by Lora Ann
“Isn’t it obvious my body craves yours? I mean, there’s no denying the chemistry that still exists between us.”
I raked a hand through my hair, fighting like hell to hide just how much she was hurting me. “Yeah, that’s all it is. I couldn’t possibly feel anything for you,” I ground out through my clenched jaw.
She halted and stared at me. I watched as my words registered. I wished I’d followed my instincts and took her into my arms. But quite the opposite happened, I walked away.
Once in the men’s room away from prying eyes, I felt the wetness on my cheeks. Fucking tears were not going to make this any better. Nik found me sitting on the floor with knees bent towards my chest, wrists resting on top of them, and my head hanging low.
He got down on his haunches to look me in the eyes. “Relationships are hard, brother. I wish I could tell you things will get easier.”
“No matter how much I love her, Nik,” shaking my head, “I can’t seem to forgive her.”
“Until you decide to let that go and understand her side of things, you’ll continue to wrestle with this.” He grasped my hand to pull me to my feet as he stood. “Understanding doesn’t mean agreement, just like forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re okay with what a person has done to you.”
“What if I can’t?” My voice broke with the gut-wrenching turmoil I was in.
“Then you stay locked in this prison of your own making.”
“Fucking. A.”
“Of epic proportions,” he concurred. “Piece of advice, it actually becomes comfortable if you’re not careful—a miserable existence that oddly you control. Try not to stay there for too long, ‘kay?”
I barked out a chuckle with no humor behind it. Of all the people that would understand the arctic hell holding me captive, it was my older brother. Yes, arctic did seem to belie hell until you really thought about it. My blood felt like ice coursing through my veins. My heart was a glacier that needed to thaw. If anyone understood that it was Nik. God, he’d been a cold-hearted bastard for years. Had I become one as well without recognizing the signs? I had hidden my sorrow and pain behind a façade of Mr. Laid-Back. Every damn time Sofie was around I could feel the fissures, hear the crackle as she melted me like no other. Problem with that, she was the one who could destroy me. Would I ever truly trust her again?
Nik hugged me hard. “You’re not alone. Remember that.”
On cue, Even entered the restroom. Tension was etched around his eyes, telling me he was still angry. Rightfully so. Before I could offer an apology, he sternly spoke, “You’re needed. Now.”
What the…? I took a fortifying breath before making my way towards the waiting room. Sofie was nowhere to be found as I approached a tearful Aimee. I enfolded her awkwardly since my shoulder was out of commission. “What’s wrong?”
She was crying so hard she couldn’t answer me. E was now standing to the side as I inquired, “What happened?”
Lacey answered “Sofie collapsed,” rising from the chair she’d been sitting in. How the hell had I not seen Lacey there?
My brow scrunched in confusion. “Why?”
Aimee had regained some form of composure. “They aren’t sure. Could be a side effect from the drug she was slipped earlier.”
Holy shit. “The report came back when?”
Lacey responded, “Not long ago.”
Of course we’d known she’d been drugged when James attacked her in the parking garage, but there shouldn’t have been anything to worry about. “Where is she?”
E answered, “She doesn’t want to see you.”
I stood there in shock for a moment and then roared, “Like HELL!” Stepping towards Even and reaching forward, my hands clung tightly around the collar of his shirt. My shoulder protested as I ignored the stabbing pain and hauled him across the room. Next thing I remembered was Nik wrapping a heavily muscled arm around my neck. I attempted to fight back, but, thanks to his professional background in MMA, he subdued me with little effort. By the time I could speak, police had arrived.
Nik released me into their custody and warned, “He’s been shot, officer. Watch his left shoulder.”
“What the fuck, Nik?” I growled through my anger and bewilderment.
“Trust me,” he replied.
The officer who had a hold of my other arm said, “Let’s have a talk, man.”
I knew better than to try and pull away. Plus, I vaguely acknowledged what my brother was doing. I was out of control, a bull in the proverbial china shop. Whether I agreed or liked it, he thought a time-out was necessary. As if I was a fucking three-year-old. Really, this was beyond ridiculous. I moved to go after my brother and handle this like men, not children. Handcuffs greeted me as I was forced to the ground.
