“We haven’t,” I replied. I left it at that, hoping Prax would take the hint that I wasn’t really up for a heart-to-heart discussion with this guy.
I walked past them to a corner of the sparring room where I’d stashed a few of my things, including a towel to wipe myself off with. I could hear them both following me.
“Colonel Bragg has issued his official statement. Medics swept the battlefield at Barrowton looking for any remaining survivors and taking record of the dead,” Prax spoke up.
I stopped. All the little prickly hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. “And?”
“They never found his body—or Jace’s for that matter. But his dragon was sighted in the area with an empty saddle,” he answered quietly. “Some of the other riders report having seen them engaging the gray elf princess in aerial combat. They saw her shoot Jace’s mount down. Jaevid was right on his tail, so … we can only assume …”
“—That he’s dead. Yep. Thanks. Figured that much out on my own, you know, when he didn’t come back.” I scowled at them both, hoping it would be enough to stop this conversation from going any further.
It wasn’t.
Prax turned his attention to the silent infantryman standing next to him. “We cleaned out their room. There wasn’t much left behind, but Jae’s brother here insisted you should have it.”
That’s when I noticed Roland was holding something. It was a mostly empty burlap sack. He held it out to me with a tense expression. “They tell me you two were close.”
I didn’t want to take it. Just the thought of seeing what was in there made me start to feel nauseated all over again. “Shouldn’t this be given to his family?”
“That’s why I’m giving it to you.” Roland fixed his gaze right on me. “I know how you must feel about me. And you’re right to despise me. I can only imagine the things Jaevid told you about me let alone the rest of our family. I won’t deny any of it. But I never laid a hand on him. Not even once.”
I snatched the bag away from him. “Some might argue that joining in and just standing by and watching it happen are basically the same thing.”
Roland hesitated. Slowly, his eyes moved down until he was staring at the floor. “We were both trapped in that house, both suffering at the hands of the same man. Jaevid never knew how many beatings I took for him, how many nights I would sleep by my bedroom door so I’d hear if Ulric went outside after him. My every waking thought was about how I could get out of there. But I couldn’t just run away and leave Jaevid there alone. I would have never done that to him. So I waited until Ulric came back from Blybrig and told us he’d been adopted by the dragonriders. Then I left.”
An uncomfortable silence settled over us. I’m sure Prax was learning a lot more about the Broadfeather family than he ever cared to. After a few seconds I cleared my throat, crammed the bag of Jae’s belongings under the rest of my gear, and nodded. “Actually, he didn’t talk about his family life much.”
“I suppose that shouldn’t surprise me,” Roland sighed. “I just thought, since you were closest with him, you ought to have what was left of his things. He’d probably want it that way. And considering the circumstances, I wanted to thank you in person.”
“Thank me?”
“Yes. I’m not trying to be condescending. But I am grateful that you were willing to step in and befriend him. Someone of your social standing—”
I stopped him right there. “That never had anything to do with it. It wasn’t charity.”
He nodded. “I understand. I’m just saying that there aren’t many others who would be willing to jeopardize their reputation. You’re a better man than most. And I want you to know I appreciate that.”
“Ah.” This was beginning to make me really uncomfortable. I began picking up my stuff and planning a quick exit.
“I also wanted to ask if there was anyone else we should inform,” Roland added, as I slung my bag of gear over my shoulder. “Did he ever mention having a lover?”
Once again, my body locked up involuntarily. I hadn’t even thought about her. Did she know? Who was I kidding … of course she didn’t know. I cursed under my breath and flashed Prax a telling glance. Someone was going to have to tell Beckah Derrick what had happened.
“I’m willing to do it,” Roland offered. I guess he could read my expressions well enough to tell what I was thinking.
I clenched my teeth. “No. I’ll do it. She should hear it from me. I’m the one she’ll blame.”
