by Kelly, Erika
He should get on a plane that afternoon, head back to Florida, and finish out the week. The scouts would believe he’d had a family emergency. Since he’d continued his work-outs, he could do it.
But his gut pulled again. He didn’t want to go.
Sophie sprang to mind. Was she what held him back? Because that would be beyond stupid, to fuck up his life over a woman he met over spring break.
“Look,” his dad said. “Is this about Emma? The way it ended?”
“This has nothing to do with Emma.”
“You sure about that? Crappy thing she did.”
“It’s not about what she did. I don’t care about that.” Which was the problem. He should care. “I think she’s just part of all the things I’m stuck with.”
“Stuck with? You’re stuck with baseball? That’s how you feel? You could’ve played any sport. You were a phenom. But you chose baseball.”
“I chose Coach Banbury.”
Silence.
Funny how they’d never talked about it. “He brought me into his home, Dad. He…” Christ. “He fed me, helped me with my homework.”
“Oh, hell.” His dad exhaled into the receiver.
“I’m not blaming you. Life sucked. But it didn’t suck at his house. I chose baseball because of him.”
His dad cleared his throat. “And now you don’t want it?”
“Of course I want it.” But then he wondered…had he done all he could with baseball? Maybe he wanted a new challenge. The idea thrilled him, and at the same time scared the shit out of him. “What if it’s enough, though? Enough that I was All American in high school and MVP in college? What if I trained and worked hard so that I could be all those things, but I don’t have to make a career out of it?” Was he actually quoting Sophie Valentine?
“You don’t have to make a career out of it. But since you’re not sure what you want, how about you don’t close any doors just yet? Keep your options open. We’re not talking about a job. You lose a job, you’ll have a dozen others to choose from. We’re talking about Major League Baseball. I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know, but people would kill for what you’ve got. And you’ve got it all. Not just natural talent, but drive, determination, focus. You’re an elite athlete.” He could hear his dad swearing under his breath. “Was I that much of a fuck-up? After the divorce, I tried so damn hard to make things right for you kids. Baseball worked for you. Did I get it all wrong? I thought you wanted all the training camps and private lessons.”
“Nah. I wanted to go to the Bahamas with you guys.” Spring break of eighth grade, his family had gone on vacation. His dad had dropped him off at a special training program in Florida. “But most of all, I wanted to major in computer science.” But given the number of away-games, he couldn’t take the core classes offered in spring semester. His schedule hadn’t allowed it.
So why did he think he had enough knowledge to make a living in the field?
“I didn’t know it was that important to you.”
“It was.” He thought of Sophie again. Of all the things he wanted to talk about, she mattered most. He was all kinds of messed up about her. “I met a girl.”
“Oh, hell, no. Is that what this is about? You’re there with some girl?”
“I didn’t come here with a girl. I came to get away.”
“And now you’ve met some girl, and she’s putting ideas in your head. Is she an athlete? Does she understand how few people ever have an opportunity like yours? Not just to be drafted, but to be a first-round pick?”
“I’m sure she doesn’t.”
“Look, I can’t get into your head, but I can tell you it’s a mistake to walk away when you’re so damn close. See it through. If you don’t like it after a year or two or three, quit. But at least hit a home run. Don’t stall out at third and wonder the rest of your life what would’ve happened if you’d gone for it.”
Great image. Everything snapped into place. “You’re right.”
Energy poured back into his body. His purpose returned. He knew just what it felt like on third, muscles twitching to make a run for it. Keeping an eye on home plate, wanting it so badly he could taste the dust he’d kick up once he got there.
And he didn’t want to be that guy at forty, thinking back on what might’ve been. Knowing he’d walked off the field before touching the bag just because he’d gotten a little burned out.
That would suck.
“And this girl? You just got out of a six-year relationship. Do you really want to get tied up with another woman so soon after you just got your freedom?”
“No. I don’t.” His dad was right. Everything he said was right.
“My advice is to get back to school. Knock it out of the park. Play in the majors and then reevaluate.”
“Yeah. I hear you.”
“You want me to get you a flight back to school?”
“I’ll take care of it.” He’d bought his own ticket. He’d be the one to change it.
“I’m here if you need me.”
“I know. Thanks, Dad.” Ryan disconnected and sat there, letting it all sink in. After months of being twisted up and frustrated, he finally had clarity. He’d played baseball so long, of course he needed to pull back and assess before taking the plunge into the big leagues.
And, thanks to Sophie, he could admit that maybe he didn’t want to be a shortstop the rest of his life. But his dad was right. He should cross the finish line. Get drafted and play in the majors. All the while, he could be developing his apps. Easy segue into a different career.
Anything else was just stupid.
******
The curtains yanked open. Bright light flooded the room.
Sophie jerked up. What the hell?
“Hey.” Ryan stood at the foot of the bed looking at his phone. “Time to hit the road.”
Oh, wonderful. Jerkface was back. “What’s going on?”
“I’m going to grab a coffee and meet you downstairs.”
