We unloaded from the Jeep and led Sawyer to our usual spot on the beach, sandwiched between some massive boulders. That was the cool thing about Lake Tahoe: the beaches were amazing. They weren’t pristine white sand like people expected from a beach; instead, the sand was gritty and often scattered with pine needles from the colossal trees that dotted the shoreline. There were massive rock structures everywhere, jutting out of the sand. They were perfect for shielding you from other beachgoers if you wanted a private spot or to use as a sunny perch. Or, in this case, they were nature’s diving boards.
“What is this place?” Sawyer questioned as we set our stuff down on the beach. Brie had three towels in her giant beach bag and had brought a small cooler filled with sodas and snacks.
“Rocky Pointe,” Brie and I answered in unison.
“I take it you’ve been here before?” he asked with a smile.
“Yep, all the time. It’s our spot. We spent practically every weekend here,” I explained, grabbing the suit Brie had brought for me as I headed behind one of the huge rocks for some privacy to change.
“It’s not that busy here since there’s not a lot of beach space,” Brie continued, “but these rocks are the best. The water on the other side right there”—she pointed toward the rocks on the right—“it’s so deep. Perfect for jumping. It’s the most refreshing thing you’ll do all summer.”
I emerged from behind the boulder wearing one of Brie’s green-and-white-striped suits. I was so much more comfortable than I had been in the T-shirt I’d had on an hour earlier. Sawyer slipped away to change into the swim shorts Brie had handed him.
“Where did these come from?” he asked, stepping out from behind a rock with a firm grip on his bright-yellow Hawaiian-print shorts.
“They belong to Phil,” Brie explained. “My stepdad.”
“Any chance Phil weighs a little more than I do?” Sawyer asked with a laugh. The shorts were huge on him, and it looked like he couldn’t cinch them tight enough.
“He’s probably got a hundred pounds on you. Sorry.” Brie giggled. “In my defense, Whit didn’t tell me who they were for.”
“Sorry,” I said with an animated shrug. “It’s the best I could do last minute. Besides, your underwear is soaked, so you can’t wear that. You don’t have many options.”
“Wait, why is your underwear wet?” Brie asked, looking back and forth between Sawyer and me. “What the hell have you guys been doing all morning?”
“First one to the top gets to know all my secrets,” I said quickly, darting up the side of the rock like we used to do as kids. We’d been playing games like this since we were little. Unfortunately for Brie, I was always a faster climber. I could think of only two times she beat me up the rocks. We giggled the whole way up, and Sawyer just laughed at us as we acted like juveniles.
“You have so much to tell me, Whitley Rose,” Brie whispered as soon as we made it to the top. Sawyer was still down in the sand, looking around at the beach.
“We met at the airport, and then he was down at Moonshine Park one night, and . . .”
“Wait. You’ve been hanging out with him this whole time?” she gasped. “I thought Wes had you all shaken up, but really, you’ve been hanging out with this guy? I’m supposed to know all these things!”
“We haven’t spent that much time together. It all just kind of . . . happened.” I shrugged. “I don’t know what I’m doing. There’s this thing going on with my dad, and I’m all out of sorts. I think I’m just being impulsive. It’s like I’m on the verge of crying all the time, but then Sawyer shows up, and all of a sudden I feel better about everything. He’s like . . . sunshine. I know that sounds stupid, but I’m telling you, he’s sweet and funny, and he makes me forget what’s happening around me. But he’s quiet and sensitive when it matters. He lost his parents at a young age and then his grandparents recently, so it’s like he gets what I’m going through or something.”
“Or he has the most exquisite abs I’ve ever seen on a man,” she interjected, pointing down toward the beach. “You don’t need to sell me on what you see in him, Whit, I can see it all for myself. Trust me. I get it. Look at those hip bones. Gah.”
“That’s not what it’s about,” I whispered, noticing Sawyer had made his way over to the boulders. He began the climb up, making it look effortless. “We’ll talk more about this later.”
