by Lily Miles
As her lips form a perfect, plump “O,” I bend down to crush her mouth with my own, muffling her screams of ecstasy as her entire body tenses all at once, then her pussy clamps down on my finger, repeatedly. We collapse together on the floor and I hold her in my arms, tight against me.
Though I feel like closing my eyes, I refuse to shut them and lose even a second of this special moment.
My cock throbs in my pants, impatient for his turn. But that isn’t to be. Because all too soon, Catherine knocks on the door and tells us we have to hurry, our time is running out. If we stay up here much longer, someone is going to come looking for us. It’s already a miracle that I’ve been able to sneak away from my work as long as I have. Henry is probably hunting me down right now.
“I want to give you as much time as you need, Maggie,” I say softly, kissing her again. “But the fact is, my time is limited, I’m leaving early tomorrow morning. Tonight … we’ll either meet for the last time or we’ll run away together.”
Maggie’s eyes brim with tears but she nods. “Tonight. I’ll have my answer by then.”
Catherine gazes at us, her gaze determined.
“Seven-fifteen,” she says quietly. “You two can meet in the church. No one uses it on Saturdays because the priest is away and I’ll make sure you’re alone. After that, Trevor, you’ve got to leave right away. If Maggie decides to stay, you being here even a few more hours is only going to make it worse for her. Maggie, if you go, you’ll leave with him tonight.”
Again Maggie nods, biting her lip.
I turn back to Maggie, brushing my fingers over her soft cheeks. A single tear escapes, snaking down her cheek, and I brush it delicately away.
“It’s not goodbye yet,” I whisper. “I’ll see you tonight.”
She doesn’t respond and I kiss her one last time, savoring it for as long as possible. If I'm leaving tonight, I need to get some things in order, as does Maggie. It will be the hardest thing in the world to say goodbye even for just a few hours, but she needs space to make her choice either way.
I pause beside Catherine, patting her shoulder gratefully before exiting the small door and descending down the passageway once more. I step out cautiously into the kitchen, where Erik’s eyes lock on my own. He nods his head, looking after me as I race out onto the lawn, only to have someone grab my collar and drag me backward.
Copper eyes flashing, Henry stares furiously down at me.
“Do you have any idea what you’ve done, boy?” he growls.
I rip forcefully away from him, putting as much distance as possible between him and me. I turn and dash across the grass towards the staff apartment building as Henry shouts after me, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. You’ll have to face the consequences now!”
30
While Mother Antonia loves Fridays and Sundays, she despises Saturdays.
It never fails for things to be hectic on Saturday, between the arrival of the laundry truck in the evening, as well as the farmers coming in all day to drop off local produce and goods at the kitchen. It is rather nice that she was able to pawn off so many duties onto Sister Ruth lately, especially the end-of-the-week mail which always needed to get out before the post offices closed on Sunday. Since Ruth now handles the transfer of all goods coming and going from the convent, this eases Mother Antonia’s clerical burdens immensely.
So, the reverend mother supposed, she should take a moment to cherish this Saturday where she wasn’t running all over the convent like she normally would be. With any luck, Ruth wouldn’t be at the nunnery much longer. While that meant those responsibilities would fall back on Mother Antonia, at least until a suitable replacement could be found, Mother Antonia is fairly certain she would rather have more tasks to delegate, than pesky Sister Ruth sticking her nose where it didn't belong.
If only it didn't take such plotting and planning to be rid of the elderly nun. If Ruth would just die, it’d all be so much easier. Mother Antonia crosses herself hastily, promising the Lord she wouldn’t wish an untimely death on any person, but tactfully adding that he should take Ruth whenever he had the time.
She settles back, intent on at least trying to enjoy herself today.
Breakfast had been tasty and quiet. A few of the girls had been missing, but Ruth had whispered in Mother Antonia’s ear that there was a bug going around and not to mind the absences.
The meal, as usual, had been delicious. She’d had scones and blueberry compote, but her extra plate of French toast had been waiting at her desk when she returned. It was delightful, though she was missing her fruit bowl. She’d have to have a word with that aggravating chef.
Erik was another on her list of people she wanted fired once Ruth was gone. His tongue was crass and his face far too handsome. He did make a fine meal though, even she had to admit. At least he was earning his employment at the convent.
While she was eating her sweet breakfast, she’d received word that the gardener Trevor was going to be relocated Sunday morning. This thrilled her. She could tell that Sister Margaret pined for him and that enraged Mother Antonia. The faster Trevor was gone, the faster the mother superior could crush Margaret back into submission. Because forgiveness was essential, Mother Antonia believed, she would forgive Margaret for straying off the beaten path. Eventually. And only after a harsh penalty.
Yes, all the pawns on Mother Antonia’s board were falling into perfect place.
The reverend mother was so giddy that she decided she should have a little treat. But Mother Antonia had only just unlocked her secret drawer, when there was a sharp, almost frantic, knock at the door.