The trouble was, I didn’t know how I was going to find her. Beckah lurked on the edge of every battlefield, haunting our blind spots like some kind of avenging angel. To my knowledge, she’d been keeping her distance from the riders otherwise, which was smart since she was playing a dangerous game. Being the only female dragonrider wasn’t something to be proud of. It might earn her the hangman’s noose or the business end of a sword if anyone found out her real identity.
If anyone could actually catch her, that is. Being paired up with a king drake, the biggest and baddest of all the dragons in Maldobar, put her at a big advantage over the rest of us.
I had my work cut out for me. As soon as I managed to shake off the pity brigade, I headed straight for my room and started thinking of ways to get in contact with her. I didn’t know where she was hiding out between battles, though. Jae might have known, but if they had a secret lovey-dovey rendezvous spot, he’d never spoken a word about it to me. That sneaky devil.
I decided to look for clues when I got back to my room. I dumped out the burlap sack of his belongings onto my bed and began to look through them. There wasn’t much. It was mostly spare uniform pieces and a few bundles of letters tied together with twine. I hesitated to go through those because that kind of stuff was probably pretty personal. What right did I have to go digging around in his private life?
Then again, what did it matter now? And one of those letters might contain a clue about how to get in touch with Beckah.
Hesitantly, I untied one of the bundles and opened up a few of the letters. None of them were helpful, really, and going through them gave me an eerie feeling. It just felt wrong.
Finally, I came to one that looked like it hadn’t been opened in a while. The address scribbled across the front said it was from Saltmarsh, a town down on the southern coast. I’d never been there, never had a reason to. It was a port city, home to mostly fisherman and hired hands looking for shifts on the merchant ships that came and went from the harbor.
Seeing that address struck a chord in my memory. Jae had mentioned to me before that Beckah and the rest of her family lived there. He’d visited them before the start of our avian year. When I opened up the letter, I found only one line scribbled inside. There wasn’t a signature, either. Just two initials:
— B. D.
They had to be Beckah’s.
I knew she wouldn’t be there. It was a long flight between Saltmarsh and Northwatch, too long for her to be going back and forth every time there was a battle. Heck, I couldn’t even be sure her family still lived at that address, either. Sile struck me as kind of a shady character, like he had something to hide. He might just pick up and leave without saying anything. But this was the best lead I had. I was going to have to start there and hope for the best.
I lit a candle and took out a few sheets of fresh paper. I wrote three letters. The first one was to Sile Derrick, letting him know what happened and where he could find me. The second one was to my commanding officer, Colonel Bragg, who was in charge of all the dragonriders here at the citadel.
And the last one … was to my mom.
“Is this what you nobles do? Tuck your tail and run every time something doesn’t go your way?” Prax was looming over me, yelling loudly enough to get the attention of everyone in the dining hall.
I’d just told him and the rest of Emerald Flight what I intended to do. I’d thought it over. After sleeping on it for a few nights, I was sure. I was turning
in my formal resignation to Colonel Bragg first thing in the morning. It was time to go home.
Obviously Prax didn’t agree with my decision. I guess he thought yelling and embarrassing me in front of everyone would make me change my mind. Heh, yeah right. My dad had tried that too, when he was alive. It didn’t work.
“I’m not running.” I kept my cool. I knew Prax could crush my neck like an overripe banana if he wanted to, but I was willing to chance that he wouldn’t actually hit me. “I’m just done, that’s all. I don’t have to justify myself to you or anyone else.”
His glare was smoldering. “You’re making a big mistake, boy.”
“Probably. I’ve made a lot of those recently.”
“These are your brothers. You’re abandoning them,” he fumed, gesturing to the rest of our flight.
I have to admit—that sort of got to me. I had to bite my tongue to keep from flying off the handle and giving him the all-out brawl he was probably hoping for. “No. My brother is dead. The rest of you will be fine without me.”
