by Marisa Logan
Working her way backwards over the last five years only served to remind her of how much she’d invested in her dream of ‘happily ever after’ with Dylan. She always thought it was a dream that they both shared and had no reason to think otherwise. For goodness sake, they’d even gone out and bought some furniture together and had been looking at real estate ads for a couple of years. The only thing that had been missing was a formal proposal, a ring to seal the deal and a date to conclude the matter. There’d always been some rational sounding reason to put off that ‘next step’ in their relationship. Of course, now she was forced to admit that those reasons usually came from Dylan and she’d always gone along with his explanations.
A classic picture of the whole Conrad family gathered for her Grandmother’s 87th birthday, with Dylan standing right in the middle of the group, forced her to pause. She couldn’t help but notice her mother on the other side of him holding on to his arm with a big smile on her face as if she’d reeled in the biggest fish ever. Even her normally skeptical father had been taken in by the young man’s well-bred mannerisms and smooth demeanor. She feared their reaction to Dylan’s betrayal almost more than her own emotional storm.
Pictures like these couldn’t simply be deleted and her photo editing skills weren’t really up to the task of making him disappear. She sighed and tossed the phone off to the side. Maybe it was time for a new phone and a new laptop, a new apartment AND a new job where no one remembered the beautiful flowers that came to her desk on every romantic occasion.
Worst of all was the shame of finding out just how deep the treachery of Dylan’s deception went when it was revealed in all of its gory details at an office holiday party. She knew the next ‘scandal of the month’ would eventually erase her infamous scene as she was confronted by the ‘other woman’ living in the shadows of Dylan’s life, but she would always bear the scars. Conversations at the water cooler still stopped suddenly when she walked into sight and her imagination was quick to explain the reason why.
She got up and walked into the kitchen hoping to find some way to distract her from the situation, but as she scanned the empty shelves of the refrigerator, she knew it was going to take more than food to fill this void. She needed a major change in direction, at least for a while. Just going out to ‘their’ favorite grocery store or calling for take-out was fraught with enough memory potholes to trip her up.
Lauren Conrad's lifelong dream was to write the ‘great American novel’, but working as a journalist allowed her to satisfy the urge to express her thoughts on a daily basis. She loved her job at the magazine and was well along the way to reaching the top of her field. She had her own by-line and a string of faithful readers that kept up with her articles in every issue. Most of the people she’d gone to college with had long since given up on finding their own niche in the publishing world. It was a tough field with a lot of competition for the best slots. She was happy with her own small successes, well, at least she had been, up until now.
The sudden ringing of her cell phone caused her to freeze in mid-step. Suspended in the short distance from the kitchen and the living room, her mind raced with a dozen reasons for a call at this late hour. Concern for her family finally overcame all other thoughts and she hurried to dig the phone out from between the couch cushions. The sight of her cousin’s goofy face under a pair of moose antlers almost brought a smile to her face as she scrambled to connect before it slipped to voice mail.
Amber’s voice burst out of the speaker with all of her usual energy and enthusiasm and Lauren barely managed a mumbled ‘hello’ before she was overwhelmed with a surge of information. Amber talked for three minutes before she stopped long enough to even check if she had an audience.
“Lauren, Lauren. Are you there? Are you listening to me?
“Yes, darling, I’m here, but you are aware that it’s two o’clock in the morning here,” Lauren asked with a half-smile in her voice.
Amber paused for a moment to consider this idea before she launched into another burst of chatter that ran together into an indecipherable mess to Lauren’s sleep-deprived brain. She managed another three or four minutes of ongoing dialogue before stopping to ask a question. Lauren’s mind drifted as her cousin talked about her latest scheme.
Amber was Lauren’s younger cousin by only three months. The two of them had spent their summers together at their grandparent’s farm. When their grandfather’s death forced their grandmother to give up the farm, she’d moved to live closer to Lauren’s parents in the city. The two girls continued to spend their summers with her there until they both went to college and eventually in their own separate directions.
Amber was currently living out her latest adventure in Alaska and every phone call was a riveting tale of close encounters with wild animals and other harrowing exploits. Lauren envied her cousin’s free-spirit and often wondered if she’d somehow missed out by jumping into her career right out of college. She’d forgone adventures for a chance to get on that first rung of the corporate ladder.
Amber didn’t have the pile of worries that came with maintaining a full-time job and the other responsibilities that were included in having that kind of life. She lived season to season and adapted to whatever challenges came her way with a carefree attitude. The men in her life seemed to change with the seasons and moving on never seemed to bother her. It was just part of her adventure.
‘She also doesn’t have a broken heart or broken dreams’, Lauren thought with a sigh. Her thoughts were interrupted by Amber’s sudden silence as she waited for an answer to her question.
“I’m sorry, Amber. What was your question?” Lauren asked.
“I wanted to know, what do you think about my idea? Amber huffed impatiently. “Are you ready to take some time off and have an adventure of your own yet, or not?”
Lauren’s mind reeled at the thought that perhaps this call was the answer to her prayers and maybe this was the fork in the road that she desperately needed. She had absolutely no idea what Amber had proposed or even what it would require of her if she said yes, but the desire to say yes was far stronger than anything resembling her usual common sense.
