She seemed so proud of herself for having roped me into this. Not that it took much effort on Rain’s part. I had to admit that I knew I would need the distraction once I returned home from my trip. Bali would keep my mind off my personal life while I was away, but once I came home it would be back to business as usual, so I decided to take her up on her invitation.
“Okay, Baby, I’ll phone you when I get back.”
“How about the Tuesday after you return home? Dominick took that week off, but he is so busy with his workload at the firm that I think he will probably change his mind and go back up to the city and work there. This way he won’t even know what we’re up to. I think he’ll also feel less guilty leaving me here if he thinks we’re working on our book together. Besides, I want everyone down here the following weekend for a goodbye to summer party. I decided we would celebrate Daniel and Dominick’s birthday at the same time. He’ll think I’m busy making arrangements for that. It will all work out perfectly.” Rain explained.
“You realize, Baby, that Mike and Raven aren’t going to come if I’m there.”
“Well, Mike probably won’t, but I have a funny feeling my sister will be down.”
“What makes you say that?” I had hoped to see Raven again, so we could make things right between us.
“Because she has been driving me crazy since her and Mike broke it off. I’ve never seen her so unsure of herself. She calls me for every little thing. I’ve heard from her more in the last few days than I have in this entire year. Her curiosity alone will bring her down to the party.”
“Her curiosity?” I wondered what she would be so curious about.
“Yeah, she’ll know that I invited you, but wonder if you're coming and who you’re bringing down here with you.”
“Rain, I’m not bringing anyone?”
“I know that and you know that, but Raven doesn’t know that, so she’ll make sure she’s here to see what’s going on in your life. You know how she is. She’ll want to see that everything is back to normal, so she can feel less guilty.”
“Well, all three of us are guilty in the situation. Anyway, I thought by now she would be scheming to get my brother back.”
“That was last week’s news. This week she is singing a different tune entirely. She started her familiar melodrama with her stating that maybe she wasn't meant to be with anyone and she’s probably better off alone. I could hear the violins screeching in the background as she dramatically pressed her forearm to her forehead and clutched her imaginary pearls.” Rain started to laugh.
I chuckled because I knew Raven’s emotions were all over the place, same as mine. I wondered if this meant she felt as conflicted as I did and would want to come to a neutral place where it would be less awkward between us. I doubted that, but we needed to start somewhere. I wanted to talk to her about it in person. I knew we would have plenty of time during the weekend of the party to discuss it.
Rain and I said our goodbyes and I promised to be at the shore house bright and early the Tuesday after I returned. We hung up and I headed upstairs for a shower and to grab my gear and then leave for the airport for my flight. After speaking with Rain, I felt my attitude lighten up just a bit, as I was excited to get to Bali and hit the waves.
Chapter Two
Expect the Unexpected
Tommy
I finished my shower when the doorbell rang. I wasn’t expecting anyone, so I didn’t attempt to head downstairs to answer it. Seconds later came the sound of Raven’s loud voice. She pounded on my front door and continued to scream. I immediately ran down the stairs to stop her. My neighbors definitely would not appreciate Raven’s shrills on a weekend that they could sleep in.
I held the towel around my waist with one hand, as I opened the door to silence Raven. I pulled it open mid-pound, so she nearly hit me in the face. I ducked to one side and laughed.
“Hey, hey, calm down, babe. Do you want my neighbors to call the cops?” I said with an amused grin on my face.
Raven was anything, but amused. She glared at me and walked right in.
“Make yourself at home.” I said, as she walked past me in a huff. I shook my head and closed the door to ensure that the people living in my building would no longer be disturbed. Actually, the way Raven was screaming, I was making sure all of New York City wouldn’t be bothered by Raven Medici and her newest tantrum.
I turned to see her in my foyer with her arms crossed over her chest and her cheeks flushed with anger. Maybe I needed to rethink the talk I wanted to have with her. I smiled and walked in closer to see what this drama was all about.
“Why are you smiling? You're going to ruin everything.” She stated in a huff.
“Come again?” I halted. My confused expression froze on my face, as I was thrown off by her strange statement. What could I have possibly done to her now? Knowing Raven as I did, probably nothing. Raven seemed to conjure up scenarios in her mind that any normal human being just wouldn’t understand or have the patience to deal with.
“Tommy, you accepted Rain’s invitation to her end of summer party. With you there everything that I have planned is going to be ruined!” She said for a second time.
“I’m really not sure what I would be ruining if I accepted an invite to something Rain is throwing. But I’m sure you're going to tell me, though.”
“Rain invited the whole family, including Michael. If you go, Michael won’t come and I need to see him.” Her words made my chest tighten, just slightly. My brother cheated on her and granted, I shouldn’t have fucked her, but now I’m the only bad guy in this scenario? Bali, here I come.
