? Jason couldn’t hear it in her voice. Without noticing, the pressure started growing in the back of his head. The Jason holding up Tara had this expression creeping across his face. His smile slowly fell, curling downward. That’s about the time, thought Jason.
Jason’s face screwed up, then he screamed, letting go of Tara and, flailing, she fell from his shoulders. It looked like she’d fall on her head. Maybe her neck. But she was more agile than that, and so twisted through the air and landed on her arm—mostly her wrist. Jason turned, and the horrified stare on his face made the bottom of the real Jason’s stomach fall straight to his feet. The real Jason shook his head, while the one in front of him did the same.
“You…you said you’d love me! No matter what! Traitor! Bastard! Son of a bitch!” said Tara.
***
And Jason woke up. Somehow, he’d ended up on the fork, with only two paths remaining. Had the creature not tried to swallow him? Or did the orb of light save him again? Jason rose to his knees and looked around, pressing a palm to his throbbing head. The orb wasn’t in sight and he couldn’t hear its sniffles and snorts.
He considered the remaining paths: One was a staircase, the other leading straight ahead. He felt weak, almost dizzy. He wasn’t sure if trying the stairs would be wise. Then again, he didn’t know what lay at the end of the path straight ahead. What if Shades was there, waiting with open arm and mouth? He had to move. If he didn’t make a decision, who knew how much longer his friends would last? If they were even still alive, that was. Jason’s throat tightened. He breathed deeply through his mouth, not wanting to smell anymore of the putrid air. But tasting it wasn’t much better.
Straight ahead, he decided. And without hesitation, Jason stood and walked. As he stepped onto the bridge, something cracked. Fearing it might be the bridge, he jumped back. But the bridge remained suspended. The final staircase, to his left, had already fallen halfway out of sight, into the writhing pit of rot below. There was nothing he could do to stop it, so he turned and steeled himself. Hopefully, Queen Gelen wasn’t on the fourth plateau. He cringed at the thought, but felt confident the plateau had been empty.
***
The bridge of rock-hard flesh seemed to stretch on forever, yet grew narrower and narrower, until Jason was left with no choice but to turn back. But the bridge disappeared, and only a small circle remained below him. Was this Shades’s mischief? A trap?
If it was, Shades watched from afar, for it hadn’t appeared to torture him. Not yet. Everything around him had grown dark, and he could hardly feel the bridge beneath his feet or hear the digestive gurgling from the pit’s bottom. Even the stench of rotting hamburger meat lifted from the air. Shades was out there, he knew it. He turned back in the direction he had originally set out. One foot in front of the other, he thought. Slow breathing. Think light thoughts. Bird. Feather. Dandelion fluff.
Then his foot plunged down, and with no bridge to catch him, the rest of Jason’s body followed suit. Darkness whooshed by as Jason stared into the void accelerating toward him. He half-expected the sloshy remains of countless creatures to rush up and embrace him with their half-digested arms. But no such embrace came. Just darkness, racing past him to an unknown goal above, while likewise, he plummeted toward his. Then he hit something. It sucked him in, crawling over his flesh. Cold and wet, yet crusty. Clumpy. He tried to breathe, but couldn’t; the thing had started crawling inside his mouth, down his throat. It filled him. All of him—his hands, his arms. All the way down to his legs, and slowly up to his chest.
He felt the pressure in the back of his head and realized, too late, that the liquid stone had invaded his body from the outside. Without even thinking of Tara.
Shades said:
“you know this feeling all too well but not as well as i know it.
“it’s all i can feel the eternal drowning the suffocation the heaviness filling and filling me.
“all because of you and your words all because of your lies.”
He struggled, but couldn’t. The liquid stone hardened around him, freezing him in place. His lungs were being crushed, his heart beating wildly, but weakening ever so slowly.
“i will never let you reach her she will stay here and suffer like me.
“but unlike her i’ll have you forever i’ll have you.
“because you deserve this it’s all your fault.
”
A black mouth opened before Jason, the tentacle-like teeth wrapping about him, shoving him to the back of its throat. He felt the throat muscles contract around him, and then darkness embraced him.
***
“But it’s not entirely your fault, my prince.”
The darkness vanished, and Jason stood, once again, in the day of the parade. Everyone was there—the crowd, the fire trucks, the clowns, the people throwing candy and shooting squirt guns into the crowd. He was there, in his spot. Tara was on his shoulders. His smile felt all-too-painful smile. Painful, only because he knew what happened next.
As the fire truck sirens blared, Tara bent down whispered in Jason’s ear. It was at that exact moment he felt something against the back of his head. A pressure, like a thumb pressed against his skull.
“I should’ve told you,” she said. “I’m…I was born with both parts.”
“Both parts?” he said. The pressure against his head pressed harder as Tara adjusted herself.
“Boy and girl parts.”
Jason opened his mouth. And he screamed, bucking Tara from his shoulders. She landed with a sick thud on the concrete. And people around them turned and stared. The pressure lingered, burning into his skull as each moment passed. Jason turned.
“Traitor!
“bastard!
“Son of a bitch!
“you said you’d love me no matter what.”
Jason wrenched his eyes shut. I don’t’ want to see this anymore. Let me drown. Let me die. I don’t deserve to see her over and over again. I deserve to drown. To sink like she did.
He opened his eyes again.
This time he was at Tara’s funeral. Many were gathered there, clustered around the hole that would soon host Tara Engel’s body. But Jason wasn’t there, in the crowd. He stood back, all the way back by the guestbook table, which rested under a tent. He sat there, his eyes flicking between the crowd around Tara’s grave and the guestbook.
