“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I shrug.
“OK. Here goes,” he says, fixing me with that x-ray gaze of his. “You’ve heard some talk about this movie Avery and I were set to be working on together, right?”
“Right,” I reply. “Your blue-haired admirers were talking about it at my parents’ house last night. Gritty police drama. Star vehicle. Avery had a part, too.”
“Those are the broad strokes, yeah,” Jack nods. “But let me fill you in on some of the finer details, alright?”
“I’m all ears,” I reply, sipping my vodka tonic.
“This film. It isn’t just a lucky break for me,” Jack goes on, palming his lowball glass of amber liquor, “It’s something I’ve been working to bring about for years now. It’s based on this novel I read—and no jokes about my being able to read book without pictures, please.”
“I said nothing,” I say, grinning into my drink.
“Anyway. The second I finished this book, City in Red, I knew that it would make a great film. Not only that, I knew that if it was made into a movie, I wanted in as the lead. It’s this ‘50s era, gritty noir story. Very in right now. Anyway, something about the protagonists’s story just struck a chord with me. I tracked down the people who owned the movie rights and told them I wanted in. Only problem was, it was a tiny little production company who’d ended up with the rights to make City in Red into a film, and this is a story that needs a big budget if it’s going to be any good. So, I started working my ass off to attract some deeper pockets. I may not be a star yet, but I’ve been working in Hollywood long enough to have some decent connections. And I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’m pretty excellent at getting people to do what I want.”
“And so modest, too,” I tease him.
“Just speaking the truth. I worked for years, waiting for the right studio to bite. And at last, after I’d landed some decent supporting roles and showed my acting chops a bit, the big dogs finally perked up their ears.”
“And this pack of big dogs was...who?” I ask.
“Apollo Pictures,” Jack grins proudly, “The biggest of the big. And headed up by the baddest bitch in Hollywood, too—Miriam Blake.”
That name certainly rings a bell. I’m not exactly up to date on the who’s-who of Hollywood, but even I’ve read an article or two about Miriam Blake, the CEO of Apollo Pictures. By all accounts, she is indeed a woman to be reckoned with. Started out as a script assistant back in the golden days of Hollywood, and has been working her way up the ladder ever since. She’s an infamously ruthless ball-buster. I read that she once turned down a feature headlined by Al Pacino because, and I quote, “That overrated sad-sack wouldn’t get a respectable haircut.” The only thing fiercer than her temper is her talent for making excellent movies.
That’s Miriam Blake for you.
“I had no idea this movie was such a big deal,” I say to Jack, “Or that you managed to bring the Queen B herself onboard. That’s huge news, Jack. Why haven’t I seen more publicity for this thing?”
“Honestly?” Jack replies, leaning toward me and lowering his voice, “It’s because we’re not exactly that far into filming. We spent all this time shaping the publicity campaign first, and we’re only just now getting down to the real work of it.
“Oh...” I reply, surprised, “From what I’ve been hearing, I thought it was mostly in the can already.”
“Not so much,” Jack says, his eyes glinting with earnest enthusiasm. I can sense that we’re about to get to the heart of the matter, here.
“So...Hold on,” I say, backtracking a bit, “Where did Avery come into all of this? Apollo Pictures is a serious movie studio. Miriam Blake apparently eats the likes of Al Pacino for breakfast. And Avery...Well...”
“Avery wasn’t much of an actress. I know,” Jack finishes bluntly.
“Whoa,” I exclaim, “Maybe go a little easier there, Jack. She just died, for god’s sake—”
“I’m well aware of that,” he shoots back sternly, “But you know as well as I do, Cal, that Avery wasn’t all that interested in being a serious actress. She just thought it was fun. And a good excuse to come hang out in LA with me. She had the whole commercial look down pat, but she wasn’t all that talented otherwise.”
I feel my face flushing with protective indignation. Even I have to admit, Avery wasn’t all that great of an actress. But it still feels wrong to be talking about her like this, so soon after...