She tossed the sheet off, got out of bed—naked—and he didn’t look at her once. Right. The same man who turned feral at the sight of her bare shoulders wasn’t even looking. Well, screw you, Mr. Hyde. “I’m going to shower. I’m also going to eat breakfast. Furthermore, I’m going to stop at the volcano. I think I made my plans clear yesterday.”
His gaze flicked over to her, did a slow glide from her eyes to her mouth to her breasts, all the way down to her toes. Color stained his cheeks, his jaw tensed, and his Adam’s apple bobbed.
There he is. Well, at least she still turned him on. She didn’t know what was going on with him, but she wished he’d talk to her instead of shutting down like this.
She’d heard him go out onto the balcony in the middle of the night. He’d been out there a while. Something had obviously happened. “Is everything all right?”
“Everything’s great.” He gave her his signature smile, which clued her in that something was wrong. “But it’s time to get going.”
“Okay.” No longer comfortable naked around him, she reached for the cover-up that had landed on the ottoman. “But that doesn’t mean you have to be a dick.”
“I’ll order you breakfast. Hurry down.”
“You don’t even know what I want to eat.”
“Pancakes, hash browns, sausage patties, bacon, coffee—black—and a tomato juice.”
It wasn’t anger so much as hurt that flared up. “No, I—”
But he smiled—a genuine one—and for one moment he was the Ryan she’d come to like so much. “Okay, how ‘bout a spinach and cheddar omelet, whole grain toast, strawberry jam, a mango and a papaya juice?”
Shocked that he’d gotten it so completely right, she didn’t even confirm it before he walked out the door.
Sophie spotted him at a small table at the back of the grand dining room. French doors opened to a wide veranda with outdoor seating, but he’d chosen a table just to the side of the heavy, pale blue drapes. He faced her, a newspap
er open and covering most of the table. “You ready to eat?”
“I—” The moment she sat down, he motioned the waiter to bring her food.
Then, the paper rustled, and he went back to reading.
Are you kidding me?
Okay, whatever was going on with him, he was not going to ruin her time on this gorgeous day in Santa Grenada.
Pushing her chair back, she got up, found a waiter, and asked him to bring her breakfast outside on the terrace.
Reaching into her bag, she pulled out her sunglasses and took in the magnificent view. With its bougainvillea-draped balcony, the terrace overlooked acres of trees and an endless swath of frothy gray ocean. She breathed in the scents of sun-baked stone and bacon and forced her thoughts away from the butthead behind the newspaper in the dining room.
The busboy cleared a table for her, the waiter snapped open a fresh, white tablecloth, and then she sat down.
Oh, yes. This was lovely. Perfect, cloudless sky, sharp, pine-scented breeze. The clink of silver on china. So much better than sitting in that stuffy room.
The waiter set her plate down so quickly Sophie had to assume they’d made it a while ago and had just kept it warm for her. Well, Ryan could screw himself. If her toast wasn’t crisp she’d order a fresh batch. He would not rush her.
But, no, the omelet tasted fluffy, the cheese melted just right—not congealed as though it’d been warming. She slathered a good amount of butter and strawberry preserves on a triangle of toast and bit in. Delicious.
“Enjoying your stay?”
Even with her sunglasses, Sophie had to shield her eyes to see who’d spoken to her. An older man sat a table nearby, smiling warmly. “I am. I love it here. How about you?”
“We’re having a wonderful time. Ever since I retired, my wife’s been planning these trips.” He leaned forward, cupped the side of his mouth. “And if she didn’t, I’d be on my boat on the lake with a fishing pole and a couple of egg salad sandwiches.”
She smiled. “I can see why she plans these trips.”
He laughed. “Yes, I do, too. I traveled every week for nearly forty years, so living out of a suitcase is the very last thing I want to do in my retirement. But she stayed home, raised our kids. She deserves to go wherever her heart desires.”
Warmth suffused her. “That is so sweet.”
A shadow crossed over her, and then a big body blocked the older man from her view. A chair scraped back, and Ryan dropped into the seat opposite her.
The man leaned around Ryan. “Enjoy your trip.”
“Thank you. You, too.”
Tall, broad-shouldered, Ryan leaned forward in his chair. “I like you.” The force of that mega-watt smile only served to piss her off even more.
“I’m so pleased.” She reached for her juice, wondering if she should tell him to go wait for her somewhere else. She wanted to enjoy her meal in the sunshine.
“You do exactly what you want to do. You don’t worry about hurting my feelings—”
“Why would I worry about your feelings when you have this really neat switch you use to shut them off?”
The grin dropped away. He sat back, toying with the linen napkin arranged like a swan in front of him. She bit into her toast, but she didn’t taste it. What was he thinking? That after last night’s intimacy he could throw up a wall this morning, and it wouldn’t hurt? Well, it did. A lot.
You know what? She was sick of him. “Well, aren’t you just the perfect diet plan.” She’d lost her appetite again. Draining her juice glasses, she pushed back from the table. “I’m going to brush my teeth and check out. I’ll meet you at the car.”
They drove in silence. She had no idea what he was thinking, only that each time his phone buzzed his fingers flexed on the steering wheel.
