"Why are you complaining? I saved your life," she says.
"You shouldn't have."
"You're welcome," she says dryly.
"What happened anyway?" she asks after a minute of silence.
"Caiden calmed down and shifted back to human form as soon as he saw you shift," Dylan says.
That is true, well, for the most part. It's what I told him. The truth is that when I saw her, lying on the ground with blood coming from her head, something inside me snapped. Yes, I recognized her, and at that moment I took control of the beast; I saw her through his eyes and could control his actions. It was the strangest thing and I haven't been able to completely free myself of that feeling. I fear my wolf and the wild beast have intertwined. Lucinda's voice brings me from my internal thoughts.
"How did I get back here?" Lucinda asks.
"Caiden insisted on carrying you," Dylan says. "He was different, possessive." He adds under his breath. My nostrils flare and my jaw clenches. I didn't realize anyone noticed the change in my behavior. I'll have to be more careful.
"And Felix?" she asks, ignoring Dylan's last comment.
"He's still alive," Dylan says after another minute of silence. "After you hit your head on the stone in the field and Caiden shifted back, all of Felix's men fled. We searched the bodies for Felix but he wasn't found."
"I have to go, we have to find him," she says. My heart aches. If only she knew.
"Lux, sit back down," Dylan says.
"Dylan, you don't understand, he'll come as soon as he's able," Lucinda says in a panicked voice.
Before I'm able to interrupt them, Dylan says, "He's already come." My fingers curl into tight balls, nails digging into the soft flesh of my palm. I didn't want to tell her yet.
"What?" Lucinda says. "Tell me, tell me everything."
"He came with a peace treaty—" Dylan says.
"He can't be trusted," Lucinda interrupts.
"We know, but this one is different, this is peace in exchange for you."
My legs give out on me and I slide down the wall to sit on the floor. Now she knows and I still don't know what to do. I wish we had more time to figure it out.
"Oh," she says after a moment of silence.
"Lux, you don't have to," Dylan whispers.
"Answer me one thing. Have you ever loved me?"
"Yes," Dylan says, "but we'll never be anything more than friends."
Numbness spreads through my body as I stand. It's replaced with a surge of heat as I peek through the crack in the door and see Dylan sitting on the bed next to her, caressing her cheek with his hand, leaning in as if he may kiss her. My heart explodes with a rage that I can't control.
Clearing my throat, I knock on the door and push it open.
"Caiden," Lucinda says. My eyes soften when I see her lean away from Dylan as I enter.
"We'll talk later, okay?" Dylan says to her and walks past me, stopping at the door he adds, "I told her about Felix, you two have things to discuss." He closes the door behind him.
"How are you feeling?" I ask, walking across the room, closing the distance between us.
"Fine," she says without attempting a smile. Her shoulders round forward, she's slouching on the bed and won't meet my gaze. She's upset and I don't blame her. I did try to kill her and now we're asking to trade her to Felix. My heart sinks. I want to scoop her up in my arms and tell her everything will be okay, but I can't, so I remain silent.
"And how are you?" She asks, standing from her spot on the bed and finally looking at me. I have no answer.
My soul is split in two—both mentally and emotionally. The beast now shares a permanent place in my mind. And I don't want to give her to Felix, but unless she joins my pack, I can't protect her. No, I can't tell her that. Instead I remain silent, staring into her deep hazel eyes that twinkle with specks of gold.
"Dylan told me about Felix's peace treaty," she says.
"You don't have to go."
"Yes, I do."
"Stay," my voice croaks and I reach for her hand, brushing her knuckles softly with my thumb.
"Why?"
A lump forms in my throat as I think of all the selfish reasons for her to stay.
"Stay for Dylan," I say.
"Nope, not good enough." Her eyes harden and she looks away.
"If you won't stay for your mate, then at least stay for your friends. Stay for Mia and Gavin."
"It's because of my friends that I have to leave," she says with defiance.