“Ahh…that’s what this is all about. Rain, told you. Well, I’m going, so if you need to see Mike, then just call him. You don’t need Rain’s party to beg him to get back with you.” I sounded bitter and for good reason. Raven was being a selfish bitch, true to form.
“Beg? Why should I beg? He was the one who cheated on me, first. He should be the one to beg me.”
“So that’s why we slept together, because Mike cheated in your relationship first and you needed me to make him jealous?” I wasn’t sure why, but I was sort of insulted at this point.
“No, and don’t you put words in my mouth. You know that’s not at all why we slept with each other. Don’t make it ugly.” Her voice softened and her gaze drifted to the floor.
I moved closer to her and pinched her chin so she would look up at me. She looked pissed, so I released my fingers quickly from her skin and stepped back a bit.
“I’m not the one trying to make this thing between us ugly. That wasn’t my intention, but what we did wasn’t right, yet it still happened and we can’t deny it. I’m just saying that it has nothing to do with the invite that I accepted for the party. Besides, Rain asked me to be there the Tuesday before that weekend to work on the book.”
“Wait, you're going down to the shore house that whole week? You realize that Rain is married now, don’t you? She has a family to take care of.”
“I know that. I just explained to you that we working on a few things we need for the book while Dominick tends to the extra work he has at the firm.” I couldn’t reveal the real reason that I was going down to the shore earlier than everyone else. Raven would be livid and she’d probably tell Kane.
“I see. So, if that’s the case then why don’t you leave at the end of the week?This way, there’s a chance Michael will still come to the party. Then he and I will have time to talk.”
She really does think the world revolves around her, doesn’t she?
“Listen, if you and Mike need that weekend to mend fences, then do it.”
“Thanks Tommy.” She said, as she kissed my cheek, yet she lingered there, ever so slightly. That made me wonder if she was playing both sides of the fence.
“Don’t thank me. I’m still going down and staying for Rain’s party. You're both adults. Why don’t you and Mike go somewhere else and have your little reunion alone?” I smirked.
&
nbsp; “Grrrr! You're so frustrating. Are you going to back out of the party or not?”
“Not! You're a big girl, babe. If you want something, then go after it. Don’t let me stand in your way.” I stepped to the side, as I held my towel with one hand, while I presented Raven the front door with the other.
She was pissed that she didn’t get her way. I was personally amused. She acted like a child and I wasn’t about to feed into it. I wasn’t like Mike. He never addressed her behavior, so she continued to act that way. Brooding, she stomped forward towards the front entrance to leave my house.
Raven stopped just before she was about to walk out and turned towards me. Whoa! This wasn’t going to be good…fun, yes, but good, no.
Chapter Three
What I Want
Raven
I had just found out from Rain that she was inviting everyone down to the shore in two weeks for a party to celebrate the summer’s end, as well as Dominick and Daniel’s birthday. It would be the first time they celebrated together after finding out that they were brothers. She didn’t do it this weekend because it was a special time for my sister. It was a year since they met. I should say since he took her. I can’t say that I was thrilled about the way my sister went about meeting her husband, but I couldn’t judge her either. My life was a mess. I felt like a complete idiot and I had so many regrets and made so many mistakes.
I tried hard not to look back, but it wasn’t working. I always felt I could handle anything, but I guess much of the time what I really did was whine and stomp my feet to get my way. It was hard to admit it, but it was true. My situation forced me to take a good hard look at my actions and at myself. None of it looked pretty. Well, pretty embarrassing, maybe, but otherwise it made me look like a childish and selfish adult.
I thought I had the perfect life, yet nothing was as it appeared. It was, for lack of a better description, a false image of what I thought perfect should be and how it should look to others. I let the idea of perfection define me. The perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect city and what I thought was the perfect relationship with the perfect man.
Deep down inside I knew now that how I behaved was wrong. Everyone “works” at a relationship, but I wasn’t working with Michael and creating the life we talked about when we first got together. I tried masterfully to create a life that everyone would be envious of, unfortunately, no one was, not even me. All I managed to do was push Michael further away and in the process I ruined my friendship with Tommy by sleeping with him. We further ruined our individual relationships with Michael.
He certainly shouldn’t have cheated on me, but I guess everyone has a breaking point. I wish he had just talked to me about how he had been feeling instead of running to another woman to get what he needed. I chuckled uncomfortably at that thought. He probably did try to talk to me, but again, I was just too distracted by my perfect plans for us.
Honestly, my entire life seemed like it had turned into a three ring circus and I was the Ringmaster. Everyone tried to jump through hoops to make me happy. And I still wasn’t happy. I was undoubtedly miserable. Then, I went to Italy to be with my sister for a family trip. I was disappointed, but not surprised that Michael didn’t come to try to work things out while we were there. I thought being away could have helped.
Maybe I wasn’t as disappointed as I first thought because when I had gotten to Rome with Tommy, life seemed different, easier. Life seemed real again. Not real like my relationship with Michael, but real in the sense that I was able to breathe for the first time in a long time.
