“That’s not my name.” She said through clenched teeth. “I’m Lydia.”
“I don’t need your help.” Mrs. McIntosh spat back, turning to glare at her. “Get out of my kitchen.”
“Fine.” Untangling her sister’s arms from around herself, Lydia fought back tears and exited the kitchen as fast as possible.
I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep putting myself through this torture.
She wasn’t asking for much, was she? Why was it so hard to get back what she’d once had with her mother? Why was it so damn hard for Mrs. McIntosh to accept her as her daughter?
“Whoa, where you going in such a hurry?” Jeb asked when she crashed into him, quickly wiping at her eyes.
“The bathroom.” She lied, ducking beneath his arm and all but running into the only safe haven she could think of. Locking the door and leaning against it, she let the dam break and God, it was relentless.
Tears fell down her cheeks like a raging waterfall and she didn’t even try to stop them as years and years of heartache finally broke through. She could handle the bullying—honest, she could. She could handle the hitting and the yelling, the laughing and the taunting, but what she couldn’t handle was her mother deliberately pretending she didn’t exist.
Of all the hate in the world, she couldn’t tolerate it from her own flesh and blood.
Slowly sinking to the floor, Lydia hugged her knees to her chest and wept silently.
So much for a good Christmas.
A knock sounded on the door and she knew she had to pull herself together. There was no way in hell she’d ruin Christmas for everyone else. It was meant to be special; their first Christmas together as a family in a very long time. Callum’s parents were there, too, and so were her best friends. It wouldn’t be fair to them if Lydia didn’t put on a smile and make the best of it.
Damn you, Mama.
“Lydia? Are you in there, honey?”
It was her dad.
“Sweetie, do you mind if I come in?”
Forcing herself to stand and peer in the mirror, she wiped at her eyes the best she could, removing her smeared mascara and readjusting her makeup to the best of her ability. Red nose, puffy eyes...damn it.
“I was just coming out.” She said, pulling the door open and carefully lifting her gaze to his. “I just needed to use the bathroom.”
“Uh huh.” He stared at her suspiciously and shook his head. “I’ve known you for twenty-five years, kid. You can’t fool me. Why were you crying?”
“Mama.” She sighed heavily—dramatically, even. Rolling her eyes, Lydia dropped her gaze to the floor and let her shoulders slump. “I’m exhausted, Daddy. I don’t know how much more effort I can put into it.”
“I know, baby. It ain’t fair.” He pulled her into a tight hug, so comforting, and rested his cheek against the top of her head. He cradled her like a small child, rocking her from side to side as the sound of his steady heartbeat calmed her. “That’s why I’m leaving her after the New Year gets here.”
“W-what?” She jerked away from him as if she’d been burned and stared at him with wide, horrified eyes. “You can’t leave her, Daddy! She’s your wife!”
“Shhh. Calm down.” He pleaded, pressing a hand over her mouth. “I don’t want the whole world to hear it, Lydia—just you. You need to know the truth.”
What truth? That she would be the reason her parents divorced? Laney had always taken pride in knowing her parents had toughed it out when others fell apart, and now it would be her fault they separated? No. Hell no. Lydia couldn’t handle that blood on her hands.
“It’s not your fault, baby. I know that’s what you’re thinking and I want you to stop right now.” He said sternly, frowning. “It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time and even though I love your mother beyond the moon and the stars, but there’s something else I love even more than her.”
Her bottom lip began to tremble and she shook her head quickly, refusing to accept what he was saying.
“You, baby. You, your brother, and your sister. You’re the only people I love more than your mama and if she hates you so much...how can I be with her? How can I keep loving someone who hates a child, we made together?”
“Daddy, no.” A sob ripped past her lips and she buried her face against his chest.
So much for going back into the dining room with a clean face.
“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. Just come enjoy Christmas dinner and open some gifts. It’s...it’s our last Christmas as a family, so let’s make the most of it, huh?”