Later she would attribute this lapse in judgment to a lack of chocolate or simply sleep deprivation, but right now, she was seeing a life line being extended to her and everything in her shouted out to grab hold and hang on. She knew Amber would never put her into danger or compromise her safety in any way and letting go of her fears might get her back on track in her own life. Casting aside every consideration, she said the one word that would change everything…. “Yes”.
Chapter 2
The next few weeks kept Lauren too busy to fully consider the magnitude of the commitment she’d made to Amber. Moving to Alaska from Boston was no small task, even if it was only for a year. The list of things she needed to do was formidable enough, but she secretly relished the distraction of it all.
Once she got over the shock of what she’d agreed to, her one saving thought was that somehow, some ‘thing’ would cause everything to fall apart and she wouldn’t have to actually follow through on her word.
Arranging a leave of absence from her job went smoothly enough much to her surprise. Her editor was very supportive about her writers taking sabbaticals to refresh their creativity. Lauren’s request was met with a level of enthusiasm that shook her confidence just a bit. She figured it was common enough to consider oneself to be irreplaceable, but the truth is that no one really carries that much weight. Her ‘loyal’ readers would simply move on and find another ‘favorite’ when she was gone.
Subletting her apartment for a year was another hurdle to be faced as she didn’t want to totally give it up. She’d stumbled into this place right out of college and her memories here went back pre-Dylan by more than a few years. It would be near impossible to find another place in this city with the right location and rent control. She posted a notice about wanting to sublet on the bulletin board at work and within an hour,
she had three interested parties vying for her favor. It didn’t take long to make a choice and work out the details.
Packing up her personal belongings and putting them into storage took a while longer, but she used it as an opportunity to purge everything that tied back to that ‘man’. Hauling it all to the nearest thrift shop and donating it for a ‘good cause’ gave her a small measure of satisfaction. It felt good to erase those traces of his presence from her life. Wiping the dust from her hands as she turned in the last box, she quietly vowed to swear off men for at least a year, maybe two or three.
Her wilderness adventure far from the dating scene and the social pressure would give her time to reassess her expectations and hopes for love and marriage. If she’d understood her cousin’s description of their location for the next year, there was little chance of romance with their nearest neighbors being bear, moose and wolves. She could focus on her writing and hone her survival skills at the same time, well, if she had any survival skills beyond finding the best latte or most reliable dry cleaner in town.
Her final loose end was breaking the news to her parents. She’d managed to bring them down gently in regards to her breakup with Dylan, but put off telling them about Alaska for as long as possible.
Family gatherings usually included talk about Amber’s gypsy lifestyle and lack of direction. Her parents were always pointing out to her how proud they were of her accomplishments at the magazine. She wasn’t sure how they would respond to her pulling up roots and running off to the wilderness to join her cousin.
She decided to enlist her grandmother’s support for her plan first to ensure she would have at least one ally on her side. Her grandmother was a strong, independent woman that had chosen her own path in life. She’d always been a powerful influence for Lauren and Amber as she’d encouraged them to find their own way. Lauren was sure that she would be thrilled to hear of this joint adventure between her two ‘girls’. Her only regret would be the distance between them and the fact that she wouldn’t be able to go along herself. Lauren wasn’t disappointed when she laid out her plans for the next year to her mentor.
Now it was time to face her parents and enlist their support. She arranged a nice, quiet dinner for the four of them at a nearby restaurant. She knew it was a bit cheap to use public decorum as a way of avoiding an emotional scene, but her mother was prone to use histrionics when things weren’t to her liking. Her father was much more circumspect in his responses to such matters. She wasn’t too worried about his reaction.
Their salads were on the table before Lauren had worked up her courage for her big announcement. She was in the middle of taking a deep breath to begin her speech when her mother interrupted.
“So, Sweetheart, are you going to tell us what this is all about or do we have to wait until after dessert? The suspense is killing me,” her mother quipped with a smile.
Lauren tried to cover up her surprise with a big gulp of water, but only succeeded in watering down the front of her blouse. As everyone scrambled for napkins, Lauren snuck a look at her grandmother who was calmly cutting up her salad seemingly unaware of the sudden tension at the table. Clearly, she was leaving this to Lauren’s discretion and wasn’t going to be the one to set things off.
“Well, Mom, and Dad….,” Lauren stammered, suddenly at a loss for words.
Her mind frantically sorted through all of the opening lines she’d so carefully rehearsed, but nothing was working. For a writer, words were her talent, but dialogue had never been her strong suit. She cast a look around the restaurant hoping for some other distraction, but the waiter was busy at another table and there was no help to be found.
“So, when are you leaving for Alaska,” her grandmother asked with a big grin.
The sudden silence at their table was broken only by the sound of her grandmother taking a large bite of her salad and chewing it loudly. Lauren’s parents were both staring at their daughter in amazement. It couldn’t have been more startling if she’d announced that she’d been selected to go to the moon as the first journalist ever.
Her father reached over and picked up his fork and began eating his own salad. His wife looked at him in astonishment and then turned back to her daughter.