“Remember earlier when you said you’d jump off a rock?” I smiled at Sawyer, who was still holding on to his shorts, hopeful they wouldn’t fall down. He nodded with a boyish grin, likely hoping I had no intention of holding him to his word. “Well, this is it. This is the spot. Brie and I used to spend hours out here jumping off the rocks.”
He peered over the edge, running a hand through his light-brown hair. “Who’s up first?”
“We all jump at the same time,” Brie chimed in, stepping back a few feet. “Last one in has to reveal their biggest secret.”
As soon as she said it, I immediately jumped. I knew I was the first to hit the water, and I felt stupidly proud about that. Brie and I were competitive with each other in that way. It wasn’t until I surfaced that I realized she’d told him to stay back and not jump. I was the only one in the water.
“Now that we’re alone, I get to grill you for information,” I could hear Brie say to Sawyer as they stood on top of the boulder.
“You guys suck.” I laughed, feeling stupid for jumping before them. I swam to the shoreline, eager to get out and interrupt their conversation. I pulled myself out of the water and immediately started climbing back up the rocks. They were talking quietly, and I couldn’t hear much until I made my way up higher.
“I was planning to stay only until Saturday, but actually I have some time off next week,” Sawyer said to Brie as I got closer to the top. They were now sitting, taking in the warmth of the stone on their skin. “I’m thinking about extending my vacation a bit. It seems like such a waste to spend my entire week here inside some stale conference room. After today, seeing all this, I think I need to stay a little longer. You know, to see what this place really has to offer.”
“That decision has nothing to do with my best friend?” I overheard Brie ask as I finally reached the top. I didn’t hear Sawyer’s reply.
“That was a horrible thing to do,” I joked as I sat down next to them on the boulder.
“We definitely weren’t talking about you, if that’s what you were worried about,” Sawyer said nonchalantly. “I definitely didn’t hear any of your deep, dark secrets or anything.”
“Brie, what did you tell him?” I shrieked playfully. I really didn’t have a lot of dirt, but if anyone knew something embarrassing about me, it was her. Although deep down I knew she was too good a friend to do any damage. She gave me an animated shrug.
We made small talk in the sun. Sawyer explained a little bit about himself to Brie—all stuff I knew already: that he was born in Nashville and raised outside the city by his grandparents. He also told her about his schooling and his future plans. They seemed to carry on good conversation, and I loved how they shared a sense of humor—my sense of humor. It seemed like we could carry on this way for hours. When the sun hit high in the sky, it began to get hot. We decided to go for a swim.
“Ready?” I asked Sawyer as we stood up, preparing to jump.
“I would do stupider things to impress you, I’m sure,” he said with a jovial smile. We all counted to three and jumped, creating a huge splash once we hit the water.
“Refreshing, right?” Brie said to Sawyer as soon as we surfaced. “Doesn’t that feel amazing?”
“Shit,” he said with a hint of panic in his voice. “I should’ve known . . .” Sawyer ducked back under the water and swam beneath us.
“What’s that about?” I questioned, unsure how to read his reaction. He surfaced again, still looking panicked.
“Tell me that didn’t just happen,” he said frantically, looking down at the water. “Shit.” He swam back down.
“Uh-oh,” Brie said, pointing at Sawyer as he swam around underneath us. I could see the perfect stark-white outline of his shorts tan—and the fact that there were no shorts to cover it. Brie and I started laughing uncontrollably.
Finally Sawyer surfaced. “I will forever be thankful that this water is so clear,” he said excitably, holding up the bright-yellow shorts. “Those were the worst two minutes of my adult life. I could hear you laughing from under the water.”
Brie and I tried to contain our giggles. Sawyer was a good sport about it at least. We managed to pull ourselves together and get out of the water for a bite to eat.
The rest of the afternoon flew by, spent mostly talking, laughing, and jumping from the rocks. Sawyer had learned the hard way that he had to hold on tight to his swim trunks with every jump. It was the perfect summer afternoon, and I couldn’t have had better company. Before we knew it, it was almost five o’clock.
