by Elin Peer
I felt shitty when I called up Christina and lied to her. “Pearl just told me that she received a message that my mother is in the hospital.”
“Oh no, what happened?” she said with all the sympathy of a best friend.
“It’s her heart,” I sniffled and started to cry again because lying like this violated all my values as a human being.
“Oh honey, how can I help?”
“Can you take me to the border?”
“I would, but Boulder isn’t home yet. He has the drone. Didn’t Pearl offer you a ride?”
“Ehm, yes, but I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye to you. How about tomorrow morning then?” I asked. “I want to leave before the children get up.”
“Don’t you think it would be better if you said goodbye to them as well?” Christina suggested. “What if you have to be gone for days or maybe weeks? You know how much they care about you.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want them to see me cry.”
“They’ll understand that you’re scared and sad about your mom being sick.”
“Okay,” I whispered. “I’ll say goodbye to them, then.”
“Maybe you should have Finn drop you off at my house so I can give you a big hug and we can talk.”
I had no doubt that if I went to Christina’s house now, I would tell her everything. But the sympathy of my friend would come with a price. I knew her well enough to know she would do whatever she could to convince me that she, her new baby, Raven, and all the children were reason enough for me to stay. She would tell me not to let a man force me to run away, but I didn’t have the strength to stay and fight.
“No, I need to pack anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow at eight.”
“I’ll be there,” she assured me.
Crawling back into my bed again, I fiddled with the edge of the blanket. My eyes glazed over at the thought of giving out hugs tomorrow morning, and lying about coming back when I knew that I would never be able to return. The thought that I might never see Christina’s baby tore my heart out.
Memories of Christina lying in a bed in the Motherlands, depressed and sad, longing for Boulder, made me cry again. Was that my sad future?
Maybe it would be wiser if I went straight to a place of reflection and isolated myself from everything and everyone. Maybe that’s what I needed to regain some sort of perspective and sanity.
Tears were dripping on my pillow and I wondered how I had ended up like this. When I had first arrived in the Northlands, I had been a strong woman who had no ambition of ever bonding myself to a man. If that strong Kya could’ve seen this broken Kya, she would’ve been disturbed.
CHAPTER 29
The Dream
Kya
After I’d been tossing, turning, and crying for hours, Finn came to check up on me. I couldn’t face him, and kept my back to him asking him to leave me alone. I wanted to explain to him that I was only crying because my mother was sick, but Finn knew my secret, so there was no point in lying to him.
He placed a cup of tea next to my bed and closed the door quietly behind him. Fortunately, the warm liquid helped calm me down; and when sleep finally claimed me it took me to a different dimension where Archer was still in my bed.
“Your hair smells so good,” Archer’s voice crooned behind me.
“Why did you leave me?” I asked him and stretched like a lazy cat. “I had just gotten ready to tell you that I loved you.”
“You should have told me sooner, then I wouldn’t have left you.”
His hands traveled down my hips and I smiled at the sound of his heavy breathing against my ear.
“I missed you,” I breathed.
“Not as much as I missed you,” he whispered and nibbled at my earlobe while moving his hands down to the V of my thighs. “Spread your legs for me, beautiful. That’s right, just like that.”
I moaned as his hands spread my folds and teased my sweet spot with expertise. My body gave a small jerk from the slight pain of his stubble rubbing over my sensitive nipples.
“Careful, my breasts are sore,” I warned.
“Probably because of the pregnancy.” He pushed me down on my back and suckled at my breast. “I’ll be careful. We don’t want to hurt our little miracle.”
When I lifted my head my eyes grew big at the sight of my bulging belly. “When did this happen?”
Archer gave me a teasing smile. “Must have been one of the times I came in you.”
My confusion blurred with the sensations of him making love to me with his fingers, his tongue, and his large erection that drove me to an explosive orgasm before we cuddled up in each other’s arms to rest.
“I love you,” I whispered in to the darkness.
“I love you too,” he whispered back.
“Then why did you marry another woman?”
“I had to, you didn’t give me a choice.”
I woke up disoriented, and with the early morning light came the deep suffocating sadness of knowing that Archer’s marriage would be consummated by now. Maybe while I was lying here dehydrating from crying, he was planting kisses on Lori Ann’s lips. Yes, I could practically hear Archer telling his lovely new ballerina wife that he couldn’t wait to introduce her to all his children at the school. Torturing myself further, I imagined him telling her about me on the way here, probably complaining about all the nonsense he had to put up with from the “Momsi teacher.”
Stop! The command came from a hidden source of strength within me. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You can fall apart when you cross the border, but right now you need to get ready to leave.
Lifting my hand, I checked the time. 6:15 a.m. I still had time before Christina would pick me up and take me to the border. It was Saturday and on the weekends, we always allowed the kids to stay in bed until eight instead of the usual seven o’clock morning call.
My stomach rumbled loudly, calling for food, but I had no appetite and would probably just throw up if I attempted to eat anything.
At least drink some water or tea.