“Just what does she mean, “when are you leaving for Alaska”,” her mother asked tersely. Her lower lip trembled, but she managed to stay calm.
Lauren figured there wasn’t much point in dragging this out or trying to soften the blow so she quickly laid out Amber’s plan for the next year. She interjected her own thoughts about writing that novel she was always talking about, but never seemed to have time to start. Adding in her need for some time away to recover from her recent breakup, she tried to plead her case while heading off any drama about her decision. Her father and grandmother kept nodding in all the right places while her mother sat there as if frozen in her chair.
Lauren couldn’t read the look on her face, nor anticipate her next response. She was completely unprepared when it came.
“That sounds like a wonderful plan, Sweetheart,” her mother began. “I’m so happy that you’re finally going to have an adventure or two of your very own.”
With that said, she picked up her fork and began to eat leaving Lauren with a look of complete astonishment at this turn of events. She didn’t even blink when her grandmother snuck her a look and gave her a wink and a grin. It appeared that all of the hurdles were behind her and Alaska lay ahead.
Chapter 3
Lauren’s plane landed in Anchorage with a bump and a bang as an overhead bin sprang open dumping its contents into the empty seat below. Fortunately, all of the surrounding passengers escaped injury and everyone had a laugh at the relief of finally being back on the ground. This was the not the final leg in Lauren’s journey, but it was the last leg she’d travel in a ‘real’ airplane. From here on, she would be relying on the wilderness honed skills of ‘bush’ pilots, according to her cousin, Amber.
Lauren didn’t want to put too much thought into that as flying had never been one of her favorite modes of transportation. She was happy to gather her things and get off of this plane alive. The creaks and groans of the aging plane had given her fits all the way from Seattle. She was sure it was going to fall apart and drop them in a fiery death spiral at any given moment. This was one of those times when she was sure it would have been better to spend a little more on her ticket. Saving a few bucks didn’t always work in one’s best interests.
Knowing that Anchorage was the largest city in Alaska, Lauren wasn’t too surprised to find the modern looking airport rivaled the ones she was used to on the East coast. Although it was barely spring, the arrival gates were bustling with the early seasonal workers and a few tourists hoping to get ahead of the summer influx. Lauren couldn’t help but feel a bit smug that she was here for more than just a brief tour of the largest state in the nation. She was actually going to ‘live’ here and go through an entire winter. Just the thought of it, gave her the shivers, more from excitement than cold, though that would come later. She paused for a moment to get her bearings.
A shout of joy broke into her thoughts as she recognized her cousin’s voice calling to her from across the way. Amber wasn’t one to stand on protocol and had never cared about making a scene in public. Lauren winced as she spotted her cousin running towards her waving both hands in the air. She knew she was about to get pounced on and there was no avoiding it. Dropping her bags, she steeled herself to be overwhelmed. Amber didn’t disappoint her, turning their reunion into a full-on event.
As Lauren stared at the beautiful young woman standing before her, she realized that more than 10 years had passed since they’d last seen each other. Gone were the two young girls that had grown up together, and gone were the college students that had shared a dorm room. Their twenties had been spent a continent apart with a smattering of e-mails and phone calls holding them together. Now that they were both in their early thirties, Lauren wondered how their new relationship would
reflect the missing years and life experiences between them. There was no time to consider this as Amber grabbed the two closest bags and started to hustle her out of the airport.
“Come on. We’ve got to hurry. I’m double-parked outside and they can get ugly about that here at the airport,” she said abruptly.
She led the way out through a side door to a beat-up old pick-up waiting by the curb. Effortlessly tossing the bags into the back of the truck she ran around and jumped in the driver’s side while Lauren struggled to follow her lead and heave the rest of her luggage over the rusty side of the truck without getting her clothes dirty.
Amber didn’t seem to notice her cousin’s reluctance to climb up into the torn and dirty seat in her stylish pencil skirt and white blouse. She was busy grinding the starter and looking around for the closest exit. The truck roared to life and she slammed it into gear just as Lauren managed to pull the bulky door closed. She fell back into the seat and nearly screamed as a pile of mangy fur let out a yelp and jumped up towards her. The dog stared at her in surprise and then turned round and curled back up on the seat.
Amber reached over and patted the mound of fur before turning her attention back to the afternoon traffic.
“Never mind her,” she said. “Maggie wouldn’t hurt a fly and she’s not much of a people dog. It’ll take her a while to get used to you, but she will.”
As Lauren breathlessly watched her cousin dodge traffic and tear around corners, she realized that one thing had definitely not changed. Amber still drove like a teenager on a joy ride. She didn’t relax her grip on the edge of the seat until they’d screeched to a halt in front of what appeared to be an old warehouse on the outskirts of the city.
“We’re going to be staying here for a couple of days until Carson gets back from his run. That’ll give us some time to get you outfitted for winter and order up some supplies,” Amber said as she jumped out of the truck. “Then he’ll fly us up to the homestead so we can get acclimated before the Dorman’s head off to Greenland. They plan to teach us everything we need to know in the next few weeks before they leave. I sure hope you’re ready for this.”