“Are you going to come with me to Nathan’s bonfire next week?” Brie asked. “Please? It’ll be fun. There will be lots of people you haven’t seen in a while.”
“I’m not sure I could handle that,” I replied honestly. She was the only person I truly wanted to see on this trip home, other than my family. I really didn’t have a strong desire to see anyone else from my past.
“You could bring Sawyer,” she suggested, as if that would make it all better.
“He’ll probably be gone by then. Let’s be honest: even if he stayed in town, he would be terribly bored not knowing anyone there.” I shook my head. “Besides, you said Wes would be there, right? Too awkward for me. I don’t want to deal with any of that.”
“Who’s Wes?” Sawyer asked curiously.
“Her ex, who went on to propose to one of our ex-friends,” Brie answered before I could speak. “So bring Sawyer. That’s the perfect revenge.”
“I don’t want revenge.” I knew that was only half true. Deep down I was a kind, rational, mature person who didn’t want to play petty games just to get back at someone. But at the same time, it seemed like everyone had that innate feeling in them, that desire to prove to someone who hurt you that you’d moved on from it.
“What did he do?” Sawyer asked innocently.
“He didn’t fight for her,” Brie again answered for me. “He let her go.”
“There’s more to it than that,” I said vaguely. “We got in a fight. It was all stupid, really. And then I moved to Nashville. And that was it.”
“That’s it? That’s the story?” He pried for more information.
“I didn’t specifically tell him I had any plans to move,” I explained, not exactly wanting to relive it all but knowing I may as well lay it out there. “I had submitted some of my songs to some agents and record labels. I mean, I had been doing it for about a year, I just never told anyone because I knew there was such a miniscule chance of anything happening with it. I mentioned it to Brie, obviously, but that’s different. We tell each other dumb stuff all the time. It seemed like too big of a pipe dream, and I was embarrassed by the fact that nothing was happening for me. People weren’t even responding to my submissions. It was pretty embarrassing, considering all the time and effort I put into it. Naturally I just shrugged it off like it was no big deal. I didn’t talk about it. Then one day while Wes was over, I got a letter. Well, he got the letter while he was taking in my mail. I had finally got a meeting with someone in Nashville. Wes and I fought about it. He felt I had been dishonest about the whole thing by not talking with him about it, but that’s not how I saw it.”
“He wasn’t happy for you?” Sawyer asked inquisitively. Brie remained quiet.
“He had all these plans for us,” I said hesitantly. “He was in the apprenticeship program to be an electrician like his dad so he could run the family business. He was going to buy an old, neglected, run-down cabin on the lake so he could fix it up and we could live happily ever after. He had every detail mapped out. The letter came, and it was the first time he realized that maybe I had a different plan. So we fought about it. And I was so torn, because I was on such a high from it, right? I thought finally, finally something I’d always wanted could happen. But he dismissed it, like it was a stupid thing to dream about. And I get that. On the surface it’s not an easy dream. It’s unsteady and emotionally draining, and it’s in no way financially responsible. Completely the opposite of everything he wanted. We said hurtful things, and I don’t think we meant any of it, but I was hurt by the way he put down what I wanted, and he was hurt that I’d kept something from him. It all just exploded one night.”
“And you haven’t talked to him since?” he speculated.
“Not until I came back in town,” I said softly. “I ran into him, and he wanted to talk about it, but not me. There’s nothing to say about it. I feel like he just wants to rub it in or something, like I made the wrong choice by leaving. I don’t know.”
“What do you think?” he asked quietly.
“Honestly, maybe I did.” I shrugged. “At the end of the day, he was right. I gave up everything to follow my dreams, as stupid as that sounds, and look at me now. I’m no further than I was before I left.” I hated the honesty flying out of my mouth. I was getting so good at lying even to myself about how amazing my life was, only to be reminded about just how disheveled it actually was. “It doesn’t matter. He had the chance to chase the sun with me. I invited him along, and he didn’t show up. Then he moved on. I was crushed. I can admit that. But I learned something from it. There was no fight in him. That’s important. If I wasn’t worth fighting for, we wouldn’t have worked out anyway. There’s the life lesson.” I stood up from my beach towel and grabbed my shoes. “I should get back to the hospital.” I changed the subject. “We should probably get going.”