There was so much sadness in his voice, yet Lydia knew nothing she said would make a difference.
I should be happy he’s standing up for me. He’s fighting for me. But what price was she willing to pay to let him defend her? Even though her mother sure as hell didn’t care about her feelings, she did care about hers.
“Dinner time!” Aggie chimed as she poked her head around the corner and smiled. “Come on, Lydia! We’re starving in here.”
“We’re coming.” Her father promised, nodding in Aggie’s direction. “Go on back in there, darlin. We’re right behind you.”
“Daddy, I don’t know if I can.” Lydia confessed when he peered back at her. “How do I pretend things are okay between the two of you if they obviously aren’t?”
“She already knows.”
“She does?” Her heart stopped. She felt sick. Was that why her mother was so hateful towards her as soon as she arrived? Did she already blame her for losing the love of her life? “Oh my god...”
“It’s okay, honey. Let’s go eat and we can talk about it all you want afterwards. I’d like to get to know my future son-in-law if you don’t mind.”
Forcing a sad smile, Lydia nodded and allowed him to guide her out of the bathroom. She wasn’t sure if Laney and Jeb knew about their parents’ impending divorce yet, but until she was certain, she’d put on the biggest, brightest smile she could and hope for the best.
It’s all she could do.
—————
Callum
He knew something was wrong when Lydia returned with watery eyes and a red nose.
He knew something had happened between her and her mother because Mrs. McIntosh was tense and even a half-assed smile would have made her face crack.
He knew something was wrong when Mr. McIntosh smiled at him and it did nothing to hide the sadness behind his eyes.
Something was wrong and he couldn’t get Lydia to tell him as she joined them at the dinner table and sat down in silence.
He took her hand into his own, squeezing gently to let her know she wasn’t alone, and then bowed his head to say grace when Mr. McIntosh requested them to.
“Heavenly father, we thank you for allowing us to join together again on this day on which you sent your only son, knowing what he would have to endure and the price he would have to pay for our sins. Dear Lord, I thank you for loving us so much—so much—that you were willing to give your life for us, even though we may not be worthy. Let us remember tonight, as we eat our food and laugh at corny jokes, that we are truly blessed to be surrounded by good friends and family.
“I also want to thank you again for sending my daughter back home to me and I pray that she’ll stay with us always.”
He felt Lydia’s fingers tighten around his and he pulled her closer, wrapping his arm around her.
“Just as you gave every ounce of your blood to save us, I hope my family knows I’d do the same for them. My family means so much to me, Lord. My children mean everything to me.” Mr. McIntosh struggled to keep his voice calm as he prayed. “May they always know they are the greatest gift I could have ever received and I will always love them. I’d also like to thank you for the new son-in-law I’m going to get. I pray that he has common sense and knows better than to hurt my girl.”
Everyone laughed, but Lydia’s laughter was strained. By pain? Sadness? He rubbed her shoulder and snuck a glance at her fr
om one eye. Her eyes were closed, but her face was contorted with emotions. If only he could read her mind...
“Thank you for this Christmas dinner and for letting us be together. We thank you for everything. Amen.”
Various ‘amen’s sounded from all around the table before everyone began eating. Callum was vigilant of his fiancé as she poked at her mashed potatoes and barely ate enough to keep a bird alive.
With his eyes roaming the table, it wasn’t hard to piece it altogether.
Mr. and Mrs. McIntosh kept exchanging less-than-kind stares at one another. Jeb and Laney seemed oblivious, too busy chatting with Benji, Aggie, and his parents to know what was going on—but Callum knew.
“Come outside with me?” He asked quietly, carefully placing his fork on his barely touched plate.
“Okay.” Lydia nodded, getting up from the table and following him out onto the front porch.
The cold night air bit at his nose and caused his eyes to water as he huddled beneath his coat and gazed at her.
“My dad is leaving my mom because of me.”
