Reina flicked a napkin in Aiko’s direction and studied the table beneath her elbows. A server with spiked hair and multiple facial piercings stopped by their corner table and deposited a small basket of chips and pretzels – she winked at Reina before returning to the bar.
Aiko dove into the pretzels and drowned her sorrow with more beer; Reina glanced at the server and traced the outline of her ass as she sauntered through the bar. Have I slept with her before? A cough brought her back to reality. She slapped Aiko on the shoulder and watched a half-eaten pretzel bounce on the table.
“That was kinda stupid of you, you know,” Reina said between sips of her beer. “You have to be careful who you come out to.”
Water sloshed in another glass as Aiko set aside her beer bottle. “But they were my friends. Who can I tell if not my friends?”
“It’s not that simple.” What Reina would give to just zap the remaining gullibility from Aiko’s brain. Cute at first, then more endearing, but now she entered dangerous territory where she could even be physically hurt if she let her inexperience with the world get the best of her. Reina had seen it before a half dozen times.
“It should be.” Aiko laid a cheek on the table. “I mean, I’d only known them half a year or so, but it was long enough for it to hurt.” She blew air across Reina’s hand. “I guess I need to make lesbian friends.”
“Good luck with that.”
“Don’t you have lots of friends?”
“Hm.” Reina ran her thumb against the mouth of her beer bottle. “No.”
“Really? But you’re so forward with people. I would think you have lots of friends.”
Reina looked over her shoulder to see the flirty server wiping glasses at the bar counter. She lifted her head and noticed Reina. Before one of them could look away, the server rolled her tongue out of her mouth, exposing a strategically placed piercing. Oh, yeah. I remember her now. Third best oral ever. She turned her head and met Aiko’s more innocent gaze. “I know a lot of people, but I don’t have many friends. Women come and go from my life.”
“Because you sleep with all of them and make them angry or jealous.”
“Mostly, yeah.”
Aiko bowed her head. “I admit, I’m a little jealous of you, too.”
“Oh?” Reina had no idea what somebody like Aiko had to be jealous of yet – it wasn’t like she had caught her in bed with another woman, or even making overt passes at somebody.
“I want to be more like you.”
That was unexpected. Reina gave a start inside her body, but the alcohol delayed her ability to show it. “What do you mean by that?”
“I mean I wish I had your confidence. Your confidence with women. I’m jealous because…” Aiko’s hesitation was sprinkled with sounds of thought and fury. “I wish I had your experience with relationships.”
“For me, a relationship is nothing more than how my omanko relates to another woman’s.” Reina drank the last of her beer.
“I know. I admire that about you, really. I wish I could be more like you. Just flirt with women and fuck them.”
Maybe she’s not so naïve after all. “From my experience, it’s you who likes being fucked.”
Aiko smiled – Reina had seen that smile before, on another woman. Michiko. Of all the ways to be taunted with, it was as if Aiko knew the road straight to Reina’s affections.
“I do.” The smile continued, pounding against Reina’s psyche and undoing the coils inside her groin. She had to cross her legs just to keep the pulses in her thighs under control. I’ll fuck her before this night is over. And hopefully Aiko would smile like that the whole time.
Heated flirtations rose like steam off boiling water. Aiko snuck her foot between both of Reina’s and rubbed the back of her calf with curling toes. That self-control inside Reina was about to wave a white flag of masochistic defeat. The only way she could respond without losing herself was to creep her fingers along the edge of the table and touch the tips of Aiko’s hair.
“You know,” Reina said, reasserting her will, “you shouldn’t try to be just like me. Just be yourself.”
That gorgeous smile faded into bemusement. “How do I know who ‘myself’ is? I’ve only recently realized I’m gay.”
“So, be exactly as you were before, but sticking your tongue in pussy instead of wrapping it around cock.”
Such deliciously vulgar imagery brought a blush to Aiko’s round cheeks.
“But you should also learn to not be so naïve. There are people who will hurt you for being lez. And I don’t just mean your feelings.”