Tommy was that breath of fresh air. He made me feel alive. He made me feel protected and wanted, really wanted. He cared about how I felt on the inside and not how it would look to others. He didn't give a shit what other people thought. I admired him for that. He wasn’t about keeping up appearances. Tommy had never been about that.
During our childhood, I would have pangs of jealousy that ran through me when I saw Rain and Tommy together. My sister was always happy when she was with him. It helped her to survive our mother’s obsession in keeping her safe for all those years. My mother loved Tommy and his family, so she never had an issue with him being there. I always wondered why they never took their relationship any further.
One day I asked Rain about it. She explained that although she loved Tommy very much, she feared that a relationship with him could fail and it wasn’t worth the risk of what they had built over the years and what they shared as best friends.
Admittedly, I was envious of her. Not at her confinement, but I was envious of how easily Rain was able to adjust her life to the many obstacles that were placed in front of her by Cella. Our mother was some piece of work. Tommy was the main reason that Rain was able to adjust. He made it safe and as normal as possible for her, even though it wasn’t all that normal for him either. How could it be? He grew up observing what our mom put Rain through, all for the sake of protecting Rain. That wasn’t a normal way to live for any child.
I could see that Rain’s reasons were valid not to have sex with Tommy. Had it not worked out between them, Rain’s life would have changed and not necessarily for the better. Everything she knew and felt safe with would have crumbled. She certainly might not have survived that, so I guess Rain’s feelings on the subject made perfect sense.
I was sure to others, it appeared odd that both families split up their lives to help Cella Medici, but I guess in all reality the Contes felt that they had been helping Rain and me more than our mother.
I mainly lived in New York City with my dad, except for summers, holidays and the occasional unplanned, but needed trips, I was in Capri. Michael, Tommy and his parents stayed in Capri much of the time during the school year.
Michael was the oldest by about five years. Tommy, Rain and I were all the same age. Michael asked his parents if he could go to school in New York when he had gotten older. And although they were apprehensive, they agreed. Part of the agreement was that he would live in my dad’s duplex with us. The Contes traveled back and forth between Italy and New York for business. Just as our father had when he visited Rain and our mother.
While Michael and I lived under the same roof, an attraction began to develop between us. We both decided that it wasn’t a good idea and dated others for the same reasons; Tommy and Rain didn’t pursue a relationship together. We just didn’t want our friendship to be destroyed over sex. As I look back on it now, we should have kept it that way. Then maybe none of this would have ever happened. I had to stop this; there was no changing the past.
When my mom had become ill and Michael started to work at the firm, we took this long-growing desire for one another and acted upon it. Before we knew it, we were in a full-blown relationship. We moved into our own place together next to my dad. Eventually, we were engaged and I began to plan the perfect wedding.
We were happy in the beginning, but in time the magic wore off and it seemed like we were two people playing our parts in a story. We did it so well for so long that it just became second nature, another part of our day-to-day routine. A piece of me knew that we were only going through the motions to keep up appearances, again for others.
Unfortunately, old habits die hard, if at all. I had always been about keeping up appearances; always afraid of what mere acquaintances thought of me. Instead of worrying about the people outside of my life, I should have worried about Michael. What I put him through on a daily basis would have made most men walk away. All I did was concern myself about me and my needs. Michael never said anything, never made waves. He indulged me in everything. He took it all in stride, but even he had a breaking point.
Tommy was a different story. It was not my intention, but I slept with him when I discovered that Michael had cheated on me. I was a mess and I needed someone. I…I…I… that’s all I ever thought about was me. My hurt, my feelings, how everything affected me. Some things never changed. But I’ve had time to play it out in my head and I knew I had to change. I was always ab
le to fix things as an attorney. That’s what I was good at, but this was about me personally and ironically, it was the one time I had wished I wasn’t the center of attention. I had to mend what was broken. The truth was that I was broken. How could I repair that? I didn’t really know who I was anymore.
Michael and I won’t ever get back what we had, but I had hoped that at the very least if he came to Rain’s party, we could talk things out for the most part and start fresh. If not, maybe we could at least end it on an amicable note. We may never get to be friends again, but we didn’t have to be enemies either.
This was why I decided to pay Tommy a visit this morning. I heard he was going away and I wanted to speak with him before he left. I found out from my conversation with my sister that he was going to the party. Maybe I was deluding myself into believing that Tommy would stay home for me…me again, but I had to try.
As distraught as I had been by the current state of my personal life, I knew the only way for me to move forward would be to confront Michael once and for all. I knew that if Tommy was there Michael wouldn't go. I needed to try to persuade Tommy to decline Rain’s invite to the party, so that Michael and I could have that weekend to mend fences or at least agree on a truce.
The Ties That Bind (Miss Taken Identity #3) Page 2
