by Leddy Harper
He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and scratched the hair on his chin with his short nails. “I’m not gonna screw you over if that’s what you’re implying.”
“I wasn’t. But realistically speaking, Carter, I can’t move here. My job is in Linville, and if I were to have a baby, I’d obviously need the paychecks. Which leaves you…will you take the baby a few weeks out of the year for your time with it, or just send me checks every month and feel like you’ve done your part? Exchange money for those cute Christmas cards with the baby’s picture on the front.”
“Why can’t you move here? I’m sure you could find a job, and that way I could be closer to the baby and help out more—physically and financially.”
“That’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard. I might make some stupid decisions from time to time—like anyone else—but I’ll never give up my job and move almost a thousand miles away from my parents to make a man’s responsibility easier on him. At least in Linville I’d have my mom to help me out if I need it. Who do I have here? If I need a place to stay to save money, I’d have one. I don’t have that option here. So no, I won’t move.”
“Then I will.”
I couldn’t breathe. My words singed my tongue. Each beat of my heart was slower than the last, tighter, more painful. I blinked at him, waiting for more, but he’d stopped talking. “You’d move? To North Carolina? To Linville? What about your gym? Your home?” I held my arm out toward the sliding glass door. “What about the beach in your back yard? You hate moving. You told me you never wanted to move again.”
“I don’t care about any of that. I could hire someone to manage the gym, or I could sell it and open a new one up there. I still have modeling, which pays well. This is what I’m talking about, Kara. We can at least have a plan in place. If you’re carrying my kid, I’m not gonna let you do it alone. I’m not gonna abandon my child and do nothing but throw money at it.”
Without saying another word, I stood up and took the box from his hand.
“I read it’s better to pee in a cup, so there’s a plastic one on the counter next to the sink.”
Even though he couldn’t see me with my back to him, I rolled my eyes and made my way to the bathroom. I only wanted this to be over. I knew it wouldn’t say positive. But after hearing him out, I decided it was what he needed to move on one way or another.”
When I opened the door, I found him leaning against the frame. “Well?”
I held the stick up so he could read it, but answered anyway. “Negative.”
He nodded slowly, his focus glued to the grey window where the digital letters clearly spelled out “not pregnant.” His brow creased heavily, which was the opposite of how I’d expected him to react. I figured he’d sigh with relief, or at the very least, throw up a fist pump. But he didn’t. He concentrated on the stick in my hand and then swiftly moved around me.
“What are you doing?”
He opened a drawer and pulled out three more boxes, all different brands. “It could be wrong. We should probably check other ones just to be sure.”
“See?” I tossed the stick into the sink and stepped away. “I told you this would happen. No matter what that test said, you wouldn’t be happy. Now you’re wasting more money and more tests for no reason. Those things aren’t cheap.”
I stood in the doorway and watched with my arms crossed while Carter opened one test from each box and dipped them into the cup of urine I knew I should’ve flushed. He didn’t speak, didn’t move, didn’t look at my reflection in the mirror in front of him as he leaned against the counter watching each test strip reveal its answer.
“All negative?”
He nodded, still not moving away from the vanity.
“Happy now?”
“No.” It was a quiet grumble, but it immobilized my fractured heart.
“No? You’re not happy they’re negative?”
Finally, he lifted his gaze and met mine through the mirror. “Can you please just let me know in a few days if you get it or not?”
I nodded and then turned away, leaving him alone in the bathroom. I didn’t bother saying goodbye. Didn’t feel the need. I simply let myself out and headed home, unsure of how any of that made me feel. I didn’t want to analyze his decision to move near me if I had, in fact, been knocked up. I didn’t want to dissect how he reacted after getting three more negative results.
The door slammed shut and in that moment, I only cared about closing that chapter and moving on.
“Let me know when you land, okay?” Danni squeezed me tight and held on for a bit longer than normal. “Have a safe flight, and don’t forget to do your business before you get on the plane.”
I laughed at her and shook my head. “Thanks for the advice.” I turned to Logan, who was still strapped in his seat in the back, and kissed his forehead. “See ya later, buddy. Be good for Mommy, okay? And no more fights with the furniture.”
Danni handed me my bag and waited next to the car while I rolled it to the curbside baggage check. I turned back one more time before walking inside and saw her wipe away a tear. It was sad leaving her, but I felt good about how close we’d grown. I hadn’t realized the impact our distance had on her, and I made it a goal to never go long without seeing them again.
I checked my ticket to make sure I was headed to the correct terminal, and when I glanced back up, my feet stopped moving. Luckily, there was no one behind me. My jaw dropped and my heart sped up. My chest ached with the invisible pressure sitting on it.
“W–what are you doing here, Carter?”
He grinned, bringing forth all the humor lines in his face I’d grown fond of over the last couple of months. “Do you realize you ask me that every time you see me?”
My face flamed, but I was too stunned to look away.
He grazed my cheek with the tip of his finger and said, “Your face is red. You’re either embarrassed or hot. Although, I’m gonna go with hot.” He winked at me, which only made the evidence of my humiliation spread down my neck to my chest.