“Don’t be such a downer.”
“I mean it.” Where was this coming from? Reina didn’t usually give two shits about baby dykes getting their reputations stomped on by society. “You might even get kicked out of your school if it gets out. You go to a women’s college, right? And what about a job? You can’t let your jobs know you’ve got a girlfriend, unless you work here in Ni-chome. And really, you don’t want to work here.”
Aiko thumped her palms against the table. “Being gay is hard.”
“It can be. Which is why you should only commit if you really believe it’s right for you.”
The way she pursed her lips was borderline adorable. “Of course it’s right! I feel it! Give me pussy!”
“Or give you death?”
“That’s right.”
Reina lifted her empty beer bottle. “That’s what I want to hear.”
They toasted and kissed, lingering on each other’s lips until Reina decided that was enough for a public place. Aiko stumbled out of her seat and announced she needed to go to the toilet. She stopped at the door and blew a kiss in Reina’s direction.
I am definitely fucking her tonight.
Aiko took her time in the toilet. Maybe there was a line. Maybe she ate something heavy for dinner. Maybe, tragically, she was on her period. Never stopped me before. Reina passed her time staring out the window at a Ni-chome night, watching salarymen pick up college-aged boys and taking them to love hotels for anonymous sex. A glimpse at the bar told Reina the sassy server was still willing to roll her tongue.
Maybe I’ll fuck her, too.
“Yamada-san.”
Reina turned. Standing beneath one of the yellow bar lights, Mago-chan looked like a mannequin wearing a cheap, black wig. Reina was half tempted to turn back around again and finish Aiko’s illegally obtained beer without a word to Little Miss Stalker, who said Reina’s name again as if she owed it to her to answer with something more than a blank visage.
I’m definitely not fucking her.
“Eh, what do you want now?” Reina leaned an elbow on the table and looked past Mago-chan. The server slinked to the back room, robbing Reina of a cute distraction.
Mago-chan reasserted herself in front of Reina. “I need to talk to you.”
“Hmph.”
“I’m serious.”
“Oh, I know.” Reina fingered the edge of the snack bowl. Salt lined her finger, like tiny crystals from Mago-chan’s tears. “How long did it take you to find me?”
The girl sucked in a breath. “You’re not hard to find,” she said upon exhale.
There are only so many places to go on a Sunday night. Reina dreamed of a day when more lesbian establishments would pop up in Ni-chome. Until then, she supposed anyone who knew anything about her could find her within five tries.
“So, what is it you need?” Reina pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and tossed her lighter onto the table with a jarring clatter. “If it’s sex, I’m busy tonight.” She debated if she should sneak a quickie with the server first or try to convince Aiko it was time for her first threesome. “And I’m kinda bored with your selfishness.”
Miss Mago flinched, but didn’t argue, nor did she turn away in a huff of tears. Instead she nodded, an acknowledgment Reina never thought she would see from another baby dyke in all her years.
“You’re right. I’m a selfish person. So are you, though.”
>
“Yeah, and?”
“Exactly. You don’t pretend to be what you’re not.”
“Heh.” Mago had a point there. The real edge Reina had above any other lesbian she knew was that she was sure of herself, in every aspect, even in those things that marked her egotistical in her culture. “Is it advice you want? I’m awful at advice. If you want to be a lesbian, then dump your boyfriend and get your life together. If you don’t want to be a lesbian, then get out of this bar before you piss somebody off. And if you want both?” She shrugged. “Be careful who you tell on both sides.” Bisexuals. What confusing people.
“I don’t know what I want.” Mago wrung her hands as if they were full of soap. No amount of soap could clean this one’s impurity. “But that’s not what I’m here to talk to you about.”
“Then what is it?”
“Tomo-chan!”
Aiko hovered near the table, eyes wider than the first time she looked at Reina’s naked body. The only sound for an entire minute was the popping of Reina’s jaw as her tongue fished for a piece of pretzel lodged in a molar.
“Ai-chan.”
“What are you doing here?”