“Shit. I’m sorry,” Jack says gruffly, reaching for my hand on the bar. I let him take it, amazed at the electric shock that shoots up my arm the second he does. “I’m doing that whole ‘insensitive asshole’ thing again, right?”
“That you are,” I say quietly, trying to keep my head on straight as Jack rubs his thumb against my hand.
“I’m just trying to be honest,” he insists. “Avery knew all this stuff as well as anyone. It was never her dream to be an artist, but she wasn’t about to say no to fame and fortune. I mean, who would?”
“Fine. But if everything you’re saying is true, what was she doing working on this movie?” I shoot back, finally working up the strength to lift my hand away.
A pained expression crossed Jack’s gorgeous features. “To tell you the truth...it was all my doing. We needed someone to play the love interest of the lead. Just a small role, you know? Nothing too heavy. And Avery had been so down on herself, just sort of drifting...I wanted to give her something to be excited about. So, I talked the people at Apollo Pictures into giving her the part.”
“But, this project clearly means the world to you,” I reply, “Why would you risk its quality by casting someone you didn’t think could act?”
“The film does mean a lot to me,” Jack says softly, “But not as much as Avery did.”
A hard knot rises in my throat as Jack glances away, his face hard with restrained emotion. I’ve got to go easier on him, here. I have to remember that he’s lost someone, too. Avery wasn’t just my sister, she was also Jack’s...what? Costar? Friend? Future wife? It’s still a little hazy.
“It was good of you, bringing her on board,” I whisper. “Did it...Was she happy to be working on the film?”
“She had a blast with the initial publicity stuff,” Jack smiles sadly, “It was just a bunch of photo shoots, with us actors dressed up in these pulpy 1950’s costumes. Very classy. Very Old Hollywood. She was in her element.”
The idea of Avery living it up, wrapped in feather boas and sequins while mugging for the cameras, brings a smile to my face.
“And the actual filming?” I go on, “How did she handle that?”
Jack pauses to take a long swig of his drink. He’s bracing himself for something, I can tell. But what?
“We, uh, never got to find out how she’d handle being on set,” he says slowly, his jaw pulsing with tension. “By the time we really got to shooting, she’d already started spinning out of control. I thought that bringing her onto the film would help her focus, give her something to look forward to in life. But she was in so deep with the drugs and booze by then—not to mention the shitty people she was spending time with—that nothing was going to pull her back up. She was called in for a few days on set, but she never showed up. Not once.”
“So...She never actually shot any of her scenes? Is that what you’re telling me?” I ask.
“Yeah,” Jack replies, shaking his head, “That’s exactly what I’m telling you, Cal.”
I shove a hand through my dirty blonde locks, letting out a deep breath as I try to wrap my head around Jack’s predicament. “Shit,” I mutter, “After all the time and effort you put into getting the film on track, this must be a huge setback. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this, on top of everything else. I mean, my god, your fiancée just passed away...”
Jack shoots me an impatient look. Did I say something wrong?
“Wait a minute...” I go on, narrowing my eyes at him, “Your engagement to Avery...That wasn’t just part of some
publicity stunt for the film, was it?”
His eyes go wide with indignation. “Of course not,” he snaps.
“Then what was with the look?” I press him, “Why do you change the subject every time I mention the fact that you two were engaged?”
“Because,” he begins, gritting his teeth, “Every time someone says the word ‘fiancee’, it’s another remind of how badly I failed her.”
“What are you talking about, Jack?” I ask, exasperated. More than a few heads have swiveled our way as the conversation’s heated up. That’s just what we need—some intrepid entertainment blogger speculating about a feud between Jackson Cole and Avery Benson’s normal-person twin sister.
Jack knocks back the rest of his whiskey, struggling to find the right words. “It was all...part of the same plan,” he finally growls, looking straight ahead. “The film role, the engagement, a million other little things...It was all supposed to come together as a new chance for her. A clean slate. It was my last stand against all the things that were threatening to ruin her. And I lost, Callie. I did everything I could to save Avery, and nothing...”
