“Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this, Jake. But it’s true. John T. confided in me weeks ago.”
A pulse beat out a hasty rhythm in his neck. Jake swore under his breath. Cassie had come into his life and turned it upside down. But now she was telling him something he was sure couldn’t be true. “I don’t believe it.”
“I wouldn’t lie.”
“No, not you. I don’t believe him. He’s just trying to win your sympathy, Cassie.”
“He was there in Colorado, when your horse threw a shoe. He was there when you won your first ever go-round. He was there to see you take Rookie of the Year honors, Jake.”
A shudder went through Jake’s body. He had to know the truth of it, because he’d never once thought John T. had any use for his career. He’d been hell-bent on getting Jake to work the ranch with him. “Why?”
Cassie smiled sadly. “Why? Do you really have to ask? Jake, you’re his son. He’s proud of you.”
“He never told me.”
“Would you have wanted him there? Would you have welcomed him?”
“Hell no!” The words rushed out of his mouth fast, giving Cassie reason to shake her head.
“John T. has as much pride as you do. Rejection doesn’t set well with anyone, but especially with a prideful man.”
“Damn.” Jake couldn’t think of anything else to say. He spent the remainder of the trip deep in thought, too shocked, too full of pent-up anger and confused emotion to make casual conversation. Once they arrived at the ranch, Jake parked the truck in front of the guest house.
Cassie turned to him, her gaze solemn and questioning. “What will you do if you win the championship in December?”
The baby was due around the holiday time. For Jake it meant that he might achieve his longtime goal and become a father in the very same month. “What would I do? A man can’t win too many championships, Cassie. I’d go back, just like I told the boy today. No matter what. It’s what I do.”
Cassie nodded, regret evident in her eyes. It was the same sort of look he’d witnessed in his wife’s eyes while they lived in the shortest recorded marriage in recent Carson Valley history. “I see.”
Another shudder waved its way down Jake’s body. Cassie didn’t see. She didn’t know his life. He thought that they would become closer on this trip, but judging by the look on her face and the tone of her voice, Jake feared the opposite to be true. Cassie hadn’t been wooed at all. She hadn’t fallen victim to his charms. She hadn’t jumped with joy at his proposals. Clearly she didn’t understand him or the life he chose to lead.
And she confused the hell out of him with her revelations, her questions, and the look of disappointment he found too often on her pretty face. Everything Jake thought to be true was now muddied up in his mind. It was as if he’d been blinded in a dust storm, only to open his eyes, not knowing if what he was seeing was truth or some false mirage. He found himself wrapped up, spun in a web, tangled with thoughts that wove around him in an intricate pattern that he couldn’t undo. Was it truth or mirage? How would he ever untangle himself and come out whole and in one piece? The survivor in him, for the first time in a very long time, didn’t actually know.
Jake left Cassie at her door, his mind a million miles away. He couldn’t bear to see that look in her eyes another minute. He couldn’t bear to hear the disappointed tone in her voice. He couldn’t deal with her right now.
He had his own troubles to face.
Cassie sat next to John T. in his study, going over some accounts that were past due. John T. knew his clients well, which ones were in dire straits and which were just lazy about settling up. Cassie had come to rely on his judgment and his expertise. When he leaned back in his tufted leather wing chair, Cassie relaxed, too. She didn’t want to tire him out.
In typical John T. fashion he stared at her belly, with no attempt to be subtle. “How’s the baby doing?”
“Great. I’m happy to report.” She patted her stomach, giving it a loving rub. “I think I’m beginning to feel movement.”
John T.’s gaze widened. “That so?”
“Well, I know it’s a bit early, but yes, I think so. I feel little flutters.”
“And Jake? Does he know?”
Cassie grimaced. She hadn’t seen much of Jake lately. Ever since their weekend together, weeks ago, he’d come over a few times to say hello but he’d been distant at best. He had issues to deal with and Cassie had only hoped he was doing just that, dealing with them. She hoped he was doing some serious thinking. “No. I haven’t seen much of him this week.”