“Oh.” The word left his lips before he really had time to think about it. He knew whatever was going on was bad, but not that bad. Never would he have imagined Lydia’s mother being so damn stubborn that she would risk her marriage. And God, he could only imagine how it made Lydia feel.
“They’re getting divorced because of me.” She choked on a sob.
He immediately pulled her into his arms and held her as tightly as he could, hoping the strength of his embrace would somehow make the pain go away.
“It’s not your fault, baby. It’s not. Your mother brought this on herself. You can’t be blamed for it.”
“Yes, I can!” She argued, her voice muffled against his chest. “She wanted two boys and I made her have two girls instead. I was so s-selfish. I c-can’t believe they’re getting divorced.”
“You’re not selfish, Lydia. You weren’t happy in your skin so you did what you had to do. You’re happy now, aren’t you?”
“I was.” She stammered, hiccupping. “But how can I be happy knowing this? Only a heartless b-bitch would cast the blame aside. It’s my fault.”
“No, Lydia.” He closed his eyes and sighed. “Baby, you are the furthest thing from a heartless bitch. You are wonderful. Cinderella, remember? That’s you.”
“B-but even Cinderella forgave her stepmother in the end. Sometimes I struggle with forgiving my mom for everything she’s done to me. I just wanted her to love me—the new me. That’s all I wanted. And now my dad is going to leave her because she can’t do it.”
“Please don’t cry anymore, Lydia. You’re breaking my heart.” He said in a broken whisper. “Your pain is my pain now, baby.”
“I’m s-sorry.”
“It’s ok—”
The screen door flew open and collided with his elbow causing pain to surge up his arm as he quickly pulled Lydia away, narrowly avoiding being run over by her mother.
Mrs. McIntosh was upset and in a hurry.
“I hope you’re happy!” She screamed at Lydia, tears streaking her cheeks. “Enjoy your Christmas dinner, damn it.”
As she stomped down the steps and hastened to her car, Callum and Lydia stood there, dumbfounded. What the hell happened?
“Good riddance!” Mr. McIntosh shouted as he bounded out the door. His wife stomped the gas, sending snow everywhere as she sped out of the driveway, zigzagging.
“She doesn’t need to be driving in this weather!” Lydia wailed, her nails biting into Callum’s wrist. “Daddy, what happened? Why is she leaving?”
“It wasn’t my fault.” He muttered, rubbing a hand over his bald head. “She was going on her usual tirade about you and...well, everything you’ve been through and that’s when she and your mama”—he nodded to Callum—“exchanged a few words.”
“My mom?” Callum asked in surprise.
“Yeah,” Mr. McIntosh sighed. “We were talking about your engagement and my wife, damn her stubborn heart, asked how it was possible to love anybody like Lydia,”—Lydia visibly flinched—“and then your mother retaliated by asking how she couldn’t love Lydia. That’s when she blew up and took off out the door like a maniac. Damn it, I guess I should go after her.”
“Daddy, the weather is going to get worse at any second.” Lydia argued. “That’s why we came in the four-wheel drives. Mama could be in danger.”
“It’s not the first time.” He held the door open and ushered them back inside. “Your mother is as fearless as they come, Lydia, and the most stubborn of them all!”
Once they were back inside, Callum realized the dinner was obviously over because Laney and Jeb were cleaning the table off and his father was consoling his mother. He would have given anything to see his mom go head-to-head with Lydia’s, but he was where he was meant to be when everything happened; with her.
“Well, your mother took off like a deranged heathen.” Mr. McIntosh announced as he limped towards the table. “Somebody bring me some pie. I need pie.”
“Callum,” Lydia said softly, tugging at the sleeve of his coat. “We have to go after her. The roads were slippery enough when we came in, let alone now. What if she wrecks?”
Pinching his eyebrows together, Callum quickly realized it was easy to fall even further in love with the beautiful girl standing before him.
No matter how much her mother hated her, she still loved her very much.
And Lydia called herself selfish. Ha!
“Please.” She pleaded, her eyes darting back and forth between his. “Even if we just follow her to wherever she’s going and turn right back around, I just have to make sure she makes it there safely.”