“Right, it’s getting late,” Sawyer said courteously. We packed up our stuff and loaded back into the Jeep. We listened to music on the way to drop off Brie, and I was thankful we were past the conversation about Wes. It was easy to say I was over it, but somehow it still stung a little bit every time it was brought up. I’d asked him to show up for me, to save what we had, and he didn’t come. That crushed me.
We got to Brie’s, and I hugged her goodbye in the driveway then climbed back into the Jeep.
“Call me later?” she shouted as she walked toward her door. I nodded, giving her a wave from the vehicle.
“Back to the hospital?” he asked as we pulled away.
“Yeah, they should be wrapping up all the testing by now,” I stated. It had been so nice to be away for the day, laughing and playing in the sun. My soul needed that in so many ways. But nostalgic conversations, like the one we’d had before leaving the beach, had a way of making me homesick. “Thank you for today. I needed that.”
“I needed the break as well. Trust me,” he replied, navigating us to the hospital using his phone GPS.
“Are you really staying in town a little longer?” I asked, wondering about his earlier conversation with Brie.
“I’ve been thinking about it. I’m all the way out here, so it’s not a bad idea. I was going to spend my vacation next week fixing things up around my grandparents’ cabin, but that could wait,” he mused. “I had no idea it was this pretty out here. I feel like I’m not done yet.”
I looked over at him, trying to read him. It seemed like he wanted to stay but wanted my permission or something first. Perhaps he didn’t want to seem obvious that his reason for staying might have anything to do with me. Or maybe I was full of myself to think it was connected to me at all. Honestly, Lake Tahoe was one of the most beautiful places in the whole world. It wasn’t crazy of him to want to see more of it, with or without me.
I thought for a moment about what this week would’ve been like without his company. I had Brie, sure. No one could take her place. But she still had a life to live here, with work and such, so it was nice to have someone else to talk to. Sawyer was a good distraction. I still wondered if that’s all he would be to me.
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We pulled into the hospital parking lot, and he maneuvered the Jeep right up to the front doors. “I had fun today,” I said with a smile as I unstrapped my seat belt. “Thanks for rescuing me. And for letting me cry on you. Not my best moment, I know. But we laughed the rest of the day, which means a lot to me.”
“I don’t want to feel like I’m interfering with what you have going on here”—he motioned toward the hospital—“but I meant what I said earlier. I know what it’s like to go through this. When you feel like the entire world is sitting on your chest, and your throat hurts from feeling so much, and you just want to scream into the wind until something, anything, is better. I’ve been there. Whether you need a distraction or someone to stand next to you when it’s bad, I’m here.” He reached out and squeezed my hand, and I felt connected to him.
I smiled, and he reached out and gently put his other hand on my cheek. He kissed me softly. “Good night, Whitley.”
“Quit sucking face with the Uber driver,” a loud, obnoxious voice called out. I looked up to see my brother walking toward the hospital entrance.
“You are such an ass, Warren,” I seethed, reaching for the door handle. “Sawyer, this is my immature, annoying brother.”
“What’s up, man?” they said simultaneously while offering half waves toward each other.
“So you’re the country-star boyfriend we’ve heard about?” Warren asked Sawyer.
I shook my head.
“Nope, just the Uber driver, man,” Sawyer replied with a straight face. I let out a slight giggle. “Call me if you know anything later tonight. About all the tests and everything with your dad,” he said as I climbed out of the car. I winked at him and closed the door behind me.
“That’s Kip Bentley?” my brother asked as he put me in an obnoxious headlock.
“No, dumbass, I just said his name is Sawyer,” I said through gritted teeth, punching my brother in the side so he would release me. Sawyer was pulling away as this obnoxious scene unfolded, so I hoped he hadn’t witnessed any of it. “You’re such an idiot. Get off me.”
Half-Truths Page 8