I looked around at the rest of the riders in my flight. There weren’t many of us left. Six, counting Jaevid and Jace, were gone now. Those of us left behind would never be the same. I guess that was why I didn’t get the same resentful sense from the rest of them that I was getting from Prax. I hoped they understood, but told myself it wouldn’t matter if they didn’t.
Either way, I was as good as gone.
And why not? The war was more or less over. Barrowton had been the last outpost of enemy forces on our soil. That’s why the elves fought so fiercely to keep it, and why we’d been so determined to take it back. Driving them out meant sending what was left of their army fleeing back into the god-forsaken jungle they’d come out of. Not even their legendary battle princess could turn the tide now. I didn’t know what the king’s next move would be, if he’d pursue them any further or not, and I had no intention of sticking around to find out. My work here was done.
“I appreciate everything you’ve done for me,” I told him. Then I offered to shake his hand. Prax didn’t respond except to narrow his eyes at me threateningly.
As I walked away, I could still feel the heat of his glare on my back. I’m sure there was a lot more he wanted to yell at me, a lot left unsaid, but I wasn’t sticking around for that. With Jae gone, my last good excuse for not going back home was spent. I was pushing my luck by staying away this long in the first place. I’d risked making a mockery of my family’s good name, an offense my mom would never let me live down.
It didn’t take me long to pack up my stuff. Like most dragonriders, I traveled light. Necessities only, for the most part. I didn’t have a lot of sentimental crap to lug around with me. The only people who wrote me letters were extended relatives and old girlfriends trying to suck up and get on my good side. That tends to happen when you’re destined for any seat of power—everyone wants a slice of the pie. So I didn’t hang onto any of those letters.
Sure, maybe some of them had actually liked me—girlfriends, not relatives. The rules are different for nobles of my standing, though. Heck, the whole game is different. You have to keep one eye on your pocket at all times because you never know who’s going to try sticking their greedy paws in and swiping whatever they can. I’d already learned that once, the hard way, and I wasn’t about to be the moron who fell for the same trick twice.
Don’t get me wrong; girls were good fun—especially drunk, pretty ones. But I didn’t trust them. I didn’t even trust my own family members. The only person I had ever really trusted was dead now. Jae had never gone after my money or anything else I might have been able to give him. Money and social standing had never mattered to him. He always acted like he didn’t understand any of it, and every time I’d ever bought him anything, it seemed to embarrass him.
I stuffed what was left of his belongings into my bag. I still wasn’t sure what to do with all that stuff. I’d think of something later. For now, I just wanted to get out of here as fast as humanly possible.
With everything else ready to go, I left my gear stacked by my bed and made my way to the highest level of the tower, where the dragons were stabled. I wasn’t leaving until the next morning, but I didn’t want to chance running into anyone who might want to lecture me or try to change my mind again.
The stables were quiet and dim, with only a few torches lighting the corridor that ran down the center of the long, circular level. On either side, dragons were snoozing away inside their stalls. It was late and I was confident no one else would be up here at this time of night.
I rolled open the door to my dragon’s stable. Nova raised her head, blinking at me sleepily with her bright, sea-green eyes. She yawned, showing off all her teeth.
She must have been able to tell that I was not all right because when I came over to check her tack, I felt a blast of hot breath on the back of my head. And when I turned around, she was right there—inches from my nose—looking at me inquisitively.
“You ready to get outta here, baby doll?” I rubbed her snout and scratched under her chin.
She just puffed another hot, smelly breath in my face.
I didn’t know if she could understand me the same way she seemed to have understood Jae. I didn’t have the freaky powers he did. But just having her there was a comfort. As of now, she was the only real friend I had left.
I dragged all our saddlery to the middle of the stall and began polishing and checking over every inch of it. It was habit, I guess. Habit and frustration.
Meanwhile, Nova curled around me like a huge wall of bronze, brown, and black scales. I’d always liked her coloring, even though it probably seemed drab to everyone else. Her patterning reminded me of a snake, or the striping on a cat. It was unique.