My body was sore, like I had aged twenty years overnight, but I got out of bed and dressed before I walked outside to see the morning sun making the dew on the grass glisten like little jewels. A few birds were reminding me that for everyone else in the universe, this was a normal Saturday.
The tightness in my chest returned when I thought about what I had to do. I didn’t want to say goodbye to all my students, but I had no choice. My tear ducts were leaking again and I remembered the confusing dream of Archer and me. He had said I hadn’t given him a choice, but it wasn’t true. I’d sent him a text.
But by then it had been too late. With my head full of self-blame and sadness, I made my way to the kitchen to make myself a cup of morning tea. But I never got that far, because in the kitchen, leaning casually against the counter with a cup of coffee in his hands, stood Archer.
I stiffened and stared at him.
“Good morning,” he said and blew down into his coffee cup. “You couldn’t sleep either?”
I was worried that my legs might collapse under me but miraculously managed to find my voice. “I thought you weren’t coming back until later today.”
“You sound hoarse, what happened to your voice?”
My hand flew to my throat. I couldn’t tell him that I was hoarse because I had been crying over him all night. “It’s nothing.” And then without thinking, I asked the question that I didn’t want an answer to. “Where is your wife? Why didn’t you stay there for your wedding night?”
“Because I wanted to have a ceremony here where the children could witness it.”
“You’re getting married here?”
Squinting his eyes, Archer took a sip of the hot coffee. “Yup. I talked to Khan about it last night and he agreed it would be a fun experience for the children to witness a wedding.”
With my eyes fixed on his coffee cup, I avoided looking straight at him when I spoke. “I’m sure the kids will
enjoy that, but they were planning to welcome you and your bride back with a nice banner.”
Archer angled his head but didn’t say anything, so I turned to leave.
“Khan will be here at nine.” His words made me stop. “I was thinking we could wake up the kids a little earlier today. You know, to give them time to get ready for the ceremony.”
Clearing my throat, I licked my lips and finally turned around to look straight into his eyes. “Archer, I can’t stay for the ceremony.”
He frowned. “You have to.”
“You can’t make me.” He was being completely unreasonable and any minute now Lori Ann, the ballerina, could come dancing in and kiss him in front of me. I needed to get away from here, right now.
“You made a promise,” he said and set down his coffee cup.
“What are you talking about? You didn’t even tell me about the tournament. When did I promise to watch you get married?”
He stalked over and held up his wristband in front of my eyes. “Don’t marry her. Marry me!” he read aloud. “I would say that constitutes a fucking promise, and if you try to change your mind on me now, I’m going to spank you until you change your mind right back.”
My legs grew wobbly and my hands flew up to hold on to the doorframe. “But you, you, you…” I stammered. “You got married yesterday, I saw you.”
“You didn’t see me get married.”
My eyes darted around the room while I tried to clear my head. “I saw her pick you,” I insisted.
“Uh-huh.” Archer leaned in and planted a kiss on my cheek while I stood stiffly with eyes large and confused. “And then what did you see?” he asked.
“Then I ran,” I admitted in a small voice.
“So did I.”
“You ran?”
“Well, not literally. But I showed Khan your text message and told him I couldn’t marry her.”
“In front of the whole nation?” I asked in a high pitch.
“Yes, your timing really stunk.”
My hands were shaking when my tears started running again.
“It wasn’t just your text, though,” he said and brushed away one of my tears. “Finn texted me too.”
“He did?”
Archer showed me Finn’s text that simply said, “Kya loves you.”
“I never told him that,” I said quickly. “How did he know?”
“So, it’s true then?” A slow smile grew on his handsome face. “You do love me?”
I looked around the kitchen, trying to determine that this was reality and not just another one of my confused dreams.
“Kya, I just asked you a pretty important question,” Archer said and made me look at him. “Do you love me?”
The answer was screaming from my insides but my voice translated it into a small soft “Yes.”
“Yes?” he asked and this time I nodded and smiled at him.
“Yes, I love you and I’m sorry I was so slow to realize it.”
He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. “You don’t know how happy that makes me.”
I waited for him to open his eyes again but this time a small triangle formed between his eyebrows as he frowned at me. “If you love me, then why the hell did we have to go through all of this? Why didn’t you just say yes when I asked you to marry me?”
“Because I didn’t know then,” I defended myself while letting my hands roam across his strong chest. “I’m afraid I’m going to wake up and realize this is just a dream.” My eyebrows shot up. “Wait, when did you get back from the tournament? I had a dream about you and we made love.”
Archer’s lips pursed upward. “Sounds like a wonderful dream, but I’m afraid we didn’t make it that far. I came home around two in the morning and went straight over to talk to you, but you were so hard to wake up that I just crawled in and slept next to you for a few hours.
“We didn’t talk?”
“I talked a little, you snored.”
“I don’t snore,” I said with a soft smile. “And I think that in my dream I answered you, because I remember us having a whole conversation.”