I feel my heart straining at the fault lines as Jack trails off, his voice ragged with grief. I nod to the bartender for another round and rest my hand on Jack’s broad back. His tightly-wound muscles ripple beneath the fine fabric of his jacket, and his smooth brow is furrowed with frustrated despair.
“You were going to marry Avery...to try and keep her safe?” I ask softly.
A single bark of laughter rises up from his throat. “That I was,” he confirms. “Brilliant idea, I know. But hey, they say you’re supposed to marry your best friend, right? Avery was my best friend, we were inseparable. There was no way either of us was going to settle down with any of the losers we were in the habit of dating, so...it seemed like a good bet, I guess.”
I stare at Jack, my slender hand running along the space between his shoulder blades. A thousand warring emotions rampage inside of me. The grief I’m already feeling in the wake of Avery’s death is doubled by the pain it’s causing Jack. I’m so moved by everything he did to try and help my sister, and so wracked with guilt that I wasn’t there to help either of them. I regret more than ever the estrangement that forced Avery and I out of each other’s lives.
But buried beneath all those conflicting feelings, a tiny spark of hope is flickering to life. If Avery and Jackson’s engagement was really just a gesture of friendship, rather than romantic love...If she was like a sister to him, instead of a lover...Then could be there be something more behind this reunion of ours than two old friends grabbing a drink? Could I actually be getting another chance at having Jackson Cole in my life, the way I’ve always wanted him to be?
There’s only one way to find out.
“Jack,” I say softly, moving my body just a hair closer to his, “I’m so sorry you’ve been going through this alone. I just want you to know...I’m here for you. Whatever you need, whatever I can do to help, just say the word. OK?”
He looks up at me, and I feel the intensity of his gaze sizzle along every nerve ending in my body. We’re sitting mere inches apart at this elegant bar, both dressed to kill, alone for the first time in our adult lives. In the midst of so much pain and heartache, I feel my heart fill up with hope. Have we made it through the storm, at last? After so many years, have we finally come to a place where we can take a crack at being together?
“Thanks Cal,” he finally says, his voice thick with emotion, “It hasn’t been easy these past few years, you know? I was the only person Avery knew when she moved out to LA. It’s insane, I know, but I felt this huge responsibility to keep her safe.”
“You were always looking out for her,” I nod, “For both of us.”
“Trying to, anyway,” Jack says, shaking his head. “But you know how Avery is. Was. No one could stop her from doing what she wanted, when she wanted.”
“That’s Avery all over,” I laugh softly.
“I thought that it would be easier to keep track of her, once we started working on the movie,” Jack goes on, “But no dice. To be perfectly honest, we would have been well underway with shooting if it hadn’t been for her erratic behavior. I have it on pretty good authority that she was about to get fired from the job altogether.”
“You’re kidding,” I breathe.
“I’m not,” Jack sighs, “I just...felt like such a fucking failure the whole time. I was letting Avery down, letting the studio down, and tanking this project that I’d been trying to get in the works for years. It’s like everything I touched was turning to shit.”
“That must have been so hard,” I say softly.
“It was a real bitch,” Jack chuckles sadly, “But now that the worst has happened...I don’t know. I’m just ready to throw caution to the wind and do whatever I have to, to get this movie made. Life’s too short, you know? I know that Avery would have wanted me to soldier on without her, by any means. Her passing away...it’s really put things into perspective for me. It’s like this crazy weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I just want to run with that feeling while I can.”
“You should!” I urge him. “Do whatever you need to, break any rules that are standing in your way. And know that I’m here for you, if you ever need me. If there’s any way I can help you, just say the word and I’m there.”
“I’m so glad to hear you say that,” Jack says, his face breaking into a relieved, elated smile. “You have no idea.”
“I mean it,” I assure him, “No ask is too big.”