“What is it?” she barks, not at all interested in entertaining any of the young nuns’ tears or complaints at the moment. What she wanted was a solid five minutes without interruption. Could she not have a single cookie without it seeming to summon someone to her door?
She’s glad she stuffed her cookies back in the box, however, because without another second’s hesitation, the door crashes open.
In charges Sister Eva, her eyes wide and happy, a state Mother Antonia was not expecting. She frowns at the young nun, irritation prickling inside of her: it was even more infuriating to be interrupted because a girl was happy, then it was to be interrupted because she was sad.
“What is it?” Mother Antonia snaps once again, irate. So help her if she has to repeat herself yet a third time.
Without a word, Eva slaps a worn and crumpled notebook on the mother superior’s desk. With extreme distaste on her face, Mother Antonia pushes it away with a pale fingernail, unwilling to actually touch it. The disheveled notebook looks like it was forgotten outside overnight, like a misbehaving dog.
“Your Reverence, you’ll want to see this,” announces Sister Eva, her eyes glimmering. She can barely contain her delight, which makes one of Mother Antonia’s brows twitch upward. “I’ve been listening to my sisters just like you told me to. You were right about Maggie—I mean, Sister Margaret—you were right to watch her carefully. She’s been cavorting with the men outside our walls.”
Now Mother Antonia pays attention. She straightens sharply up, her eyes widening. “Are you certain of this?”
Eva eagerly nods. “I saw it myself. She was kissing the new gardener. Trevor, I think his name is.”
At the last moment, Eva decides against telling Mother Antonia about what she saw Catherine doing upstairs. It was best to take out the girls one at a time so she could rise in power here; she didn't need to get greedy and take out two at once. Besides, she doubted the mother superior would even bother with Catherine once she heard this news about Maggie.
The sound of soft footsteps comes from outside and Mother Antonia frowns, noticing that the door was still half open from when Eva had dashed inside.
“Close the door!” Mother Antonia barks to Eva. Meanwhile, she bends over the notebook with interest.
Eva rushes over to the door, eyes locking with the sparkling blue ones of Sister Ruth in the hall. Ruth s
ays nothing and simply gazes at the younger nun, with a faint shake of her head. Eva swallows, pushing the door shut and leaning back against it. As she watches Mother Antonia wetting her lips and cackling over the notebook, a strange doubt begins to bubble inside of Eva.
What was that feeling, the girl wonders. It wasn’t something she was used to. Uncertainty? She’d had to give the mother superior the notebook, hadn't she? She was only following the rules.
“Who was it?” Mother Antonia asks, distracted by the notebook before her. She’d seen it before. The gardener frequently had it in his grubby hands.
“Sister Grace,” Eva replies, before her mind could catch up with her tongue.
She doesn’t know why she lied, but it’s too late to correct it now. The disappointed way Sister Ruth had been looking at Eva remained in her head, making that slight doubt churn in her core. She does her best to push it aside. She has to look out for herself, no one else will, and anyway, Margaret is the one who misbehaved, not her.
Mother Antonia shrugs at the mention of the mousy, dark haired nun, then gives a gasp when she comes to the drawing of Margaret with her curls billowing and the curve of her naked breast drawn on the page.
Then, Mother Antonia cackles with glee, her head thrown back in delight. Eva had never heard the reverend mother laugh before and it made her skin crawl. Her hand clenches down on the doorknob behind her, but she can’t yet convince herself to move.
Mother Antonia picks up her phone and dials a number before pressing it to her cheek. The call goes through and Bishop Frederick’s assistant answers.
The mother superior can’t stop gazing down at the portrait: this is exactly what she needed. Now, she can bring down the final hammer and get Sister Ruth out of here for good. She hadn't expected to reach checkmate in her game so quickly, but she was grateful for what the Lord had provided her. He’d listened to her prayers.
“Hello, Your Excellency,” Mother Antonia purrs. “Yes, I'm afraid I need to speak with you urgently about a serious matter. At your honorable behest, I ordered dear Sister Ruth to take over more duties including lessons with our young nuns, but under her guidance things have gone terribly wrong. If you can come by later, I’ll show you the proof.”
As she continues the call, Mother Antonia strokes Margaret’s face on the page, following the curve of her chin. With a muted giggle that Bishop Frederick wouldn’t be able to hear, she crushes the girl’s plump lips with her thumb until the pencil mark is smeared over the paper. She beams down at the marred picture of the lovely woman.
The pretty ones are meant to be destroyed. It’s the only way to save them.
31
Margaret
How is it so hard to watch Trevor leave?
Catherine stayed with me for a while, her arm around my shoulders as the gardener reluctantly left us. She hasn’t asked any questions about what happened in that room, but I can’t stop thinking of Trevor’s hands all over me as I numbly walk down the stairs, gripping the rail because my knees are trembling so hard. I can still feel the touch of his hands on me and in me, holding me so firmly while my body shook with pleasure. It’d been exhilarating when I’d touched myself, but when he did it, it was mind-blowing. I'm still riding the aftershocks of pleasure, my knees shaky and legs weak.