“Mother. Fuuuuuuuck,” I hissed when my stitches ripped open.
There was no fight left in me as I was escorted to the ER and sedated. While the drug took effect I thought, way to go asshole. You’ve really outdone yourself this time.
*****
Awakening to an argument just outside the room, I attempted to sit up. Quickly realizing I couldn’t thanks to being restrained to the bed. Fan-fucking-tastic. The door flew open with a bang against the wall. Standing there, the reason my life was in so much mayhem. She was pale, showing how stress had taken its toll on her. How’d I miss that before? Sofie ran towards me. “Oh, Alex.”
As she hugged me, I murmured a plea in her hair, “Kjære. What are we going to do?”
Her tears were flowing freely as she glanced up at me. “I d-don’t,” she stuttered, “kn-know.”
All I could do was rub my face against her since my wrist and elbow were bound to the bed. Really…how did my brother E enjoy this? I shook my head mentally to erase the image. Shit. Bleach would be necessary to get rid of that visual. Sofie was now wiping her thumbs across my cheeks. “I’m sorry, Alex. I’m so sorry.”
I guess it was time to let this dam break. “Sofie,” I swallowed, “listen to me. I’m not sure how to do this. I’m one fucked-up mess. But I do love you.” She gasped at my confession. I leaned up and brushed my lips tenderly across hers where I whispered, “I never stopped loving you.”
She pushed away from me, and I recognized the battle stance. She had to be shown. Um…‘Houston, we have a problem.’ I couldn’t very well hop up and take care of business, considering my predicament. Hence, I had to use what was available—my words. Heaven help me. “Sofia, I know you’ve been through a lot. In due time, I hope you choose to share that part of your past with me. That you will fully trust me. For now…” I took a deep breath “…could we just be broken together?”
Sofie’s gaze slid up my body as her bottom lip trembled. To still it, she bit down. I saw the fight dissipate as tears began to slice down her cheeks. I flattened my palm for her to take. A pregnant pause filled the room. The only noise was our breathing as our eyes locked, silently communicating. Mine were saying, let’s try.
Hers asking, can I really let you in?
I nodded to that and replied, “I love you. Isn’t that enough?”
“I don’t know, Alex.” She shook her head with confusion etched across every feature. Finally she breathed, “You still don’t trust me.”
She was right, of course. Yet I admitted, “I want to.”
Blinking several times, hard, she responded, “Well…that’s a start.”
“I do believe it is.”
With tentative steps, she came towards me. “What if we fuck up?” she queried heartily.
“Ah kjære, we will. That’s a given,” I confessed.
“Then why should we try?”
My poor, sweet girl had been so mistreated she couldn’t comprehend how to make this work. “Because, Sofie,” I declared, “love is worth the fight.”
She inhaled sharply. “Is it? Seems to hurt like a bitch if you ask me?”
There was no holding back my chuckle. “Beautiful things come from the most broken ones.”
H
er head bobbed vigorously. “I’ve noticed that, too.”
I wanted to beg her to curl up on the bed with me, but knew it had to be her choice. I held my breath wondering what she would do with my fractured heart in her hands. Would she squeeze what life was left in it until nothing remained? Or, would she nurture it back to completeness? No, it’d never be fully restored. The scars would always be there. Then again, hers was in the same shape as mine. The image of breathing love into her filled my mind’s eye. Sort of like life to life resuscitation emotionally. Her breath was ragged as she stood there contemplating which path to take. Though I wanted to direct her, the truth remained, I wasn’t completely sure myself. For once, I was letting my heart lead. Foreign concept. Nevertheless, logic wasn’t going to repair this bridge between us. All of a sudden there was a gasp of raw emotion, and then Sofie was on top of me. Her tears wet my face as she kissed me with gentleness and love. To seal the deal she whispered, “I do love you, too. I’ve always loved only you.”