Reina’s eyes darted between Aiko’s aggressive frame and Mago’s – no, wait, her name was Tomoko, from St. Francis – defeated countenance. Situations like these could go one of two ways: sexy, if Reina acted as the grandest mediator to ever inherit the earth, or very, very ugly. She supposed it wasn’t a good idea to let slip she had been fucking Tomoko off and on for a few weeks. These baby dykes never tell each other shit.
“She was just coming by to say hello to her senpai here.” Reina twirled the hand holding her cigarette in the air as if she spoke eternal truth. “She was telling me that you announced you were dating me yesterday. I guess things went a little bad and she came to apologize to you in the process.” Reina narrowed her eyes at Tomoko. “Isn’t that so?”
The light blinked on above her head, and she bowed to Aiko, pony-tail flopping in the space between them. “I’m sorry about yesterday, Ai-chan. I should have defended you.”
“But why…”
“I put it together a long time ago, since seeing Yamada-san and you together at that restaurant. I admit, I was shocked. I didn’t take you for that kind of girl.”
Reina wrapped her tongue around her cigarette and slid down in her seat. This was almost better entertainment than television.
“You see, sometimes I wonder if I’m…different, too. I mean, I know I am, I guess. I’ve never had a girlfriend, but I’ve…”
Tomoko glanced at Reina, who continued to smoke as if nothing was amiss. Aiko looked at her too, but her face contorted in disbelief. How is it hard to believe? You think you’re the only one in your circle I’ve had my fingers in?
“Anyway, after yesterday, I’ve wanted to find you. Both of you.”
Cigarette finished, Reina deposited it in an ashtray and sighed. “And yet somehow I doubt you want to tell us the same thing.”
“Actually, I do. I came to say goodbye.”
“Eh?” Aiko’s disbelief toward Reina was replaced with disbelief toward Tomoko. “Why? Where are you going?”
Tomoko looked prime to turn and run, but somehow her self-control won out. “I’m going back to Shiga Prefecture with my sister. My mother’s not doing so well, and well…I need to think. So I’m withdrawing from school to recollect myself. Maybe I’ll come back next year. I don’t know. Seems like every time I live in Tokyo, I end up in the arms of a woman.”
Good thing she didn’t mention that woman was usually the one sitting down. Reina doubted somebody as confused as this little Mago-chan got around the lesbian block much, but she could have been wrong. She and Michiko had shared a lot of the same girls in high school.
“Ganbatte.” All Reina could do was wish her luck. I wish them all luck. They need it.
Tomoko bowed at her and then at Aiko again. “I’m sorry I didn’t defend you to Nana yesterday. But I knew that’s how the world would see something like that, so I was afraid. I admire you for being so forthright with your feelings. You’re…” Tomoko almost looked at Reina. Almost. “You’re very lucky. You should listen to your heart.”
“Tomo-chan…”
“Goodbye. If I come back, I’ll look you up.”
She left before Aiko could say anything, or Reina could roll her eyes. Their corner of the bar became quiet once more, even after the server came by and asked if they needed anything. Reina told her they were fine, but not before giving her a sly wink with the hopes that something could still happen, with or without Aiko.
“Can you believe that?” She finally slumped back into her seat, her beer still untouched. Reina offered her a cigarette, which she declined with a wave of her hand. “One of my best friends was a lesbian this whole time and I never noticed.”
“I’m sure you know lots of lesbians. It’s just it’s a good idea not to tell everyone.”
“I’m understanding that now.”
Reina put her cigarettes away and recollected her lighter. “That’s how a lot of those girls from high school were. Experimentation. I guess some of them went on to keep thinking about it after all.”
Aiko lifted her head. “Did you ever…with Tomo-chan…”
She knows the answer to that. No point in lying. “Yes. In high school.” That didn’t mean she had to tell Aiko about the past month. No point in that, either.
“She has a boyfriend.”
“She might be the type who likes both. But I doubt it.” Reina guffawed. “Besides, if she’s going to fucking Shiga, I doubt he’ll be her boyfriend for much longer.”