“It’s the airport. So the question is valid once again.”
“I had to see you. You left so fast yesterday. You didn’t even tell me bye.” His expression softened, every crease vanishing, including his dimple. “I had a lot of fun with you, Kara. Honestly. I meant it when I said you’ve become a friend to me. Ever since you ran out of my house yesterday, I’ve been thinking—”
“I got my period this morning.” I wanted to slap myself for blurting it out that way. It wasn’t how I planned to tell him. I figured I’d send him a text just before I shut my phone off for the flight. But instead, I decided to practically scream it to the entire airport, for no reason, completely unprovoked. “So now there’s nothing to worry about.”
His gaze fell away, and it looked like he focused on my chin while he nodded in response. “Oh. That’s good news. I’m happy to hear it.”
We both stood there, not making eye contact, not speaking, so I decided to put an end to it. “It was nice of you to come here to see me off, but I really do need to get to my gate. I had fun with you, too. It’s certainly a summer I won’t forget anytime soon.”
I pulled my purse strap over my shoulder in preparation to leave, but he stopped me by cupping my cheek in his large hand. The calluses on his palm abraded over my skin and sent chills racing down my spine. I knew what was coming next and held my breath in anticipation.
Carter lowered himself the ten inches of our height difference to cover my mouth with his. It was soft, slow, and careful, reminding me of the way he’d kissed me after our night in the gym when he dropped me back off at home. The difference between this time and the other one was this kiss was meant as a goodbye. There was no hint of a tomorrow, no promise of a next time.
I pulled away first, knowing my heart couldn’t take any more, and stared at his hard chest while muttering, “Goodbye, Carter.”
“Bye, Kara.”
I grabbed the handle of my carry-on and headed to
ward the security line.
I never looked back.
At least, not physically.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I grabbed a banana from the counter and tried to rush out as quickly as I could without my parents seeing me. I was already running late and didn’t care to be held up with their daily questions. Ten days living with them was nine and a half days too long.
“Kara, sit down and eat. It’s not safe to stuff your mouth and drive at the same time.” My mom’s voice came from nowhere, as if she could see through walls and knew exactly what I was doing. She came around the corner into the kitchen and leaned her hip against the counter, blocking my exit. “And have a glass of milk.”
“Mom, I’m running late. I appreciate your…concern, but I don’t have time.”
“While you’re here…” This was the same thing she pulled every morning, always right when I was on my way out the door. I rolled my head back and groaned, waiting for her to finish so I could leave. “Your father and I talked last night, and we think it’s best if you stay here a little while longer. It doesn’t make sense to rush your move before you go back to work, and we think it’ll be more beneficial if you just wait until after school starts.”
“We’ve talked about this, Mom. If I wait, I won’t have time. My job doesn’t end when the classroom clears out. I still have planning and grading and prep work to do. So no, waiting to move doesn’t make sense. I appreciate you and Daddy for allowing me to keep my things here over the summer and giving me a few months of free rent. But really, Mom…I’m twenty-five years old. I’m not going to teach a bunch of kids all day and then come home to my parents’ house.”
“You make it sound so awful to be here.”
I rolled my eyes and picked up my things. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
“Then why the rush to find a place to live?”
My mom took it hard when I moved out the first time. I was the baby, and having both of her kids gone—one of them married—left her feeling like she wasn’t needed anymore. I placed my hand on her shoulder and stared right into the same shade of slate I saw in the mirror every morning. “I go back to work in eight days; first day of school starts a week later. I can’t afford to waste time. I need to have a place and all my belongings there before that happens. Otherwise, I won’t have the time to do it all.”
Her smile was weak and sad, but at least it meant she was about to give in. “Just promise me you won’t settle for something you’re not happy with. You should really like the place you pick, and if it takes you a while, you know your father and I will help you move. You won’t have to worry about doing it all by yourself.”
I kissed her soft cheek. “Thank you, Mom.”
* * *
I somehow made the fifteen-minute drive in twelve without breaking any traffic laws.
As I climbed up the stairs toward Helen, the leasing agent, my phone started to vibrate from my back pocket. I pulled it out, saw Danni’s name, and quickly silenced it. I figured I’d call her back when I left so I could tell her all about the apartment. It was small, a one-bedroom, so I knew it wouldn’t take me long to walk through it.
“The kitchen has a nice-sized pantry,” Helen pointed out, but I had a hard time concentrating when my phone buzzed again with Danni’s call. Normally, she’d leave a message or send me a text, telling me to call her back, but she didn’t this time. Instead, she called me back.
The place was small, but I would be the only one living there, and I don’t need much space. Honestly, I didn’t really take notice of it with my thoughts preoccupied with my sister, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t care. I needed a place to live—other than my parents’ house—and this apartment would have to work. “It’s perfect. I’ll take it.”
Helen pulled out a manila folder, opened it, drew out the contents, and set it on the counter. It was lease information and a contract, along with a list of defects I wouldn’t be held responsible for. “If you can just take a look at this, add anything else you’ve seen, and we can get started on signing the lease.” Her enthusiasm bordered on annoying.