“Well that’s excellent news,” he smiles, “Because...well, there is something I want to ask you, Callie.”
My heart leaps into my throat as I try to guess what his question might be. Do you want to be with me? Will you come away with me? Do you know how long I’ve wanted you?
“Go ahead then,” I urge him, moving my hand to where his is resting on the bar. An eager smile lifts my lips as I hang on his every word.
“OK,” Jack breathes, giving my hand a squeeze. “Here it is. Callie...
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod, my mind is reeling.
“How would you feel about taking Avery’s place in City of Red?” he finishes, looking at me expectantly.
I keep my eyes trained on Jack’s face, waiting. He’s handed me a joke...but where’s the punchline? I wait for him to explain, to laugh, to put all kidding aside. But as the seconds creep by, a heavy realization slams into my gut.
He’s not kidding. Not at all.
“I’m sorry...What?” I blink, my heart beginning to race in a very different, far less pleasant way.
“I want you to come with me. Be in my movie. Avery’s role needs to be filled before we can start shooting, and I want you to be the one to fill it,” Jack says again, his voice eager and assured. “So? What do you say?”
I don’t say anything at all. I reach for my replenished drink and drain half of it in one giant gulp. Jack’s smile wavers as I set the glass down, hard, my hands beginning to shake.
“OK. I’m not sure I understand what’s happening right now,” he says, lifting an eyebrow. “You were just going on about throwing caution to the wind and all...Are you mad at me, or—?”
“I don’t even think I have a word for what I am right now,” I sputter.
“I thought you’d be thrilled,” Jack shoots back, frowning at my dismay. “I’m offering you the opportunity of a lifetime, here.”
“You’re offering me the opportunity of Avery’s lifetime,” I whisper heatedly, blinking back baffled tears. “What, you figure you can just plug me into her place in the world? Christ, Jack—I’m not even a real actress! What the hell are you thinking with this? Were we always that interchangeable to you?”
He stares at me like I’ve just spit in his face. “Of course not,” he growls. “How could you—? Why would you—?” Never in my life have I seen Jack at a loss for words like this. He drains the rest of his drink, throws a fifty dollar bill onto the bar, and takes me by the el
bow. “Come on,” he says, nodding toward the exit.
“Where is it you think we’re going?” I shoot back icily.
“Up to my room,” he informs me.
“I don’t remember agreeing to that. Or you asking, for that matter,” I reply, forcing myself to remain calm. “I’m not really the blindly-following type, Jack.”
“People are starting to stare,” he says through gritted teeth, “And I have a feeling our voices aren’t going to get any quieter if we keep discussing this proposition.”
“Maybe we should stop discussing it then,” I suggest, shaking off his grasp.
“That’s not an option,” he informs me, crossing his thickly muscled arms. “You have to hear me out, Callie. I don’t care if it takes all night. Just come upstairs.”
“I don’t think I’m comfortable—”
“Callie,” he says, his voice hard and final. “Finish your drink, and come up to my room with me. Now.”
“What, no ‘please’?” I ask drily.
His blazing stare is enough of an answer. And because I’m already too buzzed to drive, because some masochistic part of me really wants to hear what the hell he’s thinking with all of this, because some small part of me is pretty fucking turned on by this dominant thing he’s got going on right now, I knock back my drink and rise to my feet.
In a heartbeat, my companion becomes a different person. Jackson smiles serenely for the whole bar to see, while I try to keep the look of pure ire off my face. His ability to turn on the charming cool-guy act is honestly a bit unsettling. How can I ever know he’s being real with me, if it’s so easy for him to cover up his real emotions? How will I ever know when I’m talking to the real Jackson Cole?
We set off toward the bank of elevators at the back of the lobby and step inside, immediately moving to opposite corners of the car. My whole body is trembling with barely-contained outrage and contradictory excitement. My brain is two drinks in, more than a little foggy, and scrambling to make sense of this twist. All told, this is not the evening I had in mind when I set off to meet Jack in New York City.
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