This time John T. grimaced. “Pretty soon, none of us will see much of him. It’s almost July, otherwise known as Christmastime for the rodeo. From before Independence Day on, there’s more rodeo events to be had, more money to be made and more points to earn. Most cowboys don’t see a day at home during that time.”
“Oh.” Cassie couldn’t keep the dejection out of her voice. As much as she wanted Jake to take stock of his life, as much as she hoped she’d made a dent in his hard-edged armor, she had also missed him. Now it seemed as though she wouldn’t be seeing him for another month or so. And even fatherhood wouldn’t keep him home from the rodeo. He’d stated plainly that next year would be more of the same.
Thoughts filtered in that Cassie had consistently tried to banish from her mind. Would she and her baby always come second place with Jake? Would he abandon her time and again for the sake of a championship? Would he continue to deny his proper place as heir to the ranch? But most important, would he continue to shield his heart from her?
Cassie didn’t know if she could play second fiddle again. It was too much to ask. She and the baby deserved more.
“Want me to speak to him when he gets back?” John T. offered.
“No. That’s not necessary. He’s doing what he has to do.” Cassie didn’t want to be the driving wedge between Jake and his father. She’d learned from Lottie that Jake had confronted John T. about his coming to the rodeo to see him compete. Jake had wanted to know the truth and the two had butted heads. What might have been an earnest reckoning had turned into a stubborn battle of wills. Cassie had blamed herself and apologized to John T. for letting the proverbial cat out of the bag. It seemed that all of her attempts to get the two closer failed. Cassie couldn’t help feeling somewhat responsible. “Where is he this time?”
John T. scratched his head. “I think that boy muttered something about Denver before he took off yesterday.”
So Jake was gone again. Cassie sighed then leaned back and stretched, lifting her arms high overhead. She’d been sitting in the chair for almost an hour and suddenly, she felt stiff all over.
John T. smiled. “You need some exercise. And I promised to the doctor I’d walk two miles everyday.” John T. stood, reaching for her hand. “Why don’t you join me? Sure would like the company.”
Cassie bounded out of the chair, taking up his hand and his offer. “Sounds good to me.”
Three hours later Cassie rested her head on the pillow in her hospital bed—the events of the past afternoon rushing by like a spiraling cyclone. One minute she was having a pleasant walk with John T. up on the south pasture, the next she was stumbling over a rock and falling down a three-foot slope. She’d righted herself quickly, but then the cramps had started instantly…and the bleeding. Cassie had doubled over in pain. She’d never known fear like that before. She’d never been gripped with such intense emotion. She’d prayed and prayed for her baby. The fall hadn’t been that bad, she’d thought at first, but then she’d felt something terribly wrong and panic had seized her.
She’d been rushed to the hospital, John T. and Lottie by her side. Thank God her friends had been there.
“John T. is trying to get in touch with Jake. So far he hasn’t been able to reach him. But don’t you worry, honey, we’ll catch up with him.” Lottie squeezed her hand gently.
Cassie closed her eyes. Hold on, Cassie. Don’t lose it. Everything’s going
to be fine. The doctor says the baby isn’t in any danger. The cramping and bleeding have stopped. All is well. You heard the baby’s heartbeats just a minute ago.
But Cassie wanted Jake. She wanted to see him, to have him hold her in his arms. She needed him right now, more than she ever had before. The doctor had given her news she desperately wanted to share with Jake. Where was he? It had been hours since the fall. Was he competing? How long before he would get the message and call?
“The doctor says the baby is just fine.”
“Thank God, Lottie. I’ve never been so frightened in my life.” Cassie lay a protective, soothing hand on her stomach. “It was such a freak accident. I don’t know what I would have done if the baby…” Tears clouded her eyes and Cassie couldn’t speak for a moment. “I wish Jake was here.”
Lottie smiled reassuringly. “He’s a good man, Cassie. He’ll be in touch. Don’t you worry. Now, get some rest. If all goes well, the doctor says he’ll release you in the morning.”
Jake was a good man, Cassie thought lovingly. She needed him. He’ll call as soon as he gets the message.