As they sped along the empty road, they passed by endless meadows of tall grass sprinkled with wildflowers. She wouldn’t let herself get all worked up over some guy she met on vacation. Maybe one day she’d hear his name on the news or see his picture in the paper for some scandal with an underage pop star, and he’d just be some vague memory, no more potent than an old photograph.
His phone vibrated in the cupholder yet again.
“Oh, my God, would you just pull over and answer it already? Either that or put it on silent.”
“I can’t. I’m working on some travel arrangements.”
“Well, it’s just annoying.” She wanted to ask him what was going on but, of course, she was done getting into his head.
“My teammates found out.” His tone was flat. Dead.
She sat up. That would be awful for him. “What did they say?”
“That I’m a dumbass.”
“And you told them where they could shove it?”
He let out a short laugh. “I might’ve worded it differently. But I’m back on track now.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning break’s over. I’m heading back today.”
“When?”
“Soon as I’m done swimming in water with magical properties and dining in three-star restaurants.” She saw no humor in his eyes.
“You’re obviously not happy about it.”
“I shouldn’t have come out here to begin with.” His features shut down, and he stared at the road.
“Just talk about it, Ryan. You’re going to have an aneurysm. You can’t keep everything inside. Pull the car over and just let ‘er rip.” She gripped his forearm. “Lose your shit for once in your life.”
But he didn’t. He just kept driving. And so she pulled out her notes for finding the turn-off for the volcano and watched the scenery unfold.
Sophie stood at the edge of the cliff, looking down at the forest below and the ocean beyond. A breeze made the skirt of her dress flutter around her thighs. She breathed in the sulfur-tainted air.
Strong arms wrapped around her, and a familiar scent filled her senses. She tensed, moving to shrug him off, but Ryan held tight, his mouth at her ear.
“I did it again. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sure you are.” Again, she tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let her go.
He let out a breath, resting his chin on her shoulder. “I want you, Soph. More than I’ve ever wanted anything. And I’m really good at denying myself—I’m the fucking king of self-discipline. But I’ve got none when it comes to you. And I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know how to stop wanting you.” He nuzzled her neck. “Jesus, just the way you smell. Everything about you drives me out of my mind.”
“I feel the same way. Minus the whole self-discipline issue.”
His grip tightened, and he nuzzled the hair away from her neck and kissed it. “I want this.” His mouth opened, his tongue drew a sensuous circle on the skin just under her ear, and then he bit her lobe. “Us.”
“Ryan.” She smiled, but she totally understood. She understood everything. The reason he’d closed down, the reason he’d put up the wall of newspaper, and the reason he wouldn’t look at her.
“But I can’t have it. I have to get back to my team. I’ve come too far, sacrificed too much, to flush this opportunity down the toilet.”
“You don’t want to have regrets later.”
“Exactly.”
“How many games are left this week?”
“Two.”
“Are the scouts still there?”
“They’re not just there to see me. It’s a big week of games, so yeah. They are.” He shifted his legs. “And my agent will tell them I’m back. So instead of being the arrogant prick that bails on his team, I’ll be the disciplined player who races back after a family emergency.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re allowed to be imperfect.”
Finally, he let her turn in his arms, and she saw the calm in his eyes. He was okay. Happy with his decision.
“I’ve never…” He snapped his jaw shut, then tried again. “I want…” His gaze dropped to her mouth.
She pushed on his taut st
omach, laughing. “Yeah, I know what you want. But here’s what you don’t want. To become a fifty-year-old insurance agent with a red Corvette who bangs his secretary instead of being a Major League Baseball player all because you couldn’t resist some girl whose name you can’t even remember from thirty years ago.”
His hands gripped her ass and hauled her up against him. “Sorry what was that? I heard something about your ass and my brain shut down.”
“You’re an ass.” She wrapped her hands around his neck, swaying against his body. “I don’t know if you can base your decisions on what may or may not happen in the future. I’m pretty sure if you stick with your gut you’re going to be okay.”
He smiled. “But what if my gut keeps leading me to you?”
When she didn’t answer, he kissed her.
This is not a good idea. Not when her body went hot, and desire rolled through her in thick waves. Not when she wanted nothing more than to take him deep inside her body and relieve the unending ache he stirred up.
So she pushed him away. “Let’s get you back to the resort, okay?”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Something lumbered across the road, snapping Ryan out of his thoughts.
“What the hell is that?” He swerved the Jeep around the animal, who disappeared into the forest. It had a barrel-shaped body and a head shaped like a fat bullet.
“I don’t know.” Sophie had swung around, trying to get a look out the window. “It’s gone.”
“That was the weirdest looking animal I’ve ever seen.”
“Might’ve been a giant hutia.”
“A what?”
She settled back in her seat. “It’s a rodent.”
“Damn.” He hadn’t been paying attention to his surroundings.
He kept trying to focus on his plans—changing his ticket, getting a ride from the airport. But, all the while, the restlessness seeped back in as steadily as a tide.
He’d been so good at shutting shit down all these years, why couldn’t he do it now?
A warm hand stroked his thigh, squeezing just above the knee. “Please tell me what you’re thinking.”
“Four ideas. That’s all I’ve ever had. That’s not exactly a career.”