"Your friends don't want to see you with Felix," I say through a clenched jaw. I don't want to be upset with her, but she's not making this easy.
"Maybe not, but he's apparently the only one that wants me." She gives a loud sigh and pulls her hand from mine.
"I'm tired of running, always looking over my shoulder, wondering who I'll meet next—friend or foe—if..." She sits on the bed. "I just want a place to settle down and call home. No more running."
"You have friends here, people that care about you, this can be your home if you'll only accept the pack."
"Maybe. It could've been in a different life, but not now," she says, "not with Felix alive."
"We'll find him."
"You can't jeopardize your entire pack like that," she says. "You have injuries and casualties from this one battle— you don't want an ongoing feud."
I stand silent, thinking of exactly what to say. She thinks like an Alpha, always looking after her friends as if they were her own pack. Putting the people of a pack before her own life.
"You're right, a feud isn't desirable. But, if it'll keep you safe—"
She interrupts me. "No. I will not let your pack destroy themselves to protect me. If I leave and go to Felix, joining our souls, I can at least ensure the safety of this pack."
"Lucinda!" I say in a low but firm tone. "Think of your friends."
"I AM thinking of my friends!" She stands with such force I step backward.
"Lucinda," I say gently, "you don't have to leave."
"Why should I stay? I'll only endanger my friends and your pack by staying."
I stare into her eyes and clench my jaw.
"Tell me, is there another reason I should stay?" she asks.
"Your friends care about you," I say. A cold shadow covers her eyes, I know it's not what she wanted to hear, but it's all I can offer.
She makes a slight nod as she steps close to me. Leaning in, she kisses my cheek and whispers in my ear.
"Thank you for your hospitality during my visit. I hope to see you again, but it's probably in our best interest that our paths don't cross in the future." And with that, she walks out of the room and out of my life.
Tiny needles stab my body and shards of glass slice my heart in half. In a cloudy daze, I stand frozen in place, unable to move.
Tremors roll through my body and I begin shaking with rage. A dark veil creeps into the shadows of my eyesight, threatening to overtake me. I can't control the beast this time.
I run out of the room and fly down the stairs. Glancing over my shoulder as I open the front door, I see Lucinda in the living room. She is sitting on the couch talking with Mia and Gavin. Dylan stands off to the side, staring at the ground.
"Caiden—" Mia says, "You startled me. Is everything okay?"
Lucinda refuses to look at me. I crinkle my nose and curl my hands into tight fists. Why am I so angry with her?
"Dude, you okay?" Gavin asks.
My eyes stay glued to the back of Lucinda's head and a deep growl vibrates from low in my throat.
"Run it off," Dylan says through the mindlink.
With that I turn, walking out the front door, slamming it behind me. Leaping off the porch, I shift in midair and my wolf charges into the forest.
Chapter 32
Lucinda
Lying in bed, I let my thoughts drift to Caiden.
His big blue eyes shine with intensity, a de
ep hue of sapphire under a bright sunny day. He caresses my cheek with his hand; it's a bit rough and calloused, but his touch is soft and gentle. His hands move down to my neck and his thumb crosses my lips as he steps closer, closing the distance between us. With my chest pressed against his, his heart beats against my breast. Lowering his head, he leans into me and I ready for his plump lips to meet mine...
I wake wide-eyed, grabbing at my face and chest as I try to slow my breathing. I had drifted off to sleep. Damn it.
Looking up through the window above my bed, I smile at the clear night above. The moon is almost full and it lights up the night sky, making the earth glow a beautiful silver.
I know he is there before he knocks. The scent of bergamot seeps through the door causing my heart to flutter.
Three small knocks tap on the door. As I stand, a warmth rushes to my cheeks and as I cross the room to the door, I think of my dream. My wolf stirs, giddy with excitement. She's become anxious around Caiden the past few days.
"Lucinda, please open the door—" Caiden whispers through the door.
Leaning my head against the door, I move my hand from the lock. No. I can't let him in. I can't see or talk to him tonight. If I do, I may lose my nerve; I know what needs to be done.