“Okay, baby.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Anything for you.”
Chapter Twenty-three
Lydia
Thirty minutes passed by and they still hadn’t left, mainly because her father was being just as stubborn as her mom. She could understand his frustration—God, could she ever—but it was getting later and colder, which meant the roads were going to be in worse shape.
No matter what her mother had put her through or how she’d treated her in the past, Lydia didn’t wish for anything bad to happen to her.
“It’s starting to snow again.” Laney stood at the window, peering outside with a worrisome frown. “I think it’s going to get bad.”
“I know.” Lydia joined her at the window and sighed, hugging her arms around herself. “I wish she hadn’t left like that. I mean I could have left. She didn’t need to.”
“Don’t talk like that, Lydia. You have just as much right to be here as anyone else.” Her sister turned to gaze at her, offering a comforting smile. “I’m so glad you were here this Christmas. Something’s always felt that it was missing and I always knew what that something was; you.”
“Stop it.” Lydia pushed her arm playfully, but she knew it was the truth. Being away from her family for so long, especially on the holidays, had been hard on her. Had she known that coming back would make her feel so happy, she would have done it a long time ago.
She was willing to ignore her mother’s hatefulness if it meant she could be surrounded with love from her father, brother, sister, and Callum.
She sought him out then, that beautiful boyfriend—no, fiancé—of hers and found him standing with his father near the kitchen entrance. They seemed to be in deep conversation, but when their eyes met, he winked at her, causing butterflies to erupt in her stomach.
How did I get so lucky?
“Okay.” Mr. McIntosh grunted as he got up from his seat and headed towards the coat rack. “I reckon I ought to go get your crazy mother and bring her back home before she gets herself killed.”
“Finally.” Lydia sighed, putting her own coat back on. “Callum and I are coming with you.”
She had a feeling she just couldn’t shake. Dread pooled in her stomach and its icy grasp could be felt all the way up into her chest. She didn’t like it. Not one bi
t.
“I’m going, too.” Jeb said, finishing off another piece of pie. “Somebody’s going to have to drive her back.”
“I can drive her back.” Her father replied. “We need to talk anyway.”
We need to talk anyway. Lydia didn’t like that. It still bothered her that her mother would end up divorced because of her. It didn’t matter the reasoning behind it—it was a fear she’d always had. Being responsible for her parents breaking up—no matter what her father said—would haunt her for the rest of her life.
“I’d be happy to take you in my car, Mr. M.” Callum offered, zipping his coat up and shoving his hands into his pockets to find his keys. “I’ve got four-wheel drive and it’s the most advanced to date.”
“Don’t go bragging now, boy.” Mr. McIntosh teased lightly, nodding. “You can drive me if you want to. You got a flashlight in that fancy SUV of yours?”
“I do.” Mr. Reynolds tossed his keys to his son. “Take whatever you need out of the back. There should be some road flairs back there, too.”
“How bad do you think they expect it to get?” Laney asked Lydia quietly, gripping her arm like a vice.
“I don’t know.” Lydia whispered back, biting her inner cheek. “I just hope we find Mama.”
—————
Lydia
“The snow is coming down hard now.” Jeb commented from the backseat, gripping the back of Lydia’s seat as he glanced out the window. “I don’t remember the forecast calling for this much snow.”
“Neither do I.” She replied quietly, straining to see past the blur of white as it fell heavily against the windshield. “Be careful, Callum.”
“This isn’t nothing compared to what I drove through when I lived in Massachusetts.” He commented, reaching over to rest his hand atop hers—probably not the best idea, but it was comforting. “Just keep an eye on the side of the road. She may have pulled over.”
“She better have enough sense to pull over.” Her father grumbled from the back seat. While he hadn’t seemed so concerned earlier, the worry was easy to see now. He’d been fidgeting in the backseat for the last few minutes as if he couldn’t keep still. “Do you see anything yet?”
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