Cassie closed her eyes peacefully, thankful for all the good things in her life, and finally allowed sleep to claim her.
Fourteen
Jake entered his hotel room, glancing at the clock with a frown. Damn, he’d stayed out past midnight, nursing one drink at the bar, listening to the band and shooting the breeze with the guys. He’d never been one to indulge, but lately he found he needed to keep his mind off one gorgeous redhead. She’d been entering his thoughts too often these days, making him question his life, making him uncomfortable with doubt.
But at least he had the good sense not to overdo before the finals tomorrow. Hangovers don’t bode well when you’re racing to rope a calf. And that’s another thing, ever since he met up with Cassie, he’d questioned his lot in life. Just today, as he was looping the rope overhead, ready to make the toss, an uncanny notion filtered in.
This is a fool way to earn a living.
Jake resented that thought as much as he questioned the why of it. He had Cassie Munroe on the brain.
Jake sat down on his bed and tossed off his boots. As he began unbuttoning his shirt, he glanced over to see the telephone light blinking. He lifted the receiver and followed the directions, getting three messages, all from John T., his craggy voice elevated and more than slightly panicked.
Jake listened, his heart thumping hard in his chest.
“Cassie took a fall… She was rushed to the hospital… They’re taking tests….”
Jake only half listened to the rest of the messages, his mind working overtime. Good Lord, Cassie had been hurt. She’d been bleeding. She’d been taken to the hospital. Jake had to speak with her. He had to know she was all right. And the baby. Their baby. How did the baby fare in all of this? Stark fear entered his heart. His body physically shook. He was so far away, too far to get to her right away. Damn. He needed to see her.
Since meeting Cassie he had struggled with emotions too raw and deep to name. He’d fought his feelings for her, just as he’d fought his father. With deep, soulful intensity. He’d been bitter and angry and afraid. Yes, afraid to feel anything for the two people in his life that meant the most to him. He’d had a lousy childhood, but his life since coming to the ranch hadn’t been bad. It could have been better, had he allowed it. But ingrained hostility and apprehension had entered into the mix and Jake had put up walls to protect himself.
But all that was over now. He needed Cassie in his life. And it took an accident to knock him upside the head, proving once and for all how much she really did mean to him. He couldn’t keep up the battle, the price of losing Cassie, far too high. He’d lost, or had he won?
Yes. He’d won, because he loved Cassie.
He could say it now, and damn the consequences. He had to speak with her. He had to hear her voice and own up to the truth. His truth. He had to tell her she would never play second fiddle again.
But the hospital wouldn’t let his calls go through. Of course, it was too late. They wouldn’t wake her. She needed to rest.
Jake took up his keys and packed his belongings quickly. He had a few things to attend to before leaving, then he’d drive all night to see Cassie in person.
And tell her what was in his heart.
It was late in the afternoon when Jake finally pulled inside the gates of the ranch. He’d stopped to telephone ahead to find that Cassie had been released from the hospital. That must be a good sign, he thought. She was home.
But when Jake knocked on her door, oddly, no one answered. Jake walked over to the main house, hoping that Lottie and John T. were busy pampering Cassie. Maybe they were having an early dinner. That sounded good. After the long drive, Jake was famished, for Cassie and for a hot plate of food. He needed both right now.
He met John T. on the front porch. “You’re a little too late, son.”
Jake’s heart skipped a beat. “Where is she?”
“Gone. I couldn’t stop her. She got a clean bill of health from the doctor. Thank God, for that. But when she didn’t hear from you, she took off. Going back to Los Angeles to work with her brother. Nearly broke my heart to see her go, Jake. Why the hell didn’t you call her at least?”
Anger surfaced, but Jake tamped it down. That was the old Jake, the one who had too many defenses for his own good. And he’d recognized what he’d done to Cassie all this time. It was the same thing he’d tried to do to John T. He’d driven her away. He could see that now. He knew that she hadn’t abandoned him, but rather the opposite. He had abandoned her. And he was willing to do whatever it took to make things right. “I didn’t get your messages until after midnight. I tried calling the hospital, but they wouldn’t put me through, so I packed up and drove all night.”