With what small strength I can find, I take a deep breath and move away from the door.
I'll be leaving tonight. If I don't, I fear I will never leave.
I wait until I hear Caiden's bedroom door shut and I peek into the hall. It's clear, so I quickly walk down the stairs, but a noise distracts me. Leaning over the railing, I peer down the hall and see a light coming from Caiden's office. Again I hear the noise, a shuffling of papers.
Taking a deep breath, I tiptoe to the front door and slip through. The cool night air calms my nerves. Closing my eyes, I lift my face to the moon and feel strength surge through my soul. Is this boost of strength real or just my imagination? It doesn't matter; it's exactly what I need. I step off the porch and head into the forest.
A slow burn begins in the pit of my stomach—my wolf begs me to turn back, but no, I push forward.
Unsure of my exact destination, I head down the same path I took before when I was looking for Caiden and Felix. Dylan told me Felix's camp is set up on the other side of that hill.
Walking through the forest, I can't help but daydream, and questions run through my mind with no answers. What am I doing? If I hadn't overheard Dylan and Caiden talking, would I still be going to Felix? If Caiden would mark me, would that change things? Do I want Caiden to mark me? What does Caiden think of me?
Lost in my own little world, I cross the field and climb the hill, still worrying about what Caiden will think of me after tonight. Standing at the top of the hill looking down, I see the tents and small campfires of my new home.
Not ready to give up thoughts of Caiden just yet, I spot a tree and sit down leaning against it.
Really Lucinda, what were you thinking? Coming to Caiden's pack, what did we really want? What did we expect from him? Did we just think the Alpha would take us in and protect us from Felix? No silly girl, we knew better.
My wolf inside me stirs.
And after we saw Dylan—we knew we could never stay. We were planning to leave anyway, so why does this feel all wrong? Why does leaving the Blood Moone Pack hurt so bad?
Every other time Dylan would turn his back and leave me, or I him, it always hurt—but never this bad. Why now? What changed? Why is this pain so different?
Taking a deep breath, I stand up and clench my jaw.
It's time to do this.
I head down the hill to face my new pack.
I prefer to stay in the shadows, to be seen when I want to be seen and not before; moving between tents, staying away from the light cast by the fires, I listen carefully before taking a step.
Felix taught me well; I would make a good rogue, a warrior amongst his pack. Stealth, even in my human form, has become second nature to me, with a little more practice I would be one hell of an assassin. I will be the Luna of this pack, the Alpha's mate. Chills ripple up my spine, causing goosebumps to prickle up on my arms at the thought of being Felix's mate.
Reaching my destination, I slip into Felix's tent, careful to stay in the shadows. I knew it was his as soon as I saw it; his tent is the most lavish tent in the pack.
"You're out of practice, my dear," Felix says with a sly grin.
Looking around, I spot him lying on a bed of furs near the rear of the tent.
"Felix." I step out from the shadows.
He turns the small flame of an oil lamp to cast more light to fill the tent.
"Finally, you've come to me. I was starting to think the Alpha—what's his name, Caiden? Wasn't going to give you up."
Hearing his name pains my soul. Two large rocks pound together, smashing the shattered pieces of my broken heart. I blink back tears that threaten to escape and quiet the howls of my wolf inside.
"Sit, please sit." He motions to the large silk pillows that adorn the floor near his bed.
My eyes narrow as I glare at him and cross my arms over my chest.
"Fine, fine. Have it your way, we'll talk in the morning," he mumbles and lays back down in his bed.
I palm the hidden dagger that's tucked into my waist.
"Come on, he's not worth it," a man's voice says behind me.
"Hey Cody, miss me?" I flash a wicked grin.
"Welcome back." He pulls me in for a hug.
"I wish I could say I was glad to be back, but I'm not," I say into his shoulder.