“Uh-huh, but you also remember us making love and that didn’t happen either.”
By instinct, I moved back when we heard noises from the door.
“Don’t you dare,” Archer muttered and pulled me back into his arms. “No more secrets. It’s time the world knows that you’re mine.”
Finn came in rubbing his eyes and yawning. “Morning, you two. I’m surprised to see you up, Kya.”
“Why?”
“Because of the sleeping pill I gave you.”
“What sleeping pill?”
“Sweetheart, surely you remember me checking in on you with a cup of tea?”
“Yes,” I said slowly.
“It was one in the morning and you were crying so hard that I had to help you somehow. I crushed a sleeping pill into the tea.”
“You drugged me,” I accused him.
“It was either that or gagging you so I could get some peace and quiet.” He winked at me and yawned again.
“That explains why you were impossible to wake up,” Archer said and moved us aside when Finn pushed past us to get a cup of coffee.
“Kya and I are getting married today. Khan is coming over at nine to do the ceremony.”
“Congratulations – wait, did you say nine?” Finn lifted his wristband. “That’s in a little over two hours. Who the hell marries at nine in the morning?”
“We do,” Archer said firmly. “Right out there in front of the school with all the kids as witnesses.
“Why not do it tonight?” he asked.
“Because I’m not going to give Kya time to come up with an excuse not to marry me,” Archer said firmly and added, “Boulder is bringing over Christina too.”
I folded my teeth around my lower lip, shamefully remembering my lie to Christina about my mother being sick.
“What’s wrong?”
“Ehhm, there’s a chance that Christina is going to be upset with me.”
“Oh yeah? How so?” Archer asked.
“I… ehhm, well…” Sighing heavily, I finally spit it out so fast that I practically stumbled over my own words. “I thought you had married the ballerina and I didn’t want to be here when you got back with her, so I told Christina my mom was in the hospital and that I needed a lift to the border. Also, she doesn’t know about us and she won’t like that I have kept something that big a secret from her.”
Archer looked down and Finn broke the awkward silence by holding up his cup of coffee and backing out of the kitchen. “I’ll let you two figure this out while I go take my morning dump.”
Archer kept his focus on me. “I saw the suitcase in your room, but I never imagined that you would leave the school. I honestly didn’t think I meant that much to you.”
“You didn’t seriously think I could live here and watch you be married to another woman, did you?” I asked.
Archer gave me a sad smile. “It would’ve been a doomed marriage between me and Lori Ann. I mean, with me being in love with you and jealous of any man you took for your new lover. You will never know how relieved I was when I got your text.”
“I watched you when you read my text,” I said slowly. “And there was no reaction on your face.”
“You might’ve watched my face, but you didn’t feel my heart racing or my spine tingle.”
“But you looked straight at her.”
“I was crossing my fingers behind my back and hoping that she wouldn’t choose me,” Archer said.
“What happened to her?” I was ashamed that I hadn’t thought of poor Lori Ann, who had been left with three trolls to choose from.
“She chose Kennedy instead of me.”
“The one without teeth?” I asked and wrinkled up my nose.
Archer nodded. “Once his teeth are replaced and his face isn’t swollen anymore, he’ll look himself again. Kennedy is actually not bad-looking and Magni says he has a great
sense of humor.”
“Still, she must’ve been very disappointed.”
“Yeah, but at least Kennedy was howling with joy while I would’ve been pining for you.”
“You really gave up one million dollars for me?”
Archer broke out in a small chuckle. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but living out here on this isolated island, there isn’t a lot for me to spend money on anyway. Besides, Boulder gave me half of his prize money when he married Christina.”
“Thank you for choosing me,” I whispered and couldn’t help my eyes tearing up again.
“I’m just grateful that you wrote that text. All the way back here, I kept thinking about how close I came to losing you.”
Our peace was over when the children started to move around.
“Finn says we’re not going running this morning,” Storm said when he found us.
“That’s right, we have something else planned,” Archer said matter-of-factly.
I was waiting for Storm to comment on the fact that we stood closely together with Archer holding his arms around me, but Storm just yawned before he moved on.
“Is that boy blind?” I asked.
“Nope, he’s just a self-absorbed teenage boy.” Archer leaned in and gently bit my earlobe. “Now I suggest you get ready for our big day before all the other children start to ask us questions.”
CHAPTER 30
The Ceremony
Archer
Last night, I had been two minutes away from getting married to Lori Ann in front of the entire nation. I’d been nervous then with all sorts of crazy thoughts going through my mind.
And yet compared to this ceremony, yesterday had been a tranquil experience.
Standing in front of the school, with Kya by my side and Khan in front of us, I was a nervous wreck.
It was mid-September and my favorite season had fallen upon us. The beautiful symphony of yellow, red, purple, and green colors of the forest made the surroundings perfect for a small, intimate wedding.
The twenty children stood in a half circle around us with Finn, Shelly, Marco, and Magni, who had been there at the tournament yesterday and insisted that he wouldn’t want to miss the wedding.