John T. scratched his head. “Cassie kept saying she wasn’t going play second fiddle anymore. She’s through with you, Jake. She doesn’t think you care anything for her.”
“I love her, Dad.”
John T. blinked, a look of shock on his face, and Jake didn’t know if it was his admission of love or the fact that he’d called him Dad that had caused it.
But John T. smiled, a genuine, heartfelt smile that Jake finally could return. They grinned together. “I’ve got things to say to you and a plan for us to work at the ranch, but I’ve got to get Cassie back first. How long ago did she leave?”
“She couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to Lottie. If you hurry, and take the shortcut over the canyon, you might catch her on the road up by Lottie’s house.”
“I’ll follow her all the way to Los Angeles if I have to. That woman’s the best thing in my life.”
“Well, now, we finally agree. You go after her, son. Good luck.”
Jake nodded then took a step, then another, toward his father. He wrapped his arms around John T. and gave him a brief hug. “Thanks, Dad.”
John T.’s eyes misted up and his voice went soft. “You go on now. Bring her home.”
Cassie dried her eyes with a tissue Lottie had given her. “This is so hard, Lottie,” she said, ignoring the tea Lottie had put out and the blueberry muffins. She was too brokenhearted to eat or drink. All she’d done today was cry. She sat at Lottie’s kitchen table, willing herself to get up and leave. She had a long drive ahead of her. She couldn’t bear to stay at the ranch another day, knowing how little she meant to Jake. Knowing he hadn’t even bothered to call her. “I hate saying goodbye to you. It was hard enough seeing the look of pain on John T.’s face. I’m taking his grandchild away. But I swear to you both, you’ll see us, whenever you want.”
“Oh, honey. Are you sure you want to leave? Maybe, if you stayed on a little while longer, things would work out.”
Sadly, Cassie shook her head. “No. I have to be strong. I can’t live here, knowing that I’m just an afterthought to Jake. I was in the hospital most of the morning and he never called. He didn’t call the house, either. He was too busy with th
e rodeo. It’s all very clear to me now. I thought that if I loved him enough, if I proved to him, that John T. truly did care for him, that Jake would finally come around. But his wounds are too deep, I’m afraid. I couldn’t get through to him. So, now,” Cassie said, rising slowly, “I have to go.”
Cassie hugged her friend tight and Lottie walked her outside. “Call me when you arrive, okay?”
“I will. I promise.” Cassie got into her car and started the engine, waving a last goodbye to Lottie.
“You’re coming to our wedding.”
“I wouldn’t miss it,” Cassie said, smiling through a cloud of tears as she drove off down the road and out the gate, leaving her friends and heart behind.
Jake’s luck was holding. Mounted on Shadow up on a hill, he peered down at the road. Cassie’s neon-yellow bug of a car was stopped alongside a tree, apparently out of gas. The woman in dark sunglasses, tight jeans and black boots walked with purpose down the road, the slight bulge of her stomach against the flow of her soft-pink shirt bringing a wave of warmth to his heart.
“C’mon, Shadow. Looks like the lady needs rescuing.” Jake made his way down a steep path, halting his mount just a few yards from Cassie’s approach.
He reined in Shadow. “Need some help?”
“No thanks, cowboy.” She walked right past him. But he didn’t miss her look of stunned surprise before she plastered on a stone face.
Jake rode up ahead, dismounted and waited for her. He jutted out his arms in surrender, much like a man being held at gunpoint, although Jake had to admit Cassie’s weapons were far more dangerous. “I know, I know. You don’t need a white knight.”
“That’s right. That’s not what I need.” Cassie removed her sunglasses, pointing them at him, and those incredible green eyes, once again, nearly knocked him to his knees. He took a long, slow look at her, grateful that she appeared so healthy. And his heart pounded wildly—his love for her slamming hard against his chest. “I’m through with white knights. So you can climb back up on your horse.”
Expecting the Cowboy's Baby Page 16