I’d been so close to begging him to ravish me there on the dusty floor of that abandoned room. Had we any more time, I just might have.
Who knew that rough hands could be so very capable of tenderness? His mouth had been so warm and sweet on my own. And to tell me that he loved me, what more could a girl ever desire? Is my oath to the church worth giving that up?
If only there was a way to know for sure. What if I make the wrong decision and regret it all later?
“Sister Ruth!” cries Catherine suddenly as we make it to the bottom of the stairs.
I glance up at Cat, surprised by the relief in her eyes.
The elderly sister turns around, her typically warm face pensive and drawn. She swallows hard at the sight of us and then attempts to smile, not that it convinces either of the two of us.
Catherine parts her lips to speak, concern for the older nun mounting in her eyes, but then she changes her mind. She glances up and down the hall and then digs down into the top of her habit, withdrawing what looks like a crumpled piece of paper towel with hasty writing on it.
“A letter,” Catherine states simply. “Will you deliver it for me?”
Ruth takes it and presses it carefully into her pocket, after glancing at the name written on the folded paper. “Of course, child. It would be my pleasure. Since Mother Antonia gave me all these increased duties around the convent, I'm glad I can be of use in any way possible to my sisters.”
I feel like the two of them are talking in some strange code that I can’t quite decipher, but I'm too exhausted and drained from my emotional day to question anything right now.
All I know is, Trevor is leaving. If I don’t go with him, I’ll never see him again. So which is pulling me stronger, my commitment to the veil or to him?
Cat smiles again and then turns towards me with a wink. “Ruth, will you keep an eye on Mags here for a few minutes? She’s been feeling under the weather. I’ll be right back.”
“Certainly. Come, Sister Margaret. Let’s sit a spell,” Ruth says softly, before guiding me to a nearby room.
She closes the door and then heaves a sigh, taking her veil off and laying it aside. Her hair is surprisingly beautiful, falling in silver ringlets around her cheeks. She invites me to sit at a small table and I do so. I’ve never been in this room, but it’s small and cozy and has a simple cross on the wall and a cot. I realize abruptly it must be Ruth’s room.
Settling down beside me at the rickety table, she gazes at me solemnly. Her face is wrinkled but lovely, her eyes gentle even though her countenance is grave.
“I do believe you have a dilemma on your hands, child,” she sighs. “I don’t want to frighten you, but I believe Mother Antonia is aware of certain … rules being broken.”
Ruth chooses her roundabout words carefully, but the meaning is clear to me. Ice moves up my spine, making me sit rigidly in the chair. I can feel my face grow even more pale than it was a few minutes before.
Sister Eva has turned me in.
Ruth leans back in her chair and gazes up at the ceiling in deep thought, her brow knitting. “Sister Margaret, you aren’t the first to wish to be free of this place. And though escape is difficult, it is not impossible. Some of the other girls confide in me and I do my best to guide them, but it seems to me that you’ve already made up your mind.”
“Have I?” I whisper back, biting my lip.
She laughs and just looks at me, head cocking expectantly to the side. Tears again well in my eyes and I fall forward, burying my face in my hands.
“I love him,” I croak, the words raspy. “I truly do. I want him with every fiber of my being, more than I ever wanted to be a nun. I followed this profession because I thought it would make my family proud and I thought I would love it, but meeting him has changed me to the core. He changed my heart.”
“Yes, child,” Ruth sighs, patting my hand again and patiently listening.
I can tell by her tone that she’d heard this before, a few times over, and she doubts it’ll be the last time, either.
“Am I doing the right thing?” I whisper, desperate to know for sure.
If anyone could give me clarity, it was wise Sister Ruth.
Ruth frowns. “You know that no one can answer that difficult question but you. What I will say is when you leap into the unknown, it’s one thing to be afraid of the fall, but it’s quite another to be afraid of even jumping in the first place.”
“What do I do now?” I murmur. “If Mother Antonia has already found out about Trevor and myself, then it may be too late.”
“You have to leave,” Ruth answers quietly, just as there’s another knock at the door. Ruth glances over, going silent, and when the perso
n knocks again Ruth inhales a nervous breath.
Before she can move, the door cracks open and Eva appears there. Eva’s face is a maelstrom of emotions, so many that I can’t even begin to place which one predominates.
“You will make the right choice, Sister Margaret, because the only wrong one is to doubt yourself,” Ruth assures me, ignoring Eva for a moment, who lingers in the doorway looking furious at her own indecision. “I hope you will as well, Sister Eva,” Ruth adds with a glance at the young woman.
Eva pales, gritting her teeth. She takes a step back and bumps into Catherine, who’d reappeared as well. Eva pushes Cat away and rushes down the hall before pausing and whirling back around for just a second. In a strangely strained voice, Eva hisses, “I warned you, Maggie. I told you I was going to tell. Mother Antonia knows it all.”
32
Trevor
When I approach the staff apartment, Cliff darts abruptly out the door and grabs me by the elbow, before hauling me around to the side of the building. He glances around the corner of the dorm and then turns back to me, a stark frown on his face.