"Why are you back?" Cody asks. Pulling from our embrace he looks deep into my eyes. "You shouldn't have come—"
Felix stirs in his sleep. Cody raises his index finger up to his lips, motioning me to be quiet as he grabs my hand, pulling me out of the tent.
We enter a smaller tent not too far from Felix's and Cody motions for me to sit. There isn't much in this tent: a footlocker that I'm sitting on, a stool, a candle for light, a cot for sleeping, and a pile of furs for warmth.
"Here you go," he says, handing me a fur blanket.
"Thanks." I wrap the fur around me because the night air has become chilly.
"And I'll make you a place to sleep. I'm not sure how long we'll stay camped here, you can stay with me or we can set up your own tent tomorrow."
"I'm not sure Felix would like it if I stayed with you," I say with a giggle. "So let's plan on it!"
"You're going to make his life pure hell, aren't you?" Cody asks.
I pucker my lips in a failed attempt to hide my mischievous grin.
"So why did you come back? You left here to get away from Felix, remember?"
Images of Caiden flash through my mind and I grab my heart to stop it from aching.
“To kill Felix.”
Cody’s smile wavers and he studies me with an harsh grimace, "You may think you will and you may want to. But you won't."
"Watch me," I say and then I twist in my seat.
“Do you want to tell me what really happened?"
I stare at the ground and shrug. After more prompting I say, "They don't want me."
Cody looks at me with an intense stare and then his lips pull into a devilish grin.
"What's so funny?" I ask, raising my eyebrows.
"Oh please, spare me the 'they don't want me' bit," he says, using air quotes and mimicking my voice. "You have that Alpha's head spinning. I'm surprised he let you leave!"
"Can't I ever have a pity party for myself?" I cross my arms over my chest and lift my head. It does sound like a lame excuse. "I should leave."
“Stay. At least tonight?” Cody asks.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
Cody stands and throws a blanket on the floor. “I'll help you figure everything out tomorrow, okay?”
I nod and lay down in the cot and Cody sleeps on the floor.
"Get some sleep. Tomorrow your n
ew life in hell will begin."
Closing my eyes, I try to clear my mind, but Cody’s right. Starting tomorrow my life will be hell. If I run, Felix will follow and I'll forever be running, but if I stay my life will become a cruel and unusual punishment.
Chapter 33
Caiden
Running circles around the pack house, I become aware of the savage cursed beast residing within me, sharing my mind and splitting my soul in half. But now I can control him, I think, whereas before I couldn't. I see through his eyes, but I still have my mind–for now. The beast is invading my wolf and bonding with my soul.
In the early morning, I return to the pack house feeling calm and refreshed. Entering from the backdoor, I grab a pair of flannel pants that I left on the shelf beside the door and quickly dress.
"Feel better?" Dylan asks from the other room.
"A little." I walk into the kitchen and grab a glass of water.
"I take it your talk with Lux didn't go over too well?" he asks. Leaning on the counter, I glare at him. Why does it bother me so much?
"Don't take it personally. We didn't have any better luck convincing her to stay either," he says rolling his eyes.
"Where is she?" I ask.
"She went up to bed a little while ago. Mia was able to talk her into staying the night and leaving in the morning after breakfast."
"Thanks," I say. Brushing my right hand through my hair, I take a deep breath and walk toward the hall.
"She's always been stubborn," he says. Looking over my shoulder, I see he's smirking and I nod in agreement. "You should try to talk to her again," he says as I walk up the stairs.
Stopping in front of her door, I lift my hand to knock and bring it down again. Think Caiden, think. What am I going to say that I didn't say before?
Returning my hand to the door I tap three soft knocks.
No response.
Leaning my head against the door, I let the delightful scent of mint and honey swirl through my nose lighting a fire in my soul. I know she's in there, her scent is strong and close; she's on the other side of the door.
"Lucinda, please open the door," I whisper.
The intoxicating mint and honey scent moves away from the door, but the door doesn't open. After several moments I slam my fist against the door before crossing the hall to my room for what I know will be a sleepless night.
The Rogue's Fate Page 17