My tears melded with hers as I kissed her back ardently. Telling her with my mouth, all the things I just couldn’t voice. As my tongue twined with hers, the door opened. I broke our kiss and noticed Even standing there. All the while I could see anger etched around his eyes, but the hurt was what gutted me. God, damn, I had caused that. Me, myself and I had wounded him. And I alone would be the only one able to make amends. “E, brother, tell me what I can do?”
Sofie eased off me as she straightened her clothes. She smiled down at me. “I’ll let you two talk.” When she walked past Even, he pulled her into a hug. My blood heated watching my Sofie in the arms of another man. E wasn’t my brother at that moment, he was danger. What the fuck was this volcanic emotion threatening to erupt? As if the Lego pieces in my head finally snapped together completing my structure: jealousy. Holy shit! Now I understood why both Nik and Even growled every time I embraced the women who belonged to them. It was primitive, feral, visceral, although I knew my brother would never, ever take Sofie from me. He shot me a knowing look. Fucker. He inclined his head at me. “Sucks—”
“Big, slimy donkey dicks,” I finished for him, barking out a humorless laugh. I’d had no idea what they went through, until that moment. Mentally shaking off the unreasonable feelings, I stated, “Apparently I need to apologize for a few things.”
Sofie had quietly closed the door, waving at me as she did. God, I loved her a little more with every minute that passed.
E leveled a hard look at me. “Some things just don’t go away because we apologize for them.”
He was right. “Listen, E, I understand.” My hand itched to rake through my hair. “I lied to you for years. You have every fucking reason in the world to hate me.” I shook my head and made a fist. “Matter of fact, I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted anything to do with me again.”
“Whoa!” he bellowed, “Wait just a damn minute!” He began to pace the tiny space, running both hands through his hair. Really was a family trait. “I’m pissed as hell at you. But I still love your sorry ass. You’re not getting rid of me that easily, you dumb fuck!”
My brothers had such a way with words, yet I fully comprehended what he was saying. “I feel ya.”
He shot me wry smile. “Seems I may be rubbing off you some, brother.”
“That you are,” I chuckled.
“Give me time to work through my shit, alright?”
“Anything I can do to make that process a little easier?”
His booming laughter filled the room. “Damn, Alex.” He composed himself. “Always the motherfucking lawyer.”
There was no denying that. At all. I might use strong language but fact remained: The professional was always present and accounted for. Before I could razz him, the lights began to flicker off and on. Above the door a red flashing one lit up. The door burst open with an officer hurrying to my side. He released me from my restraints and ordered, “Stay put. We’re in lock down.” The officer left as abruptly as he had entered.
Even’s and my eyes locked as we both spoke, “What? The. Fuck.”
Neither of us had time to move before Nik rushed in with Aimee, Lacey, and Sofie. He looked at E and then me, answering our question. “Gunman.”
To emphasize, shots erupted down the hall. Screams could be heard as my brothers and I jumped into action. E tossed me my pants as Nik pulled firearms from his ankle holsters. Once locked and loaded, we eased towards the door. Each one of us kissed our women before we crept out into the corridor. Sofie strangled out, “Please be safe,” as the door quietly shut.
The sound of a lock sliding into place was like a hand grenade in the eerie silence. We rounded the corner and Nik’s gasped, “Holy Mother Mary of God,” said it all.
Chapter Fifteen
Sofie
The icy fingers of pure terror traversed over my entire body. My God! I was encapsulated between Aimee and Lacey as we did our best to process what was going on beyond the door of this hospital room.
Aimee broke away first. “I can’t stay here and do nothing.”
But it was Lacey that shocked the hell out of me. She reached inside her purse and pulled out a small, pink revolver. Her eyes met Aimee’s as she declared, “Me either.”
“Wait!” I exclaimed. “The guys asked us to stay here.”
Aimee chortled, “Oh Sofie. Since when do we always do what they say?”
I leveled a look at her. “Since they’ll worry themselves sick, maybe even get hurt, if they know we’re not safe.”
Lacey grinned. “Then we best make sure they don’t find out.”