I took the paper and walked around the corner to the bedroom. Before I could take note of anything on the list, my phone rang again. This time, I knew I had to answer it. Something in my gut told me this wasn’t a call to chitchat.
“Danni, I’m in the middle of looking at an apartment. Can I call you back?”
“No. Something happened…”
When faced with tragedy, the human mind could be an incredible weapon. It goes into protection mode like a turtle retreating into its shell. Helen continued talking from the kitchen, but her words were unclear and her voice distant as if she weren’t standing one room away from me. Danni’s voice became white noise, blending in with the static and high-pitched shrill only I could hear. My fingertips tingled, my breaths grew shallow and desperate, and the edges of my vision darkened, the room closing in around me.
“Kara…” I heard, but unsure from where. It was faint and panicked. “Kara? Are you there? Are you listening to me? Did you hear what I said?”
I shook my head and slowly began to come back to the present.
“No. What happened?” I asked into the phone once I realized it was Danni I’d heard.
“There’s been an accident. I don’t have any details, but I thought you’d want to know.”
Accident.
Tommy.
Logan.
Without a clue as to who she was talking about, my mind filled in the blanks with every worst-case scenario my active imagination could conjure up. Something had happened overseas with my brother. Logan had hurt himself again, but this time, worse than before. I couldn’t stop the graphic images from filling my head. But then her voice broke through again, and brought me back from the ledge of insanity.
“No, Kara, not Tommy. Not Logan.”
I must’ve said their names out loud.
Relief almost found me…
Almost.
“It’s Carter. Something happened to Carter.”
I’d spoken to him a few times since I left Florida. Once was a phone call that had kept us both up all night. The other times were texts. However, they weren’t regular, so when I hadn’t heard from him in the last two days, I tried not to think anything of it. I figured we didn’t have a chance, so there was no point in getting heartbroken over his silence.
“W–what happened? Danni? What happened to Carter?” My voice didn’t sound anything like mine. It was deep and sharp, guttural. It shook with fear and panic as each strangled word broke free.
“I don’t have all the specifics, but he’s apparently been here for two days. I just found out. He’s in the burn unit, but that’s all I know. I wasn’t able to get any more information before I called you.”
“Why did you call me?”
She grew quiet for a moment and then cleared her throat. “I thought you’d want to know. He’s been asking for you. I know a nurse who works on that floor. She was telling me this morning about a man with tattoos who’s been asking for someone since he came in, but no one knows who she is, so no one can get ahold of her. That’s how I found out. I called you immediately.”
Rather than retreating into myself, I flew into action. Everything happened so fast I didn’t have time to process anything. I ran out of the room, not caring about the checklist I’d dropped on the floor, and paused in front of Helen to say, “I’m so sorry, but I have to go. I can’t do this now.”
I didn’t give her a chance to respond before I turned around and fled the apartment complex. At some point, I’d disconnected the call with Danni, but I couldn’t remember when I actually did it. One minute, my hand violently shook as I tried to start my car, and the next, I was in my room at my parents’ house throwing clothes into the suitcase I’d just unloaded a few days before. I had no idea what I grabbed as I opened drawers and flung everything I could into the bag.
My mom found me in the bathroom frantically swee
ping items off the counter into my arms. “What’s going on, Kara Lynn?”
“I have to go, Mom.” I tried to rush past her, uncaring about my harsh tone.
“Slow down!” She held onto my shoulders and stopped me. Toothpaste, a hairbrush, and a bottle of soap fell to the floor. The sound of the plastic brush ricocheting off the tile sparked the first tear. The dam burst and my arms dropped; everything I’d held crashed to my feet just as rivers of salt-infused anxiety cascaded down my cheeks.
“I have to go to him, Mom. He’s hurt. I don’t know how bad. I don’t know what happened. But he’s hurt, and I have to go to him.”
“Who? Who’s hurt, Kara?” Her eyes widened, and concern turned her large, grey orbs into shining silver disks. “Where are you going?”
“Carter. Danni called and told me he’s in the burn unit. Mom…” My voice cracked and gave out, just as I fell into her open arms. I knew she had no idea who Carter was, considering I hadn’t told her. We were close, but not in the way I could tell her about my summer fling. In her eyes, I was still an innocent child…and I was okay with her thinking that.
“Sweetheart, you need to calm down. You’re not making any sense.” She directed me into my room and sat me on the edge of the bed. She pushed my suitcase away, tucked me into her side, and gently combed her fingers through my hair.
“I met him when I was in Florida. Danni said he’s been asking the hospital staff for me, and I’m not there. I have to be there for him, Mom. He needs me.”
“And how are you getting there? When will you be back? You return to work in a week and I thought you were looking at apartments.” Her tone was as soft as her fingers in my hair, and I knew she only meant the best, but it didn’t stop me from becoming defensive.
“I don’t care about any of that right now!” I jumped up and twirled in circles, trying to remember where I’d set my phone when I came into the room. My mom must’ve known what I was in search of, because she picked it up off my dresser and cautiously handed it to me. The support in her eyes was enough to calm me down and make me act somewhat rational.