She plopped her big head down on the floor next to me and watched me work for a long time. I listened to the rhythmic sound of her breathing and tried not to wonder where Jae’s dragon was. Mavrik had been caught in the wild, not bred and hatched like Nova. I hoped, for his sake, that he could find his way back to the cliffs he’d come from. I had a feeling that’s what Jae would have wanted—for him to go back home and be with the rest of his kind again.
Nova and I both looked up when the stall door creaked. Someone was rolling it open again.
I wasn’t expecting any visitors. I didn’t want any. And Prax was probably one of the last people I wanted to see right now.
He stepped into my stall and shut the door behind him. He didn’t look as angry as before, although I could detect some lingering frustration in the way his brow was furrowed. Some of the other riders in our flight had started teasing us about how much they thought we looked alike. I didn’t see it. Sure, we both had dark blonde hair. And maybe we did favor each other a little, but they were blowing it out of proportion. That’s the way it is with dragonriders. They’re going to find something to tease you about, even if they have to make it up. It only had to be ten percent true. That was the rule.
“I guess you’re all packed, then?” he asked as he ambled over and leaned against the wall nearby.
“Yep.”
“I’m sure Duchess Farrow will be glad to hand the reins back over to you, eh?” He’d yet to make eye contact with me, which made me wonder what he’d actually come here to say.
“I’m sure she will.” I kept my answers brief, hoping an uncomfortable silence would get him to cut to the chase.
Prax cleared his throat. Then he finally looked right at me. “I came here to say that I understand. Maybe you think I’m being hard or callous about this. Or maybe you just think I’m an ignorant old man with a bird’s nest for brains.”
I smirked. “Getting warmer.”
That made him grin too, but it didn’t last long. He rubbed the graying beard on his chin and sighed. He was acting fidgety, like there was something important he wanted to say.
“You know, I lost someone too. A long time ago. So I know it hurts. And you don’t jus
t get over it or forget. Time doesn’t heal that kind of wound, you just learn to cope with it. Losing someone you love is a pain the heart never forgets.”
“Careful. Don’t get too mushy on me there, old man.”
He gave a dismissive shrug. “I can’t change your mind. I know that. Just be sure you’re doing this for the right reasons, otherwise you’ll regret it. And I’d hate to see another kid grow up to be an old man filled with regret.”
It was hard to pop an attitude or even be sarcastic when I could plainly see that he was baring a little bit of his soul to me. I wondered what he regretted, whom he had lost. I knew better than to ask, though. Some things were better left alone.
“So what’s the plan? You gonna hang around this dump and be a lieutenant forever?” I changed the subject.
“Unless someone kills me first,” he replied. “I’m an old dog and we don’t do so well with change. This is the only thing I know. And unlike the rest of you lot, I don’t have anything or anyone waiting for me behind friendly lines.”
“So there’s no Mrs. Prax?” I don’t know why that surprised me, but it did. I guess I figured an old guy like that, who had even one ounce of charm, would have a lady waiting on him back home, sitting by a window knitting him ugly scarves or something.
He just laughed. “No. Definitely not.”
“And no kids?”
Prax shook his head. “Not a one.”
I felt bad for him. Must be hard to be alone at his age with nothing to look forward to but the next battle. “It’s not too late, you know. Maybe you could find some lady with a thing for old war dogs. Or, you know, a blind girl and we’ll all just lie and tell her you’re good looking. Either way.”
He laughed again and came over to sit down across from me. Grabbing up a piece of my riding tack, he started to help me work. “Nah, I’m afraid it is too late. Especially for stubborn old soldiers who don’t care to settle.”
I admit, I was a little nervous when I presented myself to Colonel Bragg early the next morning and handed him my letter of resignation. He didn’t seem all that surprised by it, though. I wondered if someone had tipped him off, or if he was getting a lot of these kinds of letters from the noblemen in his forces now that the war was essentially over.
Immortal Page 2