I stared at the two of them in utter disbelief. Strand men were protective on a normal day, but when all hell broke loose, they became fierce in the need to take care of who was theirs. Going against their wishes was like placing your arm out in front of a rabid wolf, you were going to get bit. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. At least Alex was that way, and from what I could tell of Nik and Even, they were as well. I tried to reason with the two women before me as Aimee pulled a gun from her Michael Kors bag. It was Tiffany blue and semi-automatic. My knowledge of firearms stopped there. “I really think we should do as the boys asked and stay put.”
“We understand if you’d rather not go with us, Sofie,” Lacey acknowledged.
Ya think? Talk about absolute suicide to walk out into the fray unarmed and untrained. Well, I was those things. From the looks of it, both of them knew what the hell they were doing. I had to admit that I respected Nik and Even for making sure the loves of their lives had the wherewithal to protect themselves when the occasion arose. Not for the first time around these ladies, I felt inadequate. As if the powers that be were pointing their boney fingers at me and saying, “You’re not cut out to be with Alex Strand. You never were.”
Aimee pulled me from self-blaming musing with, “Hey, Sofie. Stop beating yourself up. Not everyone has had training with deadly weapons. And not everyone has had to deal with the crap we have. This”—she motioned to her gun and then Lacey’s—“was necessity.”
“Survival one-O-one,” Lacey added.
I nodded with understanding. Alex had shared what they’d all been through the past few weeks. Aimee had been dealing with Senator Caleb Reynolds for longer than that. I couldn’t imagine how she was functioning with the knowledge he wanted to take everything from her. His greatest desire was to take her life. I rubbed my hands over my now crossed arms as the cold enveloped me. They were all in a race. And studying both women, I had to wonder just who would be victorious when all was said and done. Before I could voice another concern, a shot rang out. Boom!
We could hear the chaos transpiring down the corridor and the unmistakable voice of Nik barking out commands: “Stay down. Take cover. On the ground. Now!”
Then the sound of unbearable pain so convoluted I couldn’t tell if it was one of our men or not. I was fairly certain in wasn’t Alex, but still unsure until I watched Lacey go visibly pale. Her gasped, “Oh my God,” confirming we mu
st’ve heard Even.
I prayed earnestly, please, Lord, let him be all right. Before I could reach her, she bolted out the door with Aimee hot on her heels. Unclear to stay or go, I glanced around for some sort of a sign. Right…I was of no use in here. I crept into the corridor totally unprepared for the carnage that met my eyes. Lying in a pool of blood was Even. Lacey wailing with his head nestled in her lap. She, too, looked like something out of a horror flick covered in his blood. As I took in the scene before me, it resembled a battlefield not a hospital. Seemingly everyone within eyesight was either injured or dead. The collective gasp drew my eyes to the far corner where Nik stood like a valiant warrior over the deranged soul who had taken it upon himself to play God with every life he came in contact with that fateful day. How are you so sure it’s the gunman lying in that heap at his feet? Easy…the arsenal strapped to his lifeless body. From the looks of it, he’d had no intentions of letting anyone escape his wrath.
Before I could make the trek over to where Lacey and Even were, the cavalry arrived. Although being ordered to the floor with our hands stretched out in front of us wasn’t a pleasant feeling. A part of my brain supplied the information necessary: They need to know if there’s still a threat. Made perfect sense, even if it was completely unnerving. Once the police were satisfied there was no imminent danger, the commotion became deafening. Wounded were being moved as the rest of the hospital was still in lock down. If you weren’t injured, you were commanded to go to a designated area until every patient and staff member was accounted for. While hating the idea of leaving those I loved, safety precautions had to be taken. The grassy knoll that set at the proper distance from the building became home to my incessant pacing. So preoccupied with what ifs I hadn’t heard Alex’s approach, but his touch I would know anytime, anywhere. As he enfolded me into his embrace, I finally lost all sensibility and sobbed against his chest. After a few minutes of mass hysteria, I choked out, “How’s Even?”