Aiko paused. “Did you sleep with her recently?”
Reina stopped smiling. Here it came. “Sleep with her? No. Had sex with her?” She looked into the snack bowl. “Yes. She always came to me.”
“And you knew she was my friend.”
“That’s how I am. You know that.”
“Yes, but…” Aiko covered her mouth with her hand – her eyes rolled around in circles like two marbles plunking to the floor.
She’s only just now getting it. Reina had been harping about her sexual promiscuity for over a month, but it took fucking an old classmate for Aiko to finally understand it. “She needed reassurance about her desires. If I had told her to piss off, it may have ruined her. As it just so happens, it’s not in my nature to tell willing young ladies to piss off.”
Aiko stuffed a trembling lip into her mouth and chewed on it with vigor. Such an adorable little pout. Reina wanted to stroke those puffing cheeks.
“Do you still want to be my girlfriend?”
That question straightened Aiko’s spine and opened her mouth again. “I’m more determined than ever to be your girlfriend now.”
“That so? Do you think you’re going to tame me from fucking half this neighborhood?” She’d be the biggest idiot I’ve ever met. And I’m in show business.
“No. I don’t want to change your nature.”
“That’s good. So would I have your permission to continue doing what I do?”
“No.”
“No?”
Aiko’s powerful determination exploded through her mangled facial expressions. “If you’re my girlfriend, you’re never going to fuck another woman without me there to see it for myself.”
Reina didn’t submit to her bait. “Even Mi-chan?”
“Even her.”
Instead of thinking of all the times she ever bedded Michiko and wanted to lay with no one else, Reina picked up a pretzel and attempted to jam it up Aiko’s nostril. “I’m sure she’ll be excited to hear she’ll only be getting threesomes from me from now on,” she said.
Aiko’s scowl transformed into shock. “Are you asking me to be your girlfriend, then?”
“My girlfriend, Aiko.” It had a certain ring to it. The first sound in her name referred to the pure love and passion between two people, after all. And the second leant itself to her trademark sweet naiveté, which cr
eated an interesting foil to Reina’s jaded worldliness. If she’s my girlfriend, she’ll be there every time I fuck somebody. Maybe it was time Reina stopped going soft in her exploits. She could use an assistant.
“Maa, if you want to be my girlfriend, I guess I won’t stop you.”
Aiko kicked back her seat and embraced Reina right there in the corner of the bar. She rained affection via planted kisses, murmured declarations at how much she would try to meld into Reina’s lifestyle. “I want to know what it’s like to sleep with all sorts of women,” Aiko said. “And I want you there with me.”
Something swelled inside Reina, and it took every ounce of willpower to stop it from spreading as a troublesome infection to her face. She took Aiko’s hand and squeezed it, eyes never once leaving hers as she beseeched one last kiss. On the other side of the bar, the server shook her head as if she no longer stood a chance with Reina. She could get some tonight. With the both of us. She would continue to climb the peaks of her sexuality with as many women as possible, but now she didn’t have to do it alone.
Reina liked that thought.
Luggage rumbled and people shouted throughout one of Tokyo’s busiest train stations as if it were a certified zoo. Finding a corner to share tearful goodbyes in was about as easy as corralling children through the zoo while also separating the lions from the gazelles.
But Reina always knew how to find privacy.
Aiko stood a respectful distance away while her girlfriend hugged and kissed Michiko goodbye. In the three months since they declared their intentions for each other, Aiko had tolerated Reina’s infatuation with her best friend so long as they remained secure in the knowledge Michiko would return to America in the spring. Now that the springtime had arrived, Aiko decided to let them have their last few moments together however they wanted.
Reina attempted a kiss on the lips, but Michiko rebuffed her with a pat on the cheek. You idiot, you’re in public. Aiko glimpsed at the companion who stood on the other side of the ticket gates, picking at her nails. Apparently not everyone was as interested in this farewell.
Hatsukoi. (Lesbian Erotic Romance) (Ren'Ai Rensai) Page 26
